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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |545 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 28, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 26, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I have a GF who wanted to get intimate with me within the first week of our relation, though taken aback,I finally gave in. Such encounters became regular. But over time I realized that she gets intimate with many other male friends of her as well.I even caught her in middle of one such act .I confronted her and she partially admitted it and told that she wouldn't repeat it. But ever since I have lost trust with her. I plan to unilaterally break the relationship. But Since I am emotionally still stuck with guilt, not sure if it is the right thing to do. Please advise.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. What she did was cheating and not being able to trust her anymore is completely natural. If you want to break the relationship because you can no longer trust your girlfriend, it is okay. There is a hint of guilt because you are human, but there's no need for the same. You are not in the wrong here. She broke your trust and now you want to part ways. It's your choice, same as it was her's to cheat.

Best Wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |545 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2025
Relationship
Me and my girlfriend we both are in relationship from about last 2 years (almost). After such a long time I got to know that she had 2 relationships before me that too she didn't told I got to know it by third person she was sexually involved too (not intercourse but yes other things with one of them)... When I asked her that why you didn't told anything to me before she said she was scared that if she'll tell it to me so I'll leave her and she really did not wanted that... She was scared to loose me. And she was still in contact with that guy and when I asked her that why you were still in contact with him (it's been around 3 years they got separated) so she says that she is like that only... She can't deny anyone because of her soft hearted nature but she did not had any feelings for him. She also said that once she even went to meet him when he requested to meet and also on the same she claims that her soft hearted nature has done that she wasn't able to deny. I loved her too much but now all these things are hurting me like anything. (She is my first relationship before her i never had anyone)
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are hurt and the complexities of the hearts might be difficult sometimes to grasp. The first reason for your sorrow, her past relationship, and the fact that she was physically intimate with them is not completely justifiable. Though I understand that you feel hurt because she did not disclose it to you, still it should not matter so much as to ruin your present relationship. And whether she will open up about such sensitive details is actually up to her. It has nothing to do with how much she loves you or trusts you. Please understand that.

Now coming to the next thing, the fact that she is still in touch with them and has even met one of them, that is slightly concerning. It would have been okay if she did that openly- please understand that I am not saying she should have asked for your permission, but rather discuss the same with you. Moreover, in a relationship, it is also important to understand how much your partner is comfortable with- goes for both men and women. If you are uncomfortable with her relationship with her exes, she should consider that. I would have said the same if the table was turned. I suggest you have a clear conversation with her and express how you feel about this situation- depending on how she reacts and how the conversation goes, you both can think about the next step.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

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