Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |523 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on May 06, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Actually we both don't want to end this just becos his parents are so strict we are priorly doing this , we didn't tell our parents yet becos we are student and still not earning and settled . But as his family tendency he don't want to give false hope as he can't see any chances as his brother brokeup his 6 yrs of relationship based on that.should we seriously brkup in this situation and hurt ourselves before or we just wait for some miracle to happen in future becos there is so much time we have to settle and marriage becos we feel we cannot move on much and always there will be a place for him and he said the same thing there will be place for me also in his heart regardless of whatever happens in future .

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand it's a tricky situation. If you want to remain together, it is completely up to you but one day or the other, you will have to face your parents. If you are up for it, if you are ready to try your best and convince them, then why not? But, in the event they still don't accept you, then what? It's important to find a practical solution first, instead of hoping for a "miracle." That rarely happens.

There is no need to rush into anything. Take your time to figure out what you want. Are you willing to take the trouble of convincing your parents or going against their will? Ask yourself that. Figure out how important this relationship is to you. You are both still young. The best bet is to focus on your studies, then build a good career, and then present the matter to your parents.

Best Wishes!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |523 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
hi sir/maam I am 22 yrs old and my boyfriend is 28 yrs old. We both are in the same office right now and his home is very near from that. At this point, we've been in a relationship for 8 months. He is very emotional and understanding and always there for me. Nobody knows about us, only my friends do. I am not that serious but confused if i lose someone who had loved me this much. He asks about marriage but it would be intercaste so i say that parents would not approve this. My friends advice me to break up. I try to disconnect with him but as soon as I talk to him I fail to do. I feel like talking to him console him. The thing is I'll talk to my parents 2 yrs later but he asking for commitment as he is getting other marriage proposals and its the right time for him to get settle but for me, he's saying he's ready to wait only if i give commitment. My father has said once that study and become independent but never risk my self respect in this society. Should i risk my boyfriend's life by giving the commitment ? I'm confused because i think at this point im kind of girl that will adjust somehow atleast im getting a person who loves me alot, i also love him but he's more into this feeling. What should i do? Recently he's got a marriage proposal and his family is seriously asking for his answer but he was asking what i want? i asked him to consider that and directly said it will not be possible for me to commit but im still in dilemma- im losing sth imp, should i go for him?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your dilemma. All I can say is that neither one of you is wrong here. He wants commitment before he decides to wait for you, and you want some more time. Both your requirements make perfect sense. My suggestion is that if you really think that you can't commit, you should clear that to him right away, and let him decide whether or not he is okay to go on like that. It's not fair to keep him hanging nor will it be right to make a decision for him. Give him clarity of the situation and let him decide.

In case you guys decide to break up, let him move on. I understand the urge to comfort him, but doing so, you are only going to stall his moving on process.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Janak

Janak Patel  |15 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 10, 2025Hindi
Money
Advice Needed: Transitioning Back to India & Financial Planning Hello, I’m currently in the process of transitioning back to India after spending the last 15 years abroad. My family includes my wife (early 30s) and our 1-year-old baby. We are staying with my parents for now but are planning to move into a larger, more comfortable residence, either by buying or renting. I’d love to hear some perspectives on my financial situation, as I’m trying to figure out the best course of action in this new chapter. Here’s a quick summary of where I stand: 1. Cash Savings: We’re consolidating assets from both India and abroad, and will have about ₹4 crore in liquid funds. 2. Retirement Savings: I have a PPF-equivalent account of around ₹70 lakhs, which I can only access at age 65. I’m hoping the modest returns from this will be sufficient for my retirement. 3. Inherited Assets: I’ve inherited ancestral properties valued around ₹30 crore. I’m not planning to liquidate these assets or touch them for at least the next 10 years. 4. Career: I work in IT and expect a salary of about ₹1.3 lakh per month (after tax) in India. My wife is in the early stages of her career, so we’re still deciding whether she will work here or possibly start her own small business. Given all of this, here’s where I’m at: * Investment options: I’m considering investing the ₹4 crore in commercial real estate to generate passive income. I’ve seen a couple of properties with rental guarantees of ₹1.5 lakh per month, with a 5% annual increase. * Housing preference: My family prefers to live in a gated community, so I’m not really inclined to invest in residential property for passive income. * Housing decision: Should I buy an apartment or villa now, betting on my career certainty here, or focus on creating more financial freedom first before making career moves in India? In my heart, I feel that achieving financial independence should be my first priority before diving into career opportunities or starting a business here. What would you do in my situation? I'd love to hear your thoughts or any advice you can offer!
Ans: Hi,

Welcome back to India and Congratulations on taking this big decision to move back to India.

Before I start my response to your queries, just want you to know we share a couple of things in common. I was abroad for a considerable time and returned back to India and I was also in the IT field at that time, before I moved ship to Personal Finance and Financial Planning. So I can relate to some of your concerns, queries and thought process in that regard.

This may be a bit long but hopefully its helpful.
Your current Financial summary -
Cash/Liquid funds - INR 4 Crores
PPF equivalent - INR 70 Lakhs available at age 65
Inherited properties - valued at INR 30 crores no plan to liquidate as of now
Salary/Income - INR 1.3 lakhs per month in hand

As a few critical data points are not mentioned but with few indicators in queries, I will make some assumptions for the same - Age 37 years, Location for housing/work - Metro/2nd tier city.

Lets get a couple of things kept aside for this discussion -
PPF equivalent - INR 70 lakhs > for retirement can grow to an amount between INR 2 Crores (@4% returns) to INR 4.5 Crores (@7% returns), will cover this again when I mention Retirement below.
Inherited Properties - as there is no plan for liquidation, excluding this completely.

Decisions to be made -
1. Investment Options
2. Housing Buy/Rent
3. Financial freedom/independence

Lets go through each of these and I will add more for your consideration as they will have a weightage on all future decisions.

1. Investment Options
A> Commercial real estate with investment on INR 4 Crores and return of INR 1.5 lakhs per month
Pros -
Regular month income
Commercial Real Estate asset

Cons -
Return on Investment is 4.5% before reducing charges for maintenance, may be below 4% net in hand
Rental Income is taxable (added to other incomes and taxed as per slab rate) expect highest tax rate of 30% as total income will exceed INR 30 lakhs (Salary + rent)
All available funds will be deployed

Note - Commercial real estate appreciation is primarily based on location. Capital gains on Commercial real estate attract tax at 20% as of now.

B> Lets consider an alternative approach assuming investment is for a long term which is usually for real estate assets e.g. 20 years
Invest INR 4 Crores in Mutual funds.
A well diversified portfolio can generate 12% returns over the long term. The Corpus after 20 years will be over INR 38 Crores.

But considering your requirement for a monthly income from this investment, lets do another approach. Split your Investment.
Invest INR 2 Crores in a well diversified Mutual Funds portfolio expecting a 12% return - Corpus at the end of 20 years = INR 19+ crores
For regular income, Invest INR 2 Crores in Balanced Advantage mutual funds and considering a modest return of 10% (last 10 years data will show higher returns). Keep investment for 1 year before withdrawing to attract Long term Capital Gains tax (tax efficient approach). After 1 year you can receive INR 1.5 lakhs per month (increasing at 5% annually) for the next 20 years.

Pros -
Investment generates higher rate of return, Corpus growing/compounding at 12% return
Regular month income
Investment returns are more tax efficient
Flexibility to deploy all or partial funds towards building a corpus
Corpus can be liquidated in future much faster and easily than Real estate

Cons -
No real estate asset

Recommendation - Approach B is recommended as this will provide liquidity and appreciation towards wealth creation. This will also provide availability of funds for a new venture as and when required if that becomes a viable option in the future.

2. Housing Buy/Rent
If you plan to stay in India for long and settle down (not clearly indicated considering career options), you can consider buying a house property. But if the work location is not what you believe to be the place where you would like to settle down, then start with a Rental option and over time reconsider location for buying option.

Buying Property
Pros -
Asset is generated
Stability of residence if/when self occupied
Some amount of tax deductions/exemptions can be claimed if Loan is taken

Cons -
A large amount of funds required/blocked for full payment / partial payment (with loan)
EMI on Loan reduces income/funds in hand
EMI is much higher than rent
Locked to the property, change will be expensive

Renting Property
Pros -
Capital is not deployed immediately
Rent can be claimed for tax benefits
Provide opportunity to consider long term housing decision
Difference between EMI and Rent can be Invested to generate a good corpus
Flexibility to move jobs across locations

Cons
No Asset is generated
Rent is an expense
No sense of ownership in the house you stay

So in summary, the decision is more individual and how you perceive the house property as an asset. For flexibility to settle down in your career in India I can recommend to start with a Rental option and I am sure in a few years you will know where and what to buy (if at all) towards your house property. Also Location is again critical towards budget and type of housing to consider.

3. Financial freedom/independence
This is probably more important than we realize. With time if we accumulate debt through loans, and expenses, this is one goal which takes a back seat.
Assuming you have worked on the above 2 goals and finalized your options/approach for them, I would strongly recommend you plan your monthly expenses and cash in/outflows to understand what amount you have in hand that can be considered towards savings for the future.
With a long road ahead in your work life (another 20+ years), Asset allocation needs to be considered when planning to deploy your savings. Equity based investment can provide health returns for investments that are for more than 7 years and a well diversified Mutual Fund portfolio can achieve this. For requirements within 5-7 years do consider debt products to park your money and earn modest returns giving priority to liquidity and safety.

Few very important points are not mentioned but I would like to highlight and you should start considering them immediately.

1. Life Insurance - Buy a Term Life plan for yourself and once your wife starts earning, for her too. The amount needs to be calculated and my final recommendation (last para below) will cover this. Start with INR 50 lakhs and keep adding based on the Financial plan.

2. Health Insurance - Buy a good coverage for Family (even though you may have some with your employer). Recommend to go upto 1 Crore (and there are multiple options Base cover + Top-up covers for this).

3. Emergency Funds - Keep aside at least 6-9 months of expenses as emergency funds in a safe and liquid investment e.g. Fixed Deposits.

4. Your child's education - Within another 1.5 years schooling (pre-primary) will start and the education expenses are not as easily managed now. They will require a plan as they escalate very quickly as the child moves towards higher levels of education. Education inflation is in the range of 12% ~ 15% on average. So depending on what your decide for the school/education institute, this becomes a considerable amount and if unplanned may erode your corpus very quickly.

5. Though you have mentioned Retirement briefly, the PPF-equivalent amount will not be sufficient for retirement. Retirement typically at 60 years of age demands a corpus to cover the next 20-25 years of lifespan. Considering inflation may be just getting covered by the modest returns on your INR 70 lakhs fund, you are definitely short on the retirement side.

As you can see we have not considered the inherited property in this discussion, it can have a considerable impact towards your over financial plan.

Though I have provided some responses to your individual queries, this will still need a more comprehensive Financial Planning.
Hence I strongly recommend you approach a Certified Financial Planner and go through the process to arrive at a Financial plan which will be in sync with your Life plan. A CFP will take into account all aspects of your personal preferences and guide you towards various options and alternatives you can consider. The comprehensive Financial plan will include/cover all aspects of Investment management, Risk management (life and health Insurance), Retirement planning and Tax management - a tax efficient approach towards your requirements. Please remember just as Life is ever changing and evolving for each of us, so will your Financial plan require the changes and evolution to stay relevant for you, and this is where a CFP will add the most value when you have a long association. A CFP will plan and re-plan your goals and its requirements over the years and provide options and recommend the amounts and product categories to consider for each of them.

Best wishes for you to settle down and hope the above has provided a start towards it.

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x