Actually we both don't want to end this just becos his parents are so strict we are priorly doing this , we didn't tell our parents yet becos we are student and still not earning and settled . But as his family tendency he don't want to give false hope as he can't see any chances as his brother brokeup his 6 yrs of relationship based on that.should we seriously brkup in this situation and hurt ourselves before or we just wait for some miracle to happen in future becos there is so much time we have to settle and marriage becos we feel we cannot move on much and always there will be a place for him and he said the same thing there will be place for me also in his heart regardless of whatever happens in future .

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Someone will be disappointed; so learn to deal with that...
An ideal life where everyone is happy around you is an unrealistic expectation.
So, let your boyfriend talk to your parents...yes, your parents may disapprove, and if they do, figure out how you are going to tackle that. if you have boyfriend who is moody, know that he is at an age where he is not interested in drama and wants things to go a particular way. Is he willing to be patient through your parents' disapproval and work with it? Make sure to let him know that avoiding a topic, upsets you and watch how he reacts to it.

Also, have you thought of your future? You are 21...where is your career in all of this? Do focus on that as well...It will help you steady your mind and instill a lot of confidence to deal with challenges.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Fourteen years is a profound commitment, and the fact that both of you have nurtured such a bond reflects a solid foundation that’s not easy to find or replicate. The conflict seems to lie mainly in your family’s fears and cultural values around marriage and their concern about potential patterns in relationships. This is an understandable reaction from them, given the uniqueness of his family background compared to what they’ve experienced.

It’s natural for you to feel torn, especially since you value your family’s approval and understand the complexities that can arise in marriage. While family acceptance can provide a comforting support system, there are instances when it doesn’t fully align with one’s own heart. Marrying him would mean choosing to rely primarily on each other, despite family reservations, which could require extra resilience and patience as you move forward together. Since he has strong relationships with both parents, it may be reassuring that he has a healthy view of family, despite their past. This could suggest that he has personal maturity and the ability to build a stable, loving relationship with you.

At the same time, your family’s perspective doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any curse or pattern that would carry over into your marriage. The key to deciding might be to look at the qualities he brings to the relationship, how both of you handle challenges, and whether he brings stability, honesty, and emotional support. The longevity and health of your relationship are positive indicators, and if both of you have open communication about potential concerns—like how family dynamics might play a role in the future—you’ll likely be prepared to face those hurdles together.

You’re faced with a decision that balances taking a leap of faith with the potential for some family disappointment. If he is the partner with whom you see a fulfilling life, the choice to marry might ultimately come down to what feels right to you, independent of family fears. Love, trust, and understanding—especially those that withstand the test of time—are incredibly powerful foundations. So, if you believe in the strength of your bond and feel you could weather any storm together, choosing him could be a step toward building the kind of family you truly want, even if it’s unconventional by your family’s standards.

But if you’re still unsure, taking time to express all these feelings to him, to explore your shared values and long-term goals, and to be absolutely sure of the life you want to build can help reinforce whichever path feels right for you.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your dilemma. All I can say is that neither one of you is wrong here. He wants commitment before he decides to wait for you, and you want some more time. Both your requirements make perfect sense. My suggestion is that if you really think that you can't commit, you should clear that to him right away, and let him decide whether or not he is okay to go on like that. It's not fair to keep him hanging nor will it be right to make a decision for him. Give him clarity of the situation and let him decide.

In case you guys decide to break up, let him move on. I understand the urge to comfort him, but doing so, you are only going to stall his moving on process.

Hope this helps.