Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |629 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 01, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi Ravi, I am 40 yrs old and have been married to my lwife for 12 years. There has been many issues between us ranging from my family's behaviour towards her, my failures in meeting her expectations especially behavioural patterns/attention. Her complain towards me is that I didn't give her the kind of attention and affection which she deserved. I acknowledge that because I struggled very hard in my initial phase of career. In today's scenario she has totally lost interest in me and get attracted towards men who even shows some attention towards her. This is has happened a couple of times. Whenever I countered her for these incidents she tell that it was I who forced her to do all this. I am ready to commit my efforts to make our relationship better but she says she can't have those kind of feelings again for me. She is under constant stress and anxiety due to this and is affecting her health a lot. She is a good person by nature so I don't want to leave her but considering the toxicity of the relation and her deteriorating health due to this relation I suggested her to get separated but she says that she can't divorce because of family/other issues. I can see her struggle/pain in this forced relationship and wanted to help her but can't find out the way. Please help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you are in a tricky situation and appreciate that you are putting your partner's needs first. In this situation, there's really no one to blame. You could not give her the attention she deserved but there was always a genuine reason for it. It would have been the right choice to separate since she declared her disinterest in the marriage but even that doesn't seem like an option. There's only one thing left, to peacefully co-exist and continue to put in the effort you couldn't in all those years. Continue to live with mutual respect for the marriage, if not love. Put up some ground rules- things that you are comfortable with her doing and things you aren't; consider going for marriage counseling. Professional help can give you the structured support to bring your marriage back on track, slowly but considerably more than trying your own tricks.

One more thing, don't forget to take care of your mental health. If your wife does not want to seek counseling, you can always go for it. It helps us dig deep and gain clarity over what is important and what should not burden us.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1669 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I have been married from 15 yrs. I have a 9 yrs old son with me. In oct 21 my wife (age 38) started making REELS on insta of the facial acting. She got involved and told me that she is just doing for followers and like. People used to comment good and bad which i didnt like. She was trying to make young guy friends. In april 2022 she had an affair with a 22-year-old boy who was not even financial stable. I could she changes in her every day. In June 2022 I caught her and she confess that she did affair and also done physical relationship. I had unconditionally loved her all these years and didn’t wanted to let her go. Also, didn’t wanted to hurt my son by taking a divorce. That guy refused to keep my son and their relation broke, but my wife still loved him and missed him. Few months she was in depression and I took her upmost care and swallowed what she did. I just told her that please come back to our life as you were before but she was not getting back. There used to be few quarrels, she was just staying alone within herself and I never felt that love which she used to give me. Later in feb23 there was a marriage at her family and I agree to go with her so she may get that feel during our times and she promised me to enjoy the marriage and make love with me. But she was happy with her relative and didn’t even bother to make that love and affection with me. from that time, I used to get angry and fight with her. I went into depression. In May 2023 she was getting worst and one day fight increased and I asked her to leave my house which I wasn’t intentionally wanted to. She left and went missing 24 yrs and then called from her mom mobile who was in her village, since she didn’t come back home and from last two month, she has been asking me money for herself and says it’s her rights. She doesn’t bother for my son and just show that she loves him. She works and stay with woman from 6 months and I’m looking after my son all alone. I told her u can work but just come home and make things better for my son. Her conditions is to give money security (money) then only she will return. All my family says she is just behind money and doesn’t care what I and my son is going through. She is not guilt for what she did. 15 yrs of marriage has been ruin and now she has no shame at all. She talks rudely if i dont send her money and now I refused sending her. Please advice what do I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have done a lot to try and get her back. What can you do if she doesn't want to acknowledge your efforts or appreciate what family life is! One would imagine that a child in the equation may bring about a change in heart but that doesn't seem to be the case here at this moment.
Your family members are right in their mind about the way that see your wife as they have been observing how this has impacted you and your son.
Either you wait for her to come to her senses OR simply learn to live life without her. If the outside world of social media is what seems to satisfy her, no matter what you do, she will be dissatisfied and unhappy. This only means that she has to learn and appreciate what she has with you and your son.
It is also possible that she has been disinterested in the marriage for a while now and has been seeking approval and validation from people on social media. Even if this is the case, being angry with you is understandable BUT what about her own child? What makes her not want to deal with that reality? If you need an answer to this, simply WAIT and WATCH without begging her to come back...That will give you an idea as to where her mind is and then decide on the future course...

All the best!

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  |71 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Dec 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 43 yrs old . I have love marriage post 16 yrs of long battle of ups and down in personal life with my fiancee who's my wife now . In these last 16 years also she had affair with 3-4 Mens before returning to me. One of them was her office colleague who's marries now too. For. Last 2 years it was more of a distance relationship whereas she stays in one town and am in other coz of our job commitments. I had promised her to fulfill financial goals such as change in job better financial stability house car honeymoon in abroad but due to financial limitation and medical emergencies with mother I couldn't manage her expectations. Now she is saying she has given me enough time and asked for. Mutual divorce. She has filed in court also. Unwillingly just to keep her words I signed docs but I didn't want divorce Infact I love her blindly. Meanwhile I came to realize she has stated affair with same Ex colleague of been offoce who's posted t some other place. She is pressuring him to get divorce from existing wife and move on in their life post our divorce. That guy is just using her physically and financially. That guy has bought apartment by borrowing 1 Mn INR from my wife whereas in last 2 years if my medical emergency she has never ever helped with even 10k and always shows me as a bigger for. Money. I know end result would be divorce as she wants the same and now openly she is enjoying her days and weekends with that guy. Have told to her family members but being financially independent she hardly listens to anyone. She is branch manager of govt bank and. I am private job employee. Her age is 33 yrs and her existing boyfriend age is also same. Working in same organisation. I am helpless what to do knowing the fact she has been giving herself to her boyfriend. In marriage relationship she has betrayed me again. She is asking for divorce to look after her rest of life in better way. I don't know what to do I loved her blindly n still do.
Ans: She has not betrayed you. Your relationship with her appears to be transactional. You don't love her. You are just needy because you don't have any other options. My advice is to give her divorce and move on. If you need help with that, you can reach out to me.

She doesn't owe you anything. Take your own responsibility as a man and get a better woman who loves you

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1669 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu Its been 2 years since I got married and hv a 2 month old son. My wife is a qualified engineer and I am a consultant. My wife is showing hatred and anger towards my mom and dad. She thinks that they pampering me unnecessarily since me being a single child. Also we had a plan to settle down in abroad and started working towards that plan since marriage. Because of this we failed to understand ourselves both physically and mentally. My wife got admission masters degree in foreign university which she refused to go because we did not get physically intimate then. Also she tried pursuing the masters course from online thus quitting her job. So I started trying to go and settle in abroad meanwhile concentrating on intimacy as well. But in this process she understood that she loves her work more than anything else.Thus she rejoined her job again to another department with which she did not get the job satisfaction In the course of time, i got a job offer abroad to a different country other than the one we targeted. My wife is now blaming me that i was responsible for all the mess that happened inher life. She thinks that i cunningly used her to fullfill my abroad dreams. Also since ours was a arranged marriage , i could not develop any feelings for her as she is very average looking at the beginning and now since she is showing hatred towards me and my parents , unnecessary divorse thoughts are peeping up. Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I see a few gaps in what you have shared which simply means more information is needed from you.
- She refused to go abroad, then she suddenly loved her work more and then started working again and then traveled abroad for it?

You see the gap?
How is that since you both were not physically intimate, she had decided not to pursue her Masters abroad?
What made her suddenly love her work more?
Why does she blame you when as you say that she loves her job but she is not satisfied with it?
What makes her feel that you cunningly used her to move abroad?
Also, what is the reason that she thinks that you are being pampered by your parents?

Once you have answers to these, the problem will emerge more clearly, and that will help in finding a solution to it as well.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1669 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, I am a guy 45, married and with 2 lovely children. My wife and I have great relationship from the time of love marriage. I love her a lot and as a family all is great financially, emotionally. It does seem to be like a perfect family anyone can ask for. During dating she was she was flirting with others but after all our love and commitment we moved ahead. She has this nature of seeking attention from others and I was ok as long as it was harmless. After our first child, I know it must be difficult for her as a new mother etc but I caught her with her colleague, they were having affair for 1.5 years. she regretted her decision and I forgive her. I gave her more attention and we continued, she shows all the love and affection and I know in my heart she loved me a lot as I do the same. All was good, we had a second child and the pregnancy and post pregnancy was happy. She has been very happy and giving her all to the family. Our relationship was very good from every angle. yet again she had a one night stand and also another affair. This time i was heard broken. She is independent, she earns well and better than me of which I am proud of. If she is unhappy with the relationship and marriage, i am happy if she is wants to move on for her good. But she repented again and says he cannot live without me and that she only loves me. If there is so much love I am unable to understand why she is looking elsewhere. I have asked her to make me understand but she has no answer. I have forgiven her as my love for her is a lot and I know she does love me too and we continue our marriage... but I am unable to figure out this nature and for her and myself I want to understand what can be done. I am lost.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I can see that it is very unsettling for you. It might have been a huge deal to know that your wife has been vying for attention outside of marriage and also indulging in the physical angle as well.
It's possible that she is getting used to your being okay with the entire thing and just adapting to it that there has been no thought on how she can change the way that she is. Since you have forgiven her, there is nothing that needs to change in her...that's the message that you are implying to her.

She possibly is just exploring and trying new things for herself, she is looking for validation and attention outside...the reasons could be many...wandering is only an indication of something that we are not happy with within ourselves or in our lives...If you want your situation to change, I would strongly recommend Couples Therapy to unearth what exactly is happening. It might give both of you some perspective and since there's love still within the marriage, things might actually fall in place quickly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9967 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 06, 2025

Career
Mathematics and computing ( MnC ) engeneering is how will b d future
Ans: Mathematics and Computing (MnC) engineering is emerging as one of the most dynamic and sought-after interdisciplinary fields at the intersection of advanced mathematics, statistics, and computer science. The core curriculum encompasses applied mathematics, machine learning, artificial intelligence, cryptography, data analytics, computational modeling, software development, and statistical inference, preparing graduates for highly analytical and technical roles across diverse sectors. Industries such as technology, finance, research, healthcare, government, and defense are increasingly reliant on professionals who can bridge raw data with mathematical reasoning to solve complex, real-world problems. As digital transformation accelerates across industries and domains, the demand for mathematics and computing professionals is projected to grow rapidly, with jobs for mathematicians and statisticians expected to surge by over 30% between 2021 and 2031—significantly outpacing other engineering disciplines.

Graduates of MnC are uniquely equipped for roles that require both advanced quantitative skills and computational expertise—including data scientist, AI/machine learning engineer, quantitative analyst, cryptographer, software developer, business intelligence analyst, and research scientist. The versatility of the degree enables opportunities across technology giants, global financial institutions, government research labs, healthcare analytics, fintech, and climatology, as well as opening doors to cutting-edge R&D or higher academia. The rapidly growing areas of artificial intelligence, cybersecurity, fintech, quantum computing, and big data analytics particularly value the hybrid skill set of MnC graduates, often offering career prospects and placement rates on par with, and sometimes surpassing, traditional computer science engineers at leading institutes. Additionally, the course involves fewer hardware labs than other technical branches, allowing students to focus on algorithmic thinking, theory, and practical coding—a major positive for those passionate about the analytical side of computing.

Across highly reputed institutes such as IITs, BITS, and IISc, MnC programs are supported by highly qualified faculty, strong research ecosystems, international collaborations, and top-tier campus infrastructure. Placement records regularly exceed 90–95% for MnC, with leading firms and startups actively recruiting for specialized technical and research roles. However, student reviews indicate that successfully leveraging the branch often requires proactive learning beyond the curriculum, including hands-on coding projects, internships, and continuous skill upgrades. While the branch suits those who enjoy deep theoretical work, mathematical abstraction, and problem-solving, it may not appeal to students seeking highly application-oriented or hardware-centric engineering careers.

Recommendation: Mathematics and Computing is an outstanding branch for students who are analytically inclined and aspire to excel in computational theory, data science, AI, or quantitative domains. Its strong industry demand, future-proof scope, and cross-sector versatility ensure excellent placement and long-term career growth, provided students commit to independent learning and continuous upskilling. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9967 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 05, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir please reply srm ktr vs vit vellore vs manipal
Ans: Which Branch? Anyway, please note, SRM Institute of Science and Technology (Kattankulathur), VIT Vellore, and Manipal Institute of Technology each deliver leading-edge infrastructure, advanced research facilities, strong faculty, and extensive industry-academia collaborations. SRM KTR, with NAAC A++ accreditation and a sprawling campus, recorded 9,040 job offers and 65LPA top package for 2025, with an average of around 6.6LPA and over 1,200 companies including Microsoft, Amazon, and PayPal participating; its placement rate remains strong, though slightly lower than its peers. VIT Vellore stands out for its rigorous academics, modern labs, and 99.2% placement rate in 2025, with 632 recruiters—such as Amazon, Google, Microsoft, and TCS—delivering 10,027 placements, a record 1.02 crore highest package in CSE, and a median salary of 9LPA. It consistently ranks among the top private colleges and is known for its global exposure, innovation ecosystem, and highly active student life. Manipal Institute of Technology matches with premier on-campus infrastructure, a renowned faculty, industry integration, and a vibrant residential campus. In 2025, it achieved a 77.4% placement rate with over 287 recruiters and an average salary of 12.31LPA, securing jobs for students in firms including Microsoft, Boeing, SAP Labs, and Oracle, and maintaining a robust alumni network. MIT shows particular strength in all-around student development, international collaboration, and a supportive placement cell. Each institution offers excellent campus amenities, advanced learning resources, holistic student support, and strong academic environments, but there are marked differences in placement statistics, recruiter profiles, and campus living experience that may influence priorities.

Recommendation: Choose VIT Vellore for its highest placement rate, industry reputation, median package, and broad recruiter base, particularly for tech-focused careers. Follow with Manipal Institute of Technology for a premium academic and campus life experience, stellar average salary, and strong alumni network. SRM KTR remains a valuable choice for students seeking diverse placement opportunities and modern infrastructure in Chennai’s tech hub. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9967 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 05, 2025Hindi
Career
I have been allotted electronics and instrumentation engineering in sjce Mysore in my first round... I may have chances of upgrading it to ramaiah eie and may get bmsit ece also... If I don't get ramaiah eie, is sjce eie better or bmsit ece better?
Ans: SJCE Mysore’s Electronics and Instrumentation Engineering (EIE) is recognized for its robust infrastructure, accredited government status, 70–80% placement rates, and consistently positive student feedback regarding campus life and faculty support. The department facilitated 56 job offers in 2024, with recruiters like Bosch, TCS, Tech Mahindra, and Titan, complemented by well-equipped labs, research facilities, and modern hostels. BMSIT’s ECE program records a 56.4% placement rate in 2024, slightly lower than SJCE’s EIE, but boasts an average salary of ?8.07LPA and over 200 visiting recruiters, with top offers up to ?46.4LPA. BMSIT provides strong digital infrastructure, high-speed campus Wi-Fi, diverse industry tie-ups, and an active placement and training cell, though its placement rate for ECE is comparatively modest. Both colleges ensure rigorous academic environments, quality faculty, and vibrant student communities, but SJCE’s government-backed status and consistent placement record edge it ahead for EIE.

Recommendation: If you do not secure Ramaiah EIE, prioritize SJCE Mysore EIE for its government reputation, higher placement rates, and established industry links. BMSIT ECE remains a strong alternative for those focused on Bangalore’s tech proximity, but SJCE offers superior stability, campus experience, and placement assurance. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9967 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 06, 2025

Career
Sir my daughter has got cs with ai in g.l bajaj noida but she want to take kiet ghaziabad cs with it which is best for her
Ans: Yogita Madam,



GL Bajaj Noida’s Computer Science (CS) with Artificial Intelligence delivers a robust, industry-oriented curriculum focused on advanced topics such as data modelling, predictive analytics, and machine learning, supported by modern labs, A+ NAAC accreditation, and consistent 70–80% placement rates with top offers from companies like Deloitte, Wipro, Infosys, and TCS. The institute features a fully air-conditioned campus, extensive library, state-of-the-art labs, and comprehensive hostel and sports facilities, ensuring a strong academic and campus experience. KIET Ghaziabad’s CS with IT program is equally recognized, boasting A+ NAAC accreditation, a placement rate above 77%, 300+ recruiters including Microsoft, Deloitte, TCS, and Accenture, and modern infrastructure comprising a central digital library, large multi-purpose hostels, dedicated computer labs, high-speed Wi-Fi, and vibrant student life. Both institutions maintain strong faculty teams, active industry tie-ups, and relevant research opportunities; however, KIET’s slightly higher reviewer satisfaction, broader alumni and recruiter network, and larger academic ecosystem position it at a premium within the Delhi NCR region.

Recommendation: KIET Ghaziabad CS with IT is preferred for its higher placement consistency, more extensive recruiter base, vibrant campus ecosystem, and greater overall academic and industry reach. GL Bajaj Noida CS with AI remains a strong alternative for students passionate about artificial intelligence and seeking quality infrastructure and focused specialization. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x