I would like to be anonymous.
I am 62 years old and my wife is 54 years old. We had had good sex life till two years back.
Presently my wife has no inclination for sex, whereas I have a strong libido and am forced to get relief by masturbation.
Please suggest ways how to reduce my libido or revive my wife’s interest.
Thanks,
Anonymous

Ans: Not a doctor, a relationship therapist. You are acting your age, there’s nothing wrong with craving sexual intimacy from your wife. She is the one who’s addressing the situation wrongly.

Ans: You need to visit a doctor, my friend; her gynaecologist may be able to help you, or refer you to a sex therapist.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sexual compatibility between couples if often a miracle. So, if there is a clear mismatch, there is also clearly a reason behind it. You stated it yourself: Lack of foreplay and your wife being overweight. So, take care of the foreplay part...what stops you from indulging in active foreplay that will get her going? There is no need to jump into the act and then complain about her not being interested in sex.
- Instead change course and pay attention to foreplay.
- Also, indulge in a lot of non-sexual forms of intimacy like cuddling, hugging etc that helps her connect with you at an emotional level and this could give way to the act.
- Pay her compliments and every once in a while surprise her with little gifts. It validates her presence and importance within the marriage.
The point that I am making is: shift focus on non-sexual intimacy first before jumping into the 'sex' part. You will see that, that bonding helps sexual compatibility.

The other part on her being overweight could also be a challenge as it can affect the way she perceives herself besides ill-health that can impact sex life greatly. Gently coax her into working out/exercising everyday with a good nutrition plan which will go a long way in not just physical fitness but an overall well-being in all areas of life. If it helps, the two of you can look at this together and make 'couple goals' to fitness and compatibility. It can keep both of you motivated and also encourage a good bond as well.

And oh! Please do not count the number of times you actually have sex. There's no competition and no medals awarded...Please bond better first...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Erection not being there could be due to a physical ailment OR it could very well be the religious sentiment playing on your mind.
Find out which of the two.
Anyway, if you have decided that the religious belief must be upheld, there is little that is going to change. Either your wife accept your belief OR you need to overcome your belief.
Sit down and talk about it and then decide; it will a joint decision with no room for misunderstandings.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/