I would like to be anonymous.
I am 62 years old and my wife is 54 years old. We had had good sex life till two years back.
Presently my wife has no inclination for sex, whereas I have a strong libido and am forced to get relief by masturbation.
Please suggest ways how to reduce my libido or revive my wife’s interest.
Thanks,
Anonymous

Ans: Dear Naveen,
You can make your sex life smooth by not focusing much on it.
Yes; focus instead on how to bond better as a couple.
For a woman, what happens within the bedroom is directly dependent on what happens outside of it. A lot of emotional connect where she feels wanted, loved, valued, cherished is where you should be spending time and raising feelings in.
Here's what you can do if you haven't done these already:
1. Spend time as a couple going on dates, vacations and more
2. Indulge in common interests together
3. Offer to help out with household chores not just over the weekends
4. Pamper her with not just gifts but encouraging her to spend time with her friends
5. Connect better with her side of the family as well
6. If you have children, offer to be more hands-on raising them
7. Indulge in non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, cuddling, kissing...

This does not directly impact your sex life but it helps you connect with your wife better where she feels nurtured enough to want to give back more into the relationship; intimacy being one of them!

All the best!

Ans: You need to visit a doctor, my friend; her gynaecologist may be able to help you, or refer you to a sex therapist.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Intimacy for a man and women are very different and varied as well.
You cannot NOT connect during the week at an emotional level and then expect your wife to be excited to jump in bed. That's not how it works!
Both of you work which means weekends do get busy with household chores, children and more...there's very little time and energy left for intimate moments.
On your wife's part, she has not learned as yet to leave office work at the office but certainly what to cook for the next day is a huge task if this depends only on her. Why don't the two of you pitch in to distribute the household work between you? That way she does not feel burdened (if she does feel that way)...this also goes a long way in letting her know that you care and you want to help her...
You could also talk about how you can steal some moments after office and before you reach home by meeting at a cafe and sharing time over a cup of coffee. This definitely will make your wife feel more connected and emotionally secure which is a start point to easing of your sexual relationship.
Basically, get back to the dating scene and make your relationship a priority. A great sexual life is a product of the connection that a couple share outside the bedroom and the willingness on the part of the couple to make that happen.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/