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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |25 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 27, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025

I am a 44 year old punjabi woman who is in a relationship with a 46 year old man. It is just a month old relationship. He cares and shows affection. During one of our casual talks recently, he jokingly yet strongly told in some context that no one would ever want to get married to a punjabi. I did not like his remark and expressed my disappointment/anger. He apologised couple of times for his big mouth however I am now unsure if his strong opinion can affect our relationship and if I should proceed or not. Please guide.

Ans: Hello mam.
I can see that you felt disappointed by his comment by as you said that he said it in a casual way...Just sot patiently and think about it. May be you should give some more time to your relationship. With time, you will be able to understand him more. And then it will be easy for you to decide for your relationship. Till then forget the thing and give him a fair chance to prove himself. I hope this works for you. You can get back to me anytime you feel like discussing anything.
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1576 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi
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Im a 21 years old telugu girl and my boyfriend is 34 yrs tamil guy. He's smart, good looking and well settled. My family doesn't support for love marriage. He's the best and gentleman i ever dated. He cares for me and supports me and intendes to marry me after a year. He's ready to talk to my parents about us but im afraid. My family is orthodox and conventional. They strictly follow the traditional values, castes and customs etc. Apart from this, age gap is a big issue as well. I dont want to disappoint my parents as well as my boyfriend. Whenever i say that our relationship doesn't work, he gets mood off and avoids to talk about it further. He's saying that he'll take of everything when the right time comes of. I dont know what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Someone will be disappointed; so learn to deal with that...
An ideal life where everyone is happy around you is an unrealistic expectation.
So, let your boyfriend talk to your parents...yes, your parents may disapprove, and if they do, figure out how you are going to tackle that. if you have boyfriend who is moody, know that he is at an age where he is not interested in drama and wants things to go a particular way. Is he willing to be patient through your parents' disapproval and work with it? Make sure to let him know that avoiding a topic, upsets you and watch how he reacts to it.

Also, have you thought of your future? You are 21...where is your career in all of this? Do focus on that as well...It will help you steady your mind and instill a lot of confidence to deal with challenges.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I would like to stay anonymous. Im 27F, recently got engaged and my wedding is in 5 months from now. This match is arranged by my parents within our community. Initially things went well, but after the engagement when we went outside for dinner he was speaking well but before leaving he said this is a suggestion from my end and told that there is slight space between my two teeth in the front and while smiling it creates black image in the photos. So it would be best if i would use invisible aligners so that before wedding it would be fixed adding to this he said he will take care of the expenses and he said he had this thought for a week so its better to disclose it with me. He also said that he didn't tell this to his parents he wanted to check my thoughts on this first, also he said he wanted myself to look very very pretty on the wedding and his relatives should say "Wow, we have never seen such a pretty bride", also he commented about my hair being short actually its medium length but i like to keep my hair short. I really got frustrated when he said all those things this got me very irritated. I didn't speak much, i said i wanted to leave and he dropped me at my place. The next day i asked him if we can meet again to get clarification on this thing, when i asked him the next day about this he said "its just a suggestion if you can take it its fine or you can leave it its upto you". He never accepted that he hurted me or made a wrong statement he kept on saying he didn't mean that way i took it very personally and im creating unnecessary ruckus. at last he said i could have said things differently but he didn't ask for sorry at all. I thought he wont talk about my features again but then after a week he again asked me you were eating outside food for a week you should have gained weight(trying to be funny here), i said no. Because him and his mother already asked about my weight like "why are you so thin? you could have put up some weight know"? I have been in this weight for many years, how much ever i eat my weight remains the same its because of the genetics. But people dont understand this and easily ask some body shaming questions. After this event he is not talking like before and even i dont push him, one of my friend asked me to take initiative and make calls to stop this awkward situation and i took lead called him four times in a week he spoke but he didn't bothered to call me again he was only texting after that too im okay with that but still i feel he might ask me to make changes in my feature, weight etc before the wedding. Im not sure how to deal with this.
Ans: When someone loves and accepts you, they don’t focus on “fixing” things about you to meet external standards, whether it’s for wedding photos or to impress relatives. His insistence that you should look “very, very pretty” for others’ approval shows that his priorities might not align with yours. You weren’t looking for a makeover; you were looking for a life partner who values you for who you are.

His response when you tried to talk about it also speaks volumes. Instead of acknowledging your feelings and reassuring you, he dismissed your concerns, making it seem like you were overreacting. A partner who truly cares would have listened, understood why you felt hurt, and taken responsibility for how his words affected you. Instead, he shifted the blame onto you for "creating unnecessary ruckus," which shows a lack of emotional maturity.

The weight comments, too, are unnecessary and inconsiderate. Genetics determine body type, and no one should feel the need to change themselves to meet someone else’s expectations. His family’s remarks about your weight, combined with his attitude, suggest that this won’t stop after the wedding. If they’re already making you feel self-conscious now, imagine the expectations and unsolicited “suggestions” that might continue in the future.

The distance that has formed between you both after this conversation isn’t just about awkwardness—it’s about emotional disconnection. A strong relationship is built on respect, comfort, and mutual appreciation, not on one person feeling judged and the other acting indifferent. The fact that you had to take the lead in calling him multiple times, while he didn’t reciprocate the effort, says a lot. A healthy relationship should feel mutual, not one-sided.

Right now, you need to ask yourself: Can you truly be yourself in this relationship, or will you constantly feel pressured to meet his and his family’s expectations? Do you feel emotionally safe with him, or do you feel like you have to defend your choices, your body, and your appearance?

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and your peace of mind matters. If his attitude is already making you question yourself and feel frustrated, you have every right to reconsider. You don’t need to “deal” with this by adjusting to his expectations—you need to decide if this is the kind of relationship you want to spend your life in.

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Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |2155 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Apr 01, 2025

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My Son is in now in 12th Std and is preparing to answer NEET-UG in 2027. He is studying in Integrated Coaching Academy from 11th Std onwards. Although he is getting through the coaching classes and Self Studies, would like to know your expert advise to Follow the Study pattern to score good marks.
Ans: Hello Sanjay Ji
Below is my advice, please check if you find it helpful
Create a Structured Study Plan
Daily Routine: Ensure he follows a well-planned timetable covering all three subjects—Biology, Physics, and Chemistry—every day.

Balance Coaching & Self-Study: Coaching provides guidance, but self-study is where actual learning happens. He should revise daily what was taught in class.

Fixed Study Hours: At least 6-8 hours of effective self-study beyond coaching hours.

Subject-Wise Strategy

Biology (50% weightage, high-scoring)
NCERT is key—revise line by line.
Make short notes for revision.
Diagrams & flowcharts for quick recall.
Solve MCQs from previous years and coaching materials.

Chemistry
Physical: Focus on formulas and problem-solving techniques.
Inorganic: Memorization is essential—use mnemonics and charts.
Organic: Understand reaction mechanisms, practice conversions, and focus on named reactions.

Physics
Strengthen concepts—don’t just memorize formulas.
Derivations help in understanding applications.
Solve numerical problems daily, especially from HC Verma, DC Pandey, or coaching materials.
Work on previous years’ NEET Physics questions.

Practice & Revision
Regular Tests: Take topic-wise, chapter-wise, and full-length mock tests.
Time Management: Solve NEET papers within 3 hours to simulate exam conditions.
Error Analysis: After every test, analyze mistakes and avoid repeating them.
Revision Strategy: Use the Feynman technique—explain concepts to yourself or someone else.

Mental & Physical Well-being
Avoid Burnout: Take short breaks
Healthy Lifestyle: Proper sleep (6-8 hours), exercise, and a balanced diet.
Stay Motivated: Have a vision board of goals, track progress, and maintain a positive mindset.

Hope you find this helpful.

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IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Apr 01, 2025

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IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Apr 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 01, 2025Hindi
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BIT Mesra CSE or NIT Raipur CSE what to choose?
Ans: Hi
Between BIT Mesra CSE and NIT Raipur CSE, here’s a comparison based on key factors:

1. Academics & Reputation:
BIT Mesra has a strong reputation for CSE, with a well-structured curriculum and good faculty.

NIT Raipur is an NIT, which holds a national-level prestige, but its CSE department is not as highly ranked as top-tier NITs.

2. Placements:
BIT Mesra CSE has excellent placements, with higher average and median packages compared to NIT Raipur. Top companies like Google, Amazon, Microsoft, and Goldman Sachs visit the campus. The average package is around 18–20 LPA, and the highest goes above 50 LPA.

NIT Raipur CSE has decent placements, but the average package (8–10 LPA) is lower compared to BIT Mesra.

3. Campus & Infrastructure:
BIT Mesra has a better campus, labs, and infrastructure compared to NIT Raipur.

NIT Raipur is improving, but its facilities are still developing.

4. Alumni Network & Brand Value:
BIT Mesra has a strong alumni network with good industry connections, especially in tech.

NIT Raipur, being an NIT, offers the NIT tag, which helps for government job preferences but isn’t as strong in CSE placements compared to BIT Mesra.

5. Coding Culture & Competitions:
BIT Mesra has an excellent coding culture, with students excelling in ICPC and open-source projects.

NIT Raipur has an average coding culture, but motivated students can still do well.

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Choose BIT Mesra CSE if your priority is better placements, infrastructure, and coding culture.
Choose NIT Raipur CSE if you strongly prefer the NIT tag and government job advantages.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1576 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 01, 2025

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Relationship
I am in relationship with a girl for 6 year but now her parents almost fix her arrange marriage and they dont care about her choice they didnot even consider her opinion about the boy they met ..except her everyone in family like the boy because he is rich and handling his father business and here i am i dont have job i am preparing for government job i asked her family please give me some time i,ll get the job this year but they say we cant agree for the possibility of you getting job or not and her mother say we dont allow intercaste marriage i am sc and she is general and pandit .. i am 26year old what should i do .. i think ab uske parents jada jaldi krre hai shadi k loye because unhone merse baat krli to unko dhr hai ki m kuch esa vsa na krdu jisse unki society me respect vghra ko khtra hoga isliye or vo jada rishtedaro ki sunre hai... mne apni gf ko bola hai ki filhal jb tk job nhi lgti meri tb tk unhe boldo ki mere sath ab kuch nhi h that she blocks me or vo apni side se tb tk rishtey ko mna krti rhe pr uske ghr vale uska opinion about boy consider hi ni krre hai jo unke rishtedaro ne discuss krliya ladka thik h to unhone usko haan boldi ... mujhe kya krna chaiye...her parents do all emotional blackmail to her as today they even touched her feet and said hme pta h tere liye kya shi h hmne tko pala h kuch bhi esa nhi krdio jisse hmari ijat khrab hojaye m pagal hojaunga Esi dhamkiya dere h ... or usko b kse jo rishte are h unko mna kre jisse ye na lge ghr valo ko ki mere karan naa kre jare h or rishtedaro ka b dominance kse km kre bhot sare doubts h kya krna chaiye kuch nhi smjh ara h
Ans: Dear solar,
In sab ke beech, aapke girlfriend ka kya kehna hai? Woh aapne bataaya nahin. Kya woh apne parents ko tall sakegi aur kitni der kar paayegi? Kya woh aapke jon lagne tak intezzar karna chahti hai? Aisa lag raha hai ki is rishte ka wazan aap leke ghoom rake ho...thoda apne girlfriend ke saath baithkar plan kijiye taaki woh bhi aapke saath is samasya ka hal dhoond sake.
Ek baat toh hai ki uske parents ko manaana mushkil hoga aur jab tak aapki job nahin lagti woh is rishte ke liye raazi nahin honge. Toh plan yeh karna ki jab tak aapki naukri lage, tab tak aap dono is baat ko aur is samasaya ko aur uske parents ko kaise sambhalenge. Joh bhi ho saath mein milke plan karna.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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