Seeking Guidance: 39-Year-Old in Difficult Marriage, Seeking to Marry Divorced Woman

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No man would want to be where you are; seriously!
Now, how you got yourself in this mess is anybody's guess...but for the sake of your family (things are going well for you), make a decision that works best for everyone; at least in the long term. (It is ethically not right for me to make a decision for you).

It maybe unfair to either of the women and you are going to have to bear the consequences...
Now, I am not judging you or what you have done but you obviously knew all along that being in love with the other lady was a choice...also, now the expectation that she has from you is something that is uncomfortable to you.
Did she ever get this message from you that if she divorced her husband, that you will also divorce your wife and join her?
More than love, this has become neediness with demands...

Bottom line: Make a decision, stick by it and also help either of them tide over this! You owe them both that!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is difficult to stay in an unhappy marriage. It also seems to me that you already know that you have to legally separate from your wife before you move on to another relationship. I would suggest consulting a divorce lawyer to get a better idea of the whole process. You should also have an open discussion with the woman you are in love with about your financial condition. She should have a clear picture of whom she's marrying. Let me also remind you to be very careful about your dealings and not rush into anything because both of you have young and impressionable kids. They should not have to suffer.
I hope everything works out well for you.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Since your wife initially agreed to the divorce but is now refusing and staying in your house, the situation has become more complicated. In such cases, the best course of action is to proceed through legal channels. Before taking any legal steps, consider attempting reconciliation or mediation. Sometimes, involving trusted family members or neutral third parties can help reach a mutual agreement. If that doesn’t work, consult a qualified family lawyer who can guide you through the divorce process according to the laws in your jurisdiction. They can provide the best legal advice based on the specific circumstances of your case. If mutual consent isn’t possible, you may need to file for a contested divorce by stating valid legal grounds. Your lawyer will help you prepare the necessary documents and represent you in court. Even if she stays in your house, it won’t stop the legal proceedings. Stay calm and patient, as divorce cases can take time.