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Mohit

Mohit Arora  |42 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Mohit Arora is a relationship coach, image consultant, soft skills trainer and the founder of Real Dating School. He has a BTech degree in computer science from the Rayat & Bahra Institute of Engineering and Biotechnology, Mohali, Punjab. He has been conducting customised skilling and communication workshops since 2014.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

we have 3 yrs of relationship and in that frm 2 yrs we are in long distance we have great bondings ,no issue on that but the major issue taht we have no future becos he belongs to bhramin family his family is very strict not accept intercaste marriage and also they dont want him to move out of house . right now he is pursuing mbbs and i am pursuing computer science . i live in bangalore as u know its tech hub and best place for me for career but he will make future in gujarat he is telling me to come over there after marriage still we have lot time to think but he dont want to hang me in middle of the situation as he is not able to promise me that he will make it work 100% . He now every time telling me ki if u come to gujarat then only it will work and convince his family and some time he tells me that even if u come their might be my parents not fully accept u and tell u something rudely and all stuffs as i belong to general and may be u will regret for ur career also . what should i do should i compromise my career and do remote job or stay in some small company just for him or otherwise leave him? even i have great fear of not getting any soulmate after this becos as my experiences my elder sisters and brothers are still dint get their perfect partners its hard to get married to unknown i know i am overthinking at this stage but am confuse. i also dont have much frnd to talk about my prsnl problems .its been 2 yrs i have been through my personal loss and family problems also some times i am in pain getting sucidal thoughts its not for the relationships .Please help me with this .

Ans: Tel him to step up as a man and decide. You don't need a soul mate. The one you are seeking is yourself. Choose to be financially strong..
Asked on - Apr 28, 2024 | Answered on Apr 29, 2024
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He is not stepping up he is telling I will take care of my parents and do my work only if u will come I will go against my parents it might be after that possiblites are still there that they might not treat u well.If u ask me i want a different life from this as I live in it hub the culture is totally different I want to live freely without this family issues and travel the world , explore new thing and also focus on career . But I am finding that he might not give me that life also as I said there is no job scope their for me so should I live him becos of this is it fair enough ?
Ans: Yes.. so move on. You'll find another better guy. Remeber - 'Freedom is the highest value'

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2022

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Relationship
 Hi Anu Ji,I am in a relationship with a guy from one year who is from a different state and different background. I am from north and he is from South. As of now the relationship is perfect when we both are together but I am stressed about my future as this guy had warned me that future is very difficult due to family issues and all. Our relationship also started on a very different note. We were close friends for a few years and then got close over a few incidents. I have gone out all the way to put my efforts in the relation because it looked picture perfect what I was creating. He has given me no promises of the future telling things are very different in our state. Earlier he used to ask me to be casual, but both of us know that my nature is not casual, he has apologised also feeling that he is wasting my time.He also asked if I want to look for a proper marriage partner.. all his words show this and makes me scared that in future we will be separated.On the contrary his actions are so sweet and romantic. Multiple times I thought I should think straight and leave but I guess I am too attached and so is he.My parents keep on pushing for rishtas as I am in prime age to be married, and I am only delaying this because of this guy, what should I do? Why are his actions and words not in sync. I have also informed my parents about him. If he is not willing to take it forward he should leave me and go na. Why should I initiate any breakup when I like my life with him.Help me with ways to talk sense into this guy so that he has courage to take us up at his home and family.Any guidance will be helpful. Please keep it anonymous.
Ans:

Dear SS,

When his words and actions are not in sync, what exactly are you pushing for?

Are you hoping for him to see things your way? He seems to have made it clear that he wants this to be casual.

It could be one of two things:
1. He isn’t ready for a commitment as of now
2. He isn’t ready to stir the hornet’s nest back at home and face the music

Either case, this is holding you up and your movement in life. Why do that?

Ask yourself:

  • How long do I want to wait for a strong commitment from him? After which, you most certainly must move ahead
  • Will he ever be able to convince his parents of this relationship? Now, if it’s a NO, you know what to do
  • How fair is it to keep my life on hold for him? – If it’s a NO, check what is this hold up costing you this very moment

Please have an honest discussion with him on how this is affecting you and what you exactly want.

Take a call based on his responses and his involvement in the discussion that concerns the future of your relationship.

Best wishes and take charge NOW.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |183 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ma'am, I have been in a relationship for almost a decade now i.e. since graduation and now me and my bf are doing good in our respective jobs. Since we come from different religions, we have been trying to convince our family very much for last two years to let us happen and get married and in these scenarios during covid I lost my father too now that it's just me and my mom and my elder sister due to societal pressure also they were not agreeing for us but then I could feel now that his family was some how just dragging us showing fake acceptance for me but still being very orthodox but in this process me and my bf got committed to each other very seriously in terms of physical ways but now his family is completely denying the fact that they don't us to happen and are literally forcing his son to marry in their caste. On this thing, the guy is trying to make me understand with false accusations that it's not his family butine which doesn't want us to proceed since my family wanted a mutual ways of marriage and not just his culture thing or else court marriage was the last opt but my guy is saying no I can never go against my family this and that you better understand and I don't know I'm feeling very cheated that now at this stage after being this close where he should have been standing strong with me he's pushing me to set back I don't know iam so clueless I got no energy to get back to being productive in my life or something whereas this acts of his and his family's forcible nature is somehow triggering me to opt for legal methods....I need guidance it's all dark for me and feeling too used.
Ans: Hello Dear,
I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your relationship. It's a complex and emotionally charged situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling hurt and confused It's okay to take some time for self-reflection and self-care. Understand and acknowledge your emotions before making any decisions. Give yourself the space to process the situation and its impact on your well-being. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Share your concerns, fears, and expectations. Encourage him to express his feelings and concerns as well. Effective communication is crucial at this stage. Reflect on your priorities and values in a relationship. Consider whether the current situation aligns with what you envision for your future. Be honest with yourself about what you need and deserve in a partnership. If you're contemplating legal steps, it's advisable to seek legal advice to understand the implications and options available to you. Consult with a lawyer who can provide guidance based on your specific situation and laws. While it's crucial to address the relationship concerns, also focus on your personal growth and well-being. Pursue activities that bring you joy, engage in self-improvement, and consider your long-term goals. Assess whether the relationship is healthy and supportive. Consider whether both partners are willing to work through challenges and make compromises for the well-being of the relationship. Establish clear boundaries for yourself. Determine what you are willing to accept and what you cannot tolerate in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being. If both families are open to it, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor who can facilitate discussions and help find common ground. Mediation can be a constructive way to address conflicts and find solutions.
Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it's important to evaluate whether it's a healthy and fulfilling partnership for you. it's okay to seek professional help or legal advice if needed. Making decisions about your future can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you find it difficult to navigate these issues on your own, seeking guidance from professionals or supportive friends can make a significant difference.

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |64 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello mam , we are in relationship of total 3 yrs in which long distance is for 2 years we both have their colleges in different state now question arises to our mind about future that we both no we will do job in same location where we study we we both can't compromise to go to any other states as there is less opportunity as we both are in different field this is one of the problem and other is his parents are so strict and belongs to bhramin family they don't accept intercaste marriage even he don't want to step out from his home as he want to take care of his parents .and we are very sure that we don't want to compromise our careers . So how our marriage is possible ? Should we have to leave each other prior to the day comes or is there any solution to it which we both can compromise ??
Ans: Hmmm lets simplify this, what would you tell your friend if she comes and tells you that she has met someone wonderful BUT his parents will not accept her and he will make no efforts to make it work...I am assuming you will tell her to put this relationship on hold for sometime...which means putting it on hold with no interaction, stopping all interactions - giving him space and time to think about it...do this for 6 months to 12 months, this does not mean dating someone else. Here he needs to find a solution, if he does its a win-win, if he does not then he may not be someone she may wish to be in a relationship with...and in the meantime you are likely to ask her to focus on her career. My response to your query will be on the same lines.

..Read more

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Chocko

Chocko Valliappa  |209 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Entrepreneur, Educationist - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Career
Sir i am a civil engineer graduate 2023 i did my graduation in civil engineering from a tire 2 -3 college from mumbai university . I didn’t get any job its not like that i am dum student or else i was not good at studies u definitely found partility that in civil they took all diploma + degree holders with less knowledge also in companies such a worley , godrej , technimont etc mnc companies with salary of 6-7 lpa but sir i was scattered because i lost my dad in covid my mom is working but her salary is just 50k and now after trying out for jobs as fresher i found a job in IIT bombay as project technical assistant which gives me 30k but its in ocean department. Now i want to learn further i am seeing people doing masters from priavte university like nicmar adani symbiosis etc in construction or infrastructure management. I am stuck jn life what to do im trying for government but i know government junior engineers job wont pay me much to buy home for my mom . In such case what will be best please help
Ans: I fully empathize with your situation. Do focus on the positive of having completed BTech in Civil Engineering. Civil Engineering is the foundational engineering discipline and lends itself to use of new tools and technologies through use of of software to build structures using design elements that use newer materials to build infrastructure, homes, industrial townships that further sustainability. Use your current Tech Asstt job to learn about Oceanography as an added skills. Look at acquiring project management skills and explore opportunities with optimism and passion.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Money
I want to invest Rs. 1 lac lumpsum yearly in mutual funds for my children for the next 15 years. What kind of funds will be apt? (I will increase the lumpsum amount by 10% yearly).
Ans: Given your goal of investing a lump sum of Rs. 1 lakh annually for your children's future over the next 15 years, with a planned 10% increase in the investment amount each year, let's devise an investment strategy tailored to your objectives.
Considering the long investment horizon and the goal of wealth accumulation for your children, a diversified portfolio of mutual funds with a focus on growth potential and risk management would be appropriate. Here's a suggested allocation:
1. Equity Funds: Allocate a significant portion of your investment towards equity funds to capitalize on the potential for higher returns over the long term. Opt for a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds to diversify across market segments and mitigate risk. These funds offer exposure to quality stocks with strong growth prospects and can help in wealth creation over time.
2. Debt Funds: Incorporate debt funds into your portfolio to provide stability and reduce overall volatility. Debt funds invest in fixed-income securities such as government bonds, corporate bonds, and money market instruments. They offer steady income streams and can act as a buffer during periods of market turbulence. Consider allocating a portion of your investment to debt funds to balance risk and optimize returns.
3. Balanced Funds: Balanced funds, also known as hybrid funds, combine equity and debt instruments in a single portfolio. These funds offer a balanced approach to investing, providing growth potential from equity exposure while offering downside protection through debt allocation. Including balanced funds in your portfolio can help in achieving stable returns while managing risk effectively.
4. Children's Funds: Some mutual funds are specifically designed for children's education or future needs. These funds typically have longer investment horizons and may offer unique features such as lock-in periods or dedicated investment strategies tailored to children's goals. Exploring children's funds can provide a focused approach to investing for your children's future needs.
Regularly review your investment portfolio and adjust your allocations as needed to stay aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Additionally, consider seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to customize your investment strategy based on your specific circumstances and objectives.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2024Hindi
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Money
I have about 40 lakhs in equity MF, 40 lakhs in pf. Currently making 1 lakh SIP per month. In hand salary is 3.25 lakh/month. I plan to purchase a house worth 1.5 Cr. I'll soon get a lump sum amount of 60 lakhs. Should I use that to pay larger upfront for the house or invest it to pay future payment from returns? I am 37 yrs old male. Monthly expense is about 1 lakh inclusive of rent.
Ans: Here's a breakdown of your situation to help you decide whether to use the lump sum for a larger down payment or invest for future EMIs:

Factors to Consider:

Down Payment Impact: A larger down payment reduces your loan amount, leading to lower interest payments overall. This can save you a significant amount of money in the long run.

Investment Potential: Investing the lump sum could potentially generate returns that help cover future EMIs. However, market performance is not guaranteed.

Emergency Fund: Ensure you have a sufficient emergency fund after using the lump sum (ideally 3-6 months of living expenses).

Risk Tolerance: Investing the lump sum involves market risks. Consider your comfort level with potential fluctuations.

Here are two approaches to consider:

Option 1: Larger Down Payment:

Use a significant portion of the lump sum (say 40-50 lakhs) for a larger down payment. This can bring down your loan amount substantially, reducing your overall interest burden.
Invest the remaining amount (20-30 lakhs) to potentially generate additional income or create a buffer for future expenses.
Option 2: Invest and Pay EMIs:

Invest the entire lump sum (60 lakhs) in a diversified portfolio to potentially generate returns that can cover future EMIs.
This frees up your monthly income for other expenses or investments. However, market performance can impact returns.
Here are some additional thoughts:

Interest Rates: Compare current home loan interest rates with the potential returns you might expect from your investments.
Debt Management: Consider your overall debt situation. A larger down payment can improve your debt-to-income ratio, potentially making you eligible for better loan terms.
Professional Advice: Consulting a financial advisor can help you create a personalized plan considering your risk tolerance, financial goals, and investment horizon.
Here's a quick summary of your financial situation:

Strong Savings: With Rs. 40 lakh in MFs, Rs. 40 lakh in PF, and a Rs. 1 lakh monthly SIP, you have a solid savings foundation.
High Income: Your in-hand salary of Rs. 3.25 lakh per month provides significant financial flexibility.
House Purchase: Aiming for a Rs. 1.5 crore house indicates a long-term investment plan.

Ultimately, the decision should align with your risk tolerance, financial goals, and overall financial plan. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific circumstances, helping you make informed decisions to achieve your objectives.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Money
Hi, I am 36 years old, married & have 1 child (3 year old). Me & wife have combined income from salary of 3.75 lakh post taxes. We are investing in following funds & have investment horizon of more than 15 years. Aditya BSL Pure Value - 2k DSP Value Fund - 4k HDFC Small Cap - 2K Kotak business cycle - 5k Kotak Emerging Equity fund - 2K Motilal Oswal large and Midcap - 10k Bandhan Core Equity - 2k Baroda BNP India Consumption - 3k Franklin India Prima - 4k HDFC Mid Cap Opportunity - 2k HSBC Small Cap - 5k Nippon India Flexi Cap - 7.5 SBI small cap - 4k White Oak capital Large and Mid - 7.5k ICICI prudential India opportunity -10k NPS - 15K Equity Market - 25K SGB - 15K LIC -10K. I'm looking for the same investment till next 15 years. Definitely will increase the MF amount every year. I'm looking for at least 20+ Cr corpus at the age of 55. Please guide me with the existing investment. Total Liability like Home Loan and Top up loan EMI is 42K. I want to make same EMI for Loan and future surplus amount to be invest in equity market with low risk as I'm moving towards early 40s.
Ans: Based on your investment portfolio and financial goals, let's evaluate your current strategy. You've made a commendable effort in diversifying your investments across various mutual funds and other instruments, aiming for a substantial corpus in the next 15 years. Your commitment to increasing your mutual fund investments annually is a wise move, considering the potential for wealth accumulation over time.

However, let's delve into a few considerations. While your investment horizon is long-term, it's prudent to periodically review your portfolio's performance and adjust it according to changing market conditions and your evolving financial situation. With increasing age and responsibilities, it's natural to prioritize stability and lower risk in your investments.

You've mentioned a desire to maintain your current loan EMIs while directing surplus funds towards equity markets with lower risk. This approach aligns with a conservative yet growth-oriented investment strategy, balancing the need for stability with wealth creation potential. As you move towards your early 40s, this cautious approach can provide a cushion against market volatility while still capturing growth opportunities.

While your current portfolio includes a diverse mix of actively managed mutual funds, it's important to acknowledge the disadvantages of solely relying on actively managed funds. These can include higher expense ratios and the possibility of underperformance compared to benchmark indices. However, the benefits of active management, such as the potential for outperformance and flexibility in portfolio construction, justify their inclusion in your investment strategy.

In conclusion, your commitment to long-term wealth creation is admirable. By maintaining a disciplined approach to investing, periodically reviewing your portfolio, and balancing risk and growth opportunities, you're on track to achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Money
Hi sir, greetings. Am 46 years old and have recently got a lumpsum amount of around 15 lakhs and want to invest them with a time horizon of around 15+ years. Please suggest me a portfolio for the same. In case if you suggest me to invest the amount in a split manner in the next 1-2 year duration, is it ok to leave the amount in the Savings account (have an option to get 7% per annum in one of the private sector banks) or any other suggestion in this regard please ?
Ans: Congratulations on receiving a lump sum of 15 lakhs! It's an opportunity to strengthen your financial position and work towards your long-term goals.

Considering your time horizon of 15+ years, you have the advantage of investing for the long term, allowing your investments to potentially grow significantly over time.

As a Certified Financial Planner, I would recommend a diversified portfolio that balances growth potential with risk management. This could include a mix of equity, debt, and other asset classes to spread risk and capture growth opportunities.

Leaving the entire amount in a savings account, even with a 7% interest rate, may not be the most prudent choice for long-term wealth accumulation. While it provides safety and liquidity, the returns may not outpace inflation, resulting in a loss of purchasing power over time.

Instead, consider investing the lump sum gradually over the next 1-2 years to benefit from cost averaging and reduce the impact of market volatility. You could divide the amount into smaller portions and invest them systematically at regular intervals.

For the portion not immediately invested, a high-yield savings account or a short-term debt fund could be considered to earn a better return than a traditional savings account while maintaining liquidity.

Remember, investing involves risk, and it's crucial to align your investment strategy with your risk tolerance and financial goals. Regular reviews with your Certified Financial Planner can help ensure your portfolio remains on track to meet your objectives.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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