Hi, I am 28. Recently I was searching for some documents in my younger sister phone (she is 22) and I did not intended to, but I noticed she chat with a guy which was very sexual. My mind is very disturbed from the very moment. I thought of discussing this with Maa but I don't want to involve in this as this could make her uncomfortable. Am I overthinking or is this something common that we can find in girls of this age? I am also worried that she should not do anything which could bring a disgrace to our family. How can I resolve this?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Deal with this very carefully as if you reprimand or object to this, she is only going to rebel even more.
Kindly involve her mother into this.
Encourage her to talk about it without judging her or instructing her on what to do. I am sure she is already terrified of the boy's threats of blackmailing.
Also, have you considered of reporting this to the cops? Most parents don't want to as they are worried about the consequences their daughters have to go through. But, how else can these 'creeps' be stopped.

With a lot of love and support from you, your daughter will regain strength to realize that she had made some poor choices and that she has the choice now to rework all of them to pave a better path to walk on. You don't have to tell her what to do as she already knows it. She is just scared...
Just support and love her; instructions can wait...though your anxieties I am sure is hitting the roof. But, remember, everything works when people are surrounded with love. Your daughter simply needs this right NOW.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
'Call chat'?
Why not an 'in-person' chat? Is she away in a hostel or boarding school? If YES, kindly drop everything and be with her.
Surely, she's seeking attention from the other gender like any other teen at this age but what alarms me is the fact that she is callous in her attitude towards the entire episode. Defending her stance only means that she is in unwanted company and is justifying her behaviour as 'fitting in with peers'.
Handle this with butter fingers; give some-take some...yelling and complaining and trying to make her feel guilty is only going to make her repeat her behaviour so that she proves you right...
Spend quality time with her filling it with love, attention and support which is what she is perhaps seeking outside. This can be helped by seeking a professional who has experience handling adolescent behavioural challenges. Surely, this is her way of fitting in and experimenting but something that is also filling in an inadequacy. I cannot be sure of this, but just sharing from my experience of handling adolescents. So, first drop everything and be with her. Give her even more love that will tell her that her parents will be with her no matter what! Yeah, long lectures don't work at that age...SIGH...
This actually makes them question their choices and get back on the right path...And please do seek the help of a professional at the earliest...

All the best!

Ans: You can gently talk to her about her feelings and emotions. How she feels about her classmates and talk about boys as being friends. When you talk to her from a non judgemental space, she will be more open to receive from you.