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Should I let go of my boyfriend who's hesitant about our inter-caste relationship?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |616 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Sep 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Sir, am a 28 years old IT employee and my lover is 29 with the same profession. We have informed our love with our parents and we both belong to different castes. As we are different castes, his family is not supporting our love. His mom is very adamant and his entire family is against us. My mom is a government employee and my father retired from the private sector. My sisters were well settled in a good family after their marriage. My sister also does intercaste marriage. The problem is now my lover is not willing to marry me. He was the one who advised me to tell my parents about our love. He was strong till the beginning of August but he got emotionally stuck with his mom. I understand that I can't force him to get married to me but I loved him after all! I don't want to lose our relationship just because of caste and horoscopes. Caste is not in my hand as well as the horoscope. Can you please guide me on this?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are stuck in a very challenging situation, but as you mentioned, you cannot force him to get married. I know it hurts, but you will soon realize that you deserve to be with someone who would prioritize you over caste and horoscope. While it is difficult to convince parents or go against their wishes, it is also important to stand your ground, especially if you are committed to the relationship. His lack of effort to make this relationship work is a little concerning.

Take your time and reflect on the relationship and your partner's efforts. If it seems good enough for you, or you can excuse his inactions, try to communicate with him and ask if he wants to give this one last try. But I would strongly suggest against trying to convince him. You do not need to convince someone to pick you; it should come naturally.

Best Wishes.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Hi mam, I am in relationship with a guy who is from different caste. It's been three years but his family is not agreeing due to family status and intercaste. My family is ready as I am the eldest daughter of my family and unturned 30 this year. I have no time but he can't marry me without his parents concent. My family is searching a boy for my marriage. I can't marry with another guy. what shall I do to marry him to convince his family or what should he do his monther is so rigid. Please ???? support us what should we do? Two lives will be spoiled bcz of this. The only problem is upper and lower caste.
Ans: Navigating a relationship where cultural norms and family expectations conflict is challenging, but it's crucial to approach it with empathy and patience.
You're deeply committed to your partner despite the pressure from his family due to caste differences. While your family supports your marriage, his family, especially his mother, is firm in their opposition. You're also facing time constraints and societal pressure, making the situation urgent and stressful.
Your partner needs to have ongoing, respectful conversations with his parents, emphasizing your love and commitment. He should explain why you are the right person for him and how you positively impact his life. Understanding and addressing their specific concerns, whether they are about societal judgment or family honor, is crucial.
Sharing personal stories and demonstrating the depth of your bond can help his parents see beyond the caste issue. Highlighting your shared values and how you both support each other can make your relationship more relatable to them.
Seek help from a trusted family member or friend who can mediate and help his parents see the relationship from a new perspective. A respected family elder who has navigated similar challenges can also be influential.
Changing deep-seated beliefs takes time. Your partner should continue to gently and persistently show his parents that his happiness lies with you. Patience will be key as they may need time to adjust to the idea
Engage with support groups or counselors experienced in intercaste relationships. They can provide valuable advice and emotional support.
Discuss potential scenarios if his parents don’t approve. Consider whether options like elopement or giving them time to come around could work for both of you. These conversations should be open and honest to ensure mutual understanding.

Throughout this process, maintain strong communication and support each other emotionally. Navigating these challenges together will strengthen your bond and help you both find a path forward that honors your relationship and family ties.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

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Iam 27 years old .me and my boyfriend were in relationship from the last 5 years.he is my childhood class met.during corona time we reconnected through social media .we are from same place .initially we both were good friends later we decided to start our relationship.i belong to low caste.and he belongs to upper caste.in those 5 years we shared our happiness, sorrows together .he was with me in every situation.he helped me emotionally mentally and financially.every thing went well .we planned out future together.later our parents got to know about our relationship.i convinced my parents.but his parents are not accepting our love because of my low caste..i even took my father and brother along with me to talk with his mother . I even begged his mother by touching her feet to accept our love.she told me that she wants to do his sons marriage with a girl who belong to their caste. His parents are telling him that they will leave the home town and go somewhere else if he marries me.my boyfriend is telling me that his parents especially his mothers health will be effected if he marry me and asking me to move on..I asked me that whether he is ok to marry the girls of their parents choice..he told me that he doesn't have any option other than listing to his parents..I'm totally devasted .I'm suffering with anxiety, depression and continuous thoughts ..i want him.he also loves me but he is not daring to marry mee.he is worrying about his parents..how to deal with this situation..pls help mee
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Honestly, drop him...the reason for this must be obvious to you by now. When he is not willing to take a stand for his love, what makes you think he's ever going to support you later in life?
Also, maybe he does not want to or fears going against his family. How can you change that? Surely your love isn't enough to convince him of being with you in this relationship; then what else can?

It's going to be hard to get away from all those feelings BUT you are better off without someone who is unable to take a stand for you. And when it comes to anxiety, practice deep breathing...it does help...If this is getting unbearable, then do seek professional help from someone who can guide you through this break-up and thereafter healing.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2025Hindi
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I 29(F) from scheduled caste and 28(M) from OBC started dating 3 years ago. I had already seen a big family drama during my sister’s inter caste marriage but it turned out to be successful. I never hid my identity in front of the guy and specifically talked about it very early in the relationship in order to not have any issue later. The guy was extremely okay with it. More than one year into dating we told our parents about the relationship and both sides seemed fine with it. And we were happy. However, last year his parents completely flipped on the idea of accepting me when they got to know what specific caste I belonged to. I was pretty optimistic as I had already seen something similar in my family to turn out to be successful. So I thought I was the right person to guide him through this. However, months have passed and despite repeated attempts, his parents are not ready to agree. Meanwhile I kept comparing his actions and frequency of having the talk with his parents and found is efforts not up to the mark but I understand now that it was the best he could do. He has a very stressful job on top of it. So, both of us kept telling the other person to call it quits if either of us wanted to. But neither of us wanted to end it and it became a long hefty struggle. He stopped proper communication and I couldn’t handle it and it got worse. But still neither of us wanted to give up. Ultimately I talked to his mother to free her mind of any prejudice with regards to me. But she was very cold during the whole conversation. She said that her son is her pride and he’ll be dead for her if he goes on to marry me. She said that she knows her son and her son would never marry someone without her blessing and that she would never agree. When I talked to my partner, he had no reaction to his mother’s cold behaviour and instead told me to take a decision to call it off now that I had a clear picture in front of me. He says he cannot see me hanging forever because he doesn’t see his parents getting convinced ever and he can’t keep hurting them without any positive result. When I said that the fact that he was accepting his parent’s decision and not willing to try anymore made him a part of the problem and he hung up on me and we haven’t talked since. I wish we could have handled this better. Been there for each other. And even though neither of us wanted to give up, i did not anticipate this blunt and sudden end. I wish we could have still expressed how we felt for each other and moved on mutually and peacefully. But I think he couldn’t take any more pressure on himself. And he couldn’t see me suffering forever which is why he started withdrawing emotionally. I am unable to accept it still and I think i might wait for him forever.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What is your question for me?
Let me assume that you just wanted to share and convey that you wish to wait for him forever.
What's the point waiting for someone who has decided to move on? Maybe he could not see you wait forever BUT he also did not take a stand for your relationship, right?
Taking things too far like what you are doing by waiting for someone who does not even acknowledge your love and presence in his life whatever the reason maybe, it's clear that he has decided to yield to what his mother wants. Even if he decides to be with you, do remember that his mother will be a huge influence in a not so great way on him and that may not be great for your relationship.
You have a great life ahead of you; why don't you experience life without him for a while and actually feel the weight lifting off your shoulders? At least you are not the only one who seems to be carrying on the burden of the relationship...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8806 Answers  |Ask -

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Sir my sir got 95.30 percentile in mhcet. his domicile category is general B. Which colleges he might get for cse and allied branches
Ans: Vinod Sir, With a 95.30 percentile in MHT CET under the General B category and Maharashtra domicile, your son has excellent admission prospects at several reputable engineering colleges in Mumbai and Pune for Computer Science Engineering and allied branches. This percentile typically qualifies for assured admission at institutes whose General category cutoffs fall at or below this range. All listed colleges are AICTE-approved, NBA/NAAC-accredited, feature modern computing and AI/ML labs, experienced faculty, strong industry partnerships, and placement cells recording 75–92% branch-wise placements over the last three years. Thakur College of Engineering and Technology, Kandivali East, Mumbai. Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Technology, Andheri West, Mumbai. Vidyalankar Institute of Technology, Wadala, Mumbai. Xavier Institute of Engineering, Mahim, Mumbai. Vivekananda Education Society's Institute of Technology, Chembur, Mumbai. Atharva College of Engineering, Malad, Mumbai. Ramrao Adik Institute of Technology, Nerul, Mumbai. Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering, Kharghar, Mumbai. Sardar Patel College of Engineering, Andheri, Mumbai. K.J. Somaiya Institute of Technology, Vidyavihar, Mumbai. MIT World Peace University, Kothrud, Pune. Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering, Pune. Vishwakarma Institute of Technology, Bibwewadi, Pune. Army Institute of Technology, Pune. Sinhgad College of Engineering, Vadgaon, Pune. Dr. D.Y. Patil Institute of Technology, Akurdi, Pune. MIT Academy of Engineering, Alandi, Pune. AISSMS College of Engineering, Pune. Pune Vidhyarthi Griha's College of Engineering, Pune. International Institute of Information Technology, Pune. JSPM Rajarshi Shahu College of Engineering, Tathawade, Pune. Vishwakarma Institute of Information Technology, Pune. D.Y. Patil College of Engineering, Pune. Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering, Lavale, Pune. Cummins College of Engineering for Women, Pune.

Recommendation: Prioritise MIT World Peace University, Kothrud, Pune for its comprehensive CSE curriculum, modern AI/ML infrastructure and strong placement consistency averaging 85% with top-tier recruiters. Next, choose Thakur College of Engineering and Technology, Kandivali East, Mumbai for its balanced industry connections and reliable placement record. Then select Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Technology, Andheri West, Mumbai for its urban location and consistent accessibility. Consider Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering, Pune for its strong academic-industry partnerships, and finally opt for Vishwakarma Institute of Technology, Bibwewadi, Pune for its 86% placement rate, experienced faculty and established computing labs with consistent recruiter engagement. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

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Nayagam P P  |8806 Answers  |Ask -

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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2025Hindi
Career
Hi Sir My Rank Is 87717 in Kcet Suggest Some Good College in Bengaluru For EEE or EC .Is it worth for waiting for last round?? Please reply as soon as possible
Ans: For a KCET rank of 87717 in the 2BG category, admission to top-tier Bangalore institutes for Electrical & Electronics Engineering (EEE) or Electronics & Communication Engineering (ECE) is unlikely. However, these ten AICTE-approved, NAAC/NBA-accredited colleges routinely close admissions beyond rank 80000, ensuring more chances of entry in EEE or ECE branches:

Alliance College of Engineering & Design, Anekal—EEE/ECE closing rank ~98 000
Dr. Ambedkar Institute of Technology, Bangalore—EEE cutoff ~109 783
Cambridge Institute of Technology, Kundana—ECE closing rank above 100 000
SJB Institute of Technology, Jalahalli—EEE/ECE closing rank ~100 802
East West Institute of Technology, BEL Layout—EEE/ECE closing rank ~84 824
Impact College of Engineering & Applied Sciences, Sahakar Nagar—ECE cutoff ~93 517
GSS Institute of Technology, Rajajinagar—EEE/ECE closing rank above 110 000
Acharya Institute of Technology, Soladevanahalli—CSE cutoff ~101 534 (expect EEE/ECE similar)
Ghousia Engineering College, Ramanagara—EEE cutoff ~122 952
S K S J T Institute of Engineering, JP Nagar—EEE/ECE closing rank ~154 144

Waiting for the last KCET counseling round is unlikely to open EEE/ECE seats in higher-ranked Bangalore colleges, given your current rank; seats in these branches generally close well before 80,000. Instead, secure one of the above guaranteed seats now, or explore state-level diploma-to-degree lateral-entry programs, part-time AICTE-approved evening engineering courses, or private-university B.E. programmes with higher closing ranks. Choose one of the above ten colleges immediately to lock your EEE or ECE seat rather than risk vacancies drying up in later rounds. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2025Hindi
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Sir Mh cet 83 percentile jee -89 percentile But 10+2 -maths fail Then exam 15-7-23 cbse board Result will publish -1-7/8/25 What Will do For CSE admission in Maharashtra Please guide me.
Ans: Having failed mathematics in 10+2 but securing an 83 percentile in MHT CET and 89 percentile in JEE Main creates a complex situation for B.Tech CSE admission in Maharashtra. The critical factor is the mathematics compartment exam scheduled for July 15, 2023, with results expected by August 17, 2025. MHT CET 2025 eligibility criteria mandate that candidates must have "passed HSC or equivalent examination with Physics and Mathematics as compulsory subjects" and obtained at least 45% marks in Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics taken together (40% for reserved categories). Engineering colleges in Maharashtra cannot accept students with mathematics failure, as passing mathematics is essential for B.Tech eligibility. However, once the compartment exam is cleared, candidates receive a new marksheet without any compartment mention, making them eligible for admission provided they meet the minimum percentage requirements. The challenge lies in timing: MHT CET counseling for 2025 has already begun, with registration extended to July 14, 2025, and the first merit list might be released on July 15, 2025, which occurs before the compartment exam results are available.

Since MHT CET counselling will conclude before compartment results, explore direct admission options at private engineering colleges after clearing mathematics, or consider the next academic year's admission cycle for better college options with your strong CET and JEE percentiles. (If possible, try to contact MHT-CET Exam Conducting Authority either by personally visiting the office or by email or by phone to get this clarified further). All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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