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Love Triangle: Should I Marry My Ex-Student?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Tia Question by Tia on Oct 28, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Actually we both want to marry each other. But as he is younger than me so I was waiting for him to finish his studies and be of age to get marry. My parents have a problem with him first he is younger then he was my student once. They don't have their own house. It's the points what my father says to me and he says he knows something else also but he doesn't want to tell me. but we do elope from my house once because my father was retiring and it's my thoughts that he will now force me to marry someone else. At that time he was underage and not stable I was also not earning his parents convinced me that they will talk to my parents once he gets of legal age to marry and they inform my father to come and get me. There my father told them once my partner gets of age and if we both still wants to marry he will perform the rituals. But after that once I came back my home my father what he had told. I was previously depressed again It triggered me. Then my parents have done everything thing from astrologer to baba they was convinced I am hypnotized by my partner. I have tried many times to make them understand. Till today they never leave me alone at home. I am not even allowed to go out to shop alone. If I say so my mother sees me with questioning look. They thinks I will elope again. I am not allowed to take decisions till now. My mother take all decisions and she has told us this that if you want to live here you should live the way we want. I have two younger siblings everytime when I say them I will only marry him they trigger my younger siblings. Last time when his parents call to my father my father says false things about his mother. I don't know he may be interpreted wrong. But I was then convinced I will leave this house at last moment my father says things to me like if you want to go you can but I will call him and his parents I will insult them in whole society I will shave my head and told everyone it's because of you or I will kill him or I will kill myself and whole family. Them my mother started crying you want to spoil your younger ones lifeyou are this that. And I lost all my confidence all courage. Now my partner's work is growing so I have again gain courage I have decided to talk to my parents that I will marry and I will bear all consequences. It's my life and my marriage should be my decision. My father has said he will think. But I have decided I will talk to him again and again. But I have fear if he doesn't agree what will be my next step. I do want to marry. And I want family kids.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly stop getting lost in all these details; then you start to lose sight of what the challenge actually is. It starts to become a very filmy drama and then you will become part of it and start to indulge in it and not move to a solution space.

If you think he is the right person, then do not make him wait any longer...But, what is interesting in your details is the fact that your parents feel that he 'hypnotized' you?
Is it possible that they have picked on something not okay and don't know how to stop you and say things like hypnotize etc? Are you absolutely sure that this person is genuine and the one for you? If YES< you know what is to be done...
I am still curious, the way you have been writing long notes here to me explaining how your family is not okay with this and why they are doing this and that, what exactly is making you wait? Are you still unsure and have your doubts? Why would anyone wait this long if they love a person so much like the way you say that you are? Kindly think...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2024Hindi
Relationship
will soon be 25 yrs old but havent got a job yet and my partner is 29 yrs old. We know each other for the past 7-8 years and we are in a very healthy relationship so much happy with each other. We hv told about us in our families. They are willing to let their son marry the girl of his choice and in my family except my father everyone is happy for us. My mom likes him so much. He met my mom few times even came to home but havent met my father yet. I hv told my mom about us since march & my father in july. Since then me and my father are having heated arguments whenever i am trying to explain why i cant marry anyone by his choice. And i wish to marry this person. His issues are- Patriarchal thinking that how can a girl choose a guy for her marriage, its their parents job. Who told me to find a guy on her own. Secondly, Him being a maharashtrian. We belong to UP but living in mumbai for more than 25 years and my father has plans to shift back in UP after his retirement which is after 4 years. So he doesnt want me to leave here all alone by myself. Also he doesnt like maharashtrians, not even a bit. Thirdly, he is doing a private job but he is earning 70-80k monthly since my father is a govt employee. Hence he has got issues. What issues i am facing- he is giving all kinds of threats he can to stop me fir even dreaming about to get marry this person. He says even if the earth ends tomorrow i will not let you marry the person of your choice. It is our job to find a groom not yours. My elder brother who is 4 years older than me and my sister who is one year younger than me both are studying in delhi. It is just me and my mom and my younger brother who is in 8th std living here. And none of our relatives lives here. So he is verbally and physically abusing us. Even threatened me to put my partner and his family behind bars if they forces us to get marry. Since our (my and my mom) convincing and explaining to him is falling on deaf ears , we (my & my partner) are willing to take drastic step and get married in court. We are hoping that now only police intervention can help us to be with each other. But we are not taking this step right now cz many things are holding me back but we are willing to take if things goes even more worse later. Since we are not finding it worth to wait for his approval. Nor he wants to listen why i want to marry this person and what are my reasons to refuse any guy my father chooses for me. Neither willing to see or meet my partner. My mother is on my side. She even asked my partner to meet some of our relatives and family friends everyone liked him and us. Its just my father who is having and creating so many issues. Everyone wants to hlp us but jst because of my father's nature (him being a true narcissist perdon) all are hesitating about how to even start a conversation with him unless he doesnt talks abt this with them. My father is also avoiding to talk about this situation with anyone since it will bring down his reputation, what will the society and relatives think about us. Noone will marry my siblings if they get to know about this that their sister has forcefully left the house to marry the guy of her own choice. Please suggest me something what else i can do to make him understand and should i stop making efforts and do whatever i want to not now but after sometime. Take drastic step and leave the house. I also know what will be the consequences of my actions but can i do if he doesnt want me to see me happy or believing in my decisions. Atleast he should listen and see him personally that what i saw in this person. But he doesnt want. Please guide me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What can you do if your father has a rigid thinking like this? Like you yourself have mentioned: that your father must see what you saw in this person.
So, how much effort has gone into that? It seems that all of you are quick to judge that your father is strict and that he does not like people from certain states etc...Okay, he is who he is, right? So, now tune your efforts from complaining about him to what you can do to make him see the good in your partner.
Also, I hope that your partner is in a reasonably good financial state for his age else this will become an issue with your father.
Address your father's concerns and that will help you and your partner actually move things further. You becoming financially independent also will give your father confidence that you are old enough to make certain decisions of your life.

Also, your mother supporting you is of little use; if your father has always been in charge, she will have little say in the matter, so do not depend on anyone right now. Take it upon yourselves now to address what your father finds worrisome and take each point and build something useful to counter that.
It will not be possible or wise to force him to agree as that may not happen, so work on actually making him see what you see in your partner.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I fell in love with a boy 6 years younger than me. Besides knowing that family and society will not accept this relationship I fell in love with him and we spend a beautiful nice happy moments with each other. My parents when get to know they forced me to stop my job snatched my phone stopped me to use any social media so that I cannot contact him. And I was not allowed to leave house alone. It's been 9 years now I still don't have my own mobile phone or are not allowed to leave house alone. In these years twice or thrice my partner's parents have called my father regarding our marriage proposal but my father refused. I have tried him alot of time that I can't marry anyone else we want to be with each other we love each other he just don't understand. I have even told him if not him I will always stay here without marrying anyone he said okay love here but I will not allow you to marry him. They are not of our standard he is younger than you he can't keep you. They even have told me false things like he has a girlfriend outside we have seen him with girl. He is alcoholic etc. my partner is now out of patience he said I need you with me now and when are you coming your parents are not agreeing it's been 9 years and same situation. So I initiated a healthy calm talk to my father again three days back. I told him I am 32 now and it's my decision I want to marry him. It might be a bad decision like you think but it would be my decision and I will bear the responsibility of that. And it will also help me to move on. I want to give a chance and want you to respect my decisions and he said you decision or wrong. He is not a good guy his mother has insulted me. And I said I am not living with his mother its him I want to spend my life with. He said I can't see your future their but I was firm on my decision and than he said I will think about it. Today my mother told my younger brother that father has said no to my decision. I don't understand i don't trust my mother she has lied to me before many times. And I am feeling stucked here
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, whatever the reason, it is not fair to make your partner wait any longer. 9 years is a long time and from their side, they have tried to approach your family.
Why your family does not want this to happen can have many reasons, but what is it that you want? What makes you stuck? 32 is a great age to start taking decisions of life, you don't think? Move on this else, you will wait another couple of years and then realize that you have wasted enough time.
So, for once, keep your side of the family aside (in thoughts) and then ask yourself: Am I ready to marry my partner?
If YES, you know what to do and if NO, then you are perhaps making your family an excuse and not willing to move into marriage.
Reality check, but a necessary one...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2025

Relationship
Hi anu mam, I am 24 year's old girl. I am working in private company. My parents are aged my father age is 63 retired government teacher and my mother age is 50 house wife and I have one younger sister she is pursuing final year degree. My parents are forcing me to get married. But I am not at all interested in marriage now. I am in relationship his parents also aged he is from andhra. I am from Karnataka. We both are working in Bangalore in the same company. He is so gentleman no bad habits nothing. My parents are forcing to get married, they won't accept love marriage. I have depression and anxiety i am taking medications from last 2.5 years. i will be normal all the day if any tensions comes means I can't able to sleep the whole day and I will get anxious for little things also and I cry a lot for little things.this is my condition and my boyfriend knows each and everything about my health condition. He cake care of me very well. Now the problem is his parents are aged his father is 70 and mother is 62 he is having one yelder sister married. His parents are staying in Andhra. I am not able to communicate my relationship with my parents. I am getting fear. We both have family responsibilities. Sometimes we think let's breakup but we can't able to leave eachother. He needs some time for marriage. But my parents are forcing to get marry in 6 months only. Don't know wt to do. Please give me any solution for this mam
Ans: Dear Sadhana,
You are already on prescribed medication hence I what I suggest may be overstepping into your doctor's area. So, all I will say is, decide what you want...be clear on whether you want a life with this boy or you want to be with your parents. Since both are unable to come together, you are forced to decide and not deciding is what is causing you to get anxious...
Be clear and that will actually help you decide on the future steps that are useful and keep you happy. My suggestion is also that you go back to your doctor and discuss how this is affecting you. She/he will be able to guide you...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |360 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2025Hindi
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Sir, I am 39 years PSU employee with monthly net salary of 1.10 lacs. I have a son of 9 years and daughter of 1 year. I am investing in MF through SIPs and lumpsump for last 7 years and my present MF portfolio is 50 lacs with XIRR of almost 18%. Presently I do SIP of 30000 per month. I also have housing loan and my EMI is 42000. I am provided accomodation and medical facilities from my employer. I also have accumulated 18 lacs in PF and Rs. 28 lacs in NPS. I have Term plan of 1.5 crs. I also have liquid funds of 10 lacs in FD for emergency purpose and approx 7 lacs in PPF. Since my child's major education expenses is still 7 to 8 years far for my son and 15 years for my daughter, I will continue my SIP of atleast for next 8 to 10 years without breaking my existing portfolio. Can I generate a corpus of more than 7 crs till my retirement with above funds and will it be sufficient to meet the inflation after 20 years.
Ans: Hi,

You have done and accumulated quite good at your age in different instruments with varied returns. Let us have a detailed look.

1. Emergency Fund - 10 lakhs in FD - good to go.
2. Term Plan - 1.5 crores - good to go.
3. Health Insurance - provided by employer. However, can take a separate personal insurance for yourself and family.
4. PF - 18 lakhs (continue)
5. NPS - 28 lakhs (continue)
6. PPF - 7 lakhs (can stop continuing, invest only bare minimum to keep account active. Close account upon maturity and reallocate these funds in mutual funds)
7. MF Portfolio - 50 lakhs with 30k monthly SIP
8. Home Loan EMI - 42000

Goals:
- Son's education - after 8 years
- Daughter's education - after 15 years
- Retirement - need 7 crores

You are very much on the right track. Your current financials look strong in terms of fulfiling your financial goals.

> Your current MF portfolio can be bifurcated into 2 parts
i. 40 lakhs for your retirement. This amount along with other amount from PF and NPS will finance your retirement forever (inflation adjusted). Additionally you wil lleave behind a great fortune for your kids.
ii. 10 lakhs for your kid's education. Continue your existing SIP of 30k per month and also contribute 7 lakhs from PPF account on its maturity towards this goal. For son, you will have 75 lakhs only from this investment and your daughter's education will have 1.5 crores when she requires.

This way your existing investments can take care of all your goals. Also, do increase your contibution in SIP yearly. It will help in generating a higher corpus for your family.

As your overall investments are more thann 10 lakhs in MFs, it is wise for you to connect with a professional who will assist you and make a dedicated investment plan as per your goals.
Hence, do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who will guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |360 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2025

Money
My current age is 41 Years old and private employe in I.T sector. I have five kids of 11,8,7,5 &2 years. My elder daughter is in 7th class now. I have monthly Net salary of 1 lakhs after taxes. I am saving 20/30 thousand monthly. My assets are as follows:- I have one house worth Rs.15 lakhs, Two commercial shops worth Rs, 50 L. Having no loan in the market. Insurance Rs. 50 L term plan for me. Yearly I pay 40k. Health insurance 11 lakh for my entire family from my organisation.Yearly I pay 20k. I maintain an emergency fund 1.5 lac liquid on hand. Would like to make a total fund og 5 Cr by 2035. I have a requirement during higher education for childerns/marriage/Business for my son's and retirement at my age of 51 yrs after 10 years. How to grow my income. I would like to focus on high-growth investment to achieve my goal. But I am planning to invest monthly from my salary. More ever I may get 4lack in next month. Now the thing is how to go about 4lack. Where to invest Am confused what to do. Kindly advise further for more wealth creation. Steady plan. Wealth builds slowly but surely. Can someone help design a withdrawal/Saving strategy to meet your income needs and achieve goal. I would like comfortable retirement with a steady income. Thanks....
Ans: Hi Syed,

Let us have a detailed look below:
- Your monthly income - 1 lakhs, expenses - around 75k , and money for saving - approx. 25k per month.
- Emergency fund - 1.5 lakhs . Would suggest you to make a FD of this fund as emergency fund.
- Term and Health insurance - covered. But sum assured is less for your family. It should be increased.
- One house - 15 lakhs; 2 commercial shops - 50 lakhs.

Requirements:
- Need 5 crores by 2035 i.e. in 10 years
- Need fund for higher education and marriage of 5 children
- Retirement corpus required after 10 years

To achieve all these goals, you need to invest starting right now in aggressive mutual funds with 25-30k left with you. And you can increase your investment with the increase in your income.
Realistically, retirement after 10 years is not possible, but you can try and upgrade your skills to earn more and invest more.

You are also getting 4 lakhs next month. Invest entire amount in aggressive mutual funds. Mutual funds will give you an annual return of 14-15% very easily. This is the best way to build wealth for the goals that you mentioned.
>> Make sure to stay away from LIC policies and ULIPs and other plans which lock your money.

As you are not much aware about mutual funds and investment, you should work with a professional who will draft a plan for you.

Hence, please consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10842 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2025

Money
Dear Sir I have invested in a 2 BHK apartment in Mumbai Malad East area near Dindoshi court. The builder is GSA Grandeur. The builder promised to handover the flat possession ready to stay in December 2004. Later due to some issues he informed that the Flat shall be ready by December 2005. Now still he is saying that Falt shall be ready by August 2006. In this regard sir please advise what action I should take against the builder. The Flat cost is 1.11 CR plus registration charges from which I have paid him 1 CR. Kindly guide whom to approach for further action. Regards
Ans: You have taken a major financial step by booking an apartment. I appreciate your initiative in seeking advice. As a Certified Financial Planner, here is a structured menu of action you can take — from validating your rights to escalating with the proper authorities. Make sure to review all your documents and decisions with a qualified property lawyer before proceeding further.

» Confirm the agreement details

Check your Agreement for Sale (or Contract) and note the promised possession date: you mention December 2004, then December 2005, and now August 2006.

Verify whether the builder (GSA Grandeur) / promoter has a registered project under MahaRERA (Real Estate Regulatory Authority, Maharashtra).

See whether the project is listed on the MahaRERA website with a registration number.

Check if the builder has issued written communications about delay and extensions (emails/letters) and whether they have acknowledged the original date and the subsequent revised date.

Retain all payment receipts (you paid Rs 1 Cr out of total Rs 1.11 Cr + registration) and keep a record of when each payment was made and as per which schedule of installments.

» Understand your legal rights under the law

Under the Real Estate (Regulation & Development) Act, 2016 (RERA) and corresponding Maharashtra rules, if a promoter delays handing over possession beyond the agreed time, you have a right to compensation or withdrawal (refund) as per Section 18 of the Act.

You may ask the builder to pay interest on the amount you have paid so far for the period of delay. The model agreement under Maharashtra RERA states that if the promoter is unable to deliver within the time-schedule, the promoter should pay interest for every month of delay.

If the builder fails to deliver within a “reasonable” extended time (or fails entirely), you can choose to withdraw and seek refund of your money, along with compensation.

If the project is not registered with RERA (even though it should have been), then you may have additional grounds for legal action under consumer law or contract law.

Please note: recent judgments highlight that the builder’s delay gives you rights; but home-loan interest you paid may not be fully refundable via consumer forum as per recent rulings.

» Immediate practical steps you should take

Write & send a formal letter (by registered post) to the builder (GSA Grandeur) stating:

You booked the 2 BHK apartment in Malad East near Dindoshi Court.

The agreed (original) possession date was December 2004 (as per the agreement) and subsequent revised dates.

You have paid Rs 1 Cr out of total Rs 1.11 Cr + registration charges.

You demand the builder to clearly state the revised firm date of handing over possession, or alternatively offer you the option to withdraw and refund the money if they cannot meet a firm date.

You seek interest on the amounts paid for the period of delay, as per model agreement and RERA provisions.

Keep all your communication in writing and copy all relevant documents: payment receipts, agreement, letters from builder, any announcements, etc.

Check whether the builder has applied for or received Occupancy Certificate (OC) or Completion Certificate for the project/phase. Without OC the handover is legally incomplete.

» Approach the regulatory and legal forums

Check on the MahaRERA website whether the project is registered and find the project registration number.

If registered, you can file a complaint with MahaRERA (Maharashtra Real Estate Regulatory Authority) under the Act. As per FAQs, you may approach them for a refund, compensation and interest for delay.

If the project is not registered or the builder is non-compliant, you may also consider filing a suit in the consumer forum or appropriate civil court/contract tribunal for breach of contract.

Before filing, consult a lawyer specialising in real estate/consumer law so that all your evidence and claims are framed properly.

» Evaluate your options: continue vs withdraw

If the builder now gives you a firm handover date (with OC, all works completed) then you may choose to continue, given that you have already invested a large sum.

However, if the builder is still giving vague dates (August 2006 or beyond) and there are no signs of progress (OC pending, works incomplete), then you should seriously consider withdrawal and refund.

In that event, you must ask for: full refund of amount paid, interest for delay period (and compensation if justified), plus possible damages for alternative accommodation/rent you may have taken.

Monitor whether the builder is proceeding with construction, obtaining approvals, and has conveyed clear timelines.

» Assessing risk & safeguarding yourself

Since you made the payment long ago and the possession is delayed significantly, there is time-value and risk involved.

Make sure your title rights are secure: the agreement must clearly state your unit, floor, parking (if any), and your payments.

Avoid making any further significant payments unless you receive a possession letter and builder gives you the keys and OC/occupancy certificate.

Check for any lien, mortgage or charge on the builder’s property which may delay transfer further.

Note that property/real estate is subject to large delays and builder insolvency risk; hence your proactive action is wise.

» Document checklist for your case

Agreement for Sale (signed by you and builder) with possession date clause.

Payment receipts/Cheque copies of your payments (1 Cr paid) and records of registration charges.

Written communications from builder about revised dates (December 2005, August 2006).

Project registration certificate on MahaRERA (if available).

Status of Occupancy Certificate / Completion Certificate for the building.

Construction status photographs, society formation records, if any.

Correspondence showing builder’s acknowledgment of delay or your demand for possession/refund.

Any rent/alternative accommodation expense you incurred due to delay (if applicable).

» Timeline of action

Immediately send the registered letter to builder demanding firm date or refund.

Within 1-2 months if builder does not respond with firm date, file complaint with MahaRERA or initiate legal action.

Keep monitoring builder’s progress; if there is substantial delay (many years beyond promised date) your case will become stronger.

Maintain all documents and remain proactive; deadlines and records matter in these matters.

» Final Insights
You have a strong basis to assert your rights. The fact that possession was promised years ago and is still delayed means you are well within your rights to demand either speedy handover or refund/compensation. Initiate formal written demand, verify builder registration under MahaRERA, maintain all records, and seek regulatory/legal redress if builder remains non-responsive. With the right approach and evidence, you can compel the builder to perform or compensate you. Your prompt action now will protect your investment and avoid further loss.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
Holistic Investment Planners
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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