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My 17-year-old daughter spends 1.5 hours getting ready, what can I do?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Madam, I have a 17 years old daughter and have been struggling with an issue for some time now. She takes very long time in bathroom for getting ready. She takes minimum 1.5 hrs daily for getting ready. This includes time spent in teeth brushing,bathing and defecation. When I asked her then she told me she feels like cleaning multiple times and thus it takes time. I have tried multiple ways to ge her to resolve this but none has worked. She is a very sincere, gentle kid and She becomes very aggressive when I try to persist her to solve this. she takes a lot of time in washing, bathing and ends up consuming very high amount of soap. This has had effect on other hygiene related aspects like She developed extreme dryness in skin for which we had to take very long treatment from dermatalogist. The dermatalogist also counselled her many times to use limited amount of soap and fix time for every activity in bathroom. I think it is some form of OCD. It has had effect on other things like studies as she is not able to get ready on time and thus ends up compromising on other activities like eating time, studies time. I have tried to counsel her many times but it has not worked. I told her the problems which start due to this which impact her. I suggested that we meet some professional(like psychologist/psychiatrist/counsellers) but she doesn't agree to it. whenever i say to consult somebody then she says that she will fix it and for 1-2 days it gets a little better but then she goes to her old routine. I don't want to forcibly take her to any professionals as she might develop a complex that she is inferior. 1.How do i handle this issue 2.How do I convince her to meet some professional 3.Which professional should we meet. psychologist or psychiatrist or any other Please suggest what I should do as it is now becoming big problems

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The challenge is convincing someone who does not want to be convinced.
Probably, you can strike a deal with her; saying that she can set this right her way, but if it does not happen, then you see and work with a professional. That way she would have committed to it herself.
I would not label it an OCD until it is diagnosed by an expert but behavioral changes like these are usually related to emotional issues. It is best that an expert who understands the mind handle this.
Until such time that you take her to an expert:
- try not to talk about it repeatedly; this causes her to become conscious and this can increase the behavior
- take away soaps/body washes after her first shower
- observe any change in behavior - agitation/nervousness towards any incident during the day and if it results in her indulging in washing herself after that and note that down

Yes, it is necessary for this to be handled at the earliest and there's only a little that you can do personally as emotional triggers need the assistance of someone who understands it deeply and then guides the person accordingly to not just change the behavior but eliminate the cause behind it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Nov 28, 2024 | Answered on Nov 29, 2024
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Thanks Madam. Whom should we consult first psychologist or psychiatrist and reason behind choosing one.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You can choose a therapist or a psychologist. And on their advice, if they feel, you can see a psychiatrist.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Hello Sir, this is Dhiraj DM, I am 48 year's old married with no kids, we have any flat worth 1. 5 cr given on rent around 50 lakhs of equity 20 lacs mutual funds we want to retire in next 3 years,please guide. We live in a metro no liability, we r into Gifting business now want to retire in next 3 years
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1. Assessing Your Current Financial Position
Flat Worth Rs. 1.5 Crore: This generates rental income, but liquidity is limited.
Equity Portfolio of Rs. 50 Lakh: Market-linked investments with potential for high returns but volatile.
Mutual Funds of Rs. 20 Lakh: Offers diversification and moderate risk exposure.
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Equity exposure is beneficial but risky close to retirement.
Shift some funds to low-risk instruments for safety.
Keep some allocation to equity to combat inflation.
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Prepare a clear will to ensure smooth asset transfer.
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My sister is recently diagnosed with second stage of breast cancer. She is always emotional and moody. Can I introduce her to yoga or meditation? Can yoga help her cope with the fear and uncertainty?
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How Yoga Can Help:
Reduces Anxiety & Fear: Gentle yoga and deep breathing activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps in relaxation and emotional balance.
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Strengthens the Body: Light yoga can help reduce fatigue and improve overall well-being during treatment.
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Breathing (Pranayama): Anulom Vilom (Alternate Nostril Breathing) and Bhramari (Humming Bee Breath) calm the mind.
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Reduces Stress: Chronic stress weakens the immune system and increases inflammation, which can contribute to disease. Practicing meditation, breathing exercises, and relaxation techniques keeps the body in balance.
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For personalized guidance, consult a yoga coach who can create a practice suited to your health needs.

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