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How to counsel my 13-year-old daughter's period-related behavior changes?

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |39 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2024

Dr Nandita Palshetkar is the medical director of Bloom IVF.
She is a pioneer in ICSI, laser hatching, spindle view, oocyte and embryo freezing, IMSI, in vivo vaginal culture, metabolomics, embryoscope and spindle check technologies.
With over 30 years of experience, Dr Nandita is managing 10 centres across India.
She has written over 100 papers, edited 25 books and given over 1,000 lectures and speeches.
She has also won several prestigious awards, including the Dronacharya Award (2021), the Bharat Gaurav Award at the House of Commons in London (2014) and the Inspiring Gynaecologists of India (2018) to name a few.
Dr Nandita completed her MBBS from Grant Medical College and Sir J J Hospital, Mumbai, and her MD in obstetrics and gynaecology from Mumbai University."... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2024Hindi
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Dr Aarti Bakshi Ji, Good Afternoon. I have daughter aged 13yrs 2month. First periods started in the month of September 2024. After that her behaviour changed and became arrogant. She is not going to school on periods days. Kindly help,How to counsel her??,

Ans: Hello
Since your daughter is 13 years old and just started getting periods that is menarche, she is in her puberty. She is undergoing lots of hormonal changes which is very common in this age group from 10 to 12 to 14 to 16 years of age group.
She will be having physical, cognitive and psychosocial changes. She is bound to have mood swings, irritation, change in behavior. During this phase they are in establishment of own identity, autonomy, sexuality. Not going to school can happen cause if awkwardness in periods, scare of staining clothes, not able to perform activities as routine due to pain or bleeding.
All these are common behavioral changes in most teenagers.
1) We as a parent we need to make ourselves available for open communication. With our children without hesitation.
2) We should be more like friends to them than parents.
3) Openly speak to them regarding periods, all emotional and behavioral changes to them and reassure them that these are normal changes to happen and accept them with grace and understanding.
4) Engage the kids in other activities likes their hobbies and physical exercises to control adverse behavior.
5) Talk openly about sex to your children so that they know about self-care.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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I am 31 years old and have been married for 6 years. My relatives keep pressuring me and scaring me, saying that I haven’t had a child yet and that I should have one now. However, we are not financially prepared at the moment. We have just bought a house, and the loans have recently started, which exhausted all our savings for the down payment. My husband’s family had a very weak financial background. They had nothing, and he struggled a lot, even living in someone else’s house to complete his education. Only he knows how hard it was. Now, his salary has improved, and I am also employed. Additionally, we are entirely responsible for my in-laws, as my husband’s elder brother neither got married nor provides any support for the parents. We are under a lot of pressure right now, but everyone just keeps asking us when we are going to have a child. I’ve seen how my husband struggled with limited finances when the family was financially weak, and I don’t want to show such hardships to our children. On top of that, I am overweight and focused on losing weight to ensure I can be healthy. I feel very stressed and confused, but my husband is fully supportive of me.
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I'm a bsc botany graduate and now got admission and doing msc. I'm in first year and just gave my 1st semester exam but somehow now i feel i can't do botany at all its not just in my interest. I can't continue further with it as i dont think there's much scope too. I have interest in fields like geography or law related subjects. I'll be attempting for upsc too this year and also had a second thought to go for Law. Should i drop the msc? ....I've cried a lot thinking about that and its affecting my mental health too.
Ans: Hello dear.
First I would like to suggest that, in any way, you first complete your M.Sc. (Botnay) either with interest or without interest. Who told you that there is less scope in Botany? There are a lot of career options after M.Sc. (Botany).It is good that you are interested in geography and are attempting UPSC this year. Dear, along with your M.Sc. you can easily appear for UPSC and do the study of Geography, after completing your M.Sc. you can take the admission to Law course. Many people do the law even after their retirement or in due course of their service. There is no need to cry about the things which happened to you.
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Best of luck for your upcoming bright future.

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