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How to counsel my 13-year-old daughter's period-related behavior changes?

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |50 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2024

Dr Nandita Palshetkar is the medical director of Bloom IVF.
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Dr Nandita completed her MBBS from Grant Medical College and Sir J J Hospital, Mumbai, and her MD in obstetrics and gynaecology from Mumbai University."... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2024Hindi
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Dr Aarti Bakshi Ji, Good Afternoon. I have daughter aged 13yrs 2month. First periods started in the month of September 2024. After that her behaviour changed and became arrogant. She is not going to school on periods days. Kindly help,How to counsel her??,

Ans: Hello
Since your daughter is 13 years old and just started getting periods that is menarche, she is in her puberty. She is undergoing lots of hormonal changes which is very common in this age group from 10 to 12 to 14 to 16 years of age group.
She will be having physical, cognitive and psychosocial changes. She is bound to have mood swings, irritation, change in behavior. During this phase they are in establishment of own identity, autonomy, sexuality. Not going to school can happen cause if awkwardness in periods, scare of staining clothes, not able to perform activities as routine due to pain or bleeding.
All these are common behavioral changes in most teenagers.
1) We as a parent we need to make ourselves available for open communication. With our children without hesitation.
2) We should be more like friends to them than parents.
3) Openly speak to them regarding periods, all emotional and behavioral changes to them and reassure them that these are normal changes to happen and accept them with grace and understanding.
4) Engage the kids in other activities likes their hobbies and physical exercises to control adverse behavior.
5) Talk openly about sex to your children so that they know about self-care.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Hello Madam, My daughter is 12 yr old and is in class 7th. She is not at all interested in studies. She is also not interested in making new friends. She is always busy on playing games on mobile. Studies just one week prior to exams. Her behavior is also becoming rude day by day. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Hello!!
The addiction to mobile after COVID is a menace every parent is facing. The good part is she is aware about her exams and studies at least one week before her exams.

The rude behaviour, lack of focus on studies is all stemming from the mobile games. They are highly addictive and the thrill they give is beyond imagination. Slowly but surely you have to take away the mobile from her, that's the only way to help her look for other sources to keep her busy .Friends, new skills and studies will get her attention only when the mobile is away.

Allocate time for food, sleep, studies, play time and also mobile time( can't just take away the mobile, has to be weaned away from it gradually), in a day. Set a timer for the mobile usage, she has to return the mobile as soon as the timer bell rings.

Pls remember you are the adult here, she is just a child. Guide her, lead her towards better and interesting things to do. You all as a family have to stop sitting with the mobile, start reading books ,play board games , learn a new skill, sing songs, cook together, bake together, you make everything at home an interesting activity, joyful activity, why will a child sit on the mobile?
It is a going to be lot of hard work for you and if the end result of this is seeing your daughter away from the mobile, laughing and talking to her friends, playing around, studying well.....then this is worth all the effort.

..Read more

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