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Kanchan Rai |496 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 26, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - May 26, 2024Hindi

I'm married for 47 years . Well settled My wife dislikes sex intimacy, but in need atleast hugging and kissing. My nature is not to demand. How can I overcome my depression?

Ans: Navigating intimacy issues in a long-term marriage can be deeply challenging, especially when it leads to feelings of depression. Given your situation, it's important to approach this delicately and thoughtfully.

Start by opening a gentle and honest conversation with your wife about your feelings. It's crucial to express your emotions without making her feel blamed or pressured. Emphasize that you’re seeking a way to connect more deeply and address your emotional needs. This can help both of you understand each other's perspectives and work towards a solution that respects both of your boundaries and desires.

Consider seeking professional help. Seeing a therapist, either individually or as a couple, can be immensely beneficial. A therapist can provide strategies for coping with depression and navigating the emotional complexities of your situation. Couples therapy offers a safe space to discuss intimacy issues and find mutually agreeable solutions.

Focusing on self-care and your overall well-being is also important. Engage in activities that promote mental and physical health, such as regular exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, getting sufficient sleep, and practicing mindfulness or meditation. These activities can help improve your mood and manage feelings of depression.

Strengthening your social connections outside of your marriage can also be beneficial. Spending time with friends, family, or participating in community activities can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of loneliness. Engaging in hobbies or interests that bring you joy can also be a great way to boost your mood and overall happiness.

Additionally, consider exploring different forms of physical affection that your wife might be comfortable with. Even if sexual intimacy is not possible, other forms of physical closeness like hugging, holding hands, or gentle massages can help maintain a sense of connection and intimacy in your relationship.

Remember, it's okay to seek help and take steps towards improving your mental health. Addressing these issues can lead to a stronger, more understanding relationship and a better sense of personal well-being.