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Financial Planner - Answered on May 23, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2024Hindi
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I am totally confused as to which health insurance plan to buy for my family. What are the most important pointers I must know before buying a mediclaim? I want total cashless insurance. My friends tell me that many insurance companies don’t cover all the claims. How will I know about that?

Ans: Choosing the right health insurance plan for your family is crucial, and it's understandable to feel overwhelmed by the options. Here are some important pointers to consider before buying a mediclaim policy:

1. Coverage and Benefits:

• Inpatient Hospitalisation: Ensure the plan covers hospitalisation expenses, including room charges, doctor's fees, surgery, and nursing.
• Pre and Post-Hospitalisation: Look for coverage of medical expenses incurred before and after hospitalisation.
• Daycare Procedures: Check if the policy covers treatments that don't require 24-hour hospitalisation.
• Domiciliary Treatment: Verify if home treatment is covered if hospitalisation is not possible.
• Maternity and Newborn Benefits: If relevant, look for plans that cover maternity expenses and newborn care.

2. Network Hospitals:

• Cashless Facility: Ensure the insurer has a wide network of hospitals offering cashless treatment. This means the insurer pays the hospital directly, reducing your out-of-pocket expenses.
• Hospital Network Size: The larger the network, the better your chances of finding a network hospital near you.

3. Claim Settlement Ratio:

• Research: Check the insurer's claim settlement ratio, which indicates the percentage of claims settled against the total claims received. A higher ratio is preferable.
• Customer Reviews: Look for reviews and testimonials regarding the insurer's claim settlement process.

4. Exclusions and Waiting Periods:

• Pre-existing Diseases: Understand the waiting period for pre-existing conditions.
• Specific Treatments: Check for exclusions related to specific treatments or conditions.
• Waiting Periods: Be aware of initial waiting periods, disease-specific waiting periods, and maternity waiting periods.

5. Sum Insured and Sub-limits:

• Adequate Coverage: Choose a sum insured that adequately covers potential medical expenses.
• Sub-limits: Be cautious of sub-limits on room rent, specific treatments, or diseases, which can limit your claim amount.

6. Premiums and Deductibles:

• Affordable Premiums: Ensure the premiums fit your budget without compromising on coverage.
• Deductibles and Co-payment: Understand any deductibles or co-payment clauses which require you to pay a portion of the expenses.

7. Additional Benefits:

• No Claim Bonus: Some policies offer a bonus for each claim-free year, which can increase your sum insured.
• Free Health Check-ups: Look for plans offering periodic health check-ups.
• Restoration Benefits: Check if the policy offers sum insured restoration in case it gets exhausted during a policy year.

8. Portability and Renewability:

• Policy Portability: Ensure the policy is portable, allowing you to switch insurers without losing benefits.
• Lifetime Renewability: Opt for plans offering lifetime renewability to ensure coverage in older age.

9. Customer Service:

• 24/7 Support: Check if the insurer provides round-the-clock customer support.
• Ease of Process: Evaluate the ease of buying, renewing, and claiming processes.

10. Regulatory Compliance:

• IRDAI Approval: Ensure the insurer and the plan is approved by the Insurance Regulatory and Development Authority of India (IRDAI).

11. Steps to Verify Coverage and Claims:

• Policy Document: Read the policy document thoroughly for detailed coverage, exclusions, and terms.
• Brochures and Websites: Check the insurer’s official website and brochures for detailed information.
• Customer Service: Contact the insurer’s customer service for any specific queries.
• Independent Reviews: Look for independent reviews and ratings on insurance comparison websites.
• Friends and Family: Gather feedback from friends and family who have experience with the insurer.

By carefully evaluating these factors, you can make an informed decision about the best health insurance plan for your family that meets your needs and offers comprehensive coverage.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7435 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 04, 2024Hindi
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Hi I want a health insurance for my family but unable to decide which one to choose. What are things need to know before taking Health insurance. I want total cashless insurance. I have heard some insurance company do not cover all in claim. How to know about that. Thankyou in advance
Ans: key things to consider before choosing a family health insurance plan with cashless coverage:

Family Coverage:

Member inclusions: Ensure the plan covers all your immediate family members (spouse, dependent children, and potentially parents depending on the plan).
Sum Insured: Choose a sufficient sum insured per person considering potential medical inflation and future healthcare costs. Opt for a joint sum insured or individual sum insured per family member based on your needs.
Cashless Network Hospitals:

Network breadth: Research the insurance company's network hospitals in your area. Accessibility and quality of hospitals within the network are crucial factors.
Cashless claim settlement ratio: Check the company's cashless claim settlement ratio, indicating the percentage of cashless claims approved. A higher ratio indicates smoother claim processing.
Policy Coverage:

Hospitalization expenses: Ensure the plan covers hospitalization bills, including room rent, surgeon fees, medications, and other related costs.
Pre-existing conditions: Look for a plan that covers pre-existing conditions if any family member has one. However, there might be waiting periods for coverage.
Daycare expenses: Some plans offer coverage for daycare expenses incurred during hospitalization.
Co-pay/Deductible: Some plans involve co-pays (fixed amount paid for specific services) or deductibles (amount you pay before insurance kicks in). Understand these clauses and choose a plan with terms that suit you.
Claim Settlement Process:

Claim settlement turnaround time: Research the average time the insurance company takes to settle claims.
Claim intimation process: Understand the claim intimation procedure and required documentation to ensure a smooth process.
Company Reputation:

Financial stability: Choose a health insurance company with a strong financial track record for claim settlements.
Customer service: Look for a company known for good customer service, especially regarding claim processing assistance.
Ways to Research Plans & Claim Coverage:

Company Websites: Most insurance companies have detailed information about their health insurance plans on their websites.
Insurance Comparison Websites: Websites like Policybazaar (https://www.policybazaar.com/), CompareRaja (https://health-plan-compare.com/), or Fincare (https://www.insurancedekho.com/health-insurance/news/religare-health-insurance-partners-with-fincare-small-finance-bank-7) allow plan comparisons and provide valuable insights.
Insurance Agents: A licensed insurance agent can help you compare plans, understand exclusions, and choose the one that best suits your family's needs.
Understanding Exclusions:

Most health insurance plans have exclusions, which are medical expenses the plan doesn't cover. Here's how to learn about them:

Policy Wording: Read the policy wording carefully, focusing on the exclusions section. This will clearly outline what isn't covered by the plan.
Speak to the Insurance Provider: Contact the insurance company directly and ask about any exclusions related to specific procedures or pre-existing conditions.
Choosing the Right Plan:

Don't just focus on premiums: While cost is important, prioritize comprehensive coverage over just the lowest premium.
Get quotes from multiple companies: Compare quotes from different providers to find a plan that offers the best value for your needs.
Ask questions: Don't hesitate to ask questions and clarify any doubts you have about the plan details or claim settlement process.
By considering these factors and thoroughly researching your options, you can choose a family health insurance plan with cashless coverage that provides peace of mind and financial protection for your loved ones.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7435 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

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Money
Hi Sir, Hope you finding this message well and healthy. Thankyou so much for the response on my last question. I want your help or recommendations in choosing a health insurance for me and wife and 2 kid. I am looking a for best plan not cheap for at least 15 lac cover. I have shortlisted HDFC ergo optima secure. However I need your expert advice and recommendations.
Ans: Choosing the right health insurance plan for your family is crucial. A good plan ensures that you are financially protected in case of medical emergencies. You have shortlisted HDFC Ergo Optima Secure, which is a great start. Let’s discuss the factors you should consider when choosing the best health insurance plan for your family, covering you, your wife, and your two kids with at least a Rs 15 lakh cover.

Coverage and Benefits
Sum Insured
Adequate Coverage: Ensure the plan offers a minimum cover of Rs 15 lakh. Higher coverage provides better financial protection.
Hospital Network
Cashless Treatment: Look for a plan with a wide network of hospitals offering cashless treatment. This ensures ease during emergencies.
Room Rent Limits
Room Rent Capping: Choose a plan with higher room rent limits or no capping. This prevents out-of-pocket expenses during hospitalization.
Pre and Post-Hospitalization
Extended Coverage: Ensure the plan covers pre and post-hospitalization expenses. This covers expenses incurred before and after hospitalization.
Daycare Procedures
Comprehensive Cover: The plan should cover various daycare procedures. Many treatments don’t require 24-hour hospitalization.
No Claim Bonus (NCB)
Incremental Benefits: Look for plans offering a No Claim Bonus. This increases your sum insured for every claim-free year.
Inclusions and Exclusions
Maternity and Newborn Cover
Family Planning: If you are planning for more children, ensure maternity and newborn cover is included.
Critical Illness Cover
Serious Conditions: Consider a plan that covers critical illnesses. This ensures coverage for life-threatening conditions.
Disease Waiting Period
Waiting Period: Check the waiting period for pre-existing diseases. A shorter waiting period is preferable.
Specific Exclusions
Understand Exclusions: Read the policy document to understand specific exclusions. This helps avoid surprises during claim time.
Additional Benefits
Annual Health Check-Up
Preventive Care: Plans offering annual health check-ups help in early detection of health issues.
Wellness Programs
Healthy Lifestyle: Some plans offer wellness programs and discounts for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Ambulance Cover
Emergency Services: Ensure the plan covers ambulance charges. This is crucial during medical emergencies.
Restore Benefits
Reinstatement of Sum Insured: Look for plans that offer restore benefits. This reinstates your sum insured if exhausted within a policy year.
Premiums and Co-Payments
Affordable Premiums
Cost-Effectiveness: Ensure the premium is affordable for the benefits offered. Compare different plans for cost-effectiveness.
Co-Payment Clause
Co-Payment: Be aware of the co-payment clause. Lower co-payment means less out-of-pocket expenses.
Claim Process and Customer Service
Easy Claim Process
Smooth Claims: Choose a plan with a hassle-free claim process. Online claim settlement options are preferable.
Customer Support
Support System: Good customer service is essential. Ensure the insurer has a robust support system for queries and claims.
Claim Settlement Ratio
Reliability: Check the insurer’s claim settlement ratio. A higher ratio indicates reliability and trustworthiness.
Recommendations
Balanced Plan
Comprehensive Coverage: Choose a plan that balances coverage, benefits, and premiums. Ensure it meets your family’s healthcare needs.
Customizable Plans
Tailored Options: Opt for plans that allow customization. Add-ons and riders enhance the basic plan as per your requirements.
Renewability
Lifelong Renewability: Ensure the plan offers lifelong renewability. This is crucial for continuous coverage in old age.
Portability
Switching Plans: Check if the plan allows portability. This helps in switching insurers without losing benefits.
Final Insights
Choosing the right health insurance involves evaluating coverage, benefits, and costs. Ensure the plan meets your family’s healthcare needs and offers adequate financial protection. Regularly review your policy and update it as per changing requirements.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
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Money
Personal Status Current Age - 35Y Male Profession - Embedded Engineer Disposal Income - 1.6L/Month Monthly Expense - 50K/Month Yearly Onetime Expenses - 3L/Year (School Fee, Premiums, Personal) Annual Disposal Income - 19,20,000 Annual Expenses - 9,00,000 Financial Status (1) Term Insurance - 1Cr (2) Health Insurance (1) Company Insurance - 3L (MySelf, Spouse, 2 Kids, Father and Mother) (2) Personal Insurance - 25L (Star Health Assure Floater Policy - MySelf, Spouse, 2 Kids) (3) Emergency Fund - 5L in Debt Fund (ICICI All Season Bond) Current Asset Allocation: (1) Real Estate - 46% (2) Equity - 20% (3) Gold - 11% (4) Debt - 9% (5) Retirement - 16% Investment Plan: (1) Debt - 25% (2) PPFAS Flexi Cap MF - 20% (3) Axis Mid Cap MF - 17% (4) Quant HealthCare MF - 9% (5) Tata Digital MF - 6% (6) Global Fund - 5% (7) UTI Nifty 50 Index - 10% (8) Stocks - 8% Other Investment (Retirement Plan): SSY - 1.5L/Year PF - 2.5L/Year Investment duration: Next 15Years Can you please guide me in the following questions (1) The Allocation to MF are fine or need to be modified? (2) Can you suggest the allocation to Global Stocks MF? (3) The Global Fund suggestion if any It would be grateful if any other things I need to consider or modify. Thank you in advance!
Ans: Hello;

My feedback is as given below:

1. First your term life cover is not adequate. It should be enhanced to
2-3 Cr.

2. Healthcare coverage for your parents is relatively lower considering that they may be in the higher age band hence higher possibility of medical risks.

3. Emergency fund should be parked in overnight/liquid or arbitrage fund. Never in a dynamic bond fund with Macaulay duration of 3-4 years. Returns are not that important as liquidity and low risk for emergency fund.

4. Considering your age the allocation to equity is quite low. Assuming that you have a conservative risk profile still you should atleast have 40% allocation to equity mutual funds(not direct stocks) and taper it down gradually as you approach retirement age.

I mean actively managed or passive equity mutual funds and not sectoral and thematic funds(shouldn't be more then 10-15% of your equity allocation).

5. You already have exposure to global stocks through your flexicap fund. In addition to that you have 5% allocation to global stocks MF which maybe enhanced to 8%.

To maintain neutrality of this forum we are duty bound to avoid indicating fund house preference or recommendation.

6. Allocation to Gold should be max 10% of the portfolio.

7. Consider NPS for retirement planning. It's an E-E-E type of investment with very less withdrawals allowed before 60.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |118 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Relationship
Dear Doctor, Greetings of the day. I am a married man with two daughters. Ours was an intercaste love marriage, and I was fully aware of my wife’s past before we got married. At that time, I had no issues with her past as I believed she had moved on, and I was completely fine with it. We got married in 2008, and due to my job profile, we had to live away from our hometown. My wife is a highly educated woman, and she sacrificed her career to focus on raising our children. Once our younger daughter turned 9, we decided it was time for my wife to resume her professional career. She started a naturopathy clinic in our hometown, while I continued working in another city, living the life of a “forced bachelor.” However, after a year of being apart, I started missing my family deeply. I decided to leave my job and take up another role closer to our hometown so that I could spend weekends with my family. Since then, whenever I visit home, I sense a change in my wife’s behavior and body language. Things do not feel the same between us anymore. I have observed that her ex-boyfriend, who lives near her parents’ house, is a factor in this situation. Her ex’s elder sister frequently visits my wife’s clinic, and my wife also visits her parents’ house regularly, where he is around. I feel uneasy about this because her ex is known to be a drunkard and a manipulative man who can play with her mind. On one occasion, during a family function, he approached me, seemingly about to start a conversation, but my wife made a subtle signal, and he immediately stopped. He was drunk at the time, and that incident has been stuck in my mind ever since. I am unsure how to deal with this situation or what steps to take moving forward. It is affecting my peace of mind, and I feel lost. Kindly guide me on how to approach this matter.
Ans: It’s understandable that you’re feeling uneasy and concerned about the situation. Relationships, especially long-term ones, evolve over time, and external factors can create complex dynamics. Here’s a step-by-step approach to help you navigate this:

1. Clarify Your Feelings
Reflect on what exactly is making you uncomfortable—your wife’s behavior, her interactions with her ex, or the idea that her past might be resurfacing.
Separate your assumptions from facts. It’s important to ensure your concerns are grounded in reality and not solely based on fears.
2. Open Communication with Your Wife
Choose a calm and private moment to talk to your wife. Share your feelings without accusations or judgment.
Use “I” statements, such as:
“I’ve been feeling uneasy about some things and would like to discuss them with you. I value our relationship and want to ensure we’re on the same page.”
Be honest but gentle. Aim to understand her perspective and ensure she feels safe sharing her thoughts with you.
3. Understand Her Perspective
Ask her how she’s feeling about the current state of your relationship, her work-life balance, and your family dynamics.
Inquire about her interactions with her ex’s family and clarify if they are merely coincidental or something more deliberate.
4. Establish Boundaries
If the situation with her ex is a source of discomfort for you, it’s okay to express that and set boundaries together.
For example: “I respect your independence, but I feel uneasy about the proximity to your ex. Can we find a way to address this together?”
5. Revisit the Relationship Foundation
Long-distance and career changes can create emotional gaps. Reconnect with your wife by revisiting shared goals, dreams, and moments that brought you together.
Plan activities together, even small ones, that allow you to strengthen your bond.
6. Self-Care
Feeling lost and restless can impact your mental and emotional health. Engage in activities that help you stay grounded, such as exercise, meditation, or journaling.
Seek support from trusted friends or a counselor if you need a safe space to process your feelings.
7. Consider Professional Guidance
If the situation continues to strain your relationship, couples counseling can be a constructive way to work through concerns with an objective third party.
8. Evaluate the Bigger Picture
Look at your wife’s overall behavior and commitment to the family. If her actions consistently demonstrate care and loyalty, the presence of her ex might be less significant than it feels.
Conversely, if her behavior indicates distance or secrecy, it may warrant deeper introspection and conversation.
Key Principles
Trust but Verify: While trust is essential, it’s okay to seek clarity when something feels off.
Non-Confrontational Approach: Avoid making accusations or assumptions. Focus on fostering mutual understanding.
Focus on Solutions: Work together to create a relationship environment where both of you feel secure and valued.
This is a sensitive issue, but with open communication and a collaborative approach, you can work toward restoring peace of mind and a deeper connection in your marriage.

...Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |118 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 28, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi expert I’m a 48-year-old man from Bangalore. I am watching your videos on instagram and need your advice. Recently, I joined Instagram in search of answers to some personal, painful questions that I’ve never had the courage to discuss with anyone before. I’ve been married since 2007, and we have a 15-year-old son. Despite being in a long-term marriage, I often feel uncertain about my relationship with my wife and my family. At times, I wonder if my wife—or anyone in my family—truly loves or even cares for me. This feeling of being emotionally disconnected has led me to occasionally think that I might be better off alone, or even running away from everything. One issue I struggle with is communication with my wife. Whenever I try to discuss personal or family matters with her, she gets upset, and her anger usually leads to silence between us until I apologize. It feels like I can’t express myself openly without the fear of making things worse. This dynamic has created a barrier, and I’ve found it difficult to have meaningful conversations or resolve issues. Another complication is the lack of harmony between my wife and my family. From the early days of our marriage, my family never really accepted her, and there has always been tension. They didn’t make an effort to treat her well, and over time, it became clear that they don’t get along. As a result, there’s a deep sense of isolation for her in my family, and that only adds to the strain in our relationship. At home, I also often feel like I fail to meet expectations. My wife gets angry when things aren’t done the way she wants them to be, and I sometimes find myself unsure of how to navigate these situations. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells, trying to avoid conflict, but in doing so, I’m unsure whether I’m making the right choices or whether I’m neglecting my own needs in the process. I’m reaching out for advice because I’m at a point where I feel lost. I’m not sure how to repair the relationships in my life or how to stop feeling so isolated. Any guidance or perspective you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
Ans: Thank you for sharing your story so openly and honestly. I understand how overwhelming it can feel to navigate such complex emotions and relationships, especially when you feel uncertain about where to turn for guidance. Let’s take this step-by-step to explore ways to help you find clarity and strengthen your relationships.

1. Instagram as a Starting Point, Not the Solution
It’s important to acknowledge that while platforms like Instagram can offer inspiration and helpful insights, they’re not designed for addressing deeply personal issues. Content on social media is often generalized and may lack the depth, context, and nuance needed to resolve complex challenges. What you’re experiencing deserves more personalized attention and a safe, professional space where you can explore your thoughts, emotions, and relationship dynamics in depth. Seeking professional help—such as therapy or counseling—will allow you to find tailored solutions that fit your unique circumstances.

2. Understanding Emotional Disconnect
Feeling emotionally disconnected in your marriage and questioning whether your family loves or cares for you can be incredibly painful. These feelings might not reflect the absence of love but rather difficulties in how love and care are communicated within your relationships. Emotional disconnection often stems from patterns of interaction or unmet emotional needs, which can build over time. Recognizing this can help you shift your focus from self-doubt to exploring ways to improve connection and communication with your loved ones.

3. Improving Communication with Your Wife
A recurring theme in your situation is the challenge of communication with your wife. Here are a few strategies to address this:

Choose Neutral Moments: Initiate conversations at a time when both of you are calm and free from immediate stress. Avoid starting sensitive discussions during or right after a conflict.
Express Feelings, Not Faults: Frame your concerns using “I” statements to share your feelings without sounding accusatory. For example, instead of saying, “You always get upset when I talk,” you could say, “I feel hesitant to share my thoughts because I worry about upsetting you.”
Listen Actively: Show her that her perspective matters by listening without interrupting. Reflect on what she says to ensure she feels heard.
Consider Structured Check-Ins: Set aside regular time (e.g., once a week) to discuss family matters or emotions. This can create a safe space for open dialogue without the pressure of immediate resolution.
4. Addressing Family Tensions
The tension between your wife and your family has likely added significant strain to your marriage. While this dynamic is challenging, there are steps you can take to navigate it:

Acknowledge Your Wife’s Experience: Validate her feelings about her struggles with your family. Let her know that you understand how difficult it’s been for her to feel isolated.
Set Boundaries with Your Family: It’s important to prioritize your marriage while still maintaining a respectful relationship with your family. This might involve gently but firmly communicating to your family that you expect them to treat your wife with respect, even if they don’t share a close bond.
Avoid Forcing Reconciliation: Instead of trying to make your wife and family “get along,” focus on small steps to reduce tension. Highlight shared interests or goals, but respect their individual boundaries.
5. Managing Expectations and Conflicts at Home
It’s clear that you feel under pressure to meet expectations and avoid conflict at home. To navigate this:

Clarify Expectations: Have an open conversation with your wife about her specific expectations and how you can meet them without compromising your own needs. Share your expectations as well, so you both have a clearer understanding of each other’s perspectives.
Practice Self-Care: Taking care of your mental and physical health is crucial. Whether through exercise, hobbies, or relaxation techniques, find activities that help you manage stress and maintain emotional balance.
Respond, Don’t React: When conflicts arise, take a moment to pause and reflect before responding. This can help you approach the situation with calmness and clarity.
6. Seeking Professional Help
Given the complexity of your situation, seeking professional guidance could be immensely beneficial. Options include:

Marriage Counseling: A therapist can provide a neutral space where both you and your wife can work through communication challenges and emotional disconnection. This can help you rebuild trust and strengthen your bond.
Individual Therapy: If you’re feeling isolated or questioning your self-worth, therapy can help you explore these feelings, gain clarity, and develop strategies for personal growth and resilience.
Family Counseling: If you want to address the broader family dynamics, family therapy can help facilitate understanding and harmony among all parties involved.
7. Reflecting on Your Needs
Finally, take time to reflect on your own emotional needs. What do you truly want from your relationships? What makes you feel valued and loved? Communicating these needs to your wife and family can help them understand how to support you better.

A Final Thought
You’ve taken a courageous first step by acknowledging your struggles and seeking advice. While the path ahead may feel uncertain, remember that meaningful change is possible with consistent effort, patience, and the right support. You don’t have to go through this alone, and seeking professional help can provide the tools you need to rebuild connection and find peace in your relationships.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |466 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 01, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam Age 42. Double divorcee. Recently I have been meeting my old college friend & we sort of know each other for the last 2 decades. At college we were more of acquaintances & post that we were connected through social media. We would sometimes connect but not on regular basis. She is also a divorcee. However in 2024 we have been meeting quite regularly. When we meet she is very nice & has been warm with me; we go out have fun. But there are things like she keeps hiding from me. She goes on overnight tours with her 'friends' ; she never introduces me to her friends ( I mean friends with whom she goes out). I told her that I am ok with your 'friends' but she sorts of backs away. Also then there have been some unexplained gaps (she turns cold all of a sudden) & then comes out very warm. All these days & I have developed strong feelings for her. Just wanted to get your perspective on what you think is her stance towards me.
Ans: It’s possible that her past experiences have made her cautious. After going through a divorce, people often carry emotional baggage or fears about vulnerability and trust. These feelings can make someone hesitant to fully open up or commit, even if they’re genuinely interested in the connection. Her keeping parts of her life private, like her outings with friends, might be her way of maintaining control and independence as she navigates her own emotions and what she wants for her future.

Another perspective to consider is that she may be uncertain about the nature of your relationship or how she feels about moving forward. The warm and cold behavior could be a reflection of her trying to figure out her own emotions. She might enjoy spending time with you but feel hesitant about diving deeper due to unresolved feelings from her past or uncertainties about what a long-term commitment would look like.

This inconsistency might also stem from her valuing her independence and wanting to keep certain aspects of her life separate until she feels more certain about how to integrate you into those spaces. For some, introducing a new partner to close friends or family is a significant step that they might delay until they feel fully ready.

It’s important for you to approach this situation with patience and open communication. Rather than focusing on her actions as signs of rejection or disinterest, try to have a heartfelt conversation about how you feel and what you’ve observed. Share your feelings honestly and express your desire to understand her better. Ask her about her thoughts and boundaries in a way that shows you’re genuinely interested in her perspective, not just seeking answers for your own clarity.

At the same time, reflect on your own needs and expectations. Consider whether you’re comfortable with the pace and level of openness in this relationship. It’s essential to strike a balance where both of you feel valued and respected without feeling pressured or overwhelmed.

Remember that relationships, especially those formed later in life, often take time to develop deeper trust and understanding. Her actions don’t necessarily mean she’s not interested; they might just reflect her personal journey and the pace at which she’s comfortable moving. With time, communication, and mutual understanding, you can work together to determine whether your connection has the potential to grow into something more fulfilling and stable.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |466 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Meri wife ka past me 7 saal ka relationship tha lekin wo log apne ghar pe baat nahi kar paye . Wo bolti hai ki usko kb ka bhul gai hai aur mere saath pyaar karti hai kya aisa ho sakta hai, 7 saal bahut badi baat hoti hai
Ans: Jo cheez aapko ab karni chahiye, wo hai apni wife ke saath ek imaandaar aur khuli baat. Aap apne dil ki baat unse bina kisi ilzaam ke share karein, jaise ki, "Mujhe kabhi-kabhi lagta hai ki tumhare purane rishton ka asar hamare present par pad raha hoga. Main tumse is baare mein baat karna chahta hoon taaki mujhe clarity mile aur humare beech aur zyada trust ho."

Unka jawab sunte waqt unhe judge na karein. Shayad unka past ek important hissa tha, lekin iska matlab yeh nahi ki wo apne present mein apko kam mahatvapurn samajhti hain. Kai baar log apne purane jazbat ko samay ke saath puri tarah process karke unhe peeche chhod dete hain, aur yeh natural hai.

Saath hi, khud par bhi dhyan deejiyega. Apne jazbat aur insecurities ko samajhne ki koshish karein. Kai baar humein jo chinta hoti hai wo doosre ke actions ke wajah se nahi, balki humare apne assumptions ke kaaran hoti hai. Aap apne mann ko itna shant rakhne ki koshish karein ki aap apne rishte ko vishwas aur pyar ke saath aage le jaa sakein.

Agar aapko lagta hai ki aap dono ke beech in baaton ko lekar clarity aur emotional connection ki zarurat hai, to ek counselor ya therapist ki madad lena ek accha option ho sakta hai. Yeh aap dono ke rishte ko aur mazboot karne mein madad karega aur past ke koi bhi unresolved jazbat ko resolve karne ka mauka dega.

Yaad rakhiye, ek strong relationship trust, communication aur shared commitment ke bina nahi banta. Agar aap dono sach mein ek-dusre se pyaar karte hain aur ek dusre ka respect karte hain, to har muskil ka hal mil jayega.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |466 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 04, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am in relationship with a girl since 9 years, Yes we have came through a lot of ups & downs in our relationship, constant fights on same things , what i have always observed is that she doesn’t respect my family as my family was not ready for this relationship as future(marriage), so lately i have convinced my family for it & even their family also ready now, I see my family are not happy with this marriage but they are doing for my happiness, since now they are ready, I see very less changes in my gf’s approach towards my family, most of the thing I listen from her mouth are Anti-Family things like separation or against my families thoughts. I am really worried of how my future after marriage considering her, She even asks me to get separated from family, if things doesn’t work between them. Please help me in this situation
Ans: Marriage is not just about love between two people—it’s about aligning values, fostering respect, and building a shared vision for the future. If your girlfriend continues to express "anti-family" sentiments or encourages separation as a solution, it’s worth exploring whether this stems from unresolved fears, insecurities, or deeper incompatibilities in how you both view family relationships. These issues won’t magically resolve after marriage; in fact, they often intensify when unaddressed.

The key here is open communication. Have an honest, non-confrontational conversation with her about your concerns. Share how much it means to you that she respects your family and how her current attitude makes you feel. Equally, try to understand her perspective without judgment. This discussion isn’t about assigning blame but about finding common ground and exploring whether you both can work through these differences.

At the same time, reflect deeply on your own expectations and boundaries. Consider what a happy and fulfilling marriage looks like for you. If respect for your family and shared values about how to navigate family relationships are non-negotiables for you, it’s essential to make that clear and see whether she is willing to meet you halfway.

If these issues feel too difficult to resolve alone, seeking pre-marital counseling or relationship therapy can provide a safe space to address them constructively. Sometimes, having a neutral third party facilitate these conversations can lead to breakthroughs that are hard to achieve on your own.

Remember, marriage is a lifelong commitment, and entering into it with unresolved doubts or concerns can lead to deeper struggles later on. Take the time to ensure that both of you are ready not just to marry but to build a life that respects and honors each other's values and families.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7435 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 04, 2025Hindi
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Money
I am 42 and my husband is 44. We have a corpus of about 4.5 cr , is it sufficient to live rest of our lives if we lose our jobs. We have a house and don't have any loan.
Ans: Your corpus of Rs 4.5 crore, a debt-free home, and no loans are strong financial indicators. Proper planning is essential to ensure this amount supports your future comfortably.

Key Considerations for Financial Security
Estimate Future Expenses
Calculate your current annual household expenses.

Factor in inflation, which erodes purchasing power over time.

Include medical costs, travel, and lifestyle expenses in projections.

Longevity of the Corpus
Your corpus must support expenses for the next 40-50 years.

Plan for rising medical expenses as you age.

Ensure investments generate returns that beat inflation.

Health Coverage
Ensure you have sufficient health insurance for unforeseen medical emergencies.

Evaluate your existing policy to check if it covers critical illnesses.

Avoid dipping into your corpus for medical needs.

Emergency Fund
Maintain a liquid emergency fund for unforeseen expenses.

Keep 12-24 months of expenses in low-risk investments like fixed deposits.

Investment Strategies for Long-Term Stability
Diversification
Avoid keeping the entire corpus in low-yield instruments.

Allocate funds across equity, hybrid, and debt investments.

Equity provides long-term growth, while debt offers stability.

Mutual Funds for Growth
Actively managed equity funds ensure inflation-adjusted returns.

Use balanced advantage funds to reduce risk while achieving growth.

Avoid index funds, as actively managed funds often deliver better returns.

Regular Income from Investments
Use systematic withdrawal plans (SWPs) in mutual funds for monthly income.

Invest in debt funds for stability and predictable returns.

Avoid annuity plans, as they lock your corpus with low returns.

Tax Efficiency
Plan withdrawals considering new mutual fund capital gains taxation rules.

Equity mutual funds: LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Planning for Unforeseen Scenarios
Life Insurance
Ensure adequate term insurance for income replacement.

Your term cover should secure dependents' financial needs.

Medical Emergencies
Build a health emergency fund alongside your health insurance.

Use this fund for uncovered medical expenses.

Lifestyle Adjustments
In case of job loss, adjust discretionary expenses temporarily.

Focus on maintaining essential expenses within the planned corpus.

Monitoring and Review
Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with goals.

Rebalance investments based on performance and changing needs.

Finally
Rs 4.5 crore can support your future if planned and managed well. Prioritise inflation-beating returns and adequate insurance coverage. Focus on a diversified portfolio for stability and growth to meet long-term needs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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