Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Sanjeev

Sanjeev Govila  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Nov 08, 2023

Colonel Sanjeev Govila (retd) is the founder of Hum Fauji Initiatives, a financial planning company dedicated to the armed forces personnel and their families.
He has over 12 years of experience in financial planning and is a SEBI certified registered investment advisor; he is also accredited with AMFI and IRDA.... more
SATISH Question by SATISH on Nov 07, 2023Hindi
Listen
Money

I HAVE SIP OF QUANT SMALL CAP,HDFC SMALL CAP, NIPPON INDIA SMALL CAP,HDFC MIDCAP OPPURINITY FUND, NIPPON INDIA GROWTH GROWTH FUND,KOTAK EMERGING FUND, HDFC FLEXI FUND, CAN ROBECO EMERGING FUND, UTI FLEXI FUND, & HDFC BALANCE ADV. FUND EACH Rs 5000/ FOR 5 YEARS. PL SUGGESTS FOR AGRESSIVE INVESTMENT

Ans: To suggest an investment plan, we need to understand one’s financial situation and investment goals first which include Risk tolerance, Investment goals, Time horizon, etc. Your current SIP portfolio is already highly aggressive, with an Equity: Debt ratio of 95:05 focusing majorly on mid and small-cap stocks. These funds have the potential to generate high returns, but they also come with much higher risk. The suggestible investment portfolio for you will vary depending on your individual needs and circumstances.
Asked on - Nov 12, 2023 | Answered on Nov 15, 2023
Listen
I am 56 year old & investing for 5 years. Target is 1 crore
Ans: Still insufficient information please. Request you to contact a financial advisor and discuss your query in detail.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi I am 42 currently I did SIP of 20k from last 3 years each 1. ELSS each 1k are 1.Axis long term equity 2.mirai asset 3.canara robeco 3.invesco India 4.parag parikh 2.Midcap funds - White Ock 1k 2.Invesco India multi cap fund 1k 3. Thematic fund - 1 Franklin India apportunity fund 5k 4. Multi asset allocation fund - Tata multi asset opp fund 5k 5. Flexi cap fund - 1.kotak multi asset allocator 1k 2.HDFC flexi cap fund 1k 6. Dynamic Asset allocator - Edelweiss balanced Adv 1k 7. Large & Mid cap - Axis growth apportunity fund 1k 8. Small cap fund - Nippon India 1k Suggest me I want invest another 5k
Ans: It's great to see your diversified investment approach through SIPs across various mutual fund categories. Considering your existing portfolio, here's a suggestion for investing an additional 5k:

Given your current allocation, you might want to consider adding to a category where you have relatively lower exposure. Since you already have investments in ELSS, Midcap, Thematic, Multi-Asset Allocation, Flexi Cap, Dynamic Asset Allocator, Large & Mid Cap, and Small Cap funds, you may consider adding to a fund category that complements your existing holdings.

Considering your investment style and the current market scenario, you might want to explore investing in a Balanced Advantage Fund or a Hybrid Equity-Oriented Fund. These funds dynamically allocate between equity and debt instruments based on market conditions, providing a balance of growth potential and downside protection.

Here's a suggested addition to your portfolio:

Balanced Advantage Fund: Invest the additional 5k in a reputable Balanced Advantage Fund that has a proven track record of managing market volatility and delivering consistent returns over the long term.
Ensure you research and select a fund that aligns with your risk tolerance, investment goals, and overall portfolio strategy. Additionally, regularly review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as necessary to stay on track with your financial objectives.

Always remember to consult with a certified financial planner or investment advisor before making any significant changes to your investment strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I'm 39 yr im investing in axis small cap HDFC small cap quant small cap bandhan sterling value fund bandhan elss tax saver dsp tax saver mirrae tax saver HDFC midcap motilal midcap pgim midcap quant active fund quant midcap SBI Magnum mid cap SBI contra ICICI debt and equity fund ICICI value discovery fund uti index fund sbi technology ICICI technology and tata digital some are in sips form and some as lumsum Pl advise me
Ans: You have a diversified investment portfolio that includes small cap, mid cap, value funds, ELSS tax savers, and sector-specific funds. While this diversification is good, there is a need to streamline and optimise your investments for better returns and risk management.

Assessing Your Current Portfolio
Small Cap Funds: Higher potential returns, but also higher risk.
Mid Cap Funds: Balanced growth and risk.
Value Funds: Focus on undervalued stocks with growth potential.
ELSS Funds: Provide tax benefits under Section 80C.
Sector-Specific Funds: Concentrated risk in specific sectors like technology.
Index Fund: Passively managed, low-cost, but limited in flexibility.
Recommendations for Improvement
Streamline Your Portfolio
Consolidate Holdings: Too many funds can dilute returns and complicate management.
Focus on Quality: Choose top-performing funds in each category.
Active vs. Index Funds
Disadvantages of Index Funds:

No Active Management: Lack of flexibility to respond to market changes.
Average Returns: Typically mirror the market index, leading to average performance.
Advantages of Actively Managed Funds:

Professional Expertise: Managed by experienced fund managers.
Better Returns: Potential to outperform the market with strategic investments.
Benefits of Investing Through MFD with CFP Credential
Professional Guidance: Tailored investment advice to align with your financial goals.
Regular Monitoring: Continuous oversight to ensure optimal performance.
Expertise: Access to the knowledge and experience of certified planners.
Suggested Strategy
Evaluate Current Holdings:

Performance Review: Assess the performance of each fund.
Risk Assessment: Determine the risk associated with each fund.
Rebalance Portfolio:

Reduce Overlap: Avoid investing in multiple funds with similar strategies.
Diversify Effectively: Maintain a balance between small cap, mid cap, and value funds.
Increase SIP Contributions:

Annual Increase: Raise SIP amount by 5-10% each year.
Benefit of Compounding: Higher contributions lead to substantial growth over time.
Allocate for Sector-Specific Investments:

Limit Exposure: Sector funds can be volatile. Limit to a small portion of your portfolio.
Focus on Growth Sectors: Invest in sectors with high growth potential.
Regular Review and Adjustments:

Quarterly Review: Monitor fund performance and market trends.
Annual Rebalancing: Adjust portfolio to maintain desired asset allocation.
Health and Emergency Fund
Emergency Fund: Keep at least 6 months of expenses in a liquid form.
Health Coverage: Ensure adequate health insurance coverage for unforeseen medical expenses.
Final Insights
To optimise your investments:

Streamline and Consolidate: Reduce the number of overlapping funds.
Focus on Active Management: Actively managed funds can provide better returns.
Increase SIP Contributions: Regularly increase your SIP investments.
Review and Rebalance: Regularly monitor and adjust your portfolio.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 26, 2024Hindi
Money
HI Sir , My self Sandeep .36 years old .Need your advice on my investments . currently ,I have a monthly SIP of following funds- UTI Nifty 50 Index fund - 3K, HDFC Retirement saving fund-1K, HDFC children Gift fund-1K.I want to invest 7 K more as monthly SIP . I have gone through various analysis and thinking of investing in below manner - 1- 2K as monthly SIP in flexicap - either Parag Parikh Flexicap or JM Flexicap 2- 3k as monthly SIP in ICICIpru nifty 150 midcap index fund /kotak equity opportunity fund/ Motilal oswal midcap Fund 3- 2K in small cap fund - Axis small cap fund/Nippon India small cap fund Kindly suggest the investment strategy and the funds in respective area for next 20 years horizon . Thanks & Regards Sandeep
Ans: Sandeep, it’s great that you are already investing regularly and have a clear plan for long-term wealth creation. Your current SIPs show discipline and thoughtfulness, which are essential for building a solid financial future. Here’s a detailed breakdown of how to approach your additional Rs 7,000 SIP and fine-tune your portfolio for the next 20 years.

Assessing Your Existing Portfolio
UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund (Rs 3,000 SIP): While index funds offer low-cost exposure to the market, they typically follow the market and don’t outperform it. Actively managed funds, when chosen wisely, can potentially give better returns. Though index funds provide simplicity, keep in mind that over the long term, they may miss out on market-beating opportunities.

HDFC Retirement Saving Fund (Rs 1,000 SIP): This is likely a balanced fund meant for long-term retirement planning. Balanced funds are useful as they offer both growth and stability, but they may underperform compared to pure equity funds in a bull market. It’s a good conservative addition to your portfolio, but should not dominate.

HDFC Children’s Gift Fund (Rs 1,000 SIP): Similar to the retirement fund, this fund might focus on long-term stable returns. However, ensure that you evaluate its long-term performance. These kinds of funds sometimes have a more conservative approach than growth-focused equity funds.

Proposed Additional Investments (Rs 7,000 SIP)
You have wisely considered diversifying your portfolio across flexicap, midcap, and small-cap categories. Here’s an assessment of your choices:

1. Flexicap Funds (Rs 2,000 SIP)
Flexicap funds provide flexibility to invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks based on market conditions, which offers a balanced approach to risk and growth.

Your Choice of Parag Parikh Flexicap or JM Flexicap: These funds have flexibility in their investment strategy, making them versatile. Flexicap funds are ideal for navigating different market phases, providing long-term growth potential while managing risk.
Recommendation: Continue with your plan to invest in a flexicap fund as they offer a good balance of diversification and risk-adjusted returns.

2. Midcap Funds (Rs 3,000 SIP)
Midcap funds target companies with strong growth potential but higher volatility. Over the long term, midcap funds tend to outperform large-cap funds, making them suitable for your 20-year horizon.

ICICI Pru Nifty 150 Midcap Index Fund, Kotak Equity Opportunity Fund, or Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund: Midcap index funds track midcap indices, but actively managed midcap funds like Kotak or Motilal Oswal can offer better returns if the fund manager picks strong-performing companies.
Recommendation: Opt for an actively managed midcap fund instead of a midcap index fund. Actively managed funds have a better chance of delivering higher returns over a 20-year horizon by selecting companies with high growth potential.

3. Small Cap Funds (Rs 2,000 SIP)
Small-cap funds target smaller companies, which offer high growth potential but with higher volatility. Over a 20-year period, small caps can significantly enhance your returns but require a longer commitment to ride out the volatility.

Axis Small Cap Fund or Nippon India Small Cap Fund: Both are strong performers, but small-cap funds are highly volatile in the short term. Since your horizon is 20 years, small-cap funds make sense as they can deliver substantial long-term growth.
Recommendation: Invest in a small-cap fund for higher long-term returns, but understand that short-term fluctuations are inevitable.

Key Points for a Balanced Portfolio
Diversification: You have a well-diversified portfolio with a good mix of large-cap (via index), flexicap, midcap, and small-cap funds. This diversification will help balance risk and maximize growth opportunities over time.

Active vs Passive Investing: While index funds (passive) have their place in a portfolio for low-cost exposure, actively managed funds generally offer better opportunities for higher returns, especially in midcap and small-cap categories. With a 20-year horizon, consider focusing more on actively managed funds.

SIP Discipline: Your current strategy of investing via SIP is excellent for long-term wealth creation. SIPs help you ride market volatility, average out costs, and allow consistent investment without trying to time the market.

Considerations for the Long Term
Asset Allocation: As you approach key financial goals (like retirement or children’s education), you may want to gradually reduce exposure to volatile small-cap and midcap funds, shifting more towards large-cap or flexicap funds to safeguard your wealth.

Risk Appetite: Since you’re 36 years old, you have ample time to take on more risk through small-cap and midcap investments. However, always review your risk tolerance every 5 to 10 years to ensure your portfolio remains aligned with your changing financial goals and risk capacity.

Tax Efficiency: Make sure to review the tax implications of your investments. Equity funds enjoy favorable tax treatment, especially over the long term. Any gains held for more than 1 year are taxed at a lower rate (12.5% beyond Rs 1.25 lakh of gains).

Final Insights
You’re on a great path with your disciplined SIP strategy. Diversifying across flexicap, midcap, and small-cap funds will give your portfolio the right mix of stability and growth. Flexicap funds provide the flexibility you need in dynamic market conditions, while midcap and small-cap funds will offer the growth potential needed for your 20-year investment horizon.

Keep in mind to monitor your portfolio annually or biannually to ensure it stays aligned with your long-term goals. Over time, you might want to shift a part of your portfolio to more stable funds, depending on how close you are to achieving your financial goals.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
Money
Iam under debt of Rs 10lac and my salary is 23k per month. How to come out from debt and i need to get debt free. So, please guide me.
Ans: Being in debt can be overwhelming, especially on a limited monthly income. But with disciplined planning and commitment, you can gradually achieve financial freedom. Here’s a detailed guide to help you pay off your Rs 10 lakh debt and build a stable financial foundation.

Step 1: Calculate Your Monthly Expenses and Set a Budget
Start by understanding your cash flow. Track every expense to get a clear picture of your spending.

Essential Expenses: These include rent, food, utilities, and any other basic needs.

Discretionary Expenses: Cut back on non-essentials like dining out, entertainment, and shopping.

Savings and Debt Repayment: Dedicate any amount left after essential expenses towards debt repayment.

Tip: Keep a written budget or use a mobile app to monitor your expenses. Reducing discretionary spending will help increase the amount available for debt repayment.

Step 2: Increase Income if Possible
Boosting income, even slightly, can significantly accelerate debt repayment. Here are some ideas:

Freelance or Part-Time Work: If possible, look for freelance work in areas you’re skilled in, like writing, tutoring, graphic design, or programming.

Overtime or Extra Shifts: If your employer offers overtime, consider taking it on to increase your income.

Sell Unwanted Items: Sell items you no longer need, such as electronics, clothes, or furniture, to generate additional cash.

Increasing your income, even temporarily, can help you pay off your debt faster.

Step 3: Create a Debt Repayment Plan
List all your debts, including outstanding amounts, interest rates, and due dates. Here are two strategies for paying them off:

Snowball Method: Pay off smaller debts first to gain momentum, then tackle larger ones. This provides psychological motivation by clearing debts faster.

Avalanche Method: Focus on debts with the highest interest rates first. This method saves more on interest in the long term.

Choose the strategy that suits you best and start making extra payments each month.

Step 4: Prioritize High-Interest Loans and EMI Payments
Debt with higher interest can escalate quickly, so prioritize clearing them first. Some common examples include:

Credit Card Debt: If part of your debt is on credit cards, try to pay it down as quickly as possible. Credit card interest rates are often the highest.

Personal Loans: If your Rs 10 lakh debt includes high-interest loans, prioritize these over lower-interest obligations.

Contact your creditors to explore if they can reduce your interest rate temporarily. Any reduction helps ease the debt burden.

Step 5: Consider Debt Consolidation Options
Debt consolidation combines multiple loans into a single, lower-interest loan, making it easier to manage. Options include:

Personal Loans: Look for a lower-interest personal loan to pay off existing debts. This can reduce the overall interest burden.

Balance Transfer: If a major portion of your debt is on a credit card, look for a card offering a low or zero-interest balance transfer option.

Be cautious of fees associated with consolidation options and make sure to do thorough research. Consolidation can simplify payments and potentially save you money on interest.

Step 6: Start a Small Emergency Fund
While repaying debt is crucial, having a small emergency fund (around Rs 5,000–Rs 10,000) can help you avoid additional debt. This fund is for unexpected expenses like medical emergencies or car repairs.

Building a small emergency cushion ensures you don’t rely on credit if unplanned expenses arise. Once your debt is cleared, you can gradually build a larger emergency fund.

Step 7: Avoid Taking on New Debt
Avoid credit cards, loans, or any new debt until you’ve repaid the current amount. New debt will delay your goal of becoming debt-free.

Instead of borrowing, prioritize saving for any purchases. Practicing patience with spending decisions will help prevent additional debt.

Step 8: Automate and Regularize Payments
Set up automated payments for your debt EMIs and monthly bills. Automation helps prevent missed payments, which can incur penalties and hurt your credit score.

If automated payments aren’t possible, set reminders to ensure timely payments.

Step 9: Track Progress and Stay Motivated
Track your progress each month and celebrate small wins, such as reaching specific milestones in debt reduction.

Seeing your debt balance decrease, even gradually, can keep you motivated.

Step 10: Seek Professional Guidance If Needed
If you feel overwhelmed, consider seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). They can help you devise a structured plan tailored to your specific financial situation.

A CFP can also provide personalized advice on managing and reducing debt efficiently.

Finally
Your determination to achieve a debt-free life is commendable. By following these steps and staying disciplined, you’ll gradually pay off your debt and move toward financial freedom. Remember, small steps today will lead to a financially secure tomorrow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Listen
Money
Dear sir/Ma'am, I want to invest long term mutual fund for my daughter marriage. She is now 15 years old and i want to invest for 10 years, please advised me which mutual fund best for me. My monthly investment amount is Rs. 5000.00/- please reply soon as soon possible.
Ans: Investing for your daughter's marriage is a thoughtful goal. With 10 years to grow your investment, mutual funds offer a practical approach to help achieve this objective. A disciplined investment of Rs 5000 per month can build a substantial corpus over time. Here’s a comprehensive guide to structuring this investment for long-term success.

Choosing the Right Type of Mutual Funds
For a 10-year horizon, equity mutual funds are suitable. They have the potential for higher returns over time. Considering a diversified mix of equity categories could balance growth with stability.

Equity-Oriented Funds: With their higher growth potential, equity funds can be ideal for long-term goals like marriage. Large-cap funds or diversified equity funds with a mix of large- and mid-cap investments can provide relative stability.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds: These funds allocate a portion to both equity and debt. This approach reduces risk while still capturing growth. Hybrid funds could be a good option to add stability.

Avoid Index Funds: While index funds are popular, they lack flexibility in managing market changes. Actively managed funds, however, allow fund managers to navigate market fluctuations, potentially offering higher returns.

Benefits of Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
When considering direct funds, you miss out on expert guidance, which is vital for long-term investments. Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensure you get continuous support, fund reviews, and performance tracking. They help rebalance your portfolio when required, maximizing your returns and managing risks effectively.

SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) for Steady Growth
Setting up a monthly SIP of Rs 5000 is a practical approach. SIPs allow you to invest consistently, regardless of market highs and lows, which averages out costs over time. This approach, known as “rupee cost averaging,” helps reduce the impact of volatility.

Tax Implications on Mutual Fund Investments
Understanding tax rules on mutual funds is important.

Equity Mutual Funds: Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh attract a 12.5% tax on Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG). Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both STCG and LTCG are taxed based on your income tax slab.

These tax rates are subject to change, so it’s crucial to monitor tax policies periodically. You may consult a tax advisor for updates and efficient tax planning.

Key Investment Tips to Reach Your Goal
Consistency: Stay disciplined with your SIPs to leverage compounding. Missing contributions can reduce the growth potential.

Regular Monitoring: Review fund performance at least once a year. This ensures the selected funds are meeting your expectations and objectives.

Professional Guidance: Consult a CFP periodically to align your investments with your financial plan. They can advise on any required adjustments to optimize your portfolio.

Adjusting for Inflation and Goal Cost
Over time, inflation will impact the cost of your daughter’s marriage. Your CFP can help you estimate the future value and adjust your SIP amount if needed. Gradually increasing the SIP amount can help you meet the target despite inflation.

Final Insights
Your commitment to this goal is commendable. By selecting the right mix of funds, maintaining discipline with SIPs, and staying informed on tax and fund performance, you’ll be well on your way to achieving the desired corpus for your daughter’s marriage.

Invest with confidence, plan regularly, and stay on track toward building a secure financial future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
Hello! I am looking to change my career. Currently, I work as a DTP Operator and Graphic Designer in my maternal uncle's offsset printing press business. My father passed away 8 years ago, so my maternal uncle has taken on the responsibility of me, my mother, and my brother. I have been working under them for the past 5 years as a favor of them. However, there has been no financial growth or development in my current position. But maternal uncle asks me to continue to work with them as their childrens are out of their Offset Printing profession. So they expect me to handle the business in future. But this will not happen. Also I'm not sure of the future scope of Offset Printing Press profession due to digitization. Though my mind is telling me to change profession, as of my financial condtion is weak I would have to start again from zero. I am feeling unsure about what to do?
Ans: Hello.
Presently you are working as a DTP operator and Graphic Designer with your uncle. It seems that due to financial problems, your uncle might be taking undue advantage of your situation and taking it granted that you must work for him and his printing press as a bull for 24x7. You said, your uncle's children are not interested in running the printing press. Hence he is expecting to handle the business in the future. I think this is a golden time to negotiate with your uncle from a business point of view and put some terms and conditions in front of him. You must overtake the printing press fully in your control and share some part of the profit with him. Remember, you are young, have solid experience of 5 years and the most important thing is that, your uncle is not dependent on you only. This makes the situation in your favor. If your uncle is not ready to hand over the printing press business to you, then you have an option to search for another job and tell your uncle also in this regard. I can fairly say, your uncle will not think to lose you under any condition. In life, nothing is impossible, With the hands-on experience of 5 years, you may job in an advertising company and a reputed publishing house. Related to your insecurity feeling, even though you are working with your uncle, you are feeling insecure. Hence either force your uncle to accept your terms and conditions or leave him without any hesitation. Try with new people, new organizations, and new opportunities. A little change will make a big change in your life.
Best of luck for your bright future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship
I (27M) am well Educated & well settled in a High-paying Job. Tall, Handsome & Fit. I am a Sociable & Outgoing person, but I never had a Girlfriend because I believe in having an Arranged Marriage with a Girl from the same Community, who's Family background is known to Parents. I strongly believe in abstaining from any kind of Sexual Intimacy until I get Married, due to my Personal, Moral, Ethical, Emotional as well as Religious & Socio-cultural Values. I'd want to experience even my First Kiss, only after getting Married to my Life Partner. And obviously, I expect my Future Life Partner also to Share similar Values. I cannot settle for Marriage with a Girl who had Pre-marital Sex (or even Kissed) anyone else in a Romantic Relationship, prior to Marriage. I would Reject such a Girl, however Beautiful, Well-Educated & Well-Earning she might be (all other Qualities being Subjective). Now, my Family has started looking up suitable Brides for me, within my Community. The Problem is that most Girls of our Community, in this Generation, are Well Educated & Financially Independent, staying in Cities, away from Parents & most of them, probably had Romantic Relationship(s) & experienced Physical Intimacy, at any Base Level. I know this by closely observing & discussing with many Girls of my Community (including my Female Cousins, Female Friends & Neighbours etc). They all are ridiculing me for my Preferences & advising me to forsake my Values, as they are Outdated in this Age. Now, I am Worried that I might never get to Marry a Girl who shares my Values. My greatest Fear is not ending up Unmarried, but getting Married to a Woman who lies about her Past (I consider it as Cheating). Can you please advise me on, how can I be absolutely Sure that a Girl is an Un-Kissed Virgin? How do I bring up this topic with any Girl before Marriage & ask her, without coming off as Creepy? How can I be Sure whether the Girl is being absolutely Honest about her Past or not? What are some other ways to find out about the Past of a Girl, apart from having an open conversation with herself? Please advise me regarding this, my Heart is not letting me foresake my Values, which are my Core Principles. I am willing to compromise on some other Qualities i.e., I'd happily settle down with a Girl who's Below Average in terms of Looks, Education & even Unemployed, as long as I can be Sure that she's an Un-Kissed Virgin. How can I be absolutely Sure of that?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You don't have to forsake your values based on others' opinions of it. If it makes you happy, you should stick to it. Having said that, you cannot force the same values on others. I understand you want a partner who has a similar mindset. The only way to get what you want is an open conversation- when you speak to a match, you can open up about your outlook and clear it from your end that you want the exact same values in your partner and politely request them to reject the alliance if she has any past relationships or has been intimate with anyone in any form. Let her know that you are not judging her, but this part is very important for you. Make it about yourself, because it is. Do not let the woman feel that there is some flaw in her, or start investigating her past.

Now, coming to your other query, how to be absolutely sure that she is telling the truth about her experiences- there is no such technique. You have to trust her. Moreover, you should understand that as much as you believe your values are important, trust in your partner is equally important in having a healthy and happy relationship. While you work on finding the partner of your choice, work on having a little more faith in people.
Hope this helps.

Best Wishes

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x