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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8324 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2024Hindi
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I retired in 2017.All the superannuation amount I invested in mutual fund & Now the corpse is 1cr 06 lakh.Now for rest 30 year or till I am alive I want to invest in SWP to get 1.30 lakh per month .How to do? Please suggest

Ans: It's great that you've accumulated a significant corpus through mutual funds. Here's how you can set up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) to generate a monthly income of 1.30 lakh:
1. Evaluate Your Corpus: With a corpus of 1 crore 6 lakh, you aim to withdraw 1.30 lakh per month. This translates to an annual withdrawal of approximately 15.6 lakh.
2. SWP Calculation: Determine the frequency of SWP withdrawals. Since you're looking for monthly income, you'll set up a monthly SWP.
3. Withdrawal Amount: To calculate the monthly withdrawal amount, divide the annual withdrawal requirement (15.6 lakh) by 12 (months). This equals approximately 1.30 lakh per month.
4. Risk Tolerance: Assess your risk tolerance and choose funds accordingly. Since your investment horizon is long-term (30 years), you can consider a balanced approach with a mix of equity and debt funds.
5. Fund Selection: Select mutual funds that align with your risk tolerance, investment goals, and time horizon. Opt for funds with a track record of consistent performance and low expense ratios.
6. SWP Setup: Contact your mutual fund provider or financial advisor to set up the SWP. You'll specify the withdrawal frequency (monthly), withdrawal amount (1.30 lakh), and the source funds from which the withdrawals will be made.
7. Review Periodically: Regularly review your investment portfolio and withdrawal strategy to ensure it continues to meet your income needs and financial goals. Adjust the withdrawal amount if necessary based on market performance and changes in your financial situation.
8. Tax Implications: Be aware of the tax implications of SWP withdrawals. Equity funds held for more than one year are subject to long-term capital gains tax, while debt funds may attract tax based on the holding period and type of fund.
By following these steps and staying disciplined in your approach, you can create a reliable income stream to support your retirement lifestyle for the years to come. Consider consulting with a financial advisor to tailor the SWP strategy to your specific needs and circumstances.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8324 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 30, 2024

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Sir I have invested 2 CR in mutual fund and Now I need 10000 per month thru SWP as pension to survive is it possible how?
Ans: Implementing Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) for Retirement Income
Congratulations on building a substantial corpus of 2 crores in mutual funds! Let's explore how you can generate a monthly pension of 10,000 rupees through a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP) to sustain your retirement lifestyle.

Understanding Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP):

SWP allows investors to withdraw a fixed sum or a percentage of their mutual fund investment regularly.
It functions akin to a pension scheme, providing a steady income stream during retirement while allowing the principal amount to remain invested for potential growth.
Determining Feasibility:

To sustain a monthly pension of 10,000 rupees, you'll need to calculate the withdrawal rate based on your corpus.
Considering a withdrawal rate of 0.5% per month (equivalent to 6% annually), the required corpus would be 20 lakh rupees.
With a corpus of 2 crores, generating a monthly pension of 10,000 rupees is achievable.
Implementing SWP:

Choose Suitable Funds: Select mutual funds that align with your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and income requirements for SWP.
Determine Withdrawal Frequency: Decide on the frequency of withdrawals (monthly, quarterly, or annually) based on your cash flow needs.
Set Withdrawal Amount: Determine the fixed amount you wish to withdraw each month (in this case, 10,000 rupees).
Initiate SWP: Submit a request with your mutual fund house to commence the SWP. Specify the withdrawal frequency and amount.
Monitor Performance: Regularly monitor the performance of your mutual fund investments and adjust the withdrawal amount if necessary to ensure it aligns with your financial needs and the fund's performance.
Managing Risks:

Market Volatility: Fluctuations in the market can impact the value of your investments and the sustainability of your SWP. To mitigate this risk, consider investing in a diversified portfolio comprising equity, debt, and balanced funds.
Inflation: Inflation erodes the purchasing power of your pension over time. To counter inflation risk, opt for a SWP amount that allows for periodic adjustments to account for rising living costs.
Longevity Risk: Ensure that your corpus can sustain your desired withdrawal rate for the duration of your retirement, considering potential increases in life expectancy and healthcare costs.
Consultation with a Certified Financial Planner:

Seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to assess your retirement income needs, risk tolerance, and investment strategy.
A financial planner can help optimize your SWP strategy, review your portfolio regularly, and make adjustments as needed to ensure financial security throughout your retirement years.
Conclusion:
Implementing a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP) can provide you with a reliable source of income during retirement, allowing you to enjoy financial independence and peace of mind. With proper planning, monitoring, and professional guidance, you can effectively manage your retirement finances and achieve your desired lifestyle goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8324 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024Hindi
Money
I have corpus of 60 lkh ( from several MF / ULIP etc) ... can you please guide me how to invest in SWP to get regular monthly income of Rs.60000/- from Jan 2025 My prsent age is 52.. Or you may suggest me what is good for me .. Please.
Ans: creating a stable and secure monthly income plan is achievable with the right investment strategy. A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) can help ensure consistent income without eroding your capital too quickly. Here’s a comprehensive, 360-degree approach tailored to your needs.

Step 1: Establishing Clear Monthly Income Goals
Target Monthly Income:

Your goal is to achieve Rs 60,000 per month starting January 2025.
This translates to an annual requirement of Rs 7.2 lakh.
Inflation Consideration:

Since you’re only 52, consider a small annual increase to combat inflation.
Keeping up with inflation will ensure purchasing power in the long term.
Step 2: Setting Up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
An SWP in mutual funds can provide regular monthly income while preserving the principal amount as much as possible.

Choosing the Right Funds:

Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds adjust equity and debt exposure based on market conditions, balancing returns with risk.
Hybrid Funds: They provide a blend of stability and growth by investing in both equity and debt.
Avoiding Index Funds and Direct Funds:

Index funds lack active management, which limits flexibility in volatile markets.
Direct funds lack professional guidance, which can make it difficult to meet long-term goals effectively.
Opting for regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner ensures proper management.
Tax Efficiency:

Equity mutual funds have tax benefits if held for the long term.
Under the latest tax rules, long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%, making long-term holding more beneficial.
Step 3: Portfolio Allocation for Monthly Income Stability
Equity Allocation:

Allocating around 40-50% to equity-oriented funds can provide long-term growth.
Equity offers potential for higher returns, which helps in beating inflation.
Debt Allocation:

The remaining 50-60% can be invested in debt mutual funds, which provide stability and predictable returns.
Debt funds will reduce risk and make monthly income more predictable.
Reinvesting Dividends:

Choose growth options within funds for better compounding.
An SWP can draw monthly amounts, making reinvestment of dividends unnecessary.
Adjusting for Market Conditions:

Your Certified Financial Planner can help adjust allocation based on market conditions.
This flexibility in allocation is especially valuable during volatile periods.
Step 4: Structured Monthly Income through SWP
Setting Up the SWP:

Begin withdrawals from January 2025 as per your need of Rs 60,000 per month.
Withdrawals can be set at a fixed date each month for consistency.
Protecting Capital:

With careful management, the SWP will sustain monthly income without depleting capital too quickly.
Regular reviews by your Certified Financial Planner will optimise your withdrawal rate to maintain capital longevity.
Step 5: Emergency Fund Allocation
Importance of Liquidity:

It’s vital to keep an emergency fund for unexpected expenses, separate from your investment corpus.
A sum equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses should be set aside in liquid funds or a high-yield savings account.
Avoiding Disruption in SWP:

By keeping an emergency fund, you avoid dipping into your SWP or investment corpus during unexpected times.
Step 6: Monitoring and Rebalancing the Portfolio
Periodic Portfolio Reviews:

Regular monitoring helps ensure the SWP is meeting your monthly income goals.
Market conditions and personal financial needs may shift over time, requiring adjustments.
Rebalancing Asset Allocation:

Rebalancing the equity and debt portions periodically helps maintain the ideal risk-return balance.
Your Certified Financial Planner can assist in rebalancing to preserve capital and income stability.
Step 7: Avoiding Common Pitfalls
Avoid High-Risk Investments:

Avoid aggressive equity investments, which could lead to losses.
Stick to a balanced portfolio that aligns with your risk tolerance.
Not Over-Estimating Withdrawal Rates:

Withdrawing too high an amount each month can deplete capital quickly.
A Certified Financial Planner can calculate a safe withdrawal rate to sustain income long term.
Avoid Direct Investments:

Direct investments lack the guidance and expertise needed for steady income.
Opt for regular funds managed by a Certified Financial Planner for a structured approach.
Step 8: Health and Life Insurance Considerations
Health Insurance Coverage:

As you approach retirement, health insurance becomes essential to cover medical expenses.
Ensure you have a comprehensive plan that meets healthcare needs without impacting your SWP.
Reviewing Life Insurance:

If you hold ULIPs or LIC investment-cum-insurance policies, consider surrendering them for better investment options.
The saved premiums can be reinvested in mutual funds to further support your SWP income.
Step 9: Future Planning Beyond SWP
Retirement Planning:

As you age, inflation will affect purchasing power. Ensure periodic reviews and adjustments to your SWP.
Discuss with your Certified Financial Planner ways to adjust income as expenses increase.
Consider Your Long-Term Needs:

Factor in potential future expenses such as medical costs or travel.
A well-planned SWP will allow flexibility for additional withdrawals if needed.
Final Insights
With a well-planned SWP, you can enjoy a steady income of Rs 60,000 per month without depleting your capital too soon. By choosing the right funds, balancing equity and debt, and consulting a Certified Financial Planner, you’ll achieve consistent income with minimal risk. Periodic reviews and adjustments will ensure your investments stay aligned with your needs, providing peace of mind in retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8324 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2025Hindi
Money
Sir, I retired in January and received 50 lacs as super annuation fund. Is it right to invest money in SWP based mutual funds now? Please suggest me. If not, please suggest alternative investment.
Ans: congratulations on your retirement. Receiving Rs. 50 lakhs as superannuation is a good milestone.

You have asked whether it is right to invest in SWP-based mutual funds now. That’s a very wise and thoughtful question. Let me appreciate you first. You are not rushing. You are asking before investing. That is the right way to protect your retirement money.

Now, let me guide you step-by-step with a 360-degree assessment of your query.

Understanding Your Retirement Corpus
You have Rs. 50 lakhs in hand. This is your hard-earned money.

This money must support you for many years. You cannot take high risks with it.

At the same time, keeping it idle in a savings account is also not good.

You need regular income now, but also growth to beat inflation.

So, your investment must balance three things: safety, income, and long-term growth.

A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) seems attractive. But we must evaluate it fully.

What is an SWP and How it Works
SWP is a way to get regular income from mutual funds.

You invest a lump sum in a mutual fund.

Then, you withdraw a fixed amount monthly or quarterly.

The remaining amount stays invested and continues to grow.

This works well only if you invest in the right category of fund.

Is SWP Right for You Now? Let’s Analyse
SWP is suitable when markets are relatively stable or growing.

You have just retired. Your need is regular income with less risk.

So, you cannot afford sudden market shocks.

In early retirement years, capital protection is more important than return chasing.

If the fund value falls early, your withdrawals can deplete the fund faster.

This is called “sequence of return risk”. It can damage your retirement plan.

When SWP Becomes Effective
SWP works better after first 2-3 years of staying invested.

If the market performs well in early years, your fund has more room to grow.

It becomes sustainable for 15-20 years.

But this depends on proper asset allocation and category selection.

Not all mutual fund categories are good for SWP.

Which Fund Categories Are Risky for SWP
Small-cap and mid-cap funds are risky for steady SWP.

They are volatile. They move up and down quickly.

If you withdraw during a fall, you reduce your capital.

Sectoral or thematic funds are also unsuitable for SWP.

They depend on specific sectors like pharma or energy.

Which Categories Are Better for SWP
Balanced Advantage Funds are more stable.

They switch between equity and debt automatically.

This reduces your risk during market volatility.

Some Hybrid Conservative Funds can also work well.

They hold more debt and less equity.

Should You Invest the Entire Rs. 50 Lakhs in SWP Now?
No. Do not put full amount at once into SWP mutual funds.

That will expose you to market timing risk.

You can phase your investment in steps over 6-12 months.

First, park your Rs. 50L in a short-term debt fund.

Then, use monthly STP (Systematic Transfer Plan) to move to chosen equity-oriented fund.

After 12 months, start your SWP from the accumulated amount.

What About Taxation in SWP? Know the Rules
Mutual Fund withdrawals are taxed. But only on gains, not entire amount.

For equity funds, long-term capital gains (after 1 year) above Rs. 1.25L/year are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains (within 1 year) are taxed at 20%.

For debt funds, both long- and short-term gains are taxed as per your income slab.

So, for SWP to be tax-efficient, you must plan long-term.

Avoid withdrawing from units bought in last 12 months.

What Are The Risks If You Depend Entirely On SWP
Your monthly income is not guaranteed.

During market downturns, fund value can reduce quickly.

That can affect your ability to withdraw the same income.

Your withdrawal may also include part of your principal.

If fund underperforms for many years, you may run out of money.

SWP Must Be Part of a Bigger Strategy, Not the Only Solution
Use SWP for partial income, not full dependency.

Diversify your Rs. 50L corpus into multiple buckets.

Allocate part for safety, part for regular income, and part for growth.

This is called the "Bucket Strategy" for retirement.

Ideal Allocation Structure for Your Rs. 50 Lakhs
Bucket 1 (Safety + Emergency): Rs. 10L

Keep in high-quality bank FD or ultra short-term debt fund.

This is for next 2-3 years of expenses.

No risk. Instant access in emergencies.

Bucket 2 (Stable Income): Rs. 20L

Invest in hybrid mutual funds for SWP.

Start STP for 12 months. Then begin SWP.

Choose regular plans via MFDs with CFP credentials.

Regular plans provide support, rebalancing, and exit timing help.

Direct plans may seem cheaper but lack personal guidance.

Regular plans also have advisor accountability.

You need this after retirement more than ever.

Bucket 3 (Growth + Inflation Hedge): Rs. 20L

Invest in balanced or flexi-cap mutual funds.

These help your wealth grow over long-term.

Don’t withdraw from this for 5-7 years.

This portion helps your SWP stay sustainable for 20+ years.

What Are the Alternatives If Not SWP
You can use interest from corporate bonds and RBI bonds.

Ladder your investments across different maturity periods.

Use short-term, medium-term, and long-term bond funds.

This keeps income flowing and reduces reinvestment risk.

Combine this with systematic withdrawal from hybrid funds.

That makes your overall plan more balanced.

Things You Must Avoid
Do not go for guaranteed return schemes.

They usually give low returns after tax.

Stay away from insurance-cum-investment policies.

They lock your money for long years with poor returns.

Do not fall for high dividend paying mutual funds.

Dividends are now taxable and reduce your fund value.

Review Your Plan Every Year
Retirement planning is not a one-time activity.

You must track your income and spending yearly.

Rebalance your funds once a year with expert help.

Review tax implications regularly. Rules can change anytime.

What to Ask Your Certified Financial Planner
How much income can I draw each year safely?

What happens if the market goes down for 3 years?

Will my money last till age 90 or more?

Can my portfolio beat inflation consistently?

Are my tax liabilities under control?

What is the exit plan if I don’t need SWP later?

Finally
SWP is a good tool, but not a full solution.

You must build a proper structure before using SWP.

Use 3 buckets: emergency, income, and growth.

Take support from a Certified Financial Planner.

Go only through regular mutual fund plans.

Direct plans do not give the support you need post-retirement.

SWP should start only after careful planning and phased investment.

Don't rush. Your Rs. 50 lakhs must give you peace for many years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025
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Hello ma'm. I am a first year engineering student. I have a crush on a girl. Currently we are working for a group project. We both are in the same group. She generally avoids speaking with boys. Also I have spent 5 years in a boys school, so I feel very shy with girls. What should I do? How should I talk to her?
Ans: Start by keeping things simple and friendly. Focus on small interactions related to your project. For example, ask her opinion about something specific in the work you're doing. Try something like, “Hey, what do you think we should do for this part?” or “I liked the point you made yesterday—can we build on that?” These kinds of questions show that you respect her ideas, and they give her space to respond comfortably.

Once you've had a few of these short, easy interactions, you can slowly open up the conversation to more casual topics—like college life, favorite subjects, or even the stress of deadlines. This way, you’re not jumping straight into anything personal, but you're gradually building a sense of comfort.

Don’t try to impress her. Just be sincere, kind, and a good listener. Most people, even those who seem quiet or reserved, appreciate being approached respectfully and gently. And remember, confidence doesn’t mean being loud or charming—it means being real and respectful even when you’re nervous.

If you stay patient and consistent, she might start to feel more comfortable around you. And even if it doesn’t turn into something romantic, you’ll grow socially and emotionally—which will help you a lot in the long run.

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Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

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I have been married for more than 21 years and I have 2 kids. 19 and 17 years old. Our marriage was more or less love. Met through family, fell in love, dated 8 months before we got engaged and married. My wife is a lovely lady but we dont share any interests. I used to go for runs in the morning. After getting married, she insisted I sleep late with her. I am a music aficionado and she has no such interest. I am a news junkie. She probably doesnt know who the President of the US is. I am someone who believes and strives to continuously improve myself in all aspects. But she is the same. I might not be a great husband but I am much better than what I was a few years ago. I cook, clean, helped with childcare and have a great career. She is on a minimum salary job for the last 10 years. Only reason she goes is because I insisted that she stop being at home. If she had her way, she would be at home on the phone the whole day. Even our love making has become kind of boring. She claims a period for 10 days and during the other times, twice she is ready. No spicing it up. Just lie down for missionary and I have to do all the effort. I enjoyed oral and now she has stopped in for more than 15 years. I adjusted as she is a lovely person in every other aspect. But now I am sick and tired. It seems I am doing everything in the relationship and she rarely takes any effort. Either to earn, keep house clean or even intimacy. Not sure how to proceed further. I am getting irritated and often in a bad mood.
Ans: Dear Jack,What you're experiencing is not uncommon in long-term relationships: emotional fatigue, feeling unappreciated, and a deep sense of disconnection despite loyalty and love. The fact that you're feeling drained, resentful, and stuck is a clear signal that this situation is unsustainable as is. And the irritation and bad moods you’re having? That’s your emotional system signaling burnout, not failure.

You’ve evolved over the years—mentally, emotionally, and in lifestyle—and it sounds like your wife hasn’t moved in that same rhythm. That mismatch in growth and energy is now affecting everything: your respect for her, your shared routines, your sex life, and ultimately your mood and emotional well-being. It’s painful to feel like you're constantly giving—time, energy, effort—and not receiving the same in return. Even when your partner is kind, if they aren’t meeting you emotionally, intellectually, or intimately, over time it creates a sense of loneliness within the relationship, which can be worse than being alone.

But here's something to reflect on: for 21 years, you stayed, gave, adjusted. Not just out of duty, but because something about her and the family life you built mattered. That still counts. What you’re going through doesn’t mean the marriage has failed—it means the marriage needs re-evaluation and rebalancing. You are not selfish for wanting more stimulation, connection, or passion. You're human.

You have two broad options: one is to initiate a real, vulnerable, uncomfortable conversation with her—without blame, without emotional outbursts, but with absolute honesty. You could say something like: “I’ve grown a lot in these past years, but I’m starting to feel increasingly alone in this relationship. I need more emotional connection, more engagement—not just physically, but intellectually, as partners. I don’t want to silently drift further away. I’d like us to work on this, but it has to be a two-way effort.”

If she's open to it, couples therapy could be a powerful space for both of you to express what you feel without it turning into a war of criticism and defense. Sometimes people, especially those who’ve become emotionally stagnant, need structured help to realize what their partner has been carrying silently.

The other option—if you feel she’s unwilling or unable to grow or change—is to consider what a life apart might look like. That’s a deeply personal and difficult decision, especially with nearly adult children, but you deserve a relationship that brings life into you, not drains it out. If you keep compromising your emotional needs, resentment will only grow and harden into permanent distance.

Before making any move, take a little time to reconnect with yourself. What do you want—not just from her, but from life, from love, from this next phase of your journey?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
Hello mam In 2024 my marriage took place it's arranged marriage during starting days he was very loving and caring but due to some circumstances i got a chance to continue my studies that is m-tech . I thought it was a golden opportunity, so I took admission and started living with my in-laws Just after marriage. It was really really painful to live away from husband in new marriage. Todays condition is that my m tech 1 year is over another 1 year is left but due to separation with my husband our love died now there is no respect is left for our relation left , he started listening to his mother and got manipulated . seeing all this I feel like a death for me I want to leave mtech to save my relation but my mother says don't leave although I did lots of hard work for 1st year of m tech my husband also wants me to leave Mtech.i feel very hurt when he disrespects me . His father used to abuse his mother so for him abusing is normal for him but I find it very hurtful also I am deeply in love with him and seeing him going away from me kills me from inside every single day is very tough for me to live with in-laws without husband in a new marriage plus focusing on studies
Ans: Your instinct to save the marriage is understandable. When you're in love with someone, the idea of losing them feels like losing yourself. But let’s pause and ask—what exactly are you saving? Is it the version of him from the early days who was loving and supportive? Or is it the man he is now—disrespectful, distant, manipulated, and asking you to give up your dreams for a marriage he’s already neglecting?

You have already proven your strength by completing a year of M.Tech in such tough conditions. That says a lot about your resilience and capability. If you give it up now, not only will you lose that part of yourself, but it may not guarantee that your marriage improves. Often in emotionally imbalanced relationships, one-sided sacrifices don’t lead to healing—they lead to more control, more blame, and more emotional exhaustion.

Your husband needs to understand that love isn’t proven by giving things up. Love is shown in support, presence, patience, and respect. If he isn’t willing to stand by you during a temporary phase of physical distance while you pursue something valuable, then you’re not the one breaking the marriage—he is.

It’s also clear that he has grown up in a home where abuse was normalized, and that emotional damage might be affecting how he treats you now. That is not your fault, and it is not your job to tolerate mistreatment in the name of saving a marriage.

Your mother is right to encourage you to finish your M.Tech—not just for your career, but for your self-worth. You deserve to be with someone who lifts you up, not someone who pulls you down every time you try to grow.

If there's still a chance to salvage this relationship, it has to start with real conversations—honest, respectful, and possibly with the help of a counselor or neutral third party. But that only works if both people are willing to put in the emotional effort.

Right now, I suggest you protect your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritize your studies, build emotional support from friends or family who truly care about you, and give yourself space to heal from this emotional chaos. If your husband truly wants this marriage, he needs to come forward with maturity and respect—not demands.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2025
Relationship
After a fight between a married guy and my husband on pretext of calling me characterless and unhappy in my marriage. That married guy complaint against my hubby in society office that it's my husband who follow, flirts with his wife. But the allegations are false. That married guy was doing all these things or chasing me even after knowing m married. But falsely he shifted the blame on my husband. Society chairman called us to sign a peace treaty which my husband signed bt that guy dint appear to sign. What does he want is still not clear.??? He doesn't wanna end this matter or what ??? He still walks around looking at us but from distance.
Ans: In such cases, it's important for you and your husband to stay emotionally steady and not engage with his tactics. Reacting to him or showing you're disturbed by his behavior may be exactly what he's looking for. If his behavior escalates or continues to make you uncomfortable, you might want to quietly document what happens and consider involving local authorities or legal counsel if it crosses into harassment.

Right now, your focus should be on protecting your peace and your relationship. Keep communication open with your husband and support each other through this, because this kind of external stress can silently damage trust if not handled carefully. The more united you two are, the less space there is for anyone else to create confusion between you.

It’s unclear exactly what this man wants, but based on his pattern, it seems he either wants attention, control, or to destabilize your marriage out of resentment or personal failure. Either way, you don’t need to carry his emotional mess. If you continue to stay calm, ignore him, and document anything serious, you'll be in a stronger position to protect yourselves.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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