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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
Money

Sir Namaskara I am 40 years old and have one daughter aged 8 years. my salary is 90k wife is homemaker. I have home loan of 29k and I can invest 15k monthly in sip ,mutual fund, Term plan My goal is to build corpus for our retirement and higher education of our daughter / marriage. Can I invest in SBI SIP or mutual fund, if so pls suggest which SIP or mutual fund I can invest in and for how many years and I don't have any insurance policies except for the ones provided by company for which every month 350 amount is deducted from our salary. Does taking term insurance is good and how many years do I take the insurance for. I am unable to decide whether to go with HDFC or maxlife...please suggest Thank you for your time and suggestions in advance ????

Ans: I understand your situation and I'm here to help. Your goals for retirement, your daughter's higher education, and marriage are very important. Let's go through this step by step.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
You're 40 years old with a salary of Rs 90,000 per month. Your wife is a homemaker, and you have an 8-year-old daughter. Your home loan EMI is Rs 29,000, leaving you with Rs 61,000 for other expenses and investments. You can invest Rs 15,000 monthly in SIPs and mutual funds. You also mentioned you lack insurance policies except the one provided by your company.

Goal Setting and Prioritizing
Your main financial goals are:

Retirement Planning: You need a substantial corpus to ensure a comfortable retirement.

Higher Education for Your Daughter: Education costs are rising, so early planning is crucial.

Marriage Expenses for Your Daughter: Saving for this ensures you're prepared for future expenses.

Investment Strategy: Mutual Funds and SIPs
Investing Rs 15,000 monthly in SIPs and mutual funds is a good strategy. Let's look at how you can distribute this amount.

Diversification for Balanced Growth
Diversifying your investments can manage risk and provide better returns. Here's a suggested breakdown:

Equity Mutual Funds: Allocate 60% (Rs 9,000) to equity mutual funds. These funds offer higher returns over the long term, ideal for retirement and long-term goals.

Debt Mutual Funds: Allocate 30% (Rs 4,500) to debt mutual funds. These funds provide stability and lower risk, balancing your portfolio.

Hybrid Mutual Funds: Allocate 10% (Rs 1,500) to hybrid funds. They combine equity and debt, providing moderate growth with controlled risk.

Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds
Index funds track the market, which can be volatile. For better returns, consider actively managed funds. These are managed by professionals who aim to outperform the market. Though they have higher fees, the potential for better returns is worth it.

Benefits of Regular Funds Through an MFD with CFP Credential
Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) who is also a CFP can be advantageous. They provide personalized advice and help choose the right mix of funds. Regular funds, managed by professionals, adapt to market conditions and potentially offer better returns than direct funds.

Term Insurance: A Necessary Safety Net
Term insurance is essential for financial security. It ensures your family's future is protected in case of unforeseen circumstances. Here's why you need term insurance:

Financial Protection: It provides a financial safety net for your family.

Low Cost: Term insurance is affordable, especially when compared to other insurance types.

Sufficient Coverage: Choose a coverage amount that can replace your income and pay off liabilities.

Duration of Term Insurance
Take a term insurance policy that covers you till your retirement age, ideally up to 60-65 years. This ensures your family is protected during your working years.

Evaluating Insurance Providers
Both HDFC and Max Life offer good term insurance plans. Here’s what to consider:

Claim Settlement Ratio: A higher ratio indicates a better track record of settling claims.

Premium Costs: Compare the premium costs and choose one that fits your budget.

Rider Benefits: Look for additional benefits like critical illness cover, accidental death cover, etc.

Building a Retirement Corpus
Retirement planning is crucial. Start early and invest consistently. Here’s a strategy:

Long-term Equity Investments: Continue with equity mutual funds for long-term growth. They provide higher returns over time.

Regular Review and Rebalancing: Monitor your portfolio and adjust it based on your age and risk appetite.

Emergency Fund: Keep an emergency fund equal to 6-12 months of expenses. This covers unforeseen events and prevents dipping into your investments.

Higher Education and Marriage Corpus for Your Daughter
Education and marriage costs can be substantial. Here's how to plan for them:

Start Early: The earlier you start, the better. Compounding works in your favor.

Goal-based Investments: Allocate specific investments for education and marriage. Consider equity and hybrid funds for long-term growth.

Review Periodically: Review your investments regularly to ensure they align with your goals.

Advantages of Professional Management
A CFP can provide valuable insights and personalized advice. Here’s why professional management helps:

Expertise: They understand market dynamics and help choose the right funds.

Tailored Advice: They provide advice based on your specific goals and risk appetite.

Ongoing Support: Regular reviews and adjustments ensure your investments stay on track.

Importance of Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly monitoring your investments ensures they stay aligned with your goals. Market conditions change, and so should your portfolio. Rebalancing helps maintain the desired asset allocation and manage risk.

Tax Considerations
Mutual fund investments come with tax implications. Understanding these can help optimize your returns:

Equity Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) are tax-free up to Rs 1 lakh per year. Beyond this, it's taxed at 10%.

Debt Funds: Long-term gains are taxed at 20% with indexation benefits. Short-term gains are taxed as per your income slab.


Your proactive approach to financial planning is commendable. Taking steps now to secure your future shows foresight and responsibility.


I understand the importance of your goals. Education and marriage for your daughter, along with a comfortable retirement, are crucial milestones. Your dedication to planning is truly admirable.

Final Insights
Investing Rs 15,000 monthly in SIPs and mutual funds, coupled with term insurance, is a sound strategy. Diversify your investments across equity, debt, and hybrid funds for balanced growth and stability. Actively managed funds offer better potential returns, making them a preferable choice over index funds. Professional guidance from a CFP ensures your investments are well-managed and aligned with your goals.

Take a term insurance policy to protect your family's future. Choose a policy with sufficient coverage, ideally till your retirement age. Regularly monitor and rebalance your portfolio to stay on track. Your commitment to financial planning is praiseworthy, and with the right strategy, you can achieve your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Money
Sir I am 37 year old ... having salary of 1.2 lacs per months and want to save money for child higher education and daughter martiage. Have 48 lakhs in fd's and PF account is having 18 laksh and will receive 20 lakhs in 2027 from LIC Please suggest how to invest in SIP currently having 50000 lumsump in Sbi energy opportunities fund, lumsump 50000 in SBI AUTO Hdfc noncyclic consumer fund Sip of 3000 Edelweiss small cap fund sip of 4000 Kotak emerging equity fund sip of. 3000 NJFlexi cap 1500, Hdfc multicap fund SIP of 1500 (50000 lumsum) Icici prudential value discovery fund sip of 1000 Total SIP per month 14500 and will increase to 30000 Please review my mutual fund portfolio as i dont have any knowledge and suggest if i have chossen correct category with mutual fund name or need to switch Waiting for your suggestion and thanks in advance
Ans: First, I want to commend you for taking proactive steps towards securing your family’s future. Planning for your children’s education and your daughter's marriage is crucial. Your current salary and savings indicate that you are on a strong financial path.

You’ve done well to accumulate Rs. 48 lakhs in Fixed Deposits and Provident Funds, and you have Rs. 18 lakhs in your PF account. Additionally, you’ll receive Rs. 20 lakhs from your LIC policy in 2027. These are significant assets that provide a solid foundation for your financial planning.

Your monthly income of Rs. 1.2 lakhs and your commitment to SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) show that you are already disciplined with your investments. Let's review your portfolio and explore how you can enhance it to meet your goals effectively.

Reviewing Your Current Mutual Fund Portfolio
Lump Sum Investments:

Rs. 50,000 in SBI Energy Opportunities Fund
Rs. 50,000 in SBI Auto Fund
Rs. 50,000 in HDFC Non-Cyclic Consumer Fund
Monthly SIPs:

Rs. 3,000 in Edelweiss Small Cap Fund
Rs. 4,000 in Kotak Emerging Equity Fund
Rs. 1,500 in NJ Flexi Cap Fund
Rs. 1,500 in HDFC Multi-Cap Fund (Plus Rs. 50,000 lump sum)
Rs. 1,000 in ICICI Prudential Value Discovery Fund
Total SIP per month: Rs. 14,500, with plans to increase to Rs. 30,000.

You have chosen a mix of funds across different sectors and market caps. This diversification is a good start, but let’s refine your strategy.

Diversification and Fund Selection
Your portfolio covers various market segments, which is excellent. Diversification reduces risk and provides stability. However, there are a few areas to consider:

Sector Funds:

Sector funds like Energy and Auto can be volatile. While they offer high growth potential, they are also riskier. It's important to balance them with more stable, diversified funds.
Cap Exposure:

You have exposure to small-cap (Edelweiss Small Cap Fund) and mid-cap (Kotak Emerging Equity Fund) funds. These can offer high returns but are riskier compared to large-cap or multi-cap funds. Ensure you are comfortable with this risk level.
Flexi Cap and Multi-Cap Funds:

Funds like NJ Flexi Cap and HDFC Multi-Cap provide flexibility and exposure across various market caps. These funds can adjust their portfolio based on market conditions, offering a balanced approach.
Value Funds:

ICICI Prudential Value Discovery Fund focuses on undervalued stocks, which can be a good long-term strategy but might not perform consistently in the short term.
Optimizing Your Investment Strategy
Given your goals, it's essential to align your investments with your risk tolerance and time horizon. Here’s a refined approach:

Reduce Sector Concentration:

Consider reallocating some funds from sector-specific investments (like Energy and Auto) to more diversified funds. Sector funds can be part of your portfolio, but they should not dominate it.
Increase Large-Cap Exposure:

Large-cap funds offer stability and consistent returns. Increasing your allocation in large-cap or blue-chip funds can provide a solid foundation, especially considering your goals of funding education and marriage.
Balanced Fund Allocation:

Maintain a balanced approach with a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. This strategy provides growth potential while managing risk. Multi-cap and flexi-cap funds are good choices for maintaining balance.
Review and Rebalance Regularly:

Markets fluctuate, and your financial situation might change. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals. A quarterly or annual review is advisable.
Increasing Your SIP Contributions
You plan to increase your SIP contributions from Rs. 14,500 to Rs. 30,000. This is a positive step towards achieving your financial goals. Here's how to approach it:

Gradual Increase:

Gradually increase your SIP amounts in existing funds or consider adding new funds that align with your investment strategy. This helps in averaging out the cost and managing cash flow effectively.
Prioritize Long-Term Goals:

Allocate more to funds with a long-term horizon, such as those targeting your children’s education. Equity funds with a long-term focus are ideal for this purpose due to their potential for higher returns.
Emergency Fund and Short-Term Goals:

Ensure you have an emergency fund to cover at least 6 months of expenses. For short-term goals like your daughter's marriage, consider more stable, debt-oriented funds or balanced funds that offer lower risk and steady returns.
Role of Fixed Deposits and LIC Policies
Fixed Deposits:

Your Rs. 48 lakhs in FDs provide a safety net and assured returns. While FDs are secure, their returns might not outpace inflation in the long run. Consider gradually reallocating a portion to mutual funds for better growth.
LIC Policy:

The Rs. 20 lakhs you will receive in 2027 from your LIC policy can be reinvested in mutual funds. This amount can significantly boost your investment corpus for your goals.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds over Index Funds
Actively managed funds have professional managers who select stocks based on research and analysis. These funds aim to outperform the market. While index funds track the market passively, actively managed funds can provide higher returns through strategic stock selection.

Disadvantages of Index Funds:

They mirror the market and cannot outperform it.
In volatile markets, they can fall just as much as the index.
Lack of active management means no attempt to capitalize on market opportunities.
Advantages of Actively Managed Funds:

Potential to outperform the market through strategic investments.
Flexibility to shift assets in response to market changes.
Professional fund managers use their expertise to mitigate risks and enhance returns.
Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Direct funds have lower expense ratios as they do not include distributor commissions. However, investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) using regular funds can provide several advantages:

Disadvantages of Direct Funds:

You need to have good knowledge and time to manage your investments.
Lack of professional guidance can lead to suboptimal investment choices.
No support for portfolio review and rebalancing.
Advantages of Regular Funds:

Professional advice from CFPs ensures that your investments align with your goals.
CFPs provide ongoing support and help in rebalancing your portfolio.
They can offer insights on market trends and fund performance, helping you make informed decisions.
Final Insights
You have laid a strong financial foundation with your current investments and savings. With some refinements, you can enhance your portfolio to better align with your goals.

Diversify Wisely:

Maintain a balanced approach with a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Reduce sector-specific exposure and add more diversified funds.
Regular Reviews:

Conduct regular reviews of your portfolio and adjust based on your changing financial situation and market conditions.
Professional Guidance:

Consider the benefits of regular funds and actively managed funds for professional guidance and potentially higher returns.
Goal-Based Allocation:

Allocate funds based on your specific goals, such as children's education and your daughter's marriage. Long-term goals can be aligned with equity funds, while short-term goals can be supported by stable, debt-oriented funds.
Emergency and Stability:

Maintain an emergency fund and gradually shift some FDs to mutual funds for better long-term growth.
With these strategies, you can build a robust investment portfolio that will help you achieve your financial goals. If you need further guidance, don't hesitate to consult a Certified Financial Planner to tailor a plan that fits your unique situation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Money
Sir I am 37 year old ... having salary of 1.2 lacs per months and want to save money for child higher education and daughter martiage. Have 48 lakhs in fd's and PF account is having 18 laksh and will receive 20 lakhs in 2027 from LIC Please suggest how to invest in SIP currently having 50000 lumsump in Sbi energy opportunities fund, lumsump 50000 in SBI AUTO Hdfc noncyclic consumer fund Sip of 3000 Edelweiss small cap fund sip of 4000 Kotak emerging equity fund sip of. 3000 NJFlexi cap 1500, Hdfc multicap fund SIP of 1500 (50000 lumsum) Icici prudential value discovery fund sip of 1000 Total SIP per month 14500 and will increase to 30000 Please review my mutual fund portfolio as i dont have any knowledge and suggest if i have chossen correct category with mutual fund name or need to switch Waiting for your suggestion and thanks in advance Please suggest me fund for SIP as i dont have much knowledge and want to invest 30000 per month.. please help me
Ans: You have taken commendable steps towards securing your financial future. It’s inspiring to see your commitment to investing for your child's higher education and your daughter's marriage. Financial planning is crucial, and your efforts to build a diversified portfolio are noteworthy.

Current Financial Situation
You are 37 years old, earning Rs. 1.2 lakh per month. You have Rs. 48 lakhs in fixed deposits (FDs) and Rs. 18 lakhs in your Provident Fund (PF) account. Additionally, you will receive Rs. 20 lakhs from LIC in 2027.

Your current investments include:

Rs. 50,000 lump sum in SBI Energy Opportunities Fund
Rs. 50,000 lump sum in SBI Auto Fund
SIPs totaling Rs. 14,500 per month in various funds:
Edelweiss Small Cap Fund: Rs. 3,000
Kotak Emerging Equity Fund: Rs. 4,000
NJ Flexi Cap Fund: Rs. 1,500
HDFC Multicap Fund: Rs. 1,500 (plus Rs. 50,000 lump sum)
ICICI Prudential Value Discovery Fund: Rs. 1,000
You plan to increase your SIP to Rs. 30,000 per month.

Portfolio Analysis
Your current portfolio is diverse, covering small cap, mid cap, and multi-cap funds. However, it's essential to assess if the allocation aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Financial Goals and Investment Horizon
Child's Higher Education: Assuming your child is currently around 10 years old, you have roughly 8-10 years until higher education expenses begin.
Daughter's Marriage: Assuming your daughter is currently around 5 years old, you have roughly 15-20 years until her marriage expenses.
These timelines give you a medium to long-term investment horizon, allowing for a balanced approach between growth and stability.

Calculating Required Corpus
Child's Higher Education
Assume the cost of higher education today is Rs. 20 lakhs. With an average inflation rate of 6%, the cost after 10 years would be:

Future Cost = Current Cost × (1 + Inflation Rate)^Number of Years
Future Cost = 20,00,000 × (1 + 0.06)^10
Future Cost ≈ 35,80,000

Daughter's Marriage
Assume the cost of marriage today is Rs. 15 lakhs. With an average inflation rate of 6%, the cost after 20 years would be:

Future Cost = Current Cost × (1 + Inflation Rate)^Number of Years
Future Cost = 15,00,000 × (1 + 0.06)^20
Future Cost ≈ 48,10,000

SIP Required for Future Goals
To accumulate Rs. 35.8 lakhs in 10 years and Rs. 48.1 lakhs in 20 years, let’s calculate the SIP amounts needed. Assuming an average annual return of 12%, the monthly SIP required can be calculated using the future value of an SIP formula:

Future Value (FV) = P × [ (1 + r)^n - 1 ] / r × (1 + r)

Where:

P is the monthly investment (SIP amount)
r is the monthly rate of return (annual return / 12)
n is the total number of investments (months)
For a 12% annual return:
r = 12/100 / 12 = 0.01

For Higher Education (10 years):
n = 10 × 12 = 120

35,80,000 = P × [ (1 + 0.01)^120 - 1 ] / 0.01 × (1 + 0.01)
35,80,000 = P × 232.97 × 1.01
35,80,000 = P × 235.30
P ≈ 15,200

For Marriage (20 years):
n = 20 × 12 = 240

48,10,000 = P × [ (1 + 0.01)^240 - 1 ] / 0.01 × (1 + 0.01)
48,10,000 = P × 967.15 × 1.01
48,10,000 = P × 976.82
P ≈ 4,920

Recommended Monthly SIP
To meet both goals, you need to invest approximately Rs. 20,120 per month (Rs. 15,200 for education + Rs. 4,920 for marriage). This is well within your planned SIP increase to Rs. 30,000.

Reviewing and Adjusting Your Portfolio
Given your existing investments, it is essential to ensure they align with your goals and risk profile. Here’s a detailed review:

Existing SIPs
Edelweiss Small Cap Fund: Small-cap funds can provide high growth but come with high volatility. Limit to a smaller portion of your portfolio.
Kotak Emerging Equity Fund: Mid-cap fund, good for growth but also volatile.
NJ Flexi Cap Fund: Diversified across market caps, providing stability and growth.
HDFC Multicap Fund: Balanced approach with exposure to large, mid, and small caps.
ICICI Prudential Value Discovery Fund: Focus on undervalued stocks, adding stability to the portfolio.
Recommended Changes
Reduce Exposure to High-Risk Funds: Limit small-cap funds to 10-15% of your total portfolio to manage risk.
Increase Diversification: Add large-cap funds for stability. Large-cap funds tend to be less volatile and provide steady returns.
Focus on Goal-Based Allocation: Allocate investments specifically for education and marriage goals.
Suggested Allocation for Rs. 30,000 SIP
Large Cap Fund: Rs. 7,500
Multi Cap Fund: Rs. 7,500
Mid Cap Fund: Rs. 5,000
Small Cap Fund: Rs. 3,000
Flexi Cap Fund: Rs. 4,000
Value Fund: Rs. 3,000
Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds
While index funds replicate market indices, actively managed funds can outperform due to the expertise of fund managers. Actively managed funds are adaptable and can capitalize on market opportunities, offering potentially higher returns.

Direct vs. Regular Funds
Direct funds have lower expense ratios but require active management and market knowledge. Regular funds, managed through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD), provide professional guidance and can be beneficial for informed decision-making.

Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to stay aligned with your goals. Market conditions and personal circumstances change, so periodic reviews ensure your investments remain optimal.

Conclusion
To achieve your financial goals, increase your monthly SIP to Rs. 30,000 with a well-diversified portfolio. Focus on goal-based investments and consider professional guidance for effective fund management.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

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Dear Sir, I am 40 years old, happily married, have 2 daughters 7 years and 3 years old. My financials are 1. Real Estate 1.50 cr. Land and 2 houses (house value: 85 lakhs: Monthly rental yield 30,000) 2. ULIP 18,000 monthly for 5 years. (19 months completed. Corpus: 4 lakhs) C. Mutual funds 50,000 (just started). I can invest monthly 1.50 lakhs now. Please advice the best categories of Mutual Funds to invest as SIP. Also, thinking to sell the house of 85 lakhs value and put in SWP. Please advice.
Ans: You are 40 years old, happily married with two daughters aged 7 and 3. You have real estate worth Rs. 1.50 crores, including two houses (one valued at Rs. 85 lakhs with a monthly rental yield of Rs. 30,000). You have a ULIP with a monthly contribution of Rs. 18,000 for 5 years, with 19 months completed and a corpus of Rs. 4 lakhs. You have just started investing Rs. 50,000 in mutual funds. You can invest Rs. 1.50 lakhs monthly now.

Investment in Mutual Funds
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds are essential for long-term growth. They provide high returns over time. You can invest in large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Large-cap funds are less risky. Mid-cap and small-cap funds offer higher returns but come with higher risks.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt mutual funds provide stability to your portfolio. They invest in bonds and government securities. They are less volatile and offer regular returns. You can consider short-term and long-term debt funds based on your investment horizon.

Hybrid Mutual Funds
Hybrid funds invest in both equity and debt. They balance risk and return. They are suitable for moderate risk takers. They provide stability with some growth potential.

Tax-saving Mutual Funds
ELSS funds provide tax benefits under Section 80C. They have a lock-in period of 3 years. They offer good returns and help in tax planning. You can allocate a portion of your investments to these funds.

Selling the House and SWP
Selling the house worth Rs. 85 lakhs can provide a lump sum. You can invest this in a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP). SWP offers regular income from mutual funds. It provides flexibility and better returns compared to rental income. Ensure to consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to align this with your financial goals.

Investment Strategy
Increase your SIP contributions to Rs. 1.50 lakhs monthly. Diversify your investments across equity, debt, and hybrid funds. Review your portfolio regularly to ensure it aligns with your goals.

Professional Guidance
Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). They can provide a tailored financial plan. Professional guidance helps achieve your financial goals efficiently.

Final Insights
Focus on long-term growth with equity funds. Maintain stability with debt funds. Balance risk and return with hybrid funds. Consider tax-saving ELSS funds. Review your portfolio regularly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024
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my gf was physical(intercourse) just for once with her ex and her ex cheated on her she just had a 2 month relationship with her ex. and after that around just after a month we came in relationship and its been 2 months we are in a relationship we both go to same college but due to house problem she doesn't attend classes basically we are in a long distance relationship and she still remember him and when she goes to places where she meet her ex she still have flashback She is not fully with me even when i just ask her for a normal kiss she refuses and tells me what so hurry but when i asked her does she want to stay with me she told me yes i want to stay with you and she is ready to marry me as well when time comes she even told me that timely she will have feelings for me And for me all this is new this is my first relationship what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Refusing for a kiss isn't as concerning as her saying she will have feelings for you. Not everyone is ready for intimacy at the same time in all their relationships. As I mentioned earlier, there can be several reasons for this behavior. Please have an open conversation with her. Let her know that her behavior is bothering you and you want some clarity. If she still continues to say the same thing, you have the option to rethink the relationship.

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 28, will be engaged in 3-4 months. It's an arranged marriage. I have met the girl one time, that too she was accompanied with her parents as her family is very conservative. We spoke privately for about half an hour. I know it's still not enough but I was able to have a good conversation. She was nervous at first but I made her feel comfortable and it was then time well spent. She is a sweet girl, even my maa papa like this girl but on the other hand, I am also getting worried as the days are coming near. Sometimes I feel like postponing the event. Is this normal? I also fear of things that happens in nowadays like getting divorce, extra marital affairs, alimony etc. What if she finds a better partner after marriage? Will she leave me? Due to this I cannot have proper sleep recently. Any suggestions to calm my nerves?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Many people get cold feet before getting married. It is very normal. All your questions are valid but you need to understand that in every relationship, it all comes down to trust. Whether you marry this woman or someone else, you have to trust her. And no one can really tell what the future holds. So we focus on the present and hope for the best.

I suggest speaking to your would-be partner a little more in the meantime. Getting to know her will put these doubts to rest. I'm sure she is equally concerned about what kind of person you are. Moreover, it is always a good idea to get to know each other better before committing for a lifetime. And, in case, you still think you need to postpone the event, do not shy away from doing so. It is better to take some time and make the right decision than to make a wrong decision in a hurry.

Hope this helps.
Best Wishes.

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Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |123 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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Hi sir , Iam male 27 years planning to reduce my current weight of 86KG hence planning to hit the gym. Iam concerned of abdominal fat. I left gym 3 yrs back when my weight was average 69kgs. However due to no physical activity weight increased. Now iam planning for reducing weight and also improve my strength with good muscular lean body not bulk. Please guide me sir thanks
Ans: It’s wonderful that you’re enthusiastic about getting back into the gym to work towards weight loss and a lean, toned physique! As a physiotherapist, I suggest scheduling regular check-ins with a physiotherapist to monitor your progress and make any necessary adjustments to your exercise routine. To effectively lose fat, particularly around the abdomen, while building muscle, try a balanced approach that incorporates both cardio and strength training. Start with 20-30 minutes of moderate-intensity cardio—like brisk walking, cycling, or jogging—three to five times per week to increase calorie burn. For strength training, focus on compound exercises such as squats, lunges, push-ups, and rows, with three sessions per week. Begin with lighter weights, increasing gradually as your strength builds, and focus on good form to develop lean muscle without bulk.

Including core exercises, like planks, Russian twists, and leg raises, will help to strengthen and tone your abdominal muscles; however, remember that fat loss from specific areas requires overall body fat reduction. A high-protein, balanced diet will be crucial for supporting muscle growth and managing hunger, so aim to reduce processed foods and sugars. Consistency is essential—maintain a regular exercise schedule, and ensure you have rest days for recovery. With dedication, you’ll see steady improvements over time. Best of luck, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you need further guidance!

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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