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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 10, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2025Hindi
Money

Dear Mr. Ramalingam, Have been following your recommendations to many problems in rediff. Greetings to you and team. Request your guidance and support on my below condition. # 46 years, Male, married wih no kids; Wife 43 years, both moms ~73, both dads ~77/80 years. | Retiring in 1 month because of unfortunate medical condition; No income from now - from me or any family member from now on; Fighting 4th stage cancer recent 6 months but managing fine so far | No need to take care of monthly expenses of both parents as they have sources for it (also 2 siblings of us will support them in future; they are well placed); Only for emergency medical, I will have to support. # Financial goal is to manage expenses for myself (medical)/wife largely + for parents AND BEYOND THAT leave wealth for family (largely wife), if possible. # Current value of investments: (MFs 3.2Crs + All bank accounts 48L) + (EPFO 41L + SBI PPF 22L) + (Land 140L?, Home/flat 40L?) = [Total 3.7Crs relatively liquid] + [EPFO+PPF 0.63 Crs] + [Assets: 1.4Crs*? + 40L*?] Plan to withdraw EPFO/PPF sooner within a year and reinvest in MFs (beyond certain buffer I wish to keep in my bank account - as emergency fund + to balance any additional expenses w/o disturbing MF SWP, basically buffer during non-performing times of market). ^ MFs largely in equity | Mix of different type of funds: Large Cap (10%), Mid cap (7.5%), Small cap (10%), Multi cap (2.5%), Large+Mid (5%).... Flexi cap (12.5%), Multi asset (5%), Dividend yield (5%), Aggressive hybrid/equity n debt fund (5%), Dynamic asset allocation/Balanced advantage (5%).... Sectoral/thematic across Pharma n health care/Infra/Banking n finance/Transportation n Logistics/Services/Digital (30%) # Monthly expenses: TOTAL Rs.1.5L from next month; Split of monthly will be Medical - Rs.1.05L, Home expenses includes all possible yearly too - Rs.30k, Misc - Rs.15k # Specific financial questions: 1) With the above current monthly expenses planned to be managed through SWP (and/or dividend plans, mostly largely SEP plus bit of dividend plan in the mix) AND considering the inflation for expenses and growth of funds beyond monthly SWPs, how many years will my funds of say 4.33Crs last? 20 years or 25 years?.... For the purpose of this calculation, you can assume my monthly medical expenses (70% of my total) to exist for long, irrespective of my life expectancy (anyways this would be tight pessimistic scenario finance-wise). 2) Any larger suggestions on the mix of mutual funds? (Still want it to be aggressive) 3) Views on managing monthly expenses through SWP or Dividend plan or both? 4) Any other suggestions? # Next steps: 1) Depending upon the answer for my first question, I need to see whether I need to sell my assets (land, home)? If so, will plan for it at some relevant point of time.

Ans: You have handled your financial life with great discipline and maturity, even during such a difficult personal phase. The clarity in your thoughts, documentation, and priorities shows a very strong and sensible financial mind. Your readiness to plan even now with balance and purpose is truly inspiring.

You have already achieved financial stability with almost Rs 4.33 crore of liquid and semi-liquid assets, plus additional property assets. Now the main objective is to secure sustainable monthly cash flow, ensure comfort for you and your wife, and preserve wealth for her future with minimal stress.

» Assessing Current Financial Position

You have Rs 3.2 crore in mutual funds, Rs 48 lakh in bank accounts, Rs 41 lakh in EPFO, Rs 22 lakh in PPF, a land worth around Rs 1.4 crore, and a home valued at Rs 40 lakh. Your total liquid and semi-liquid wealth is roughly Rs 4.33 crore, while total wealth including real estate is around Rs 6 crore.

You will retire in one month and will not have any regular income. Your total monthly expense will be around Rs 1.5 lakh, which includes Rs 1.05 lakh towards medical, Rs 30,000 towards household, and Rs 15,000 towards other needs. This means your annual expense will be Rs 18 lakh approximately.

Your parents are financially independent and have other siblings to support them. So your main responsibility is your own and your wife’s expenses, and occasional emergency support for parents.

This clarity helps in framing your future allocation and strategy with precision.

» Understanding Longevity of Your Funds

You have Rs 4.33 crore available to generate monthly income through mutual fund SWP or partial dividend route. With a balanced and active management, this corpus can last for 20 to 25 years or even beyond.

If we assume average post-tax growth from your mutual funds and rebalanced portfolio of around 8% to 9% per year, and your annual expense rising at 5% inflation, your corpus should comfortably sustain around 22 to 24 years.

This is a realistic assumption keeping your present asset mix and moderate withdrawals in mind. Your medical cost is the major component, and since you have planned for that conservatively, your fund durability is strong.

Even in a slightly lower growth period, say around 6.5% to 7%, your corpus should still support you and your wife comfortably for around 18 to 20 years, especially if you keep a buffer in your savings account as you planned.

So overall, the funds can last approximately 20–25 years without the need to sell your land or home in the short term.

» Evaluating Current Mutual Fund Portfolio Mix

Your present mutual fund allocation is diversified and slightly aggressive, which is good for long-term wealth retention. But it can be improved slightly to balance risk and liquidity.

At present you have about 60% in pure equity including large, mid, and small cap, 30% in sectoral funds, and the rest in hybrid and multi-asset categories. The overall equity exposure is on the higher side for someone who will depend fully on the portfolio for income.

Sectoral funds are volatile. While you may have gained in them earlier, they can fall sharply during market corrections. Keeping 30% in such thematic and sectoral funds is risky when you depend on regular withdrawals.

To make your portfolio more sustainable, shift around 10% to 15% from sectoral funds into diversified hybrid or balanced advantage funds. These funds adjust between equity and debt based on market cycles. They provide more stable monthly withdrawal potential.

Also, keep at least 15% in pure debt or short-duration mutual funds for regular SWP support. This portion can be drawn during poor market phases without disturbing your equity holdings.

Thus, an ideal mix for your current phase could be:

45–50% diversified equity (large, flexi, multi, and large-mid mix)

25–30% hybrid, balanced advantage, and multi-asset funds

15% pure debt or short-term bond funds

10% or less in selective sectoral or thematic funds, mainly healthcare since it is directly related to your expense area

This structure can balance growth, income, and capital safety effectively.

» On Aggressiveness and Stability

You have mentioned you still wish to stay aggressive. That mindset is understandable because growth helps maintain wealth longer. However, being fully aggressive when you rely on monthly withdrawals can cause stress in volatile markets.

A smart way to stay growth-oriented yet secure is to keep the core of your portfolio in stable diversified funds and maintain a smaller tactical allocation in sectoral or thematic ideas. This ensures your growth ambition remains, but downside risk is controlled.

You can continue annual review with a Certified Financial Planner for rebalancing and withdrawal adjustments. This disciplined approach helps extend the life of your corpus.

» EPFO and PPF Utilisation

Your EPFO and PPF amount together is around Rs 63 lakh. As you plan to withdraw them within a year, do so gradually based on your tax position. These funds are already in safe debt form. When reinvesting, allocate around half into debt mutual funds or balanced advantage funds. This ensures continuity of low volatility and better post-tax returns than keeping everything in fixed deposits.

The rest can be added to your equity allocation selectively for long-term stability. This gradual reinvestment plan is very practical and safe.

» Strategy for Monthly Expenses – SWP vs Dividend Plan

Between SWP and dividend options, SWP is clearly better. In SWP, you can control how much to withdraw and when. You also enjoy better tax efficiency since only the gains portion is taxed.

Dividend plans are irregular. Dividends depend on fund manager decisions and are fully taxable as income. You cannot rely on them for steady cash flow.

So maintain your regular monthly income through Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP). Keep a buffer of around 6–8 months of expenses in your bank account or liquid fund. Use that only if the market falls or SWP value drops temporarily.

This approach creates a self-managed income pipeline without touching your main principal for many years.

You can design your SWP in such a way that you draw monthly around Rs 1.5 lakh, and review every 6–9 months based on expenses and fund performance.

» Inflation Management and Growth Balance

Inflation is your main silent challenge. Medical costs can rise faster than normal inflation. So, you need your portfolio to grow at least 2–3% more than inflation.

That is why continuing partial exposure to equity and hybrid funds is essential. They provide real growth after inflation.

By withdrawing systematically and allowing the rest to compound, your portfolio will continue to grow and offset inflationary effects.

» Managing Emergency Medical and Unplanned Expenses

You can keep Rs 40–50 lakh in liquid form as a buffer. Around Rs 20–25 lakh can stay in high-quality liquid mutual funds, and another Rs 20–25 lakh in your bank or short-term deposits.

This ensures you can handle any sudden medical cost without disturbing your main investments or triggering large redemptions during a market correction.

You can also take a top-up health insurance policy if medically possible and if existing cover permits. This can reduce direct cash flow impact for major hospital bills.

» Tax Efficiency and Withdrawal Planning

Under current rules, equity mutual fund long-term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. For debt funds, both short and long-term gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Hence, SWP is tax-efficient because only the profit part in each withdrawal is taxed, not the full withdrawal amount. By staggering your withdrawals across years, you can stay under the lower LTCG tax bracket and avoid large one-time tax payments.

Also, choose regular mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner and not direct funds. Direct funds appear cheaper but lack professional support and review. A qualified CFP ensures regular rebalancing, correct fund selection, and timely switches based on your unique situation.

» Estate and Legacy Planning

Since your wish is to leave wealth for your wife and possibly other family members, prepare a clear and valid will. Mention all your investments, bank accounts, mutual fund folios, and property details. Add proper nominations in each asset.

Also, consider creating a simple instruction note for your wife about how to operate the SWP, contact your Certified Financial Planner, and manage future withdrawals.

This will give her peace of mind and help her continue your financial discipline seamlessly.

» View on Selling Assets

You do not need to sell your land or house immediately. Your financial corpus is strong enough to last 20–25 years as discussed. Keep the land as a reserve. If, after 8–10 years, your medical cost rises or your corpus reduces significantly, you can then sell the land to add to the fund base.

Land is an illiquid asset, so it should be the last option to use, not the first. Till then, let it remain as a backup wealth or future inheritance for your wife.

» Emotional and Practical Comfort

You are already mentally strong and practical in your planning. Continue this same calm approach. Your financial independence is assured for many years. Focus now on your health, comfort, and time with your family.

Even if your expenses rise slightly due to medical reasons, your portfolio can handle it through rebalancing. The key is regular review, maintaining liquidity, and adjusting SWP amounts carefully every year.

Your wife will also remain financially independent through your thoughtful preparation. This itself is a great gift to her and your extended family.

» Finally

You have already built a wise, balanced, and meaningful financial setup. Your funds of around Rs 4.33 crore can comfortably sustain for 20–25 years with systematic withdrawal and prudent review. You can stay moderately aggressive with diversified equity and hybrid mutual funds, while avoiding excessive sectoral concentration.

SWP remains the best method for monthly income, supported by a healthy emergency buffer in liquid form. Avoid dividend plans, and invest through a Certified Financial Planner to ensure periodic rebalancing and tax efficiency.

There is no urgent need to sell your land or home now. Keep them as your long-term backup and potential legacy assets.

Your current planning is already very well-thought-out. You only need to fine-tune it slightly for risk control and ensure smooth income flow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 28, 2025

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Hi Sir, Thanks for the guidance. It has been a year, I want to review with you again about how I am going on track to achieve my financial goals. I Am 36 yrs old, working in a product-based semiconductor company. Housewife and One daughter 8 yrs old. My current salary is 3.5L after deduction take home is around 2.5L(without PF and NPS deductions). Home and housing plot worth 1cr (No EMIs). Having only one liability loan (28k per month for the next 4yrs). My current portfolio MF 12.2L, Indian shares 8.5L, US Shares 25L, SSY 5.5L, NPS 3.5L, PF 14.5L. 3.5cr personal term policy, 1cr term policy from company. Ancient properties ~1Cr. 22L health insurance (personal+company) Present my monthly savings Corporate NPS: -16.3k PF: -39k ESPP: -49K SSY: -4k Gold saving scheme for ornaments: -20k Edelweiss small cap: -11k Parag parikh Felix cap: -8k Quant Active fund: -8k Kotak equity opportunities: -4k ICICI pro blue-chip fund: -5K ICICI pro manufacturing fund: -3k ICICI pro Nifty next 50: -2k ICICI pro value discovery: -4k Apart from Salary I will get RSUs of 12-15L worth company shares at every AR cycle (25L worth US shares I mentioned are RSU+ESPP) I purchased the plot and a house by selling my last 5 years accumulated company shares. I am planning to purchase one more house in my native place, which yields 4-5% rental income, is it good or should I diversify money in MFs? My aim is to accumulate 6cr retirement carpus (excluding real estate), 2cr for my kid higher studies and marriage. In the next 14 years I want to make this corpus and retire at the age of 50. Please review my current portfolio and suggest if any changes are needed. Also I need one more suggestion, 5 years back my father passed away, we have got 20L insurance amount. Me and my brother discussed and opened a savings account on my mother’s name (60yrs old now) to have liquid cash flow for her personal expenses, in IDFC, giving 7% interest and crediting interest in monthly basis. Also, we are getting 20K rent from ancient property that amount also funding to my mother account. Should we continue in the same way, or we have any investment options with low risk? my mother’s medical expenses will be covered in my and my brother’s insurance policy.
Ans: For your mother’s ?20L corpus currently earning 7% in a savings account, you may consider the following low-risk alternatives to enhance returns without compromising liquidity:

1. Senior Citizens’ Savings Scheme (SCSS):

Interest ~8.2% (revised quarterly).

Lock-in of 5 years, extendable by 3 more.

Quarterly payouts ideal for regular income.

2. Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS):

Interest ~7.4% monthly payout.

Lock-in of 5 years.

Up to ?9L can be invested per individual.

3. Bank Fixed Deposits (Senior Citizen FD):

Many banks offer 7.25%–7.75% for seniors.

Monthly/quarterly interest payout available.

Consider laddering for liquidity.

4. Low Duration or Arbitrage Mutual Funds (Optional):

For slightly higher return with low volatility.

Can be considered for ?2–3L max if you're comfortable with mutual funds.

Recommendation:
Keep ?1–2L in the savings account for liquidity. Invest ?9L in SCSS and balance in POMIS or a senior citizen FD. Ensure nominees are registered. Continue crediting ?20K rent to the same account for monthly cash flow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Money
Dear Nitin Sir, I am 63 years old retired person investing MF since 2010. and my MF investments are as follows: Total Investments: 21.16L, Corpus- 43.31, XIRR-14.63%. Shares- 3.3L Details of Investment: 1. SBI Contra Regular: Investments from 2010 to 2024, presently suspended. Invest. amount- 4.83L, Corpus-19.32L, XIRR-17.4%. Present SIP- 55K since 3-4 years 1. Parag Parikh Flexi cap, direct - 10K 2. HDFC Balanced Advantage, direct- 20K 3. HDFC Retirement Saving, direct - 5K 4. Navi Nifty 50 Index, direct - 5K 5. Kotak Nifty Next 50 Index- 5K 6. Motilal Oswal Nifty 500 Momentum 50, direct -5K, Motilal Oswal Mid Cap , Direct -5K Time horizon- 15+ years Also I am planning to withdraw about 10% of corpus (to get benefit of LTCG) from SBI Contra Regular and invest in Flexi Cap/ Balance advantage Funds. I have following other investments. Bank FD - 40L PO SCCS- 30L PO MIS - 4.5L NPS Investment- 10L PPF- 15L Health Insurance- 8L EPF/SBI Life / LIC Superannuation Pension- 28K/Month My children are married and working. My investment objective is to gift these (MF + Share) investments to my son and daughter after say 15 years. Please suggest your views on portfolios. With Thanks & Regards, S. Salvankar
Ans: You have done a wonderful job by staying disciplined with mutual fund investments for over a decade. A long-term equity investment, especially post-retirement, shows patience, understanding, and commitment. Your detailed summary shows thoughtful planning and systematic execution. Let me now assess your portfolio and investment approach from a 360-degree perspective, keeping in mind your future gifting goal.

Overall Portfolio Structure
Your investments are diversified across:

Equity mutual funds

Direct shares

Fixed income avenues like Bank FD, Post Office schemes, PPF, NPS

Pension income

Health insurance

You have a clear goal — to pass on your equity investments to your children after 15 years. This is a beautiful long-term wealth gifting intention. Your time horizon also aligns well with equity investing. However, there are a few areas where your strategy can be refined.

Mutual Fund Portfolio – Positives
You started investing early and have stayed invested for over 14 years.

Your corpus of Rs. 43.31L on Rs. 21.16L investment shows consistent and high-quality compounding.

An XIRR of 14.63% is an excellent achievement over this long horizon.

SIP of Rs. 55K/month at this age is bold and forward-looking.

You have spread your SIP across different fund categories.

This portfolio reflects long-term wealth-building behaviour and commitment.

Review of Your Current Equity Mutual Fund Portfolio
Let’s look at the structure of your mutual fund investments:

SBI Contra Regular

Strong long-term performer.

Investment since 2010, paused now.

XIRR of 17.4% is remarkable.

You have rightly held it for long, giving the fund time to deliver.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap (Direct)

HDFC Balanced Advantage (Direct)

HDFC Retirement Saving (Direct)

Navi Nifty 50 Index (Direct)

Kotak Nifty Next 50 Index (Direct)

Motilal Oswal Nifty 500 Momentum 50 (Direct)

Motilal Oswal Mid Cap (Direct)

These SIPs show diversification across flexi-cap, hybrid, thematic, index, and mid-cap segments.

However, let me highlight a few critical areas for improvement.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
You are investing in direct funds. But this may not be ideal, especially for retired investors.

Direct funds need regular performance tracking.

You miss personalised guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).

If the fund underperforms, you may not exit at the right time.

Asset allocation or rebalancing will not happen without expert help.

Retirement stage needs proactive reviews, not reactive responses.

Regular plans through an MFD-CFP come with professional oversight, tailored advice, and peace of mind. Over a 15-year period, right allocation matters more than a slightly lower expense ratio.

Index Funds in Your Portfolio – A Critical View
You have allocated part of your SIP to:

Navi Nifty 50 Index

Kotak Nifty Next 50 Index

Motilal Oswal Nifty 500 Momentum

While these funds seem low-cost, they lack active human intelligence.

Why Index Funds May Not Suit You:

Index funds blindly copy the index.

No flexibility to manage downside risk.

They cannot avoid overvalued stocks.

Momentum themes work only in certain phases.

Recovery in falling markets may take longer.

They are not suitable for legacy or wealth transfer goals.

You need funds that can manage volatility and aim for consistent returns. Actively managed funds with a good track record serve this better.

Portfolio Restructuring Recommendations
Based on your current scenario and gifting goal, here are my suggestions:

Switch From Index Funds
Gradually exit all index fund SIPs.

Redeploy this into actively managed flexi-cap and balanced advantage funds through a regular plan.

Select AMC schemes that have a consistent 10-year+ track record.

Pause Retirement-Specific Funds
HDFC Retirement Saving is tax-locked.

Once lock-in ends, consider shifting to a more suitable long-term fund.

Reduce the Number of Funds
Too many small SIPs lead to portfolio clutter.

Concentrate into 3 to 4 well-managed funds.

Ensure each fund has a distinct mandate — not overlapping in strategy.

SBI Contra Withdrawal Plan
You are planning to withdraw 10% of your SBI Contra corpus to realise long-term capital gains.

This is a wise move, considering tax implications.

MF Tax Rule You Should Note:
LTCG above Rs. 1.25L is taxed at 12.5% now.

You can withdraw up to Rs. 1.25L of gains every year, tax-free.

Systematically redeem in phases to avoid bulk taxation.

Redeploy these proceeds into flexi-cap or balanced advantage regular plans. This will keep the compounding cycle intact.

Direct Shares Holding
You have Rs. 3.3L in shares. Please consider:

Are these high-quality companies with stable track records?

Do you monitor and rebalance them?

If not, better to switch to diversified mutual funds.

A CFP can help review the stock portfolio.

Fixed Income Portfolio Assessment
You hold:

Rs. 40L in Bank FDs

Rs. 30L in Post Office Senior Citizen Savings Scheme

Rs. 4.5L in PO MIS

Rs. 15L in PPF

Rs. 10L in NPS

This is a conservative, capital-protected allocation, which is perfect at your age.

You are earning:

Rs. 28,000 monthly pension

Likely interest income of Rs. 4 to 5L annually

There is enough buffer to manage regular expenses, with no pressure on equity withdrawals.

Please ensure the following:

Stagger maturity of FDs to avoid reinvestment risk.

Reinvest matured PO schemes into safer debt funds or hybrid funds with moderate risk.

Do not add more money to NPS now. It will become illiquid and taxable on withdrawal.

Health Insurance Review
You have a health cover of Rs. 8L. Please ensure:

It includes critical illness cover.

It has cashless facility in your nearest hospital.

Policy continues till age 80+.

Premiums are paid on time.

If needed, explore super top-up policies to enhance coverage at a low cost.

Estate Planning and Gifting to Children
You plan to gift the entire mutual fund and stock corpus to your children after 15 years.

This is thoughtful and visionary. To do it smoothly, please:

Write a Will now, clearly assigning MF and stock assets.

Nominate your son and daughter correctly in each folio.

Keep them informed about your investments.

Review the Will every 3-4 years.

Maintain a simple tracker sheet with folio details, nominee names, and login info.

Also consider creating a trust, if you want to manage transfer gradually. A CFP can help you plan this smoothly.

Risk and Volatility Review
Even though you have 15+ years, equity markets remain volatile in short periods.

Please review your risk:

Avoid high exposure to mid-cap or momentum-based funds.

Stick to large-cap biased flexi-cap and balanced advantage funds.

Ensure debt-equity balance is maintained (ideally 30-35% in equity for now).

Review asset allocation annually with a CFP.

This approach will protect the wealth you are building for your children.

Action Plan Summary
Here is what you can do step-by-step:

Exit index funds gradually.

Stop direct fund SIPs and move to regular funds via CFP-guided MFDs.

Reduce mutual fund count and consolidate.

Withdraw small gains from SBI Contra yearly.

Pause fresh NPS investment.

Monitor health insurance coverage closely.

Nominate children and write a proper Will.

Maintain asset allocation of 65-70% debt, 30-35% equity.

Review portfolio every year.

Finally
Your portfolio reflects clarity and long-term vision.

But direct funds and index funds may hinder that vision.

Let a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) work with you, just like a family doctor. They’ll help protect and grow your wealth till the time you gift it.

Investing with expert review ensures peace of mind, emotional security, and legacy fulfilment.

You have built a solid base — now protect it with structure, consolidation, and clarity.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2025Hindi
Money
SIR, I am 70 years old and have ifollowing investments 1. Bank Fds 6,75,000, 9%, maturing in July 26 2. PMVVY 10,00,000, 8%, maturing in May 28 5,00,000, 8%, maturing in June 29. 3. Short Duration Funds - 6 Laks HDFC BAF 25 Laks ICICI Aggressive Hybrid 14 Laks and PPFAS and HDFC Flexicaps 0 Laks 4. Monthly Fixed pension 50,000 until death, with no end of life benefits I do not have any dependants and my projected requirement for FY 26-27 will be about 11 Laks, based on current FY expenses till Sep 25. I have assumed 7% inflation. I have 15 laks parked in other aggressive hybrid fund as my Medical Fund, as I do not have Medical Insurance. My son's company has a limited Medical Insurance for the family and may not be sufficient if the critical need arises. I will be grateful if you could review my portfolio and let me know if I need to restructure this . I want to prepare for life expectancy of 90 years , and I am doubtful if my current portfolio will be sufficient for such period. I do not wish to ask my son to help me out on monthly basis. But if the portfolio is not sufficient for my life expectancy, please advise on how much monthly support I should have for him, so that the same may be invested in a long term fund to be used only after my current portfolio gets exhausted. I shall be highly grateful for your suggestions. Thank you, Arun Serdeshpande
Ans: I appreciate your clarity and discipline in financial planning. At 70 years, your thoughtful approach towards independence, medical preparedness, and inflation planning is truly admirable. You have made sensible investment choices and have a balanced mix of fixed income and equity-oriented assets. Let us review your portfolio step by step to check its adequacy till age 90 and identify scope for fine-tuning.

» Present Snapshot of Your Portfolio

– Bank FDs: Rs 6.75 lakh earning 9%, maturing July 2026.
– PMVVY: Rs 15 lakh total, 8% return, maturing between 2028–2029.
– Short Duration Funds: Rs 6 lakh.
– Balanced Funds: HDFC Balanced Advantage Rs 25 lakh.
– Aggressive Hybrid Fund: ICICI Rs 14 lakh.
– Flexicap funds (HDFC + PPFAS): Nil current holding.
– Monthly Pension: Rs 50,000 (till lifetime, no post-death benefits).
– Separate Medical Fund: Rs 15 lakh in an aggressive hybrid fund.
– No dependants, current annual expenses Rs 11 lakh for FY 26–27 with 7% inflation.

Your total investible corpus (excluding medical fund) is roughly Rs 66–67 lakh. Including the medical reserve, total investible assets are around Rs 81–82 lakh.

» Overall Assessment

– Your asset mix is reasonably diversified between fixed-income and equity hybrid options.
– The fixed sources (FD, PMVVY, pension) give you predictable income.
– The equity hybrids bring long-term growth and inflation protection.
– However, the portfolio may face strain beyond your late 80s if inflation continues at 7%.
– Some fine-tuning and income sequencing can make the portfolio last longer.

» Income Flow Analysis

Your monthly pension of Rs 50,000 will cover part of your living costs.
At present, your yearly expenses are around Rs 11 lakh, which means around Rs 91,000 per month.
Your pension meets about 55% of this need.
The rest must come from interest, dividends, or withdrawal from investments.

Your FDs and PMVVY together can generate around Rs 1.7 lakh a year.
This still leaves a shortfall of about Rs 3.5 lakh per year at current levels.
You can easily draw this from your hybrid and short duration funds without disturbing your long-term corpus heavily.
However, as expenses rise with inflation, the drawdown gap will widen.
So, a review of return expectation and withdrawal sequence is important.

» Inflation and Longevity Challenge

At 7% inflation, your current annual expenses of Rs 11 lakh may grow to nearly Rs 21 lakh by age 80 and close to Rs 40 lakh by age 90.
Your fixed income sources like PMVVY and FD will not rise with inflation.
Thus, your reliance on equity hybrids will increase with time.
If those funds deliver 9–10% annualised returns over the long term, your portfolio can sustain reasonably till your late 80s.
Beyond that, you may need either partial support from your son or a plan to use medical corpus partially for living needs if required.

» Strengths in Your Current Plan

– Having a fixed pension till lifetime is a huge advantage.
– Keeping a separate medical fund is a very prudent step.
– You have avoided unnecessary insurance-linked investment products.
– You have sensibly combined stable and growth assets.

These show a strong foundation for self-sufficient retirement years.

» Key Areas for Improvement

FD renewal at lower rates post-2026 could reduce income.

PMVVY proceeds maturing between 2028–2029 need reinvestment planning.

Medical corpus should stay in moderate-risk funds, not aggressive ones.

Hybrid equity exposure should be reviewed every three years.

These actions can strengthen your sustainability up to age 90 and beyond.

» Portfolio Restructuring Suggestions

– Keep around 30% of your corpus in safe instruments like short duration funds, PMVVY, and FD.
– Keep about 70% in well-managed balanced advantage and aggressive hybrid funds for growth.
– Avoid adding more pure equity funds now, as time horizon is limited.
– Continue through a Certified Financial Planner–guided Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) for regular plans.

Regular plans give personal service and discipline.
Direct plans may look cheaper, but lack timely advice and rebalancing support.
For retirees, regular plans via a CFP are safer.

» Handling Medical Corpus

Your Rs 15 lakh medical corpus is valuable security.
But since it is in an aggressive hybrid fund, it carries some risk.
You can shift half to a short duration fund or senior citizen savings plan for stability.
Keep half in hybrid fund for growth and liquidity.
Avoid keeping the full medical fund in high equity exposure.
If a medical need arises, you should not worry about market timing.

» Managing Reinvestment of PMVVY and FD

When PMVVY matures, you can move the maturity amount into balanced advantage or conservative hybrid funds.
By 2028–2029, you may also renew FDs into short-term deposits only.
This will give liquidity flexibility for yearly withdrawals.
Avoid locking large amounts again in long-term fixed deposits.

» Withdrawal Planning

Instead of random withdrawals, plan an annual drawdown schedule.
You can withdraw 4% to 5% from your mutual fund corpus every year.
That can supplement your pension and interest income.
This strategy helps you maintain steady income while keeping the core corpus growing.
Your Certified Financial Planner can help review this annually.

» Inflation Cushion Strategy

To manage rising costs, you can:

– Keep 1 year’s expense in short-term debt funds as cash buffer.
– Review hybrid fund allocation every 3 years.
– Add yearly top-up in balanced funds from matured instruments.
– Reinvest surplus dividends or interest for compounding.

This can help your portfolio outpace inflation for 20 years.

» Evaluating Portfolio Sufficiency Till Age 90

If your current corpus delivers about 8–8.5% blended annual return, it can support your lifestyle up to age 88–89.
If inflation averages around 7%, you may face shortfall during last 2–3 years of life expectancy.
That gap may be about Rs 15–20 lakh in future value terms.
Thus, it is wise to plan a small supplementary arrangement now.

» Supplementary Support from Your Son

You can request your son to start a systematic investment plan in a balanced advantage or hybrid fund in your name.
Even Rs 10,000 per month invested for 15 years can grow to around Rs 35–40 lakh in future value (approximate).
This can serve as your long-term reserve from age 85 onwards.
This way you remain financially independent, and your son’s help is structured, not ad-hoc.
You need not depend on him monthly.
His contribution stays invested for your later years.

» Income Tax Perspective

Your pension and interest will be taxable as per slab.
Withdrawals from equity hybrid funds are subject to capital gains tax.
For long-term gains in equity-oriented funds, gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.
Plan your withdrawals smartly each year to keep gains below limit.
This will reduce overall tax impact.

» Disadvantages of Index and Direct Funds for Retirees

Index funds lack flexibility and cannot protect downside in volatile markets.
They only follow the index and cannot shift between equity and debt.
Hybrid and balanced advantage funds are actively managed.
They can adjust allocation as per market condition.
Hence, they are better for senior citizens seeking stability.

Direct funds, though cheaper, need active monitoring.
A CFP-guided regular plan helps you review, rebalance, and withdraw tax-efficiently.
Professional oversight avoids emotional decisions in market corrections.

» Liquidity Management

Keep a separate contingency fund of Rs 3–4 lakh in liquid or ultra-short funds.
Use this only for emergency cash flow gaps.
Avoid touching your long-term hybrid funds for sudden small needs.
This protects compounding and stability.

» Estate Planning Thought

Since you have no dependants, you can plan nomination and legacy thoughtfully.
You may assign part of your corpus to charitable trust or temple donation through will.
This ensures your assets pass peacefully without confusion.
Your CFP can help you document nominations correctly in all investments.

» Emotional and Practical Comfort

Your focus on self-sufficiency brings emotional peace.
You already have steady income, liquidity, and disciplined structure.
By making these few adjustments, you can achieve complete financial comfort till age 90.
You will not need to depend on anyone for monthly needs.
Even in medical emergencies, your preparedness gives you control and dignity.

» Finally

– Continue your pension as main income.
– Use interest and systematic withdrawals for balance need.
– Reinvest maturing PMVVY and FD into hybrid funds for inflation protection.
– Maintain 1 year’s expense in short duration fund as buffer.
– Review allocation every 2–3 years with a Certified Financial Planner.
– Let your son invest a small monthly amount to create a late-age reserve.

With these steps, your retirement corpus can support a peaceful, secure, and independent life till age 90 and beyond.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Latest Questions
Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6751 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Career
Sir i have given 12th in 2025 and passed with 69% but not given jee exam in 2025 and not in 2026 also But i want iit anyhow sir is this possible that i give 12th in 2027 and cleared 75 criteria then give jee mains and also i am eligible for jee advanced
Ans: You have already appeared for and passed the Class 12 examination in 2025. As per the eligibility criteria, only two consecutive attempts for JEE (Advanced) are permitted—the first in 2025 and the second in 2026. Therefore, you will not be eligible to appear for JEE (Advanced) in 2027. Reappearing for Class 12 does not reset or extend JEE (Advanced) eligibility.

However, you can still achieve your goal of studying at an IIT through an alternative and well-established pathway. You may take admission to an undergraduate engineering program of your choice, appear for the GATE examination in your final year, and secure a qualifying score to gain admission to a postgraduate program at a top IIT.

This is a strong and viable route to IIT. At this stage, it would be advisable to move forward by enrolling in an engineering program rather than focusing again on Class 12, JEE Main, or JEE Advanced.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Reetika Mam, I am 48 year having privet Job. I have started investment from 2017, current value of investment is 82L and having monthly 50K SIP as below. My goal to have 2.5Cr corpus at the age of 58. Please advice... 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3. ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Hi,

You can easily achieve your goal of 2.5 crores after 10 years. Your current investment value of 82 lakhs alone can grow to 2.5 crores assuming CAGR of 12% and monthly 50k SIP will give additional 1.1 crores, making a total corpus of 3.6 crores at 58.

But I see a problem with your current allocation. The fund selection is more aligned towards small caps of different AMCs and very concentrated and overlapped portfolio.
You need to diversify it so as to secure your current investment while getting a decent CAGR of 12% over next 10 years.
Focus on changing your current funds to large caps and BAFs and flexicaps and avoid sectoral funds.

You can also work with an advisor to get detailed analysis of your portfolio.
Hence you should consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Money
Hi, I am 32 years old, married, and have a 4-year-old daughter. My monthly take-home salary is 55,000 rupees, and my wife's salary is 31,000 rupees, making our total income 86,000 rupees. I am currently in a lot of debt. Our total EMIs amount to 99,910 rupees (total loans with an average interest rate of 12.5%), and even with my father covering most of the monthly expenses, I still spend about 10,000 rupees. This leaves me with a shortage of approximately 25,000 rupees (debt) every month. My total debt across various banks is 36,50,000 rupees, and I also have a gold loan of 14 lakhs. I cannot change the EMI or loan tenure for another year. I also have a 2 lakh rupee loan from private lenders at an 18% interest rate. My total debt is over 52 lakhs. Now, with gold and silver prices rising, I'm worried that I won't be able to buy them again. I have an opportunity to get a 2 lakh rupee loan at a 12% interest rate, and I'm thinking of using that money to buy gold and silver and then pledge them at the bank again. Half of my current gold loan is from a similar situation – I took a loan from private lenders, bought gold, and then took a gold loan from the bank to repay the private loan. Given my current situation and my family's circumstances, should I buy more gold or focus on repaying my debts? What should I do? The monthly interest on my loans is approximately 50,000 rupees, meaning 50,000 rupees of my salary goes towards interest every month. What should I do in this situation? I also have an SBI Jan Nivesh SIP of 2000 rupees per month for the last four months. I have no savings left. I am thinking of taking out term insurance and health insurance, but I am hesitating because I don't have the money. I am looking for some suggestions to get out of these debts.
Ans: Hi Surya,

You are in a very complicated situation. This whole debt trapped needs to be worked on very judiciously. Let us go through all the aspects in detail.

1. Your total monthly household salary - 86000; monthly expense - 10000 contribution as of now; monthly EMI - approx. 1 lakhs.
2. Current loans - 36.5 lakhs from various banks at 12.5%; Gold Loan - 14 lakhs; private lenders - 2 lakhs at 18% >> totalling to 52 lakhs.
3. 50k interest per month payable - implies capital payment is very less leading to more problem.

- Keen on buying gold with loan. This is where more problem will began. Avoid buying gold using loan.
- Your focus should be on reducing your debt instead of increasing it.

Strategy to follow:
1. Close the loan with higher interest rate - 2 lakh personal lender. This will reduce your EMI and give you more potential to prepay other loans.
2. Try and take financial help from your family in prepaying small loans from banks. This can reduce your burden.
3. If you have any unused assets, can sell them to pay off your loans.

Points to NOTE:
> Avoid taking any more loans.
> When your EMI burden reduces, do make an emergency fund of 2-3 lakhs for yourself for any uncetain situation.
> Make sure to have a health insurance for yourself and family.
> Can stop your investments for now. They are of no use if your EMIs are more than your income. Can start investing once your EMI's reduce atleast by 20-30% for you.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Money
Hello Sir ; I am 55 years old & have decided to retire by end of 2025 . My wife is in teaching profession , earns appx. 3.5 L / annum & will continue her service till 2037( @60 yrs. of age ) . My only child is an intellectually disabled person ( with Autism ) , 14 years of age & will be incapable to earn . As on date , I have 60 L in MF , going to sell a property by end of this year @ 41 L ( it is fixed ) , appx 5L in Bank & postal FD . My wife have 45L in MF as on date & 3 fully paid premium ULIP policy which will be matured by 2030. She can get appx. 25 L from there . This is by and large my family financial status . Now , my queries to you that with this corpus , how we manage our ( myself & wife’s ) livelihood & most important that to manage a continuous cash flow for my disabled child till his age 65 i.e. 50 years from now . Primarily , I have thought of SWP & MIS schemes to get regular income for th retirement . My present family expense is appx. 1L per month . Therefore , I do seek your expert advice in this regards . I will be highly obliged if you kindly address to my query . thanking you , with best regards ; Suprabhat Jatty.
Ans: Hi Suprabhat,

Let us analyse all things in detail - one at a time.
1. 5L in Bank and FD - this is your emergency fund. But if there is a lock-in on the postal FD, you need atleast 5 lakhs in bank FD as your emergency fund.
2. Health Insurance - it is the prime requirement for you and your family. You should have one covering you, your spouse as well as your kid. It will help you in uncertain health conditions of youself and family.
3. ULIP Policy - Usually policies like such are not beneficial. But these are all paid-up, good point here. Whenever you get this, try to invest it in equity and hybrid mutual funds.
4. You will get 41 lakhs from property selling. Invest the entire amount in mutual funds, a mix of equity and debt funds.
5. Cumulative MF portfolio = 1.05 crores. As the entire corpus is huge, take the advice of a proper advisor on managing your overall investments and portfolio. A guided investment always generates better result than a random portfolio.

Your annual needs - 12 lakhs; Wife will earn - 3.5 lakhs till 2037. You need additional 8.5 lakhs per year to manage your expenses.
- You can initiate a SWP from your overall savings after allocating it in correct funds with the help of advisor.
- You need to have a dedicated corpus for your son's need in your absence. Atleast 50-70 lakhs should be kept solely for your son.
- The overall corpus seems insufficient to meet your requirements for now. You can either postpone your retirement and create an additional savings corpus for your future and son. Or you may consider to work on your monthly budget.

Do work with a professional advisor to guide you with exact funds to meet your desired goals.
Hence consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am 43 years old married man, arranged marriage. Married for past 13 years with 4 kids (aged 2, 3, 10 and 13). I work abroad with good salary package and live with my family. My wife is MSc. and home maker. She teaches the kids and cooks and takes good care of kids. I am academic research scholar. From the start of our marriage, I noticed my wife does not open much and moderate religious person. I am also not very extrovert person. I work from 8 am to 5 pm in office which is walkable distance from my house. After coming from office, I help her in kichen daily, look after the kids, help kids in math, clean the house, put the yougest kid to sleep, then I get some 'me' time which happens only after 11:30 pm in the night. I dont use phone untill everybody is sleep or my kids dont allow me to use phone while i am playing with them. Now sometimes I feel we are just room mates with 1-2 times sex in a month. In terms of love with my wife, I initiate all the time, she never expresses love. I am not very possessive kind of person. She does not show any interest in my work and never ask me hows my day etc. She only smiles and rarely laught. I thought may be it will improve with time. There is no money issue, she buys what ever she likes. She has her own card and I provide extra money if she asks. I assumed may be she does not like me from the beginning but staying in marriage due to family pressure and kids. I am average looking person and dont accept everything what she says in terms of investment, holiday etc. I had accepted my fate. She started doing book writing and publishing online and now earning and keeping separate account, She is very excited about it and feels happy and shares with me the publication but not the earnings. I give suggestions and money what ever she asks for marketting and promotion etc. I am happy for her. Recently I came across an email in her phone which was from her ex. There was a long deleted chat, in summary they were madly in love but could not get married, i dont know the reason or even she never spoke about him. they kept chatting even after our marriage. Her ex got married and divorsed with one grownup kid. He is single and work abroad in a different country with good salary package (may be better than mine). She emailed him after long time I guess but now she is secretly chatting with him very often. she keeps her phone locked and deletes the chats. He is also interested and asking her to leave and marry him. She is not saying yes to him but regrets that she married me. At this point I dont know if I should talk to her regarding this but she will definitely be upset to know i checked her phone. Few years back we had a major fight (that time i didnot know about her ex), i had proposed for divorse and settle it mutually if she is not happy with me but she denied and stayed. I dont know what I should do to make her happy. we both are from very respected family in the society and I dont know if her parents knew about her affair. Even though she is chatting with him but she behaves very normal with me, no fight no argument, as if nothing is happening. I dont know whats in her mind, is she just casually chatting with him or buying time, waiting for the right moment to leave? Shall I file for divorse or accept my fate as room mates. Am I worrying too much?
Ans: First, let me say this clearly: you are not worrying “too much.” Your concerns are valid. When emotional connection, affection, and curiosity about each other’s inner worlds are absent for years, and when secrecy enters the relationship, it naturally shakes trust. The fact that she is emotionally engaging with a past love, hiding communication, and expressing regret about marrying you — even if not directly to your face — is not a small or harmless thing. It doesn’t automatically mean she will leave, but it does mean there is unresolved emotional business that cannot be ignored.
At the same time, it’s important not to jump straight to extremes like divorce or silent resignation. Right now, the most important thing is clarity — for you and for her. Living as silent roommates while carrying this knowledge will slowly erode your self-worth and peace of mind. You deserve honesty, and your marriage deserves a chance to be examined truthfully, not just maintained for appearances, family reputation, or routine.
If you choose to speak to her, the way you approach it will matter far more than the fact that you looked at her phone. Try not to lead with accusation or surveillance. Lead with your emotional reality. You can say something like: you’ve been feeling emotionally distant for a long time, you feel you’re always the one initiating closeness, and recently you’ve felt even more unsettled and insecure about where you stand in her life. You don’t need to reveal every detail of what you saw immediately; the goal is to open a conversation about emotional honesty, not to trap her in a confession.
Pay close attention to how she responds. Not defensiveness alone, but whether she shows willingness to reflect, to talk about her inner world, and to consider rebuilding emotional intimacy with you. A marriage can sometimes be repaired even after emotional betrayal — but only if both partners are willing to be transparent and actively work on reconnecting. If she avoids the conversation, minimizes your feelings, or continues secrecy, then you will have important information about where the marriage truly stands.
It’s also worth acknowledging something gently but honestly: your wife may have spent years emotionally closed not because of you alone, but because she never fully processed the loss of that earlier relationship. Her recent independence and success may have stirred unresolved emotions and old longings. That explains her behavior, but it does not justify secrecy or emotional infidelity. Understanding this can help you speak with compassion without sacrificing your boundaries.
Before making any legal decisions, I strongly encourage you to consider couples counseling, ideally with someone experienced in long-term marriages and emotional affairs. A neutral space can help both of you speak truths that feel too risky at home. It will also help you understand whether she wants to stay and rebuild, or whether she is emotionally preparing to leave.
As for “accepting your fate,” I want to be very clear: accepting a life where you feel invisible, undesired, and emotionally alone is not a virtue. It is a slow form of self-erasure. Your children benefit most not from parents who silently endure, but from adults who model honesty, self-respect, and emotional responsibility.
You don’t have to decide everything right now. But you do need to stop carrying this alone. The next step is not divorce or resignation — it’s an honest, calm, courageous conversation focused on emotional truth. From there, the path forward will become clearer, even if it’s difficult.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My husband doesn't lock the door when we have s**. This was the main reason for his ex-wife to divorce him. His parents feel that it is safer to keep the door unlocked in case of emergencies. But honestly,I feel awkward. I am not comfortable. Once his sister casually walked in to pick up some stuff, ignoring us on the bed. I was clothed but it still made me feel uncomfortable. We don't have a private bedroom but we use the bed at night. There are two shared wardrobes in the room which people need to access. I have explained this to my husband but he says I need to learn to adjust and work around it. Even if the door is closed, I always fear that someone might just walk in. What to do?
Ans: This is not a small preference issue. This is about personal boundaries and bodily autonomy. Even if nothing “bad” has happened, the fear of being walked in on is enough to make your body stay tense. That anxiety alone can affect your sense of dignity, desire, and emotional security. The fact that his ex-wife divorced him over the same issue tells you that this pattern is longstanding and not something you are imagining.
Your husband and his parents may frame this as “safety” or “emergency access,” but that argument does not hold when weighed against your right to privacy. Emergencies are rare; violations of comfort are happening now. A locked door during intimacy does not mean negligence—it means respect. Many families manage emergencies with simple alternatives like knocking, calling out, or keeping keys for true emergencies. What’s happening instead is that your need for privacy is being minimized, and you are being asked to suppress discomfort for the convenience of others.
The incident with his sister casually entering is especially important. Even though you were clothed, your body registered that as a boundary breach. The fact that it was brushed off is likely reinforcing your fear that this could happen again. Over time, this can quietly erode trust and sexual comfort—not because you’re “overthinking,” but because your nervous system is constantly on alert.
You need to shift the conversation with your husband away from “adjustment” and toward non-negotiable boundaries. This isn’t about arguing logic; it’s about stating a clear emotional and physical limit. You might say something like:
“I cannot feel safe or comfortable being intimate without privacy. This isn’t something I can adjust to. If intimacy continues without a locked door, I will start avoiding it—not out of punishment, but because my body feels unsafe.”
That’s not a threat. That’s honesty.
If the room layout is genuinely impractical, then the solution is not for you to tolerate discomfort, but for the household to change logistics—restricted access at night, fixed timings, or creating a private space. Privacy is a shared responsibility, not a burden placed on one person to endure.
If your husband continues to dismiss this after you clearly express it, that’s a deeper issue than doors. It signals a lack of attunement to your emotional safety, and that deserves serious attention—possibly with a counselor, especially given that this issue has already broken a marriage before.
You are not asking for something unreasonable. You are asking for respect.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Relationship
Mam, I know some ways by which i can change my state of mind from lazy to working.. and having pressure/deadline helps to move on. But still I'm get trapped in guilt of actions and don't feel confident that next time i will be able to control myself..( cuz some actions give short pleasure/gratification easily.. but guilts also). And in all those silent, sad, depressed emotional time my Real working time gets wasted.. and feels like I just live in more guilt and saddness..even if it hurts. But don't wanna live like that!! What I do?
Ans: Dear Work,
Focus in any area of Life comes only when you realize WHY you are doing WHAT you are doing in that area.
For eg: If you decide to lose weight and just randomly join the gym without understanding WHY you are in the gym, a few days later, you will drop out. Mind you, that LOSING WEIGHT is not your reason; WHY do you want to lose that weight is the only thing that will keep you focused and motivated.
Hence, if you are giving into short term distractions, then obviously whatever it is that you are doing is not interesting you and so you get easily distracted.
Take one area of your life at a time; drop your goals in paper and mark a strong WHY against each. If it isn't motivating you enough, go back to the Drawing Board and do the exercise until you find that fire in your belly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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