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Sanjeev Govila | Answer |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner - Answered on Jan 29, 2023

Colonel Sanjeev Govila (retd) is the founder of Hum Fauji Initiatives, a financial planning company dedicated to the armed forces personnel and their families.
He has over 12 years of experience in financial planning and is a SEBI certified registered investment advisor; he is also accredited with AMFI and IRDA.... more

Question by Tarun on Jan 27, 2023Hindi

Money

Hello Sir, I can invest monthly 10-15k on SIP for 20 years. Please suggest food schemes. My current age is 37

Ans: Very first point to note is that when you write that you’re investing for 20 years, please do imbibe it into your thinking too that you’re in it for a very long term. Typically investors change their investing horizon as per the market conditions – if markets remain good, they’re long term players, if markets turn down, they start exiting in panic and become short term players. Please remember that markets will always give great returns only if you ‘spend time in the markets, rather than try timing the market’.

Since you’re just 37 years old, you have a huge age advantage (those younger have even more advantage!) – use it to your benefit. I have no idea about your other investments, your future financial goals and your risk profile (implying how much volatility are you comfortable with in the markets). So I’m just giving you a high-equity portfolio which is a long term portfolio but needs to be reviewed and maybe rebalanced every year. I’m also assuming that you have no other funds or equity.

The portfolio that I would suggest is:-
1. Large Cap - 20% of SIP amount - HDFC Index Fund
2. Flexicap – 20% - Parag Parikh Flexicap Fund
3. Midcap – 20% - Kotak Emerging Equity Fund
4. Aggressive Hybrid – 20% - Canara Robeco Equity Hybrid Fund
5. Small Cap – 20% - SBI Small Cap Fund

In the above portfolio, the last, Small Cap category, will be very volatile and you will need to get used to it. If you’re not up to its gyrations, stick to first four with 25% allocation each.

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan |7635 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Question by shailesh - Nov 06, 2023Hindi

Money

My age is 57 years old. You may please advise me to invest in some SIPs of Rs. 15000/- per month for 5 years.

Ans: starting an SIP at 57 is a commendable step towards securing your financial future. Here’s a thoughtful approach tailored for you:

Risk Assessment: At this stage, capital preservation becomes paramount. Opt for balanced funds or hybrid funds that provide a blend of equity and debt. This offers growth potential while cushioning against market volatility.
Asset Allocation: Diversify your SIPs across asset classes to spread risk. Consider allocating a portion to equity for growth and the remainder to debt for stability.
Tenure Consideration: A 5-year SIP is relatively short-term in the investment horizon. However, it's essential to align with your retirement plans. Ensure the chosen funds have a consistent track record over this period.
Tax Efficiency: Look for tax-saving SIPs under Section 80C, if you haven’t exhausted the limit. This can provide tax benefits while growing your wealth.
Periodic Review: Regularly monitor the performance of your SIPs. If any fund underperforms consistently, consider switching to a better-performing fund.
Stay Informed: Keep yourself updated with the market trends and financial news. This helps in making informed decisions and staying ahead of potential risks.
Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This will provide a financial cushion during unforeseen circumstances without liquidating your investments.
Remember, the goal is not just to invest but to invest wisely. It's essential to strike a balance between growth and stability, ensuring your investments align with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Your commitment to investing at this stage reflects prudence and foresight. Best wishes for your investment journey!

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7635 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2024Hindi

Money

Kindly advise 5 SIP plan for long term investment like 15 to 20 years approx 30k per month

Ans: Investing in SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) is a great way to accumulate wealth over the long term. Here's a diversified SIP portfolio tailored for a long-term investment horizon of 15 to 20 years with an approximate monthly investment of 30,000 rupees:

Large Cap Fund: Invest 6,000 rupees per month

Objective: Invests predominantly in large-cap stocks with a track record of consistent growth and stability.
Rationale: Large-cap stocks tend to be less volatile and offer stability to the portfolio, making them suitable for long-term wealth creation.
Multi-Cap Fund: Invest 6,000 rupees per month

Objective: Invests across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks to capitalize on diverse opportunities in the Indian equity market.
Rationale: Multi-cap funds offer flexibility to invest in companies across market capitalizations, providing potential for higher returns while managing risk effectively.
Mid Cap Fund: Invest 6,000 rupees per month

Objective: Focuses on investing in mid-cap companies with strong growth potential and the ability to outperform over the long term.
Rationale: Mid-cap stocks have the potential for significant capital appreciation, making them suitable for investors with a long-term investment horizon.
Small Cap Fund: Invest 6,000 rupees per month

Objective: Invests in small-cap companies with the potential for high growth but higher risk.
Rationale: Small-cap stocks offer the potential for substantial wealth creation over the long term, albeit with higher volatility. They can be rewarding for patient investors willing to withstand market fluctuations.
Balanced Advantage Fund: Invest 6,000 rupees per month

Objective: Maintains a dynamic asset allocation strategy between equity and debt instruments based on market valuations, aiming to provide stability and growth.
Rationale: Balanced advantage funds offer downside protection during market downturns while capturing upside potential during market upswings. They provide a balanced approach to long-term wealth creation with reduced volatility.
Before investing, consider your risk tolerance, investment goals, and financial situation. It's advisable to consult with a financial advisor to tailor the investment plan to your specific needs and circumstances. Additionally, regularly review your portfolio and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards your long-term financial goals.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7635 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Question by Rahul - May 01, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi i am 40 yrs of age and want to start with SIP of 15 k can you please suggest combination of some MFs.

Ans: Starting a SIP with a monthly investment of 15k is a commendable step towards building wealth over time. Here's a suggested combination of mutual funds across different categories to consider:

Large Cap Funds: These funds invest in large, established companies with a track record of stable growth. They offer stability to your portfolio.
Mid Cap Funds: Mid-cap funds invest in stocks of medium-sized companies with high growth potential. They can provide an opportunity for higher returns over the long term.
Flexi Cap Funds: Flexi cap funds have the flexibility to invest across companies of various market capitalizations, offering a well-diversified portfolio.
Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds dynamically manage asset allocation between equity and debt based on market conditions, offering a balanced approach to investing.
By diversifying across these categories, you can create a well-rounded portfolio that balances growth potential with risk management. Remember to choose funds based on your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can help tailor the portfolio to your specific needs and circumstances. Happy investing!

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7635 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

Question by vishnu - Jun 28, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi sir iam 36 yrs right now.i am planning to start sip of around 10000rs per month.please suggest some funds to invest

Ans: starting a SIP is a great decision. It's good to start early and stay consistent.

At 36, you have ample time to build a strong portfolio.

Importance of SIPs
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) are powerful.

They help you invest small amounts regularly and build wealth over time.

SIPs also bring discipline and mitigate market volatility.

Categories of Mutual Funds
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity funds invest in stocks.

They offer high growth potential but come with higher risk.

Ideal for long-term goals due to compounding.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt funds invest in bonds and fixed-income securities.

They provide stable returns with lower risk.

Suitable for short to medium-term goals.

Hybrid Mutual Funds
Hybrid funds combine equity and debt.

They balance risk and reward.

Good for medium-term goals.

Evaluating Your Risk Appetite
Before choosing funds, assess your risk tolerance.

Higher risk can bring higher rewards but also higher losses.

Choose a mix of funds that match your comfort level.

Recommended Fund Types
Large Cap Funds
Large cap funds invest in large, established companies.

They are less volatile and provide stable returns.

Mid Cap Funds
Mid cap funds invest in medium-sized companies.

They offer higher growth potential with moderate risk.

Small Cap Funds
Small cap funds invest in small, emerging companies.

They are high-risk but can give high returns over the long term.

Multi Cap Funds
Multi cap funds invest across large, mid, and small cap stocks.

They offer diversification and balance risk and reward.

Balanced Advantage Funds
Balanced advantage funds adjust between equity and debt.

They provide stability and growth.

Suitable for moderate risk investors.

Steps to Start Your SIP
Define Your Goals

Identify your financial goals.

Is it retirement, children's education, or a big purchase?

Set Your Budget

You mentioned Rs. 10,000 per month.

Make sure it's affordable and sustainable.

Choose Fund Categories

Based on your risk appetite, select a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds.

Start Small and Increase Gradually

Begin with Rs. 10,000 and increase as your income grows.

Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly review your investments.

Rebalance your portfolio based on performance and market conditions.

This keeps your investments aligned with your goals.

Tax Implications
Understand the tax implications of your investments.

Equity funds held for over a year have lower tax rates.

Debt funds held for over three years benefit from indexation.

Final Insights
Starting a SIP is a smart move.

Your plan to invest Rs. 10,000 monthly is a great start.

Diversify across large cap, mid cap, small cap, and balanced funds.

Monitor and rebalance regularly to stay on track.

With consistency and smart choices, you’ll achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

Latest Questions

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7635 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi

Money

I am 66 years old and retired and have one daughter married and well settled and has 2 children aged 5 years son and 3 years daughter. I have no liabilities and have a family income of Rs.3 lakhs per month thru rental. My monthly expenses is Rs 50 K per month and annual payments of medical, vehicle and property tax is Rs.3.25 Lakhs. I have direct equity invested around 1.2 CR and Invested in PMS now valued at Rs.85 Lakhs. I have plot valued at 1.6 CR and 2 independent house valued at 3cr. I have a commercial property which gives me above rental is valued at Rs.5 CR. Now kindly advise me how i should investment my earnings which will help my daughter and 2 grand children for for their future education. My above income is after paying the taxes to the government. I lead a simple life and travel every year 2 times.

Ans: Your financial position is strong with no liabilities.

Monthly rental income of Rs. 3 lakhs covers your expenses and lifestyle.

Monthly expenses of Rs. 50,000 and annual expenses of Rs. 3.25 lakhs leave ample surplus.

You have diversified assets, including equity (Rs. 1.2 crore), PMS (Rs. 85 lakhs), real estate (Rs. 9.6 crore), and regular rental income.

You lead a simple life, which allows significant potential for wealth accumulation and legacy planning.

Investment Goals
Your primary focus is to:

Ensure financial security for your family.

Support your daughter and grandchildren’s education and future needs.

Maintain sufficient liquidity for personal travel and unexpected medical costs.

Recommendations for Asset Allocation
1. Equity Investments
Your current direct equity portfolio (Rs. 1.2 crore) and PMS (Rs. 85 lakhs) are commendable.

Direct equity requires active tracking and expertise.

Shift part of your direct equity to regular mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

Regular funds offer professional management and long-term growth.

Retain PMS if it meets your return expectations and aligns with your risk appetite.

2. Emergency Fund
Allocate 6–12 months of expenses to liquid funds.

This ensures liquidity for unexpected expenses or emergencies.

Investments for Daughter and Grandchildren
1. Education Fund for Grandchildren
Start investing in child-focused mutual funds for their education.

Choose regular funds through an experienced Certified Financial Planner.

These funds offer professional management and goal-based growth.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) in equity funds can help accumulate the required corpus.

2. Legacy Fund
Invest in diversified mutual funds for wealth creation.

Choose a mix of large-cap, flexi-cap, and balanced advantage funds.

This portfolio can grow steadily while preserving wealth.

Real Estate Diversification
Avoid further investments in real estate.

Real estate is illiquid and challenging to manage during retirement.

Liquidate one property if diversification is needed.

Use the proceeds to invest in mutual funds or bonds.

Fixed Income Options
Consider investing in corporate bonds or debentures for steady income.

Choose bonds rated “AAA” for safety.

Avoid annuities as they provide low returns and limited flexibility.

Tax-Efficient Planning
Review tax-saving strategies with a Certified Financial Planner.

Equity investments (LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%) are tax-efficient.

Ensure proper tax documentation for real estate and rental income.

Track PMS returns and tax implications yearly.

Liquidity and Annual Expenses
Set aside Rs. 25–30 lakhs in a liquid fund.

This covers your annual travel, property taxes, and medical expenses.

Keep medical insurance for yourself and your family updated.

Succession and Estate Planning
Create a will to ensure smooth asset transfer.

Include clear instructions for property distribution.

Discuss creating a trust for your grandchildren’s education and future needs.

Travel and Lifestyle Funding
Use rental income surplus to fund annual travel.

Avoid withdrawing from long-term investments for discretionary expenses.

Final Insights
You have built a strong financial foundation.

Focus on simplifying investments for better management.

Diversify and invest in professionally managed mutual funds.

Plan for family needs with a balanced approach to risk and growth.

Regularly review your portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Rajesh Kumar Singh |42 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, GATE Expert - Answered on Jan 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir I had filled my jee mains form with general category, my exams are done and I have my ews certificate with me so how can I change my category from general to ews. Please help

Ans: Chances are Slim,Approach exam controller with affidavit.

Milind Vadjikar |917 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 26, 2025

Question by Rocky - Jan 25, 2025Hindi

Money

I want to retire this year i m 43. My current corpus 1.3 crore mf , 34 lac pf, father house in tier 2 city. Own house in bangalore - 2 crore value, 25000 EMI home loan till 2030. Monthly expenses 50k. 1st son class 9, 2nd son nursery. Spouse is housewife. Can i retire?

Ans: Hello;

I do not think it is possible now.

Simply because your current corpus won't be able to generate a monthly income that can sustain your expenses and home loan EMI.

Ofcourse in addition to these you have to invest for higher education of your kids and provide them a decent lifestyle.

Education inflation in India is most frighteningly high.

Also need to keep some amount as emergency fund.

A thorough and detailed analysis of all aspects is essential before retirement decision.

Best wishes;
X: @ mars_invest

Milind Vadjikar |917 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2025Hindi

Money

I am a 30 year old freelance content writer. Me and my parents (a family of 3) have a total corpus of 1.1 cr invested only in FDs (no stocks or MFs). I have no plans on getting married and will explore spirituality in 2-3 years of time. Probably, at 33, I want to stop working and we three will rely solely on this 1.1 cr + some additions by me. Please guide if it is a feasible plan. How much more money should I add in the next 3 years for an early retirement at 33? We rely only on interest generated from FDs. Thanks in advance!

Ans: Hello;

My suggestion would be to add another 20 L to this corpus over 3 years.

Instead of FD you can buy your parents an immediate annuity for 1.2 Cr from a life insurance company.

This may involve GST payment but it will avoid FD renewal and interest rate risk.

You may opt for joint annuity for both parents with return of purchase price to their nominee(yourself).

After making the annuity for 1.2 Cr with GST, the balance amount may be retained in saving account as emergency fund.

Best wishes;

Milind Vadjikar |917 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2025Hindi

Money

I am 35 year old. My portfolio value is 45 lakhs. 35 lakhs in MF. 5 lakhs direct stocks. 5 lakhs in EPF + FD. I do an SIP of 1 lakh a month. By what age can I retire and how much corpus should I have. I have a 3BHK home worth 1 cr. Remaining loan to be paid is 35 lakhs.

Ans: Hello;

You may continue with the 1 L sip for next 15 years.

The home loan, in all probability would have been fully paid by then.

Also your sip and current corpus (MF+Direct stocks) may grow into a sum of around 6 Cr.

If you invest it in a equity savings type mutual fund and do a SWP at the rate of 4%, you may expect post tax monthly income of around 1.75 L.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

Kanchan Rai |507 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi

Relationship

He ma'am, Me and my husband are of same age 35 and its been 5yrs we got married but we don't have physical relationship at all my husband says we don't have intimacy, I forced home to visit doctor and the blood reports says all okay, as per his saying cause I don't understand the medical terms much....but if everything is okay medically still he never tries to come closer earlier we tried but he use stop in between before having sex and run to washroom and sit there for long ...and this was becoming mystry for me,bi asked him he said everything is fine it will take time and everything will be fine earlier he use to use washroom for long but now he does not .....in expectation that things will become better I wasted my 5 yrs. As a person he is good but as a husband he is lacks i wated my carrier as I am not getting any job in perticular city, and with is I started feeling useless as I had dreamt of living peaceful and happy life with him but everything went wrong no love, no emotional support, no physical intimacy no carrier nothing. I shared this with my mother in law as he was behind me for baby so one day I told her that we don't have physical relationship so please don't expect baby he didn't believe me but later on she started believing but she didn't take any action she is quite...how will I survive in this environment when I don't have reason to live...my husband support my family financially and because of that I not able to take any step..I feel suffocated at my in-laws place, I don't like to stay there he just makes me happy by shopping, watching movies that it but is this enough for the happy relationship. I was so friendly with him that I said that let me know what there in your mind you don't like me he said no I like you...then I asked him then why you don't want to get physical I started getting self-doubt on myself, he said you don't respond while sex but you tell me in 5 years we hardly tried 6-7 time and I responded him but he use to run to washroom in mid of play what would I do then I tried giving him hints for having sex but he use to ignore now you say that in 5 yrs of period we didn't has sex then don't you think there's major issue and when I say we should visit doctor then he says I have medical proof that I am physically fine... coming on my MIL part she used our bedroom toilet though we have 2 washroom out is western so she uses ours so there is no privacy our bedroom is never locked because of my MIL when I Iock my husband gets early in morning and open the lock for my MI, please tell me is this right every now and then she comes in our room and interfere in our conversation, her this behaviour feels like she is insecure about his son as FIL is more...I discuss with my husband that atleast we should have our privacy so he says yes but take no action...he does commitment but never fulfills...basic expectations I have from him that if not physical then atleast spent time with me, let's go and explore place he says yes but never go, I agreed on every point I lived according to my MIL she is selfish instead of knowing all problem she just want fasting for his son, making food what he likes, doing puja for his son success...you tell me in return I am not getting anything still I kept on doing my best to prove best bshu and best wife but no good change... I going through anxiety, stress, depression because of this I lost my confidence, no carrier nothing....now I decided to look for job in other city and thing for my mental peace and become independent because staying with him in 5 yrs didn't bring good changes instead I lost myself in my making them happy...what should I do please help ...he say that I don't want weekend wife now you tell me why I not think of myself now he says, I want to stay with you but if there is not change after so many try then it's useless he always says will work this out but it never happened, I tried my best.now I said will look for job in other city and will meet in weekend spend time together, and I will be there in all your worst situation. But now I can be jobless and asking for money everytime from him....he thinks money is the solution for all.He says no weekend wife how long this will work then but he is not giving me any choice, he says though I want to stay with you but if weekend wife the seperation is only option no divorce but seperation please guide *regarding physical relationship, *regarding my MIL interference despite of knowing everything, no privacy, her insecurity *And my decision of taking job in other as I am not getting opportunity in same city, staying together is also brings no change. Pls suggest.

Ans: The issue with the lack of physical intimacy is not simply about the act itself; it represents a disconnect in your relationship. Your husband's avoidance of intimacy and his reluctance to fully address the matter, despite your efforts, suggest deeper underlying challenges—perhaps emotional, psychological, or situational. While you’ve already taken steps by opening conversations, it’s clear that progress has stalled because this isn’t something you can resolve on your own. A professional intervention, such as couples therapy or sex therapy, could provide a neutral ground to explore these concerns. Presenting this option to him as an opportunity to strengthen the relationship rather than assign blame might help him feel less defensive. However, his willingness to engage will be a critical measure of his commitment to addressing these long-standing issues.

The lack of boundaries with your mother-in-law is another significant stressor that’s undermining your marriage and your mental peace. A healthy relationship requires a sense of security and privacy, which has been compromised by her interference. While it’s natural to want to maintain respect within a family, your husband’s inability or unwillingness to enforce boundaries is enabling a dynamic where you feel powerless and overlooked. The fact that you’ve expressed your concerns and seen no action suggests that waiting for change may not lead anywhere. You need to clearly communicate to your husband that privacy is not negotiable for the survival of your relationship. If he continues to prioritize his mother’s comfort over your peace, it will remain a barrier to the intimacy and connection you’re seeking.

The decision to pursue a job in another city reflects your need to reclaim control over your life and mental well-being. This isn’t just about financial independence—it’s about rediscovering your sense of purpose and confidence after years of feeling stuck. Your husband’s opposition to the idea of a “weekend wife” underscores his resistance to change, but his reluctance to address the core issues in the relationship leaves you with no alternative. Staying in this environment without progress will only deepen your feelings of suffocation and self-doubt. Choosing to prioritize your career is not a failure of the relationship; it’s a necessary step to protect your own mental health. You’ve already demonstrated immense patience and effort over the past five years, and now it’s time to invest in yourself.

As a coach, I would encourage you to focus on actionable steps: seeking therapy for clarity, setting non-negotiable boundaries with your husband regarding privacy and mutual respect, and pursuing your professional goals with confidence. By stepping into a space where you feel empowered, you’ll be in a better position to assess whether this relationship can evolve into the partnership you deserve. It’s important to remember that you’re not walking away from the marriage by making these decisions—you’re simply ensuring that your needs and well-being are no longer sidelined.

Kanchan Rai |507 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025

Relationship

He ma'am, Me and my husband are of same age 35 and its been 5yrs we got married but we don't have physical relationship at all my husband says we don't have intimacy, I forced home to visit doctor and the blood reports says all okay, as per his saying cause I don't understand the medical terms much....but if everything is okay medically still he never tries to come closer earlier we tried but he use stop in between before having sex and run to washroom and sit there for long ...and this was becoming mystry for me,bi asked him he said everything is fine it will take time and everything will be fine earlier he use to use washroom for long but now he does not .....in expectation that things will become better I wasted my 5 yrs. As a person he is good but as a husband he is lacks i wated my carrier as I am not getting any job in perticular city, and with is I started feeling useless as I had dreamt of living peaceful and happy life with him but everything went wrong no love, no emotional support, no physical intimacy no carrier nothing. I shared this with my mother in law as he was behind me for baby so one day I told her that we don't have physical relationship so please don't expect baby he didn't believe me but later on she started believing but she didn't take any action she is quite...how will I survive in this environment when I don't have reason to live...my husband support my family financially and because of that I not able to take any step..I feel suffocated at my in-laws place, I don't like to stay there he just makes me happy by shopping, watching movies that it but is this enough for the happy relationship. I was so friendly with him that I said that let me know what there in your mind you don't like me he said no I like you...then I asked him then why you don't want to get physical I started getting self-doubt on myself, he said you don't respond while sex but you tell me in 5 years we hardly tried 6-7 time and I responded him but he use to run to washroom in mid of play what would I do then I tried giving him hints for having sex but he use to ignore now you say that in 5 yrs of period we didn't has sex then don't you think there's major issue and when I say we should visit doctor then he says I have medical proof that I am physically fine... coming on my MIL part she used our bedroom toilet though we have 2 washroom out is western so she uses ours so there is no privacy our bedroom is never locked because of my MIL when I Iock my husband gets early in morning and open the lock for my MI, please tell me is this right every now and then she comes in our room and interfere in our conversation, her this behaviour feels like she is insecure about his son as FIL is more...I discuss with my husband that atleast we should have our privacy so he says yes but take no action...he does commitment but never fulfills...basic expectations I have from him that if not physical then atleast spent time with me, let's go and explore place he says yes but never go, I agreed on every point I lived according to my MIL she is selfish instead of knowing all problem she just want fasting for his son, making food what he likes, doing puja for his son success...you tell me in return I am not getting anything still I kept on doing my best to prove best bshu and best wife but no good change... I going through anxiety, stress, depression because of this I lost my confidence, no carrier nothing....now I decided to look for job in other city and thing for my mental peace and become independent because staying with him in 5 yrs didn't bring good changes instead I lost myself in my making them happy...what should I do please help ...he say that I don't want weekend wife now you tell me why I not think of myself now he says, I want to stay with you but if there is not change after so many try then it's useless he always says will work this out but it never happened, I tried my best.now I said will look for job in other city and will meet in weekend spend time together, and I will be there in all your worst situation. But now I can be jobless and asking for money everytime from him....he thinks money is the solution for all.He says no weekend wife how long this will work then but he is not giving me any choice, he says though I want to stay with you but if weekend wife the seperation is only option no divorce but seperation please guide *regarding physical relationship, *regarding my MIL interference despite of knowing everything, no privacy, her insecurity *And my decision of taking job in other as I am not getting opportunity in same city, staying together is also brings no change. Pls suggest.

Ans: The issue with the lack of physical intimacy is not simply about the act itself; it represents a disconnect in your relationship. Your husband's avoidance of intimacy and his reluctance to fully address the matter, despite your efforts, suggest deeper underlying challenges—perhaps emotional, psychological, or situational. While you’ve already taken steps by opening conversations, it’s clear that progress has stalled because this isn’t something you can resolve on your own. A professional intervention, such as couples therapy or sex therapy, could provide a neutral ground to explore these concerns. Presenting this option to him as an opportunity to strengthen the relationship rather than assign blame might help him feel less defensive. However, his willingness to engage will be a critical measure of his commitment to addressing these long-standing issues.

The lack of boundaries with your mother-in-law is another significant stressor that’s undermining your marriage and your mental peace. A healthy relationship requires a sense of security and privacy, which has been compromised by her interference. While it’s natural to want to maintain respect within a family, your husband’s inability or unwillingness to enforce boundaries is enabling a dynamic where you feel powerless and overlooked. The fact that you’ve expressed your concerns and seen no action suggests that waiting for change may not lead anywhere. You need to clearly communicate to your husband that privacy is not negotiable for the survival of your relationship. If he continues to prioritize his mother’s comfort over your peace, it will remain a barrier to the intimacy and connection you’re seeking.

The decision to pursue a job in another city reflects your need to reclaim control over your life and mental well-being. This isn’t just about financial independence—it’s about rediscovering your sense of purpose and confidence after years of feeling stuck. Your husband’s opposition to the idea of a “weekend wife” underscores his resistance to change, but his reluctance to address the core issues in the relationship leaves you with no alternative. Staying in this environment without progress will only deepen your feelings of suffocation and self-doubt. Choosing to prioritize your career is not a failure of the relationship; it’s a necessary step to protect your own mental health. You’ve already demonstrated immense patience and effort over the past five years, and now it’s time to invest in yourself.

As a coach, I would encourage you to focus on actionable steps: seeking therapy for clarity, setting non-negotiable boundaries with your husband regarding privacy and mutual respect, and pursuing your professional goals with confidence. By stepping into a space where you feel empowered, you’ll be in a better position to assess whether this relationship can evolve into the partnership you deserve. It’s important to remember that you’re not walking away from the marriage by making these decisions—you’re simply ensuring that your needs and well-being are no longer sidelined.

Milind Vadjikar |917 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2025Hindi

Money

1) I had taken an SBI Life Insurance Policy Retire Smart - LP policy for 5 Lakhs with @1 Lakh premium paid every year. 2) Policy was taken in February 2022, and it was given understanding that I can close the policy after 3 years - without penalty. 3) I had paid 3 Lakhs as premium in this policy and I dont know the present fund value 4) Kindly advice about decision to be taken for this policy after completing 3 years, ie after 11months. My Age is 52 years

Ans: Hello;

You have been misguided about features of this policy.

It is unit linked pension plan.

There is 5 year mandatory lock-in.

Please check with your insurer about net fund value as on today.

If you do not have any other pension provision then I suggest you continue with this plan.

But for this to work you have to hold it till maturity/vesting and then opt for pension.

Review the funds selected are in line with your risk profile and requirement.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

Milind Vadjikar |917 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 26, 2025

Question by Vijayan - Jan 24, 2025Hindi

Money

Hi, My Age is 32 Have been working for the past 10 years in shipping and have been only investing aggressively. I have an Equity portfolio of 35Lks, FD's Worth 7.5lks, An apartment worth 40lks(20lks loan pending) generating rental of 15K per month, 3 plots total worth(80lks no loan), 2 shops worth 25lks(Rental generated 18K), Gold 1.5Kg, One more Apartment self occupied 70lks(no loan). I wish to retire at 35 and pursue my business in wholesale supermarket, I am married and with one kid, My Monthly Expenses comes to 80K to 1.2Lk(depends on some months), what approach should I have to generate this amount of money.

Ans: Hello;

How much capital you require for this business?

Do you plan to borrow or self finance this business?

You will have to ring fence your existing assets and passive income from the business volatilities.

Hope none of your existing assets will be offered as security for the loan.

Please reply on the points so as to advise you suitably.

Thanks;

Milind Vadjikar |917 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 26, 2025

Question by anand - Jan 24, 2025Hindi

Money

i am 50 years old . my take home salary is 78 k per month my wife is working woman she is getting 35 k in hand two child age 9 yrs and 14 yrs suggest me the sip one time or monthly . moderate risk

Ans: Hello;

You may begin a monthly sip of 50 K in a equity savings type mutual fund with moderate risk rating.

Recommend you to step up the monthly sip by 5% every year.

This may grow into a corpus of 1.18 Cr after 10 years assuming modest 9% return.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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