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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi
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Hello dear, i am currently 33 year old and am doing an sip of 39k per month for the last one year (5k in canara robecco small cap & sbi magnum midcap fund & pgim midcap opportunities, 8k in nippon small cap, 4k in tata small cap & parar parekh flexi cap fund , 3k in icici value discovery fund , 2.5k in mirae asset flexi cap & canara robecco flexi cap fund. Apart from that i have 32k per month put in RDs, 22k in chitt funds, 12.5k in sukanya samridhi yogana , 12.5 in. Nps tier -1. Will be it be enough to build a corpus of 5-6 crore after 25 years for retirement?

Ans: It's commendable that you're actively investing towards your retirement at such a young age. Let's assess your current investment strategy and whether it's sufficient to build a corpus of 5-6 crores over 25 years.

Analysis of Current Investments
SIPs in Mutual Funds
Diversification: Your SIPs across various categories such as small-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds demonstrate a diversified approach to equity investments.
Consistency: Consistently investing in SIPs over the long term can potentially generate significant wealth through the power of compounding.
Other Investments
RDs: Investing in recurring deposits provides a secure avenue for accumulating savings over time, although the returns may be modest compared to equity investments.
Chit Funds: Chit funds offer a traditional savings mechanism, but ensure that they align with your risk tolerance and financial goals.
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana: This scheme is ideal for long-term savings for your daughter's education or marriage, offering attractive interest rates and tax benefits.
NPS Tier-1: Contributing to NPS enhances your retirement savings, providing tax benefits and the potential for long-term growth.
Assessing Retirement Corpus Target
Retirement Goals
Corpus Requirement: To achieve a retirement corpus of 5-6 crores over 25 years, you need to estimate your future expenses, accounting for inflation and lifestyle expectations.
Investment Growth: Evaluate the expected growth rate of your investments, considering historical performance and market conditions.
Strategies for Building Retirement Corpus
Increase Investment Contributions
SIP Amount: Consider gradually increasing your SIP contributions annually to accelerate wealth accumulation and keep pace with inflation.
Additional Investments: Allocate any surplus income towards additional investments in mutual funds or other suitable avenues to boost your retirement corpus.
Optimize Investment Portfolio
Review and Rebalance: Periodically review your mutual fund portfolio and make necessary adjustments to ensure alignment with your financial goals and risk tolerance.
Asset Allocation: Maintain a balanced asset allocation strategy, diversifying across equity, debt, and other asset classes to manage risk effectively.
Retirement Planning Tools
Retirement Calculators: Utilize online retirement calculators to estimate your future financial needs and determine if your current savings and investments are on track to meet your retirement goals.
Professional Advice: Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized advice tailored to your specific financial situation and retirement objectives.
Conclusion
While your current investment strategy demonstrates a proactive approach towards retirement planning, achieving a corpus of 5-6 crores over 25 years requires consistent savings, disciplined investing, and periodic review of your financial plan. By optimizing your investment contributions, diversifying your portfolio, and utilizing retirement planning tools, you can work towards securing a comfortable retirement lifestyle.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

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I am 47 yrs old & have currently 3 SIP's of 10K each. 1) Parag Parekh Flexicap- ?5K 2) Kotak Emerging Equity Fund-?2500 3) Axis Small Cap Fund- ?2500 I wanted to have a Corpus of atleast 3-5 Crore in next 13 yrs till my age of 60 yrs. Should I continue with d above 3 schemes & how much SIP amt do I need to invest inorder to acheive the Corpus.
Ans: That's great you're already investing through SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans)! It shows you're on the right track to building your retirement corpus. Let's analyze your current portfolio and discuss how to reach your goals:

1. Good Start with SIPs!

Three SIPs Running! Your current SIPs of Rs. 10,000 each in a Flexi Cap, Emerging Equity, and Small Cap Fund provide some diversification across market capitalizations. This is a good starting point.

Goal in Mind! You aim for a corpus of Rs. 3-5 crore in 13 years. This requires careful planning and potentially increasing your investment amount.

2. Reaching Your Target:

Planning is Key! Accurately calculating the exact SIP amount needed is difficult without considering factors like your current corpus, expected return rate, and inflation. However, we can discuss strategies.

Review and Increase? A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can analyze your situation and suggest if you need to increase your SIP amounts to reach your target corpus. They can also consider adding other asset classes for a more balanced approach.

3. Review and Rebalance:

Market Changes! The market keeps changing, and what looks good today might not be suitable tomorrow. It's important to periodically review your portfolio with a CFP.

Stay on Track! Regularly rebalancing your portfolio helps you maintain your target asset allocation and manage risk. A CFP can guide you on how often to review and rebalance.

4. Actively Managed Funds:

Pick Winners! Your chosen funds are actively managed, meaning fund managers try to outperform the market by picking stocks they believe will grow. Actively managed funds can outperform the market, but there's no guarantee.

Consider Your Risk: Actively managed funds tend to have higher fees than passively managed Index Funds. A CFP can help you assess your risk tolerance and choose funds that align with your goals.

Remember, reaching your target corpus requires a disciplined approach, potentially increasing your SIP amounts, and regular review with a CFP. Consulting a CFP can help you create a personalized plan and increase your chances of success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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I am 37 years , married with 2 years old child, planning for retirement, education and marriage of child.. i have 12 l in FD, 21 l in lumpsum mutual fund, SIP for a year totalling 17000 per month, total assets worth 3 crores.. health insurance worth 1 crore. 3 term plans being paid for and active.. and i make 1.5 lakhs give or take a month.. .. i have started contributing to ssy account and have a education policy in aditya birla too worth around 8 lakhs at the time of maturity .. i have one pension fund being paid for 58000 per year for 15 years, already paid for 10 years... I need a corpus of 5 to 7crores within next 25 years.. am i doing enough? I have no loans or liabilities
Ans: You're on a solid path with your financial planning. Let's assess and refine your strategy to achieve your goals.

Review Current Investments

Your FD of Rs 12 lakhs and lump sum mutual funds of Rs 21 lakhs are good. Your SIP of Rs 17,000 per month shows discipline.

Consider Increasing SIP Amounts

Increasing your SIP amounts gradually can help you reach your corpus goal faster. This can leverage the power of compounding.

Allocate Funds for Retirement

Your goal of 5 to 7 crores in 25 years is achievable. Continue investing in diversified equity mutual funds for long-term growth.

Child's Education and Marriage

Your SSY contributions are a smart move. Consider child-specific mutual funds for additional growth.

Evaluate Your Pension Fund

Your pension fund contribution of Rs 58,000 per year is good. Ensure it aligns with your retirement goals.

Health and Term Insurance

Your health insurance worth Rs 1 crore and three term plans provide good coverage. Maintain these for family security.

Regularly Review and Adjust

Review your portfolio annually. Adjust based on market conditions and personal financial changes.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner

A CFP can help optimize your investment strategy. They can provide tailored advice for reaching your financial goals.

Stay Focused and Disciplined

Consistent investing and disciplined saving are key. Stay focused on your long-term goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 04, 2025

Money
I am 37. I have recently started SIP and year back or so. I have invested 2 lkhs in equity stocks, around 3.75 lkhs as of now in mutual funds and 10lkhs in bank. I am earning 1.26 lkhs per month post tax. I am savings monthly around 45-50k per month as savings and around 38k in mutual funds through SIP( nifty 50, nifty next50, midcap 150, gold sip, hdfc small cap and motilal oswal midcap). I have just one loan of emi 14k. I want to build retirement corpus of around 1-2 cr in next 10-12 yrs..is this sip amount sufficient or should I increase this. Any inputs would be much much appreciated
Ans: It’s truly inspiring that at 37, you have taken charge of your finances so seriously. Starting SIPs, building savings, investing in mutual funds and stocks, and keeping debt minimal shows excellent financial discipline. You are doing many things right already. Now, let’s assess your current plan and build towards your retirement corpus with clarity.

» Assessing Your Existing Financial Commitments

– You earn Rs.1.26 lakhs monthly after tax.

– Your loan EMI is Rs.14,000, which is less than 15% of income.

– That means your debt level is very healthy.

– You are saving Rs.45,000 to Rs.50,000 monthly. That is strong.

– Rs.38,000 of this is going to SIPs. This is a focused effort.

– The balance is staying in bank or stocks.

– Your total mutual fund corpus is around Rs.3.75 lakhs.

– You also have Rs.10 lakhs in bank, which shows good liquidity buffer.

– Rs.2 lakhs in stocks adds an equity angle.

– All combined, this is a solid financial base.

» Retirement Goal – A Realistic View

– You want Rs.1 crore to Rs.2 crore in 10 to 12 years.

– This is possible with right strategy and consistency.

– Your current SIPs of Rs.38,000 monthly is a very good start.

– But Rs.38,000 per month alone may not be enough for Rs.2 crore in 12 years.

– You’ll need to either increase SIP amount or add lump sum regularly.

– Or both. The more disciplined you stay, the faster you reach the goal.

» Good That You Are Saving in Bank, But It Needs Tweaking

– Rs.10 lakhs in bank is too high for idle cash.

– It earns low interest, less than 4%.

– Inflation eats away the value over time.

– Keep 6 months of expenses in savings or liquid fund.

– That is roughly Rs.75,000 x 6 = Rs.4.5 lakhs.

– Rest of the Rs.5.5 lakhs can be invested in mutual funds.

– Or staggered into funds through Systematic Transfer Plan (STP).

– That way your retirement goal gets more power.

» Your Stock Investment – Keep It Limited

– Rs.2 lakh in equity stocks is fine now.

– But individual stock investing needs time and expertise.

– Mutual funds are better for goal-based long-term investment.

– Stocks can be volatile. You must track them regularly.

– Keep stocks to under 10% of your total portfolio.

– Let majority stay in mutual funds, managed by experts.

» Too Much Index Investing – Not Ideal for Your Case

– You are investing in Nifty 50, Nifty Next 50, and Midcap 150.

– These are index funds. They just copy market index.

– Index funds don’t protect against downside.

– If the index falls, your fund also falls equally.

– They don’t exit weak sectors or bad companies.

– In India, markets are still inefficient.

– Good fund managers can outperform the index.

– Actively managed funds offer better stock selection.

– They handle volatility with judgement, not blind rules.

– Shift from index-heavy portfolio to quality active mutual funds.

– It’s safer and better for long-term compounding.

» Having Small Cap and Mid Cap is Good – But Needs Balance

– You have HDFC Small Cap and Motilal Oswal Midcap.

– These are high-growth, high-volatility categories.

– Small caps can fall sharply in bear markets.

– Don’t keep more than 30% in small and mid cap combined.

– Keep rest in large-cap and flexi-cap funds.

– That brings stability with decent growth.

» You Can Skip Gold SIP for Now

– Gold is good for diversification, not wealth creation.

– Returns are not as high as equity.

– Gold protects during uncertainty, but not for long-term goals.

– Keep only 5% to 10% in gold at best.

– You can skip gold SIP now and divert to equity SIP.

» Direct Plans May Appear Cheaper – But Not Better

– You may be using direct plans for SIPs.

– Direct plans save on commission but offer no advice.

– If you continue in direct plans, you miss rebalancing support.

– You may also make changes emotionally.

– Regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner offer monitoring.

– You get reports, reviews, goal tracking, and fund reshuffling help.

– Cost is slightly higher, but benefits are far greater.

» Suggest Increasing SIP Gradually Every Year

– You already invest Rs.38,000 monthly in SIPs.

– Increase SIP by 10% every year as income grows.

– This gradual step up makes a big difference in 10 years.

– You can easily reach Rs.50,000 to Rs.60,000 SIP in 3 years.

– You don’t feel the burden, but returns grow fast.

» Use Annual Bonus or Hike for Retirement Fund

– Any bonus or surplus income can be partially invested.

– Don’t spend it all. Allocate 50% to mutual funds.

– Even small lump sum investments boost your corpus.

– You can park bonus in liquid fund and do STP into equity.

» Keep Your Emergency Fund Separate

– Keep Rs.4.5 lakhs in liquid fund or savings for emergencies.

– Don’t touch this for SIP or long-term investing.

– This buffer gives peace of mind.

– It avoids breaking mutual funds during crisis.

» Your Loan is Well Within Limits

– Your EMI of Rs.14,000 is less than 15% of income.

– That is a healthy ratio.

– If this is a home loan, you get tax benefit.

– Don’t prepay it unless you have surplus after investing.

– Focus more on increasing SIP than loan prepayment.

» Nominate Family for All Investments

– Ensure all mutual fund folios have nominee added.

– Same for your stocks and bank accounts.

– This makes transmission easy for your family.

– Keep one family member informed of all investments.

» Review Portfolio Once Every Year

– Don’t change SIPs frequently.

– Review once a year with Certified Financial Planner.

– Rebalance asset allocation if it has shifted.

– Replace poor performing funds if needed.

– Add new SIPs if income has increased.

– Use review as a progress check.

» Avoid NFOs, PMS, or Fancy Investments

– Don’t invest in New Fund Offers (NFOs) blindly.

– Most NFOs do not outperform existing funds.

– Stick to tried and tested funds with long history.

– Also avoid PMS and other complex options.

– Keep investing simple, clean, and purposeful.

» Retirement Is Achievable – But Needs Strict Action

– You are 37 now, with 10 to 12 years to retire.

– You must stay fully focused on this goal.

– Track your progress yearly, not monthly.

– SIP increase, lump sum additions, and discipline are key.

– Avoid distractions and short-term greed.

– Don’t withdraw funds for lifestyle or non-goal spending.

» Taxation on Mutual Funds – Plan Redemptions

– Equity funds held for more than 1 year are long-term.

– LTCG above Rs.1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

– Short-term capital gains taxed at 20%.

– For debt funds, both gains taxed as per your slab.

– Plan redemption close to goal year for lower tax impact.

» Stay Invested for Full Period

– Don’t stop SIPs during market falls.

– That’s when you buy at lower prices.

– Compounding works well when you stay invested.

– Don’t touch mutual funds unless it is for your goal.

» Finally

– You have built a good start already.

– Just a few corrections and more structure is needed.

– Reduce index fund exposure gradually.

– Increase active fund SIPs under CFP guidance.

– Start using part of your bank savings towards goal-based mutual funds.

– Increase SIPs by 10% yearly, and use bonuses smartly.

– Track once a year, and stay on course.

– Retirement corpus of Rs.2 crore is surely achievable.

– Discipline, consistency, and expert advice will help you reach it faster.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 09, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 37 year old software engineer earning 2.6 lakhs per month. I have been saving aggressively and have corpus of 1.2 crores in mutual funds and 30 lakhs in fixed deposits. I am single and have no plans to marry. I want to retire by 45 and travel India. Is my current corpus sufficient? Should I continue SIP of 80,000 per month or increase it?
Ans: You have done extremely well in your 30s. A Rs 1.5 crore corpus at 37 shows strong discipline and consistency. Your goal of retiring by 45 to travel India is inspiring and possible with proper structure and planning. Let us review your situation in detail and understand what steps will help you reach your dream confidently.

» Current Financial Position

You are earning Rs 2.6 lakhs per month, which gives strong savings potential. Your corpus includes –

Rs 1.2 crores in mutual funds

Rs 30 lakhs in fixed deposits

This totals Rs 1.5 crores of financial assets, which is excellent for your age. Being single, your lifestyle needs are likely moderate, giving you flexibility in saving and planning early retirement.

Your SIP of Rs 80,000 per month also shows clear intent towards financial freedom. With eight years to your target retirement at 45, you still have a meaningful time horizon for compounding.

» Retirement at 45 – Key Understanding

Retiring at 45 means you may live for another 35 to 40 years post-retirement. That means your investments should generate sustainable income for four decades.

When you retire early, two factors matter most:

The amount of corpus accumulated.

The rate of withdrawal every year.

Your focus should shift from mere accumulation to ensuring longevity of wealth.

» Evaluating Your Current Corpus

Rs 1.5 crore corpus at 37 is a strong start. However, for retirement at 45, the adequacy depends on your annual expenses.

Suppose your annual expenses today are Rs 12 to 15 lakhs. With inflation at even 6%, they will double roughly in 12 years. That means at 45, your annual expenses could touch Rs 25 to 30 lakhs.

To generate that income sustainably after retirement, you will need a retirement corpus close to Rs 6 to 7 crores, assuming moderate withdrawal and conservative growth post-retirement.

This shows your current corpus is not yet sufficient for full retirement at 45. But the good news is, you are on track and have the right habits to bridge the gap in the next eight years.

» Role of SIP in Your Future Wealth

Your monthly SIP of Rs 80,000 is powerful. Over eight years, this can grow substantially. But whether to continue or increase depends on your surplus cash flow and financial comfort.

If your monthly savings rate allows, increasing your SIP by 10% every year can accelerate your compounding. Even a small annual rise can add a few extra crores to your wealth by age 45.

Remember, wealth creation is not just about the SIP amount but also about staying invested and consistent in quality funds through market cycles.

» Review of Asset Allocation

Your asset mix now shows around 80% in mutual funds and 20% in fixed deposits. This is aggressive but aligns with your age and goal.

Still, inside mutual funds, it is vital to ensure proper diversification –

Around 60–65% in equity mutual funds for long-term growth.

Around 20–25% in hybrid or balanced advantage funds for stability.

Around 10–15% in short-term debt funds or liquid funds for flexibility.

Your fixed deposits can serve as an emergency and short-term reserve. But they shouldn’t dominate long-term wealth since post-tax returns are low compared to inflation.

» Importance of Reviewing Mutual Fund Portfolio

Regular fund review is necessary, not fund hopping. Many investors stay in poor-performing funds or wrong categories without knowing.

If your funds have lagged peers for two to three years, it is time to switch to better-managed options.

Actively managed mutual funds handled by skilled fund managers can outperform passive strategies.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Are Better for You

Some investors think index funds are better. But they have limitations. Index funds cannot protect during market falls because they mirror the index.

Actively managed funds can change sectors or cash positions when markets turn risky. A professional fund manager can take timely calls, which helps reduce volatility.

For someone aiming early retirement, stability matters as much as growth. Active funds allow a Certified Financial Planner to adjust risk dynamically, whereas index funds lack this flexibility.

» Importance of Investing Through Regular Funds

Many believe direct mutual fund plans give higher returns. But that small difference comes at a bigger cost – lack of professional review.

Investing through regular plans with a Certified Financial Planner gives you ongoing monitoring, rebalancing, and strategy updates.

If you go direct, no one tracks performance, risk exposure, or suitability. For long-term goals like retirement, expert guidance adds far more value than the minor cost difference.

» Managing Risk Before Early Retirement

Retiring at 45 means your investments must sustain long after you stop working. Hence, capital protection becomes as important as growth.

Before retiring, shift 30–40% of your corpus into safer categories like hybrid or debt-oriented funds. This will reduce volatility when you start withdrawals.

At the same time, maintain at least three years of expenses in liquid or short-term instruments. This ensures you do not sell equity funds during a market fall.

» Planning for Inflation During Travel Years

You wish to travel across India after retirement. That is a wonderful goal. But travel costs rise faster than general inflation.

So, plan travel as a separate goal, not under basic living expenses. Maintain a distinct “Travel Fund” that continues to earn even during retirement.

You can keep it partly in balanced advantage or hybrid funds to grow safely.

» Insurance and Health Coverage

Being single does not mean skipping insurance. You must have strong health insurance to protect your savings.

Hospitalisation costs rise every year. Buy a comprehensive health cover of at least Rs 25–30 lakhs. Also, maintain personal accident insurance for peace of mind.

Without proper cover, one medical emergency can disturb your early retirement plan.

» Emergency Fund and Liquidity

Keep at least six to eight months of expenses in a liquid fund or bank account. This protects you from short-term shocks like job loss or large repair costs.

Your fixed deposits can be part of this emergency reserve.

» Tax Efficiency in Your Plan

Mutual funds are tax-efficient compared to fixed deposits. Under current rules:

Equity fund gains above Rs 1.25 lakh a year are taxed at 12.5% (LTCG).

Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

For debt funds, gains are taxed as per your income slab.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide you to withdraw or rebalance in the most tax-efficient manner before retirement.

» Withdrawal Strategy After 45

When you retire, you should not withdraw randomly. Create a systematic withdrawal plan.

Use equity mutual funds for growth and hybrid or debt funds for regular income. Withdraw only from safer categories in the early years and let equities grow longer.

This approach extends the life of your corpus.

Avoid traditional annuities since they give low returns and no flexibility. Mutual fund withdrawal plans are far more efficient and transparent.

» Planning for Future Cash Flow

Even after retiring, it is wise to have some small income sources. You can consider part-time consulting or remote work to reduce pressure on your corpus during the first few years.

It also keeps you mentally active and allows your investments to compound longer.

» Avoiding Common Mistakes

Many early retirees make a few common mistakes:

Overestimating post-retirement income and underestimating inflation.

Ignoring medical and travel inflation.

Investing too conservatively early or too aggressively near retirement.

A Certified Financial Planner can help maintain the right balance through annual review.

» Rebalancing Regularly

Review your asset allocation every year. If equity has grown too much, shift some profits into hybrid or debt funds.

This simple rebalancing keeps risk under control and locks your gains.

Avoid reacting to market noise. Stick to your plan through all cycles.

» When to Increase Your SIP

If you receive salary hikes or bonuses, increase your SIP gradually. Even a 5–10% rise each year can make a big difference.

Your lifestyle should grow slower than your income. The extra savings should directly go into your SIP.

With this, you can reach your target corpus faster and maybe even retire before 45.

» Building Emotional Readiness for Retirement

Financial freedom is not only about money. It is also about purpose.

Since you plan to travel India, start exploring now during holidays. This helps you visualise the lifestyle you want later.

This emotional clarity supports long-term financial discipline.

» Role of Certified Financial Planner

A Certified Financial Planner can help you in several ways –

Reviewing your mutual fund mix and returns annually.

Rebalancing asset allocation for each life stage.

Creating a step-by-step withdrawal and income plan post-retirement.

Ensuring all decisions align with your early retirement goal.

Professional oversight removes guesswork and improves long-term results.

» Finally

Your current savings show strong intent and clarity. You have already built a powerful base of Rs 1.5 crores.

With your income and discipline, your dream of retiring at 45 is realistic. You only need to –

Stay consistent with SIPs and raise them yearly.

Keep reviewing your funds with a Certified Financial Planner.

Gradually build safer assets as you near 45.

Avoid emotional investment decisions.

Maintain health insurance and emergency reserves.

With these actions, you can achieve both early retirement and freedom to explore India without financial stress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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