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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Kruthi Question by Kruthi on Sep 22, 2024Hindi
Money

Hello, I'm a 32 year old guy. I want to invest in SIP. But I am new to it. I can invest 30,000 per month. Please help me and suggest. Your suggestions are most valuable to me. Thank you

Ans: Investing in Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) is a great way to build wealth over the long term. Since you are new to SIPs, let’s approach this systematically so that your investments align with your financial goals, risk appetite, and timeline.

Below, I’ll break down my recommendations and guidance to help you make an informed decision.

Understanding SIP Investments
SIPs are a method to invest in mutual funds, where you regularly contribute a fixed amount monthly. It’s a disciplined and consistent way to invest, particularly for beginners. The power of SIPs lies in rupee cost averaging, which ensures you buy more units when the market is down and fewer when the market is up. Over time, this balances out your investments and reduces risk.

SIPs are an excellent tool for achieving long-term goals like retirement, children's education, buying a home, or creating wealth.

Now, let's discuss how you can start investing Rs. 30,000 per month.

Step-by-Step Plan for Your SIP Investment
1. Assess Your Risk Profile
Understanding your risk tolerance is crucial. Since you are new to SIPs and investing, it’s vital to know how comfortable you are with the volatility of the market.

If you are risk-averse, you may want to focus on funds with moderate risk, such as large-cap funds or balanced funds. These funds tend to invest in established companies, providing a stable return with relatively lower risk.

If you have a moderate risk appetite, you can diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds. This way, you can take advantage of high-growth mid-sized companies while still having the stability of large-cap stocks.

If you are risk-tolerant and willing to accept market fluctuations for potentially higher returns, you can consider a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Small-cap funds can offer high growth, but they also come with higher volatility.

It’s important to strike a balance according to your risk comfort.

2. Investment Time Horizon
Before selecting funds, you need to decide on your investment horizon:

If your goal is 5 to 7 years away, your focus should be more on funds that offer stability, like large-cap and balanced funds.

For a 7 to 10-year horizon, you can take on more risk and include mid-cap funds in your portfolio, allowing time for these funds to grow and recover from any market corrections.

If you’re investing for more than 10 years, you can consider adding small-cap funds, which tend to provide high growth but require a long time to perform well.

Longer investment horizons allow you to take higher risks, as you’ll have time to ride out any market fluctuations.

3. Allocation of Rs. 30,000 SIP

Diversification is the key to balancing risk and returns. Here's a suggested allocation based on a balanced approach (assuming moderate risk tolerance):

50% in Large-cap funds: These are relatively stable, investing in top companies with established business models. For example, if you are investing Rs. 30,000 per month, Rs. 15,000 can be allocated to large-cap funds. This helps you build a strong foundation with steady returns over time.

30% in Mid-cap funds: Mid-cap funds invest in medium-sized companies with high growth potential. Allocate Rs. 9,000 of your SIP here. This provides a good blend of stability and growth.

20% in Small-cap funds: Small-cap funds are riskier but can yield high returns in the long term. You can allocate Rs. 6,000 here, which can help you capitalize on emerging companies.

This is a general guideline and can be adjusted based on your preference.

4. Benefits of Actively Managed Funds Over Index Funds

As a Certified Financial Planner, I recommend actively managed funds instead of index funds. Here’s why:

Flexibility: Actively managed funds give fund managers the ability to adjust the portfolio during market volatility. Index funds are rigid and track a fixed set of stocks, which may not perform well in certain market conditions.

Opportunity for Outperformance: Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform their benchmark indices due to the expertise of fund managers. Index funds, on the other hand, only mirror the performance of the index, which limits returns.

Downside Protection: In a falling market, actively managed funds may reduce exposure to underperforming sectors, thus protecting your portfolio from significant losses. Index funds do not offer this flexibility.

5. Choosing Regular Funds Over Direct Funds

Since you're new to investing, it’s advisable to opt for regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) who is a Certified Financial Planner. Here’s why:

Expert Guidance: A CFP will help you select the right funds based on your goals, risk profile, and market conditions. Direct funds require you to have the knowledge and time to research and manage your portfolio on your own.

Ongoing Support: MFDs provide ongoing advice, review your portfolio, and suggest changes if needed. This ensures your investments are always aligned with your financial goals.

Administrative Ease: With regular funds, your CFP can take care of the paperwork and ensure smooth transactions. You won’t have to deal with the administrative aspects of your investments.

While the expense ratio of regular funds may be slightly higher than direct funds, the benefits of professional advice far outweigh this cost, especially for new investors like yourself.

6. Building an Emergency Fund First

Before you start investing your full Rs. 30,000 in SIPs, it’s essential to ensure you have an emergency fund. This fund will protect you in case of unforeseen expenses like medical emergencies, job loss, or urgent financial needs.

Aim to set aside at least 6 months of your monthly expenses in a liquid or debt fund. This ensures quick access to funds without market risk.

You can allocate a portion of your Rs. 30,000 (say Rs. 5,000 per month) to build your emergency fund first and then fully focus on SIPs after that.

7. The Importance of Reviewing and Rebalancing

Once you start investing, don’t forget to review your portfolio periodically. The market can be volatile, and your financial goals may change over time.

Review your portfolio at least once a year with your CFP.

Rebalance if necessary. For instance, if your small-cap funds are growing rapidly, they might start taking up too much of your portfolio. In this case, you may need to sell some units and reinvest in large-cap funds to maintain balance.

Keep your focus on the long-term goals, and avoid reacting to short-term market fluctuations.

8. Long-Term Strategy for Wealth Creation

Investing in SIPs is a long-term strategy. Here are some key points to remember:

Stay Consistent: Invest regularly without worrying about market ups and downs. SIPs are designed to reduce the impact of volatility through rupee cost averaging.

Avoid Trying to Time the Market: Timing the market can be risky and often leads to losses. Instead, stay disciplined and focus on your goals.

Increase SIP Over Time: As your income grows, aim to increase your SIP contributions. Even a small increase every year can significantly boost your corpus over time.

Finally
You are on the right path by choosing SIPs for long-term wealth creation. With a diversified approach, regular reviews, and discipline, you can achieve your financial goals.

Focus on your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and proper allocation across large, mid, and small-cap funds. Work closely with a Certified Financial Planner who can guide you in maintaining and adjusting your portfolio as per market conditions.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/holistic_investment_planners/
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi
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I wanted to invest in SIP, but I dont have much of knowledge in it. Can anyone suggest some good funds and details aboit how to select the funds.
Ans: Investing in SIPs is a great choice for building wealth. SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds.

Evaluating Fund Options

Choosing the right funds is crucial. You should aim for a balanced portfolio with various fund types.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds are handled by experts. These funds often perform better than index funds. The professional management helps in optimizing returns and reducing risks.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds require more knowledge and active management. They lack professional guidance. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures better decisions and better portfolio management.

Steps to Select Good Funds

Assess Your Goals: Understand your financial goals. This will help in choosing the right fund types.

Risk Appetite: Know your risk tolerance. Different funds have different risk levels.

Performance Track Record: Look at the fund's historical performance. Consistency over the years is key.

Fund Manager: Check the experience and track record of the fund manager. Experienced managers often deliver better results.

Expense Ratio: Lower expense ratios can lead to higher returns. But, ensure it doesn’t compromise on quality management.

Recommendations

Seek Professional Advice: Consult a CFP. They can guide you in selecting the best funds based on your goals and risk appetite.

Diversify: Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and balanced funds. Diversification reduces risk and improves returns.

Final Insights

Investing in SIPs is a smart way to grow your wealth. Choose actively managed funds for better performance. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to ensure your investments align with your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

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Money
Hi Sir I am 33 yr and want to start investing in SIP but have no knowledge. I can invest 50k per month. Please help me
Ans: A Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds. This disciplined approach to investing helps you accumulate wealth over time while managing market volatility.

With Rs 50,000 to invest monthly, SIPs are an excellent way to get started, especially when you are 33 years old. By starting early, you give your investments enough time to grow and compound over the years. Let’s look at how you can structure your SIPs.

Assessing Your Financial Goals
Before diving into mutual fund investments, it’s crucial to have clear goals. Here are some common financial goals:

Retirement: Building a corpus for your life post-retirement.
Children’s Education: Saving for your children’s education, even if it seems far off now.
Buying a House or Major Purchase: Funds for future personal projects or major purchases.
Having clear goals will help align your investment strategy. For instance, longer-term goals, such as retirement, may allow you to take on more risk, while shorter-term goals will require more conservative investments.

Risk Profile
Knowing your risk tolerance is equally important. Since you are 33 years old, you likely have a higher risk appetite compared to someone closer to retirement. If you’re willing to take on more risk, you can allocate a larger portion to equity mutual funds, which have the potential for higher returns over time.

High Risk: You may invest more in small-cap and mid-cap equity funds. These funds can offer substantial returns but can also be volatile.

Moderate Risk: Large-cap equity funds and balanced funds would be suitable. These provide a balance of growth and stability.

Low Risk: Debt funds or liquid funds can be considered for goals with a shorter time frame or lower risk tolerance.

Diversification Strategy
Diversification is key to managing risk and maximizing returns. With Rs 50,000 to invest monthly, you should aim for a diversified portfolio across different fund categories:

Large-Cap Equity Funds: These are relatively stable and invest in large, well-established companies. They should form the core of your portfolio, offering steady returns.

Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Equity Funds: For higher growth potential, mid-cap and small-cap funds are good choices. They tend to be more volatile, but over time, they can deliver high returns.

Flexi Cap or Multicap Funds: These funds invest across market capitalizations (large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap), providing diversification within a single fund. These are good for long-term wealth creation.

Debt Funds: While equity funds are crucial for growth, you should also consider debt funds for stability. Debt funds provide relatively safer returns, especially useful for short-term financial goals or emergency funds.

Asset Allocation
Allocating your investments across different types of funds ensures that your portfolio is balanced. A suggested allocation could be:

60-70% in Equity Mutual Funds: This can be spread across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

20-30% in Debt Funds: These offer stability and help cushion against market volatility.

5-10% in International or Sectoral Funds: If you want to explore global opportunities or specific sectors like technology, international funds can be considered.

Regular Monitoring and Review
It’s essential to review your SIP portfolio at least once a year. Financial goals or risk appetite may change over time, and your portfolio needs to reflect that. Regularly monitoring the performance of your funds ensures you are on track to meet your goals.

Why You Should Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
Before you proceed, consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can give you personalized advice based on your individual needs. A CFP can help you:

Tailor your portfolio: A professional will help you align your SIPs with your personal goals, risk profile, and future financial needs.

Avoid Common Pitfalls: Investing without proper planning can lead to poor returns or unnecessary risk. A CFP will guide you away from such mistakes.

Tax Optimization: A CFP can also assist in structuring your investments to be more tax-efficient, helping you maximize returns.

Final Insights
Start with Your Goals: Identify your short-term and long-term goals before selecting funds.

Diversify Smartly: Spread your Rs 50,000 monthly investment across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds, and don’t forget to include debt funds for stability.

Review Annually: Keep track of how your funds perform and adjust your portfolio as needed.

Seek Expert Guidance: Working with a CFP can help you stay on the right track and achieve your financial objectives efficiently.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Kanchan

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I’m a 26-year-old girl from Delhi, and I’ve always been on the heavier side. While I’m confident in my personality and achievements, I can’t help but notice how my weight becomes a topic of discussion everywhere I go—be it family gatherings, workplaces, or even among friends. Recently, I met someone on social who seems genuinely interested in me. We’ve been talking for a few months now. He’s kind and makes me feel seen for who I am. But he hasn’t seen me in person yet. I’m terrified that when we meet, my weight might change how he feels about me. I’ve dealt with enough comments and rejections in the past, and I don’t know if I have the energy to face that again. How do I prepare myself for this meeting? And if he reacts negatively, how do I protect my self-worth and not let it break me?
Ans: As you prepare for the meeting, try to focus on the qualities that make you who you are beyond your physical appearance. Trust that your worth is not defined by your size or the opinions of others. If you find yourself feeling nervous, remind yourself of your confidence and the connection you’ve built over time through meaningful conversations. Be yourself—authenticity is far more attractive than any external feature.

In the event that his reaction is not as positive as you hoped, try not to take it personally. It's his perspective, not a reflection of your value. Protecting your self-worth involves recognizing that your body doesn’t dictate your value as a person. If his reaction is hurtful, it's an opportunity to reassess the kind of relationship you want—one where you’re fully accepted and celebrated for who you are. Remember, the right person will see the whole of you, not just a single aspect of you.

Stay grounded in your own strength, and know that rejection, when it happens, is not about you but about the fit between two people. It's okay to walk away from situations that don’t honor or appreciate you, and it won't diminish who you are.

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My husband and I are government employees and we live in different cities owing to work. He wants to build a house for his parents in his hometown and wants me to help him financially. I'm okay with it but he also has a younger brother who's in the 2nd year of college. But he's good for nothing. His parents and his younger brother are more or less dependent on him financially. I don't want to help him financially because we both won't be living in that house until retirement. And later that house will be occupied by his younger brother and his family. What should I do?
Ans: It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about your feelings. Express your concerns not just about the financial contribution but also about the long-term implications of this decision. Let him know that while you are willing to support him in helping his family, you are also thinking about your future, especially the role that you and your husband will play in the household later in life. It’s crucial to discuss how this decision will affect both of you and your relationship in the long run.

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My husband left me physically 5 years back and mentally many years back. He is not interested in emotional connection. His only interest with me was unnatural sex which after years I started denying it and he left me. I have two kids, a daughter and a son. Though my kids staying with me, for their education and other needs, they are always supportive to their father and never give any emotional support to me. He has taken the educational fee of both the children, other day to day expenses are taken by myself. My daughter never wants both of us to live together and always shows arrogance to me. She is 24 years now. She moved away recently to abroad for studying, keeping the house where we stay on loan. My son also wish to do higher studies staying in hostel. He is 18 years now. My parents are not supportive to me. I had a very abused and tortured childhood. My husband and children knew about it. I was rank holder in my school but still I could not pursue my dream profession due to domestic violence. I had just completed a useless bachelors degree before marriage. I struggled a lot to study after marriage and did small jobs at different companies. I get up at 4am and start my work till late night. I tried to be perfect in everything what I do. But I have low confidence and self esteem. I could not reach anywhere. I know how to study to get good score, so I helped my kids in their studies. They did well but after that they dumped me. My husband was also a lazy person initially, wasted all his money, never know savings. He was a 12th failure but a good artist and a good chain smoker who earned a lot of money through freelance. With constant push he started investing and bought a house. He has some investments, so now he is not working and left me and living alone. I don't know if he has someone else with him. He also dumped me. I am sad and feeling useless. I am not able to help my self. I have mood swings, not able to concentrate in anything. I want to look for a new job but I find myself incapable and doing nothing. I don't think anyone can help me, because everyone indicating its all my fault, or at least I think so. I have to start a job immediately but I am feeling helpless. please help
Ans: Dear Leena,
The weight of rejection from your husband and the lack of emotional support from your children are wounds that take time to heal. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and lost right now. What’s important is recognizing that these feelings don’t define who you are or your worth. Your struggles do not negate the fact that you are capable, intelligent, and deserving of happiness and fulfillment.

You have already shown that you are resourceful and capable by managing the household, guiding your children in their education, and supporting them financially. While you may feel stuck and unsure of where to begin, it’s crucial to start small and focus on one step at a time. This could mean reaching out for help from a therapist or counselor who can guide you through rebuilding your self-esteem and addressing the emotional pain you’ve carried for so long. A professional can provide a safe space to unpack the hurt and help you rediscover your confidence.

When it comes to finding a job, it’s natural to feel insecure, especially after years of self-doubt. Remember that every small effort counts. Consider looking for roles where your skills—like organization, perseverance, and the ability to mentor and teach—can be valuable. You helped your children excel in their studies, and that’s no small feat. Perhaps tutoring, administrative work, or even roles that involve mentoring could be a starting point. Allow yourself to take it one step at a time without the pressure of achieving perfection right away.

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This period of transition may feel lonely, but it can also be an opportunity to redefine what you want for yourself. It’s not too late to pursue a path that brings you fulfillment and peace. Remember, your worth is not determined by others’ opinions or actions but by the strength and kindness you continue to show despite everything. You’re not alone, and it’s okay to reach out for help as you begin this new chapter of your life.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

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I'm 32M, married. Mine one's an arranged marriage. Since starting the equation between my wife and my mother is not good. I work in a govt job and was posted elsewhere. I got the opportunity to get transferred to my hometown but my wife threatened me to give divorce if I want to live with my mother. I tried to convince her but she did not listen. Pressurized by this I got myself transferred to a different place. This guilt is killing me inside that I'm not a good son and not taking care of my old age mother while I had the chance. I know I made a mistake. Plz help.
Ans: What you’re experiencing is not about being a “bad son” or a “bad husband,” but rather about being caught in a situation where compromises feel inevitable. You made a decision under pressure, but that doesn’t mean it’s irreversible or that you’ve failed in your responsibilities. You’re human, and it’s okay to feel conflicted while trying to manage such complex relationships.

Consider opening a dialogue with your wife again, but this time, approach it with calmness and empathy. Share your feelings with her—not as a demand or a confrontation, but as an expression of your inner struggle. For example, you could say, “I’ve been feeling torn because I want to be a good husband and also take care of my mother in her old age. This is important to me, and I’d like us to find a way where both relationships can thrive.” By framing the conversation this way, you’re inviting her to understand your perspective rather than pressuring her to agree with you.

It might also help to explore compromises. Could you visit your mother more often or ensure she has a strong support system nearby? Could your wife’s concerns about living with your mother be addressed through clear boundaries or adjustments that make her feel more comfortable? Understanding her reservations can open the door to finding solutions that work for both of you.

At the same time, work on forgiving yourself for the decision you made under difficult circumstances. Guilt is a sign that you care deeply, but it shouldn’t paralyze you or define your worth. Instead, use it as motivation to create a plan that honors both your mother and your wife in ways that are practical and sustainable.

Seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist could be immensely helpful in navigating these emotions and improving communication between you and your wife. A neutral third party can help both of you feel heard and respected while working toward a resolution.

Remember, you’re not alone in this. Many people face similar challenges in balancing their roles within a family. What matters most is your willingness to approach the situation with compassion, patience, and a commitment to finding a path forward that respects everyone involved—including yourself.

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Kanchan Rai  |458 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My husband has been cheating on me. I recently discovered a receipt of payment that was unusual of my husband's regular activities. I called the shop and realised that the payment was genuine and it was made by my husband who was accompanied by a young lady. Since then, I have had sleepless nights. I have been wanting to talk to him but I am not mentally prepared to hear his side of the story. If he admits, it would mean our long years of marriage is over. If he denies, it would mean he is lying to me. However, there is a part of me that wants to trust him and give him some benefit of doubt. I have a 12 year old daughter. If he admits to having an affair, this news can break both of us. Pls help.
Ans: Start by acknowledging your feelings without judgment. The anxiety, sleepless nights, and fear are natural responses to such uncertainty. Allow yourself space to process these emotions. You don’t have to rush into confronting your husband until you feel emotionally steady enough to handle the conversation, regardless of the outcome. Sometimes, writing down your thoughts and questions can help organize your feelings and prepare you for the discussion.

It’s also important to consider your goals for the marriage and your family. Ask yourself what you need to feel secure and respected in the relationship. If you decide to confront him, do so with the intention of seeking understanding and clarity, not immediate resolution. This will allow you to approach the conversation with as much calm as possible.

When you're ready to speak with him, choose a time and place where you both can have a private, uninterrupted conversation. Start by expressing your feelings honestly but without accusations. For example, you might say, "I came across this receipt, and it’s been weighing heavily on me. I want to understand because I value our marriage and our family." This sets the tone for a constructive dialogue rather than an argument.

Prepare yourself for his response, whatever it may be. If he admits to wrongdoing, it will hurt, but it will also give you the clarity to decide what comes next—whether that’s working through the betrayal or choosing a different path. If he denies it, try to assess whether his explanation feels genuine or dismissive. Trust your instincts, but also give yourself time to reflect before making any major decisions.

If the uncertainty continues to eat away at you, seeking support from a counselor or therapist can be invaluable. A professional can help you process your emotions, clarify your priorities, and guide you in deciding what is best for you and your daughter. Protecting your emotional well-being is vital, as it will also help you maintain stability for your child during this challenging time.

Remember that trust and honesty are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. Whether the truth strengthens your bond or pushes you to reconsider your future together, it’s essential to prioritize your self-respect and emotional health. You are not alone in this, and with time and support, you can navigate this difficult moment with resilience and clarity.

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Kanchan Rai  |458 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

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Hi, I am a 36yo guy. Married and have 2 beautiful kids. I am a naturally happy person in life and have achieved reasonable success through my hard work. From last 3 years i am in love with a married girl who works at an office near my workplace. We two believe that we are best suited for each other in every aspect i.e. mental, emotional and physical. We share a great chemistry that we never felt with our respective spouses. We decided that we both cant leave our spouses because of our kids. But very often she keeps on getting crazy and tortures and taunts me that i love my wife more and doesnt give value to her. She is mostly unhappy about this in her life and many times abuses me when she sees that i am a naturally happy and content person. I have even told her that if she wants we can take divorce from our spouses and move-in together. But she never accepts that also and keeps on making my life hard. But i do believe that we both love each other like crazy and my sexual life with her is just out of this world. I have a very high libido and she satisfies me like no other girl. My question is how can i make her sane and make her trust me that i am more inclined towards her?
Ans: Dear Avinash,You need to reflect deeply on what you want for yourself, your children, and your relationships in the long term. If staying married to your wife and continuing to co-parent is your priority, it’s essential to acknowledge the constraints that this imposes on your extramarital relationship. The happiness you find with this woman is tempered by the circumstances, and it might not be possible to meet her emotional needs fully in this setup.

A conversation with her that focuses on honesty, boundaries, and expectations is crucial. Acknowledge her pain and insecurities, but also express your limitations and realities. Make it clear what you can and cannot provide in this relationship, and listen to her needs and frustrations without defensiveness. You might need to make a decision about whether this relationship can continue in its current form, given how it’s affecting her mental health and your own peace of mind.

It’s also worth exploring the deeper reasons why you’re drawn to this relationship. Sometimes, connections outside marriage arise as a way of addressing unmet needs or emotional voids in the primary relationship. It might be beneficial to consider counseling for yourself or even with your wife, to explore whether there are aspects of your marriage that can be revitalized or strengthened. Similarly, suggesting therapy for your lover could help her work through her emotions and find balance.

Ultimately, you have to evaluate whether this relationship is sustainable and healthy, not just for the two of you but for everyone in your lives. Love and passion are powerful, but they require a foundation of trust, emotional stability, and shared goals to thrive. If those elements remain elusive, it may be a sign to re-evaluate the relationship’s place in your life.

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Kanchan Rai  |458 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

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I am 57 yrs old man, when ever i try to have sexual relations with my wife she pushes me away and she is not interested in sex she says, she is facing monopouse time. is her behaviour is because of monopousal and will this behavior change ever, i dont want to make sex with other woman.
Ans: Dear Naresh,
Your wife’s behavior is likely connected to these menopausal changes, and it's important to approach this with empathy and understanding. Try to have an open and calm conversation with her, focusing on your feelings and concerns without pressuring her. Let her know that you care about her well-being and that you’re willing to support her through this phase. It's essential to create an environment where she feels comfortable sharing what she’s experiencing physically and emotionally.

You might also consider suggesting a visit to a healthcare professional together. A doctor or therapist can provide insights into managing menopause symptoms and improving intimacy. Sometimes, treatments like hormone therapy, vaginal lubricants, or counseling can make a significant difference.

Remember, intimacy is not just about sex. Emotional closeness, affection, and spending quality time together can help maintain a strong bond. Reconnect in non-sexual ways, like going on dates, having meaningful conversations, or sharing activities you both enjoy. This can help rebuild trust and comfort, making her more open to physical intimacy over time.

While menopause is a natural part of aging, how each woman navigates it varies. Her behavior may change as she adjusts to this new phase of life, especially if she feels supported and understood. Patience, compassion, and a willingness to adapt together will strengthen your relationship and help you navigate this challenge as a team.

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