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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Archan Question by Archan on Jan 28, 2024Hindi
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Hallo Sir, I'm Railway employee, aged 33 yrs, married and glad to have 8 months baby boy. My gross income Rs. 8,00,000/- Per annum... I have House building lone of Rs. 31,000/- pm. After all expenditure of per month. Deduction of NPS fund are there per month as the guide line of govt. Except the NPS deduction I have PPF account where I'm Investing of Rs. 1,500/-pm. Now I am determined to invest of Rs. 17,000/- pm per month to secure the future of my son and I have a long term goal minimum of 10 years. May please advise me where I shoud invest the Rs. 17,000/- pm. Let me also know how to invest the aforesaid amount in different ways to earn maximum profit. Thanking you in anticipation.

Ans: Congratulations on the newest addition to your family! It's heartwarming to see your dedication to securing your son's future. With a clear goal of investing Rs. 17,000 per month for the next 10 years, you're taking a significant step towards long-term financial stability.

Considering your circumstances, it's wise to explore a diversified investment approach tailored to your risk tolerance and financial goals. This might include a mix of equity mutual funds, debt instruments, and possibly even some exposure to balanced or hybrid funds.

By diversifying your investments, you spread risk and maximize potential returns over the long term. Remember, investing is a journey, and it's crucial to stay focused on your goals while navigating market fluctuations.

Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance aligned with your aspirations. Together, you can craft a robust investment strategy that caters to your son's future needs and ensures financial security for your growing family.

Your commitment to securing your son's future is truly commendable, and with strategic planning and prudent investment choices, you're laying a solid foundation for his bright tomorrow.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2024Hindi
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I am a 38 year old working woman with a toddler and aged mom to look after. Current income is around 15lac per annum and m living in metro city. Currently I have around 10lac as savings. I want to invest the same for the future of my kid and myself.I have started SSY child, PPF and NPS too. plz suggest good way of investing the above said amount.
Ans: Given your current situation and financial goals, here's a suggested approach to investing your savings:

Emergency Fund: Ensure you have a sufficient emergency fund equivalent to at least 6-12 months of your expenses. This fund should be easily accessible in case of unexpected expenses or emergencies.

Child's Future: Continue contributing to the Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY) for your child's future education and other needs. Additionally, consider investing in other child-specific investment options like education savings plans or mutual funds.

Retirement Planning: Continue contributing to the Public Provident Fund (PPF) and National Pension System (NPS) for your retirement. Both provide tax benefits and long-term savings opportunities. Ensure you are allocating appropriate amounts to these accounts based on your retirement goals and risk tolerance.

Wealth Creation: With the remaining savings, consider investing in a diversified portfolio of mutual funds. Allocate funds across various categories like large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and balanced funds based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio as needed to stay aligned with your financial goals.

Insurance: Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance coverage for yourself and your family members to provide financial security in case of unforeseen circumstances.

Estate Planning: Consider consulting with a financial advisor or estate planner to create a comprehensive estate plan that addresses your specific needs and ensures the smooth transfer of assets to your beneficiaries.

Remember to regularly review your financial plan and make adjustments as needed based on changes in your life circumstances, financial goals, and market conditions. It's also advisable to seek professional financial advice to optimize your investment strategy and achieve your long-term financial objectives.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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Hi sir, I am 30 and currently doing a sip of 5k in ppfas and 5k in quant infrastructure fund. I have home loan of 65 Lakhs as well at 8.75%. I am planning to invest another 10k per month. Could you kindly suggest where I can invest for my son (3 years) higher education and for retirement. Can investing in nps beat mutual funds?
Ans: It's commendable that you're prioritizing financial planning at such a young age. Let's delve into your investment options:

• Firstly, I appreciate your disciplined approach to investing through SIPs, which is a smart way to build wealth over time.
• It's great that you're thinking ahead about your son's future education and your retirement needs.

• Considering your current investments, we can explore additional mutual fund options to diversify your portfolio.
• Diversification helps spread risk and optimize returns, essential for achieving long-term financial goals.

• When it comes to investing for your son's education and your retirement, it's crucial to align your investments with your time horizon and risk tolerance.
• For long-term goals like these, equity mutual funds offer the potential for higher returns, albeit with higher volatility.

• Regarding your query about the National Pension System (NPS) versus mutual funds, both have their pros and cons.
• NPS offers tax benefits and a structured retirement savings platform, but it comes with restrictions on withdrawals and limited investment choices.

• On the other hand, mutual funds provide greater flexibility in investment choices and withdrawal options.
• However, they lack the tax benefits of NPS.

• Ultimately, the decision between NPS and mutual funds depends on your individual preferences, risk appetite, and financial goals.
• It's essential to weigh the pros and cons of each option and choose the one that best aligns with your needs.

• As a Certified Financial Planner, I can help you analyze your financial situation and goals to create a customized investment plan.
• Together, we'll select suitable mutual funds that balance growth potential and risk for your son's education and retirement.

• Remember, investing is a journey, and it's essential to stay disciplined and focused on your long-term objectives.
• With careful planning and prudent decision-making, you can build a secure financial future for yourself and your family.

• Keep up the excellent work with your investments, and don't hesitate to reach out if you have any further questions or need assistance.
• You're on the right track towards achieving your financial aspirations, and I'm here to support you every step of the way.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 39 years old IT employee , I have monthly income of 3.5 lakhs and have a 10 years old son and wife .I have 35 lakhs in PF and 8 lakhs in ppf ,All I invested is in real estate and no other investments also i have 48 lakhs lakh an remaining for a house ,Where should I invest of I need to lan retirement by 50 will need 1.5 lakhs income per month post that
Ans: Retiring by age 50 with a steady monthly income of Rs. 1.5 lakhs is a significant goal. Given your current assets, it's crucial to strategically plan your investments to achieve this target. You have a strong base, and with careful planning, you can reach your retirement goals.

Assessing Current Financial Situation
You have a solid monthly income of Rs. 3.5 lakhs. This is a good start.

You have Rs. 35 lakhs in your Provident Fund (PF) and Rs. 8 lakhs in your Public Provident Fund (PPF). These are excellent long-term savings.

You have invested Rs. 48 lakhs in real estate. However, real estate alone may not be enough for retirement. Diversifying your portfolio is crucial.

Understanding the Importance of Diversification
Diversification is key to minimizing risk and maximizing returns. Currently, your investments are concentrated in real estate. You should consider diversifying into different asset classes.

Building a Balanced Investment Portfolio
1. Equity Mutual Funds:

Equity mutual funds can provide high returns over the long term. They are suitable for your retirement goal, which is more than a decade away.

Consider allocating a portion of your funds to diversified equity mutual funds. These funds invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks, providing a balanced exposure to the equity market.

2. Debt Mutual Funds:

Debt mutual funds are less risky compared to equity funds. They provide stable returns and can be used to balance the risk in your portfolio.

Investing in debt funds will ensure that a portion of your investments remains safe, while still earning moderate returns.

3. Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Your current PPF investment is Rs. 8 lakhs. Continue contributing to PPF as it offers tax benefits and guaranteed returns. It’s a safe investment for long-term financial goals.

4. Provident Fund (PF):

With Rs. 35 lakhs in PF, you already have a significant amount saved. Ensure you continue contributing to this fund, as it provides a reliable source of retirement income.

Exploring the Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, run by experienced fund managers, can potentially outperform the market. These funds require active monitoring and adjustment, which can lead to better returns compared to passive index funds.

Disadvantages of Index Funds:

Index funds follow the market index, and they do not aim to outperform it. This means during market downturns, index funds will also suffer. They lack the flexibility to adjust holdings based on market conditions.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds:

Actively managed funds have the potential to generate higher returns. Fund managers can make strategic decisions based on market trends and economic conditions. They can also provide a more tailored investment approach.

Considering the Role of Certified Financial Planners
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can offer several advantages. They provide personalized advice and help create a financial plan tailored to your goals.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds:

Investing directly without professional guidance can be risky. You might miss out on strategic opportunities and fail to manage risk effectively. A CFP can help optimize your investment strategy.

Benefits of Regular Funds through CFP:

Investing through regular funds with the help of a CFP ensures you receive expert advice. They can help you navigate market complexities and make informed decisions. This professional guidance can lead to better financial outcomes.

Creating a Retirement Corpus
To achieve your retirement goal of Rs. 1.5 lakhs monthly income post-retirement, you need to build a substantial corpus. Given your current assets and income, a disciplined investment approach is essential.

1. Setting Clear Goals:

Define how much you need at retirement. This will help you understand how much to save and invest each month.

2. Regular Investments:

Invest regularly in mutual funds through Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs). SIPs help in averaging out market volatility and build a corpus over time.

3. Reviewing and Rebalancing:

Regularly review your investment portfolio. Rebalance it to ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance. This involves shifting funds between asset classes based on market performance and your investment horizon.

Importance of Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund to cover unforeseen expenses. This fund should cover at least six months' worth of expenses. It ensures you don't have to dip into your long-term investments in case of emergencies.

Managing Insurance Needs
Ensure you have adequate insurance coverage. Life insurance protects your family in case of any unfortunate event. Health insurance covers medical expenses, preventing financial strain.

Planning for Your Child's Future
Your 10-year-old son's education and future needs should also be planned for. Consider investing in child-specific mutual funds or creating a dedicated investment plan for his higher education and other needs.

Evaluating Current Investments
Real Estate:

While real estate can provide good returns, it's not very liquid. Consider the rental income potential and capital appreciation of your property.

Provident Fund (PF) and Public Provident Fund (PPF):

These are secure investments with tax benefits. Continue contributing to these funds for long-term stability.

Achieving Financial Independence
To achieve financial independence by 50, you need a comprehensive financial plan. This involves:

1. Increasing Savings:

Try to save and invest a significant portion of your income. Aim to save at least 30-40% of your monthly income.

2. Reducing Debt:

Avoid taking on new debt. Pay off any existing loans to reduce financial burden.

3. Enhancing Income:

Explore ways to increase your income. This could be through promotions, bonuses, or side gigs.

Final Insights
Reaching your retirement goal by 50 is achievable with disciplined planning and strategic investments. Diversify your portfolio, invest in equity and debt mutual funds, and continue contributing to PF and PPF. Seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to optimize your investments and ensure a secure financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
Money
Im 33 yers old earning 1.9L per month I have 5L in MF 3.5L in PPF 2L in NPS n 4L in stock market making a sip of 20k in MF ,PPF10k, NPS 5k ,gold 12k every month and having a home loan of 60L paying EMI currently 60K. Please help me are my investment planning is good where I should investment my goal to achieve good corpus for my daughter education and marriage now she is 5 months old.
Ans: First, congratulations on being proactive about your financial planning at a young age. At 33, you have a stable income of Rs. 1.9 lakhs per month and a diversified portfolio. Your investments include Rs. 5 lakhs in mutual funds, Rs. 3.5 lakhs in PPF, Rs. 2 lakhs in NPS, and Rs. 4 lakhs in the stock market. You are also making a SIP of Rs. 20,000 in mutual funds, Rs. 10,000 in PPF, Rs. 5,000 in NPS, and Rs. 12,000 in gold every month. Additionally, you have a home loan of Rs. 60 lakhs with an EMI of Rs. 60,000.

Evaluating Your Investment Strategy
Your investment strategy shows a balanced approach with exposure to various asset classes. However, let's analyze and optimize your investments to ensure you achieve your goals for your daughter's education and marriage.

Diversifying Your Portfolio
Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are a great way to grow your wealth. You have Rs. 5 lakhs invested in mutual funds and are contributing Rs. 20,000 monthly through SIPs. Ensure you are investing in a mix of equity and debt funds to balance risk and returns. Equity funds can provide high growth over the long term, while debt funds offer stability.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a safe investment with tax benefits and guaranteed returns. Your Rs. 3.5 lakhs investment in PPF is good for long-term goals due to its 15-year lock-in period. Your monthly contribution of Rs. 10,000 is also beneficial.

National Pension System (NPS)
NPS is a good option for retirement planning with tax benefits. Your Rs. 2 lakhs investment in NPS and Rs. 5,000 monthly contribution are helping you build a retirement corpus.

Stock Market
Direct stock investments can provide high returns but come with higher risk. Your Rs. 4 lakhs investment in the stock market adds an aggressive growth component to your portfolio. Regularly review and manage your stock investments to mitigate risks.

Gold
Gold is a good hedge against inflation and market volatility. Your monthly investment of Rs. 12,000 in gold is a prudent strategy for diversification.

Managing Your Home Loan
Your Rs. 60 lakhs home loan with an EMI of Rs. 60,000 is a significant commitment. Ensure you maintain an emergency fund to cover at least 6-12 months of EMIs to safeguard against financial uncertainties.

Optimizing Your Investments for Your Goals
Goal 1: Daughter’s Education
Assuming your daughter will need funds for higher education in 18 years, you should focus on long-term growth investments.

Increase SIP in Equity Mutual Funds: Equity mutual funds can offer high returns over the long term. Consider increasing your SIP contributions in equity funds to build a substantial corpus for her education.

Child Education Plan: Consider investing in child-specific mutual fund schemes designed to meet education expenses. These funds often come with a lock-in period, ensuring the money is saved for the intended purpose.

Goal 2: Daughter’s Marriage
Assuming your daughter’s marriage in 25-30 years, you need to plan for a significant corpus.

Balanced Mutual Funds: Invest in balanced or hybrid mutual funds which provide a mix of equity and debt exposure. They offer growth with stability and are suitable for long-term goals.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Continue with your SIPs in mutual funds and consider increasing the amount gradually as your income grows. This disciplined approach will help in accumulating the required funds.

Advantages of Mutual Funds
Professional Management

Mutual funds are managed by professional fund managers who have the expertise to make investment decisions.

Diversification

Mutual funds invest in a diverse range of securities, which helps spread risk and reduce volatility.

Liquidity

Mutual funds offer high liquidity, allowing you to redeem units as per your financial needs.

Tax Efficiency

Certain mutual funds provide tax benefits under Section 80C, which can help in tax planning.

Power of Compounding

The returns from mutual funds, when reinvested, can grow exponentially over time, helping in wealth accumulation.

Disadvantages of Real Estate as an Investment
Illiquidity

Real estate investments are not easily converted to cash, making them less liquid than other investments.

Entry and Exit Costs

Buying and selling real estate involves significant costs, including stamp duty, registration fees, and brokerage.

No Partial Withdrawals

Unlike mutual funds, you cannot partially withdraw from a real estate investment. It is an all-or-nothing situation.

White Transactions

Real estate transactions often involve a mix of white and black money, complicating the process and reducing transparency.

Risk Management
Diversification

Diversify your investments across various asset classes to reduce risk. Avoid concentrating too much in one area.

Regular Review

Periodically review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals. Adjust your investments based on performance and market conditions.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund to cover at least 6-12 months of expenses. This fund should be easily accessible and invested in safe, liquid instruments.

Insurance

Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance to protect your family against unforeseen events.

Power of Compounding
The power of compounding is a key factor in growing your wealth. By reinvesting the returns from your investments, you earn returns on both the initial principal and the accumulated returns. This exponential growth can significantly enhance your corpus over time.

Seeking Professional Guidance
While you have a solid understanding of investments, consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide you with personalized advice and strategies. A CFP can help you navigate complex financial decisions and ensure your investments are aligned with your goals.

Final Insights
You have made commendable progress in your financial journey at 33 years old. Your diversified investments and disciplined approach are commendable. Here’s a summary of the key steps to enhance your financial plan:

Increase SIPs in Equity Mutual Funds: Boost your contributions to equity mutual funds to build a substantial corpus for your daughter's education and marriage.
Maintain Diversification: Continue diversifying across mutual funds, PPF, NPS, gold, and stocks to balance risk and returns.
Review and Adjust: Regularly review your portfolio and make adjustments as needed to stay on track with your goals.
Consult a CFP: Seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to refine your investment strategy and achieve your financial objectives.
Your commitment to financial planning and investing for your daughter's future is admirable. With a well-structured plan and disciplined execution, you can achieve your goals and secure a bright future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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Relationship
I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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