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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10874 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 21, 2025Hindi
Money

I had given some 14.1 lakhs to one of my close relative of my wife (brother), for his settling of EMI (home loan, car loan & personal loan) during his layoff from work for about 6 months and also prior to that, when he initially had started purchasing the house, helping him with the pre-loan amount, dating back to three years. He is not returning the amount. This is causing distress to me mentally and is ruining my relationship with my wife. How to deal with and handle such financial matters among relations? Also advice me whether this is normal - to help someone in their times of need and they not returning the favour, even after repeated attempts. And how to deal with it?

Ans: Handling family financial matters needs care, clarity, and compassion. You have done a lot to support your brother-in-law. That shows your generosity. Now it’s affecting your peace and marriage. Let’s explore how to deal with this smartly, from all angles.

Understanding the Emotional Strain
Helping family feels right and heartwarming

But non-repayment leads to distrust and stress

This impacts mental peace and sleep quality

Also affects your relationship with your wife

Money mix with emotions can harm bonds

You may feel regret or resentment now

Recognising this stress is the first step

Accept your feelings as valid and real

Identifying Core Issues
Lack of formal agreement creates confusion

Absence of timeline lets things drag on

No repayment plan means money stays stuck

That can make resentment grow silently

Your wife may feel frustrated on your behalf

Her brother may be under financial pressure

Cultural norms may discourage written agreements

But written plans avoid misunderstandings

Reality is, relationships get tested around money

Establishing a Clear Repayment Dialogue
You need a calm, honest discussion with him.

Choose a good time when his mood is calm

Mention you value him and the family bond

Express how the situation affects your spouse

Use “I feel” statements to avoid blaming

Ask him about his financial plan to repay

Invite him to propose a repayment schedule

Keep tone respectful and collaborative

Suggest monthly instalments or lumpsum plan

Offer flexibility if genuine hardship exists

Document any agreed plan in writing

You are asking him kindly, not confronting angrily.

Building Accountability and Transparency
Once a plan is set, follow through.

Ask for a simple email or message agreement

Agree on monthly instalment dates and amounts

Put reminders on your phone or calendar

Each payment should be recorded by both

If payment misses, reach out respectfully

If delay continues, set a fresh conversation

Document everything to avoid confusion

This transparency supports trust and fairness.

Involving Your Wife Constructively
Your partner must feel included.

Share the plan with her calmly

Let her voice her concerns openly

Make joint decisions on follow-up actions

Avoid blaming or emotional pressure

Reassure her that you value trust

Work as a team in resolving this issue

Strong partnerships reduce financial stress

Seeking Mediation If Dialogue Fails
If repeated attempts fail, mediation may help.

Involve a respected family elder or neutral cousin

Ask them to facilitate a calm repayment talk

They can help him feel safe and respected

They can hold him accountable to your plan

Keep the discussion private and respectful

Avoid involving too many people at once

Mediation can restore balance without conflict

Learning for Future Family Lending
Let this be a learning opportunity.

Always have a written agreement if lending large amounts

Avoid mixing large funds without documentation

Treat it like a loan, even within family

Include repayment timeline and approach

Consider small interest, as formal contracts do

Avoid burdening emotions with money matters

Share your learnings openly with family

These simple practices save future stress and broken trust.

Dealing with Your Own Emotions
Take care of your mental and emotional health.

Take time out each day to unwind

Don’t blame yourself harshly

Speak to a friend or counselor if needed

Journaling your feelings can bring clarity

Focus on stress-free relationships

Financial peace needs emotional self-care

Looking after yourself strengthens your marriage.

Setting Boundaries Without Alienation
Boundaries are healthy and necessary.

Explain your limits kindly, not harshly

Be clear on what you can and cannot do now

Say “I cannot lend more until repayment starts”

Offer non-monetary support if genuine

This shows love with limits, not rejection

Boundaries preserve respect and reduce misuse

When Repayment Doesn’t Happen
Nobody can force anyone to pay back.

You can’t break the law if no document exists

Avoid hurting relationships over money

Decide a threshold where you stop trying

Accept that some money may be unrecoverable

Let forgiveness begin, even while you move on

Avoid gossiping or tarnishing reputations

This brings peace even if money is lost

Strengthening Your Financial Future
Use this experience to build resilience in money habits.

Treat family lending as a serious decision

Draw up agreements even for small amounts

Keep a family loan register or log

Use formal channels for repayments

Learn to say “no” with kindness

Practice ‘giving with boundaries’ always

Prioritize your peace over heroism

Finally
You acted from a place of love and support.
But money should not break your peace or marriage.
Set clear repayment plan with dignity and care.
Involve your wife in the process openly.
Use written reminders and gentle follow-up.
Consider mediation if needed.
Accept the loss if repayment fails but protect your bond.
Apply the lessons learnt for future family support.
Your relationship and mental well?being matter most.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ans: It's understandable that you are facing a difficult situation and feeling torn between helping your younger sister's husband and respecting your wife's opinion. Here are some suggestions that might help you sort this out:

Consider the impact on your own financial future: It's important to consider your own financial situation and retirement plans before deciding to help your sister's husband. You should also consider the impact of selling your property to help someone else, and whether that could affect your own financial stability.

Communicate with your wife: Have an open and honest conversation with your wife about your desire to help your sister's husband and understand her concerns. Try to find a compromise that works for both of you.

Set clear boundaries: It's important to set clear boundaries with your siblings about what kind of financial assistance you are willing and able to provide. You should also be clear about what kind of support you expect from them in return.

Explore other options: Consider whether there are other ways to help your sister's husband without putting your own financial future at risk. This could include helping him find a job, connecting him with resources for financial counseling or debt relief, or exploring other options for selling his assets.

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Hi Sir. I have a typical.problem here. I lend.money to one of.mynfriends for his bzness..I worked as a consultant for him. I made an agreement for the money given to him. Nevertheless he didn't return the money yet..I left him now some months back. Though I asked him to give bac money but he says he has lost lot in his bzness and also says he can't return the money. Sometimes indirectly he says that because of me he has landed in loss. I don't want to go.legally but it has been lot.ot.months that he has returned money. But now I can't wait. What should I do now..pls advise. Thanks
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Initiate an open and honest conversation with your friend about the loan. Express your concerns and feelings without blaming or accusing. Use "I" statements to convey how his actions have impacted you personally.
Give your friend an opportunity to explain his side of the story. Listen attentively to understand his perspective and the challenges he's facing with his business. Empathize with his situation while also emphasizing the importance of fulfilling financial commitments.
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Validate your friend's feelings and concerns about the situation, but also assert the impact his actions have had on you. Help him understand the importance of honoring agreements and maintaining trust in the relationship.
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Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your BIL is living on the generosity from each of you. That supply chain when broken will then ensure that he will start to mend his ways. But it is possible that he has already gone into the deep end of the tunnel here.
Do suggest to your FIL to stop all money support; when this happens, your BIL is bound to contact your FIL again which when your FIL can suggest that his son get serious about getting treated by a professional who can manage his addictive behaviors and also help him come out of his relationship hits.
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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 08, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi i am 40M. would request your help to understand what should be the corpus required for retirement as i want to get retired in next 3-5yrs. currently my take home is 2.3L monthly & my wife also works but leaving the job in next 2-3 months. we have a daughter 10yrs, currently i stay on rent and total monthly expense is 1.1L month. once i will retire we will shift in our own parental flat, where hopefully there will be no rent. current Investments 1. 50L in REC bonds getting matured in 2029 2. 42L in stocks 3. 17L in MF 4. 16L FD 5. 15L in PPF 6. 1.3L SIP monthly i do My Wife Investments 1. 30L corpus 2. flat with current value 40L and we get rental of 10K monthly. Please guide what should be the retirement corpus required combined to retire, assuming i need 75L for my daughter post grad and marriage and we would be requiring 75K monthly for our expenses after retiring
Ans: You have explained your income, goals, current assets, and future plans with great clarity. Your early planning spirit is strong. This gives a very good base. You can reach a peaceful retirement with smart steps in the next few years.

» Your Current Position

You are 40 years old. You plan to retire in 3 to 5 years. You earn Rs 2.3 lakh per month. Your wife also works but will stop working soon. You have one daughter aged 10. Your current monthly cost is around Rs 1.1 lakh. This cost will reduce after retirement because you will shift to your parental flat.

Your investment base is already good. You have saved in bonds, stocks, mutual funds, PPF, FD, and SIP. Your wife also has her own savings and rental income from a flat. All these create a good starting point.

This early base helps you plan stronger. It also gives room for more shaping. You are on the right road.

» Your Family Goals

You need Rs 75 lakh for your daughter’s higher education and marriage.

You want Rs 75,000 per month for family living after retirement.

You want to retire in 3 to 5 years.

You will shift to your parental flat after retirement.

You will have rental income of Rs 10,000 from your wife’s flat.

These goals are clear. They give direction. They allow a strong plan.

» Your Present Investments

Your investments include:

Rs 50 lakh in REC bonds maturing in 2029.

Rs 42 lakh in stocks.

Rs 17 lakh in mutual funds.

Rs 16 lakh in fixed deposits.

Rs 15 lakh in PPF.

Rs 1.3 lakh as monthly SIP.

Your wife holds:

Rs 30 lakh corpus.

A flat worth Rs 40 lakh with rent of Rs 10,000 each month.

Your combined net worth is healthy. This gives good power to build your retirement fund in the coming years.

» Understanding Your Expense Need After Retirement

You expect Rs 75,000 per month after retirement. This includes all basic needs. You will not have rent. That reduces cost. This assumption looks fair today.

Your cost will rise with inflation. So you must plan for rising needs. A strong retirement corpus must support rising cost for 40 to 45 years because you are retiring early.

An early retirement needs a large buffer. So you need safety along with growth. Your plan must include growth assets and safety assets.

» How Much Monthly Income You Will Need Later

Rs 75,000 per month is Rs 9 lakh per year. In future years, this cost can rise. If we assume steady rise, your future cost will be much higher.

So the retirement corpus must be designed to:

Give monthly income.

Beat inflation.

Support you for 40 to 45 years.

Protect your family even in market down cycles.

Allow flexibility if your needs change.

A strong retirement fund must support both safety and long-term growth.

» How Much Corpus You Should Target

A safe target is a large and flexible corpus that can support long years without running out of money. For early retirement, the usual thumb rule suggests a very high number. This is because you need income for many decades.

You need a corpus big enough to produce rising income. You also need a cushion for unexpected health costs, lifestyle shocks, and inflation changes.

Your target retirement corpus should be in a strong range. For your needs of Rs 75,000 per month and for goals like daughter’s education and marriage, you should aim for a combined retirement readiness corpus in the higher bracket.

A safe range for your family would be a very large number crossing multiple crores. This large range gives you:

Income safety.

Inflation protection.

Peace during market cycles.

Comfort in long life.

Room for daughter’s future.

Strong backup for health.

You are already on the way due to your existing assets. You will reach close to this range with systematic building over the next 3 to 5 years.

» Why You Need This Larger Corpus

You will retire early. That means more years of living from your corpus. Your corpus must not fall early. It must grow even after retirement. It must give monthly income and long-term family protection.

This is only possible when the corpus is strong and well-structured. A weak corpus creates stress. A strong corpus creates freedom.

Also, your daughter’s future cost must be kept aside. This must be parked in a separate fund. This must not touch your retirement money.

A strong corpus makes these two worlds separate and safe.

» Your Existing Assets and Their Strength

You already have good diversification:

Bonds give safety.

Stocks give growth.

Mutual funds give managed growth.

FD gives stability.

PPF gives tax-free long-term savings.

This blend is already a good start. But you need to make the blend more structured for early retirement.

Your Rs 1.3 lakh monthly SIP is also strong. It builds your future fast. You should continue.

Your wife’s rental income is small but steady. This adds strength.

Your combined financial base can reach your retirement target if you refine your allocation now.

» Your Daughter’s Future Fund Need

You need Rs 75 lakh for your daughter’s education and marriage. You should keep this goal separate from your retirement goal.

Your current SIP and future allocations should create a dedicated fund for this goal. A long-term fund can grow well when managed actively.

Do not mix this fund with your retirement needs. Mixing leads to shortage in old age. Always keep this corpus ring-fenced.

» A Strong Asset Mix For Your Retirement Path

A balanced mix is needed. You need growth assets to beat inflation. You also need stable assets for income.

You must avoid index funds because they do not give flexibility. Index funds follow a fixed index. They cannot make active changes in different markets. They cannot move to better stocks when markets change. They force you to stay in weak sectors for long. They also do not help you in down cycles because they cannot protect you by shifting to safer options. This can hurt retirement planning.

Actively managed funds are better because:

They give active asset selection.

They give scope for better returns.

They give flexibility to change sectors.

They give downside management.

They give access to a skilled fund manager.

They support long-term planning more safely.

Direct plans also carry risk. Direct plans do not give guidance. They do not give behavioural support. They do not give market timing help. They do not give portfolio shaping. They leave all the judgement to you. One mistake can cost years of wealth.

Regular plans with guidance from a Certified Financial Planner help you shape decisions. They help you remain disciplined. They help you avoid panic. They help you decide allocation changes at the right time. This saves wealth in long-term.

» How Your Investment Journey Should Grow in the Next 3–5 Years

Continue your SIP.

Increase SIP when your income rises.

Shift part of your stock holding into planned long-term mutual funds to reduce concentration risk.

Build a defined daughter’s education fund.

Keep a part of your REC bond maturity amount for long-term.

Avoid locking too much into fixed deposits for long periods.

Build a safety fund for one year of expenses.

This will create a full structure.

» Your Rental Income Role

Your rental income of Rs 10,000 per month is small but steady. Over time it will rise. This income will support your monthly cash flow after retirement.

You can use this for utilities or health insurance premiums. This gives a cushion.

» Your Emergency Buffer

You should keep at least one year of essential cost in a safe place. This can be in a liquid account or short-term fund. This protects you in shocks.

Since you plan early retirement, a strong buffer is important. It gives peace even in low months.

» A Structured Retirement Approach

A complete retirement plan for you should include:

A clear monthly income plan after retirement.

A corpus that can grow and protect.

A rising income system that matches inflation.

A separate daughter’s future fund.

A health cover plan for your family.

A tax-efficient withdrawal plan.

A market cycle plan to protect you in tough times.

This holistic approach keeps your family strong for decades.

» What You Should Build by Retirement Year

Your aim should be to reach a strong multi-crore range in investments before retirement. You already hold a large amount. You will add more in the next 3 to 5 years through SIP, stock growth, bond maturity, and disciplined saving.

Once you reach your target range, you can start the shifting process:

Move a part to stable assets.

Keep a part in long-term growth assets.

Create a monthly income strategy.

Keep a reserve bucket.

Keep a child future bucket.

Keep a long-term growth bucket.

This structure protects you in all market conditions.

» Final Insights

Your financial journey is already strong. You have a good income. You have saved well. You have multiple asset types. You have a clear timeline. And you have clear goals. This foundation is solid.

In the next 3 to 5 years, your focus should be on growing your combined corpus to a strong multi-crore range, keeping a separate fund for your daughter, reducing risk in unplanned assets, and building a stable long-term structure.

With the present path and a disciplined structure, you can retire peacefully and support your family with confidence for many decades.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2499 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10874 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Money
Hello my name is saket, I monthly salary is 43k and my saving is zero. My Rent is 15 k and 10 k i send to my parents. How can i save money and investments.
Ans: 1. Your Current Monthly Numbers

Salary: Rs 43,000

Rent: Rs 15,000

Support to parents: Rs 10,000

Left with: Rs 18,000 for food, travel, bills, and savings

You have very little room, but saving is still possible if done smartly.

2. First Step: Build a Small Emergency Buffer

You must build Rs 10,000 to Rs 20,000 emergency money.
This protects you from taking loans for small issues.

How to build it:

Save Rs 3,000 to Rs 5,000 every month in a simple bank savings account

Do this for the next few months

Don’t touch it unless truly needed

3. Create a Mini Budget (Very Simple One)

Try this split from the remaining Rs 18,000:

Daily living (food + transport): Rs 10,000 – 11,000

Personal expenses (phone, internet, basics): Rs 3,000 – 4,000

Savings + investments: Rs 3,000 – 5,000

If this feels difficult, reduce food/transport costs by small adjustments.

4. Where to Invest Once You Have Emergency Money

(For minors: This is general education. For actual investing, get guidance from a trusted adult or family member.)

After you build emergency money, start small monthly investing.

You can begin with:

Rs 1,000 to Rs 2,000 SIP in a simple, diversified equity fund

Increase the SIP whenever salary increases or expenses reduce

Avoid complicated products.
Keep it simple.
Focus on consistency.

5. Easy Practical Ways to Increase Saving

These small moves help a lot:

Avoid food delivery

Use public transport as much as possible

Reduce subscriptions you don’t use

Fix a daily expense limit

Keep a separate bank account only for savings

Even Rs 200 saved daily = Rs 6,000 monthly.

6. Increase Income Slowly

Try small income boosters:

Weekend tutoring

Freelancing

Part-time projects

Selling old gadgets

Learning new skills for future salary growth

Even Rs 3,000 extra income changes your savings life.

7. Build the Habit First

The amount doesn’t matter in the beginning.
The habit matters more.

Even saving Rs 500 every month is better than zero.
Once salary grows, you will already know how to save.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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