Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 04, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2025Hindi
Money

Is ELSS really better than PPF for tax-saving? I'm not sure what to choose. I'm 29 years old, working in an MNC with a take-home salary of 1.2 lakh/month. I currently invest 1.5 lakh in PPF to save tax under Section 80C, and keep around 5 lakh in fixed deposits. A few colleagues suggested ELSS for higher returns and better liquidity. I'm confused. Should I shift some of my tax-saving investments to ELSS or continue with the safer PPF route?

Ans: You’ve done very well by starting your PPF investments early. At 29, you’ve taken a responsible step. Many in their 20s delay long-term financial thinking. You also have a decent monthly salary and healthy savings in FDs. That shows good financial discipline.

However, your question is a very common one today. Many are told ELSS is better for tax-saving than PPF. But that’s not always true. Let us evaluate in detail.

» Understanding PPF: The Safety-First Tax Saver

– PPF gives fixed, government-backed interest.

– The interest rate changes every quarter. It is around 7%–8% currently.

– PPF has a 15-year lock-in period. You cannot fully withdraw before that.

– Partial withdrawal is allowed only after 5 years, under limited conditions.

– PPF is tax-exempt at all stages. Investment, interest, and maturity—all are tax-free.

– Ideal for conservative investors. Suitable for goals like retirement or children’s future.

– It is best for risk-averse investors who want stability.

– No market-linked volatility. So, no negative return risk.

– It suits people who value capital safety over returns.

– You can open a PPF account in post office or authorised banks.

» Understanding ELSS: The Market-Linked Tax Saver

– ELSS stands for Equity Linked Saving Scheme.

– It is a mutual fund category with tax benefits under Section 80C.

– 80% to 100% of its portfolio is in equity and equity-related instruments.

– It has the shortest lock-in under 80C—only 3 years.

– However, liquidity doesn’t mean guaranteed easy exit. Value fluctuates.

– Market falls can affect returns even after 3 years.

– Over long periods (7–10 years), ELSS has potential to beat inflation and fixed returns.

– It is suited for long-term investors who can handle some market risk.

– ELSS can help you create wealth, unlike PPF which mainly preserves capital.

– Investment is eligible for Rs 1.5 lakh deduction under 80C.

– However, returns are taxable. LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

– STCG (if redeemed before 1 year) is taxed at 20%.

» Risk-Reward Comparison: PPF vs ELSS

– PPF offers guaranteed but modest returns.

– ELSS offers potentially higher returns but no guarantee.

– PPF suits those who are not comfortable with capital erosion.

– ELSS suits those who want long-term wealth creation.

– PPF works best for those with fixed goals in mind and fixed time frames.

– ELSS fits those who can remain invested for 7+ years without worrying about ups and downs.

– ELSS can outperform PPF over long periods, but may underperform in the short term.

– Volatility in ELSS is higher. Returns can vary based on market cycle.

– PPF does not carry market risk. ELSS does.

» Tax Efficiency: Which Saves More?

– PPF offers EEE benefit. No tax at entry, on interest, or on maturity.

– ELSS investment is tax-deductible under 80C.

– But returns are taxable. Gains over Rs 1.25 lakh attract LTCG tax of 12.5%.

– Also, if sold before 12 months, 20% STCG tax applies.

– Therefore, even if ELSS gives higher gross return, net benefit may reduce.

– PPF’s tax-free maturity gives clear advantage for conservative investors.

– For high earners in higher tax brackets, ELSS’s post-tax gains may still be attractive over time.

» Liquidity and Flexibility

– ELSS has 3-year lock-in, but recommended holding is 5–7 years minimum.

– After 3 years, you can redeem or switch as needed.

– PPF has strict withdrawal norms. Liquidity is poor in early years.

– Partial withdrawal allowed only after 5th year.

– Loan facility is available on PPF between 3rd and 6th year.

– If liquidity is a concern, ELSS offers more flexibility.

– But flexibility with volatility requires emotional discipline too.

» Asset Allocation Advice for You

– At age 29, you have long investment horizon.

– You can take some calculated risk for better wealth creation.

– PPF is excellent for long-term stability. Continue contributing a base amount.

– But putting full Rs 1.5 lakh in PPF limits your return potential.

– You may consider splitting your 80C investments.

– Invest Rs 75,000 in PPF to keep safety base.

– Invest remaining Rs 75,000 in ELSS via SIP mode.

– SIP reduces risk of market timing and gives rupee-cost averaging.

– This mix gives both stability and growth.

– It also builds market experience gradually without taking full exposure.

– In future, as income grows, increase ELSS portion gradually.

» Why Not to Choose Index Funds

– Index funds only track a market index. No active research or stock selection.

– They perform as per the index—no outperformance.

– In volatile or sideways markets, index funds can stay flat.

– Actively managed funds can outperform index funds in Indian markets.

– Indian markets are not yet fully efficient. Stock picking by experts still adds value.

– Also, index funds don’t protect in market crashes. Active funds may shift to defensive sectors.

– Therefore, ELSS with active management is better for tax-saving than index-linked ELSS.

» Why Not to Choose Direct Funds

– Direct funds have lower expense ratios. But savings are often overestimated.

– Without guidance, fund selection and rebalancing becomes random.

– Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner give handholding.

– A qualified MFD with CFP credential monitors your goals and adjusts plan.

– They align investments with your timeline and risk profile.

– DIY investors often make emotional mistakes—panic exits, wrong funds, over-diversification.

– Cost of wrong decision is much higher than expense ratio difference.

– Therefore, invest in regular plans via an MFD with CFP certification.

» Disadvantages of Using Only PPF

– You lose out on equity growth.

– Returns may not beat inflation over long term.

– Fixed rate investments limit wealth creation.

– Over-dependence on fixed return schemes may delay goals.

– Especially for retirement or children’s higher education, equity is essential.

– If you only use PPF, you may need to save more to meet the same goal.

» Your FD Position: Reconsider the Allocation

– You are keeping Rs 5 lakh in fixed deposits.

– FD returns are taxable fully as per your slab.

– FD rates are not inflation-adjusted. Post-tax returns are lower.

– Consider moving part of FD corpus to hybrid mutual funds.

– Hybrid funds give some market exposure with lower risk than ELSS.

– If you want liquidity and better returns than FD, hybrid funds help.

– Keep emergency fund equal to 6–8 months’ expenses in FD or liquid funds.

– Avoid excess cash parking in FDs beyond emergency need.

» Practical Action Steps for You

– Maintain Rs 75,000 yearly in PPF to keep safe corpus building.

– Start a Rs 6,000/month SIP in ELSS for 80C savings and equity exposure.

– Choose regular ELSS plans and invest through a CFP-qualified MFD.

– Avoid ELSS direct plans unless you have deep fund knowledge.

– Keep Rs 2–3 lakh in FD for emergencies. Shift rest to hybrid mutual funds.

– Review your allocation every 12 months. Rebalance as per your life stage.

– Avoid mixing insurance and investments. Don’t buy ULIP or traditional policies for tax.

– Focus on goal-based planning. Align tax-saving tools to your goals.

» Finally

– You are young. You can afford to take calculated investment risk.

– PPF is great for safety. ELSS adds wealth-building power.

– Don’t blindly follow colleagues. Choose what suits your goals and risk comfort.

– A balanced approach—some in PPF, some in ELSS—is ideal for you today.

– Over time, shift more towards equity as your confidence grows.

– Use regular mutual funds with a CFP-guided MFD for right choices.

– Avoid index funds and direct plans. Avoid short-term temptation over long-term stability.

– With proper guidance, your savings will grow with less stress.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

Listen
Money
Hi Sir/Ma'am, I am 25 yrs old and my take home monthly is approx 1.2 lacs working in IT. Currently I am investing in PPF since 2020. Used to invest around Rs. 1000/- pm but slowly increased my investment to 12,500 from last month onwards and looking to continue the same. Since beginning of this year, I have started to invest in mutual funds with a monthly SIP of 15,000. I invest in a mix of small, mid and large cap funds. Does it makes sense to consider investing in ELSS tax saver funds? Do they generally give good returns as compared to SML cap funds? I am looking to step up my SIP by 10% every year. My goal is to attain financial freedom in the next ten years with more 1cr. as a corpus. I also have a LIC jeevan anand policy and I invest around 1,250/- every month which will mature in next 10 years. In order to achieve my financial goal fast, should I increase my monthly SIP to maybe 30k by decreasing the amount invested in other schemes? I know that SIPs generally comes with a better return but with a high risk. Is there any other scheme that I should opt for which gives higher return? Please suggest how to go about it based on my current income and living expenses. I also have some liabilities after investments such as: Personal loan: 45k Consumer loans: around 10k House expenses: 20k My current investment portfolio so far: SIP: 40K (Recently started as mentioned) PPF: 2.2 lacs EPF: 1.8 lacs LIC: 1 lac Thank you!
Ans: Firstly, I commend you for taking proactive steps towards building your financial future at such a young age. Your commitment to increasing your investments over time is commendable and will serve you well in achieving your financial goals.

Regarding your query about ELSS tax saver funds, they can indeed be a valuable addition to your investment portfolio. ELSS funds not only offer tax benefits under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act but also have the potential to generate higher returns over the long term compared to traditional investment avenues like PPF.

As for comparing ELSS funds with small-cap funds, it's essential to understand that they belong to different categories with varying risk profiles. Small-cap funds typically carry higher risk but also have the potential for higher returns, while ELSS funds invest primarily in equity markets and have the added advantage of tax benefits. Both can play a role in diversifying your investment portfolio and achieving your financial goals.

Considering your goal of attaining financial freedom in the next ten years with a corpus of over 1 crore, it's essential to review your investment strategy periodically and make adjustments as needed. Increasing your monthly SIP to 30k and potentially reallocating some funds from other schemes could be a prudent move, given your high income and relatively low living expenses.

Regarding your existing LIC Jeevan Anand policy, surrendering it and reinvesting the proceeds in mutual funds could potentially yield higher returns, especially considering your long investment horizon and risk tolerance. However, it's essential to evaluate the surrender value, any applicable penalties, and the potential tax implications before making a decision.

In summary, continue with your disciplined approach to investing, consider adding ELSS funds to your portfolio, and review your investments periodically to ensure they align with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Listen
Money
Hello, I am 25 yrs old and my take home monthly salary is approx 80k. I do freelance as well, so total in hand income comes around 1.2lacs pm. I am investing in PPF since 2020. Used to invest around Rs. 1000/- pm but slowly increased my investment to 12,500 from last month onwards and looking to continue the same. Since beginning of this year, I have started to invest in mutual funds with a monthly SIP of 15,000. I invest in a mix of small, mid and large cap funds. Does it makes sense to consider investing in ELSS tax saver funds? Do they generally give good returns as compared to SML cap funds? I am looking to step up my SIP by 10% every year. My goal is to attain financial freedom in the next ten years with more 1cr. as a corpus. I also have a LIC jeevan anand policy and I invest around 1,250/- every month which will mature in next 10 years. In order to achieve my financial goal fast, should I increase my monthly SIP to maybe 30k by decreasing the amount invested in other schemes? I know that SIPs generally comes with a better return but with a high risk. Is there any other scheme that I should opt for which gives higher return? Please suggest how to go about it based on my current income and living expenses. I also have some liabilities after investments such as: Personal loan: 45k Consumer loans: around 10k House expenses: 20k My current investment portfolio so far: SIP: 40K (Recently started as mentioned) PPF: 2.2 lacs EPF: 1.8 lacs LIC: 1 lac Thank you!
Ans: It's impressive to see your proactive approach towards financial planning at such a young age. Let's delve into optimizing your investment strategy to achieve your goal of attaining financial freedom with a corpus of ?1 Crore in the next ten years.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
Your investment journey, including PPF, SIPs in mutual funds, and a LIC Jeevan Anand policy, demonstrates a solid foundation for wealth creation. However, let's explore potential enhancements to accelerate your wealth accumulation.

Considering ELSS Tax Saver Funds
ELSS tax saver funds offer the dual benefit of tax savings under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act and potential for higher returns. While they carry market risk like any equity investment, historically, ELSS funds have provided competitive returns compared to other equity categories over the long term.

Assessing Asset Allocation and Risk Tolerance
Diversification across asset classes is essential to manage risk effectively. While your current portfolio includes a mix of equity (SIPs), debt (PPF, LIC), and EPF, it's crucial to align your asset allocation with your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Stepping Up SIP Contributions
Increasing your monthly SIP contributions to ?30,000, as you've proposed, can expedite your journey towards your financial goal. By redirecting funds from other schemes, such as reducing contributions to your LIC Jeevan Anand policy, you can allocate more towards equity investments, potentially generating higher returns over the long term.

Exploring Alternatives for High Returns
While SIPs offer a disciplined approach to wealth accumulation, exploring other investment avenues can complement your portfolio. Consider avenues like direct equity investments, provided you have the expertise and time for thorough research. However, be mindful of the associated risks and volatility.

Managing Liabilities
Addressing your existing liabilities, including personal and consumer loans, should be a priority. Prioritize paying off high-interest debt to free up more funds for investment and improve your overall financial health.

Maintaining a Balanced Approach
Balancing your investment goals with your living expenses is crucial to ensure financial stability. Regularly review your budget and investment strategy to optimize returns while meeting your lifestyle needs.

Final Thoughts
By enhancing your SIP contributions, exploring ELSS tax saver funds, and maintaining a disciplined approach to investment, you're on track to achieve your financial freedom goal. Remember to seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to tailor a personalized plan aligned with your aspirations and circumstances.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

Listen
Career
Thank you sir for taking the time & giving a detailed answers to my curious questions. I have two more queries to your answer so that my approach cam be crystal. Will be highly obliged if you answer them. 1. Post PPF if I give the same amount to ELSS funds(for tax savings) will it outperform PPF after tax deduction in the long run? & 2. To reach my goal of 3-4cr I can adjust the ratio of 24k from previous one to Axis Index-3k, Axis Mid- 3k & Sbi Small- 18k. With 4 to 5% increase in SIP yearly. Will this be apt to reach close to my goal? Regards.
Ans: ELSS vs PPF for Outperformance:
Yes, ELSS has the potential to outperform PPF after tax deduction in the long run, but it comes with higher risk. Here's a breakdown:

ELSS: Equity-linked Mutual Funds. Potentially higher returns due to exposure to the stock market, but also subject to market volatility.
PPF: Public Provident Fund. Offers guaranteed returns set by the government, with lower risk. However, returns are typically lower than equity markets.
Here are some factors to consider:

Investment Horizon: ELSS performs better over longer timeframes (ideally 10+ years) to ride out market fluctuations and benefit from compounding.
Risk Tolerance: ELSS can experience significant ups and downs. Are you comfortable with this volatility?
2. Portfolio for ?3-4 Crore Goal:

It's possible to reach a ?3-4 crore goal with the combination you mentioned (Axis Index, Axis Mid, SBI Small Cap) and increasing SIP by 4-5% yearly. However, there are uncertainties:

Market Performance: Equity markets are inherently unpredictable. Past performance isn't a guarantee of future results.
Time Horizon: The timeframe significantly impacts the possibility of reaching your goal. A longer horizon increases the potential for growth.
Here are some suggestions to consider:

Asset Allocation: Your current allocation leans heavily towards small-cap funds, which are riskier but have higher growth potential. Consider a more balanced approach with some large-cap exposure for stability. A financial advisor can help you determine the right asset allocation based on your risk profile and goals.
Diversification: Consider including other asset classes like debt to mitigate risk. A diversified portfolio helps manage volatility.
Review and Rebalance: Regularly review your portfolio performance and rebalance if needed to maintain your target asset allocation.
Remember: Reaching a ?3-4 crore goal requires a significant investment and a long-term commitment. Consider consulting a registered financial advisor for personalized advice tailored to your specific situation and risk tolerance. They can help you create a comprehensive financial plan to achieve your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Moneywize

Moneywize   | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Oct 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 05, 2024Hindi
Money
I’m from Pune. I’m 48 with two children. Should I invest in ELSS funds to save tax, or should I focus on traditional instruments like PPF and fixed deposits?
Ans: Deciding between Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) and traditional investment instruments like Public Provident Fund (PPF) and Fixed Deposits (FDs) depends on various factors, including your financial goals, risk tolerance, investment horizon, and tax-saving needs. Here's a comprehensive comparison to help you make an informed decision:

1. Understanding the Investment Options

a. ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Schemes)

• Nature: Equity Mutual Funds with a tax-saving component.
• Lock-In Period: 3 years (shortest among tax-saving instruments under Section 80C).
• Returns: Potentially higher returns as they are invested in equities, but subject to market volatility.
• Tax Benefits: Investments up to ?1.5 lakh per annum are eligible for deduction under Section 80C.
• Liquidity: Relatively higher liquidity post the lock-in period compared to other tax-saving instruments.

b. PPF (Public Provident Fund)

• Nature: Government-backed long-term savings scheme.
• Lock-In Period: 15 years.
• Returns: Moderate and tax-free returns, revised periodically by the government (typically around 7-8% p.a.).
• Tax Benefits: Investments up to ?1.5 lakh per annum qualify for deduction under Section 80C. The interest earned and the maturity amount are tax-free.
• Safety: Very low risk as it's backed by the government.

c. Fixed Deposits (FDs)

• Nature: Fixed-term investment with banks or post offices.
• Lock-In Period: Varies; typically no lock-in for regular FDs, but tax-saving FDs have a 5-year lock-in.
• Returns: Fixed interest rates, generally lower than ELSS but higher than savings accounts. Current rates vary but are around 5-7% p.a. for tax-saving FDs.
• Tax Benefits: Investments up to ?1.5 lakh in tax-saving FDs qualify for deduction under Section 80C.
• Safety: Low risk, especially with reputable banks.

2. Factors to Consider

a. Risk Appetite

• ELSS: Suitable if you are willing to take on market-related risks for potentially higher returns.
• PPF & FDs: Ideal for conservative investors seeking capital protection and guaranteed returns.

b. Investment Horizon

• ELSS: 3-year lock-in period, but generally better for medium to long-term goals.
• PPF: 15-year commitment, suitable for long-term goals like retirement or children's education.
• FDs: Flexible, but tax-saving FDs require a 5-year lock-in, suitable for medium-term goals.

c. Returns

• ELSS: Historically, ELSS funds have outperformed PPF and FDs over the long term, but with higher volatility.
• PPF: Offers stable and tax-free returns, which are beneficial in a low-interest-rate environment.
• FDs: Provide guaranteed returns, useful for capital preservation but may lag behind inflation and equity returns over time.

d. Tax Efficiency

• ELSS: Returns are subject to capital gains tax. Short-term (if held for less than 3 years) gains are taxed as per your income slab, while long-term gains (exceeding ?1 lakh) are taxed at 10%.
• PPF: Completely tax-free returns.
• FDs: Interest earned is taxable as per your income slab, which can reduce the effective returns.

3. Recommendations Based on Your Profile

Given that you are 48 years old with two children, your investment strategy should balance between growth and safety, considering your proximity to retirement and financial responsibilities.

a. Diversified Approach

A balanced portfolio that includes both ELSS and traditional instruments like PPF and FDs can help mitigate risks while aiming for reasonable growth.

• ELSS: Allocate a portion (e.g., 30-40%) to ELSS to benefit from potential equity growth, which can help in wealth accumulation for retirement or funding children's education.
• PPF: Continue contributing to PPF for long-term, stable, and tax-free returns. Given its 15-year tenure, it aligns well with retirement planning.
• FDs: Use FDs for short to medium-term goals or as a part of your emergency fund, ensuring liquidity and capital preservation.

b. Consider Your Tax Bracket

If you are in a higher tax bracket, maximizing tax-saving instruments under Section 80C can provide significant tax relief. ELSS, PPF, and tax-saving FDs all qualify, so diversifying among them can spread risk and optimize tax benefits.

c. Assess Liquidity Needs

Ensure you have sufficient liquidity for unforeseen expenses. While ELSS has a shorter lock-in compared to PPF, both still tie up funds for a few years. Maintain a separate emergency fund in a more liquid form, such as a savings account or liquid mutual funds.

d. Review Your Risk Tolerance

At 48, with retirement possibly 10-20 years away, a moderate risk appetite might be suitable. ELSS can offer growth potential, while PPF and FDs provide stability.

4. Additional Considerations

• Emergency Fund: Ensure you have 6-12 months' worth of expenses saved in a highly liquid form.
• Insurance: Adequate health and life insurance are crucial, especially with dependents.
• Debt Management: If you have any high-interest debt, prioritize paying it off before locking funds in fixed instruments.

5. Consult a Financial Advisor

While the above guidelines provide a general framework, it's advisable to consult with a certified financial planner or advisor. They can offer personalized advice tailored to your specific financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance.

Finally, both ELSS and traditional instruments like PPF and FDs have their unique advantages. A diversified investment strategy that leverages the strengths of each can help you achieve a balanced portfolio, ensuring both growth and security. Given your age and family responsibilities, striking the right balance between risk and safety is essential for long-term financial well-being.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x