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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 16, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Atul Question by Atul on Aug 16, 2025Hindi
Money

I am , Atul. My age is 27 now. My salary is 28500rs P.M . Iam paying EMIs of 11,500rs P.M will closed Till December 2025. And my home expenses is 10000rs. I am planning to buy a new home upto 30 Lakh. How can I manage it and when to buy ?

Ans: You are thinking about your home in a very early stage, Atul. That is really good and responsible. At 27, you are looking at big goals. That is a strong step. Let us now carefully see how you can handle it.

» Current Financial Position
– Your salary is Rs 28,500 per month.
– EMI is Rs 11,500 per month till Dec 2025.
– Household expenses are Rs 10,000 per month.
– After EMI and expenses, you save Rs 7,000.
– This is a positive sign. You are not in deficit.

» EMI Commitment Assessment
– Present EMI takes a major share of income.
– Till Dec 2025, savings will stay limited.
– After EMI ends, you will free Rs 11,500 monthly.
– That will increase savings to Rs 18,500 monthly.
– This is when your cash flow improves greatly.

» House Purchase Timing
– Buying a home before Dec 2025 is not wise.
– Your EMI burden is already high.
– Adding a new home loan will stress finances.
– From 2026, you can look at a loan safely.
– Then you will have better repayment capacity.

» Budget for New Home
– Home cost target is Rs 30 lakh.
– Banks usually ask 20% as down payment.
– That means about Rs 6 lakh minimum upfront.
– Presently, you cannot build this in one year.
– With higher savings from 2026, it is possible.

» Stepwise Plan for Home Purchase
– Save aggressively from Jan 2026 onwards.
– Keep Rs 15,000 or more monthly for down payment.
– Within 3 years, you can reach close to Rs 6 lakh.
– Then apply for a loan confidently.
– Loan EMI will also need careful check with income.

» Income and Career Growth Factor
– You are still 27 and career will grow.
– Your salary can increase in coming years.
– Promotions, job change or skill upgrades will help.
– Higher income will make home loan easier.
– Keep investing in your career as much as money.

» Managing Lifestyle Expenses
– Presently you spend Rs 10,000 on home needs.
– This looks moderate and controlled.
– Continue this discipline even after EMI ends.
– Avoid unnecessary loans or gadgets.
– Each rupee saved will take you closer to the home.

» Emergency Reserve Importance
– Before saving for a house, build emergency fund.
– At least 6 months of expenses should be ready.
– That means around Rs 60,000 set aside.
– Keep this in liquid and safe instrument.
– Never use this fund for down payment.

» Loan Burden Evaluation
– A Rs 30 lakh home may need Rs 24 lakh loan.
– EMI for that may cross Rs 20,000 monthly.
– You must check if income can support that.
– Banks usually look at 40-50% EMI to income ratio.
– You must keep EMI within safe limits.

» Alternate Property Strategy
– Instead of 30 lakh, you may start smaller.
– A 20-25 lakh property can also work.
– That will reduce down payment and EMI.
– Later you can upgrade as income grows.
– It will keep your financial life balanced.

» Saving Instruments for Down Payment
– Use recurring deposits or short-term funds.
– Keep money in safe, accessible options.
– Avoid risky bets that can erode capital.
– Goal here is stability, not high returns.
– Regular discipline matters more than product type.

» Insurance Protection
– If you plan a large loan, insurance is must.
– Life cover should match the loan liability.
– Health insurance is equally important for you.
– Without insurance, one event can derail plan.
– Get this protection before applying for home loan.

» Tax Planning Angle
– Home loan gives tax benefits under IT Act.
– You can save on interest and principal.
– These savings will support your cash flow.
– But don’t take loan only for tax purpose.
– Primary focus should be repayment ability.

» Lifestyle and Family Goals Balance
– Home should not compromise other goals.
– Marriage, children, retirement will also need money.
– Avoid putting all focus only on house.
– Parallel savings must continue for long-term goals.
– Balance is key to financial well-being.

» Emotional Side of Buying Home
– Buying early may give excitement.
– But stress will kill that excitement.
– Waiting till 2026 gives confidence.
– You will buy with freedom, not fear.
– This patience will bring joy, not burden.

» Long-Term Financial Discipline
– Avoid loans for cars or luxury items now.
– Focus only on essential spending.
– Increase savings rate step by step.
– Automatic transfers help build corpus steadily.
– Financial freedom needs steady habits.

» Risk Management
– Don’t depend only on salary.
– Think of side income options.
– Even a small freelance income helps.
– Diversified income means less pressure on job.
– It will also help in loan eligibility.

» Property Loan Readiness
– Before applying, check your credit score.
– Pay all EMIs and bills on time.
– This will boost loan approval chances.
– Good score also helps get better interest.
– Keep credit card usage under control.

» Finally
– Right now, focus on clearing EMI by 2025.
– Build emergency reserve before house savings.
– Start saving for down payment from 2026.
– Consider smaller property if cash flow is tight.
– Take insurance before loan for protection.
– Keep salary growth and side income in mind.
– Balance home with other life goals always.
– Buying a house is a big step.
– With patience and discipline, you will manage it.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Hello sir, I am 33yr old. I have a salary of 50k/month. I m living in rented house 8k/month. And SIP of 5k/month. Other expenses of 5-8k/month. Please suggest financial planning. And wanted to buy house.
Ans: It's great that you're thinking about financial planning at 33. Let's craft a strategy tailored to your needs and goals.

Emergency Fund:
Goal: Build an emergency fund equal to 6-12 months of living expenses.
Action: Allocate a portion of your savings monthly until you reach this target. Aim to have this fund in a liquid and easily accessible account.
SIPs & Investments:
Current SIP: 5k/month
Action: Consider increasing your SIP amount as your income grows. Diversify investments across equity, debt, and other asset classes to manage risk and achieve growth.
Home Purchase:
Goal: Buy a house.
Action: Start saving for a down payment. Consider your current expenses and see where you can cut back or increase savings. Also, explore home loan options to understand the amount you'd need to borrow and the EMI you'd be comfortable with.
Retirement Planning:
Goal: Secure your retirement.
Action: Start an SIP specifically for retirement. The earlier you start, the better. Consider allocating a portion of your monthly savings to this SIP.
Insurance:
Goal: Protect yourself and your loved ones.
Action: Ensure you have health insurance, life insurance, and if possible, disability insurance. Review and update coverage as your circumstances change.
Additional Income:
Goal: Increase income streams.
Action: Explore opportunities for side hustles, freelancing, or upskilling to boost your income.
Budgeting:
Goal: Manage expenses effectively.
Action: Create a monthly budget to track income and expenses. This will help you identify areas where you can save more.
Remember, financial planning is not a one-time activity. It's an ongoing process that requires regular review and adjustments as your life circumstances change. It's also essential to consult with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure your plan aligns with your goals, risk tolerance, and financial situation.

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2024Hindi
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I am a software engineer working from last 10 months currently earning 90k per month. How should i save to buy house in the next 3-4 years. My monthly expenses are around 30K. I am doing an SIP of 10k in parag parikh elss tax saver fund for 80C deductions. How should i invest remaining money for my house goal. Considering my father is also working and i will get some support from father.
Ans: To begin, congratulations on your diligent efforts as a software engineer and your commitment to planning for your future. It's commendable that you're thinking ahead about homeownership and seeking advice on financial planning.

Given your current situation, with a steady income and manageable expenses, you're in a good position to save for your house goal. Your SIP in a tax-saving fund is a wise move for optimizing your taxes while also working towards your goal.

Considering a time horizon of 3-4 years, it's essential to balance growth potential with risk. While your father's support is valuable, it's prudent to plan primarily based on your own resources.

For the remaining funds, you might consider a diversified investment approach. Since you've already utilized the 80C benefit, explore other avenues like mutual funds, debt instruments, or balanced funds. These can offer a mix of growth and stability, aligning with your medium-term goal.

Be cautious about direct investments without professional guidance. Working with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice and help navigate the complexities of the market, maximizing returns while minimizing risks.

Avoiding real estate as an investment option is wise, given its illiquidity and potential volatility. Instead, focus on liquid assets that offer flexibility and easier access to funds when needed.

Remember, consistency is key. Continue to monitor your investments regularly, adjusting them as needed based on market conditions and your evolving financial situation.

Your proactive approach to financial planning sets a strong foundation for achieving your homeownership goal. Keep up the disciplined saving and investing, and you'll be closer to realizing your dream.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2025
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Hello Sir, I am 40 years old. My income is 1 lakh per month. Currently, I have a personal loan running at the rate of 13.25%. After paying prepayment and EMI, I have Rs 248547 left to pay. Apart from this, I have two more loans of Rs 80000 and Rs 200000 running without interest rate. HDFC Bank will levy penalty on prepayment of these. In my savings, I have Mutual Funds of Rs 12000 per month, PPF of Rs 1000 per month and LIC of Rs 110308 and Term Plan of Rs 20000 per year and Health Insurance Policy of Rs 20000 per year. My family consists of my wife and me. How do I plan to buy a house in future?
Ans: You have already taken a few disciplined steps which deserve appreciation. Your monthly savings in mutual funds, PPF, and insurance plans show commitment. You are also aware of your loan obligations. This clarity is important for long-term wealth creation and goal planning.

Let us now structure a 360-degree financial roadmap to help you plan for a house purchase in the future. This plan will ensure balance between loan repayment, savings, and future commitments.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
You are 40 years old. Your household consists of you and your wife.

You earn Rs 1 lakh per month. This is your only source of income.

You have three loan liabilities. One is a personal loan of Rs 2.48 lakhs at 13.25% interest.

Other two loans of Rs 80,000 and Rs 2 lakhs carry no interest. But, prepayment penalty exists.

You invest Rs 12,000 monthly in mutual funds.

PPF contribution is Rs 1,000 monthly. This gives safe and long-term tax-free returns.

LIC policy of Rs 1,10,308 exists. Also, you have a term insurance of Rs 20,000 per year.

Health insurance premium of Rs 20,000 annually is also in place.

Step 1: Focus on Clearing High-Interest Debt First
Personal loan has the highest interest at 13.25%. Clear this loan first.

Avoid new investments till this loan is cleared. Your return from mutual funds is not guaranteed.

But your interest on the personal loan is guaranteed loss of 13.25%.

Pause SIPs temporarily, and divert that Rs 12,000 monthly towards personal loan prepayment.

Even pausing for 6-9 months will reduce your loan burden significantly.

This will also improve your credit score. Which will help in getting better home loan offers later.

Do not prepay zero-interest loans right now. Their prepayment penalty adds no value.

First, clear personal loan. Then revisit the other two loans.

Once this is done, restart your SIPs with a better mindset and structure.

Step 2: Review and Optimise Insurance Commitments
Term insurance of Rs 20,000 per year is ideal. Do not discontinue it.

You have health cover for Rs 20,000 annual premium. Please check sum insured.

Minimum Rs 10 lakh floater policy is advisable. Medical costs rise every year.

If your policy is under 5 lakh, consider upgrading it in future.

You hold a LIC policy of Rs 1,10,308. Most likely this is an endowment or traditional policy.

Such policies give poor returns, between 4 to 5% post-tax. Returns are not inflation-beating.

It also locks your money for long periods.

Please assess surrender value from your LIC agent.

If your policy is older than 3 years and surrender value is decent, consider surrendering it.

Reinvest that amount in mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).

Insurance should be only for protection. Never mix investment with insurance.

Step 3: Restructure and Reassess Monthly Investments
After clearing personal loan, reassign the Rs 12,000 SIP amount properly.

You should invest in regular mutual funds with help from a qualified CFP and MFD.

Avoid direct funds. Direct plans lack handholding, market timing, and asset rebalancing support.

A certified planner gives holistic asset allocation advice, goal planning and emotional support.

Also avoid index funds. Index funds follow market blindly. No downside protection during market crash.

Actively managed funds can outperform during volatility. A good fund manager makes a difference.

Structured allocation among flexi-cap, large and mid-cap, and multi-asset is best suited for you.

Debt funds for short term needs. Hybrid or equity for long term goals like house purchase.

All this should be personalised through a planner, not based on online trends.

Step 4: Set a Clear Time Frame for House Purchase
You must decide when you want to buy the house.

If your goal is to buy within 2-3 years, avoid equity-based instruments for this goal.

Use high quality debt mutual funds or recurring deposit to build down payment.

Your EMI eligibility depends on income, credit score, existing loan burden and age.

After personal loan closure, your CIBIL score will improve.

You can save Rs 20,000 to Rs 25,000 monthly post-loan repayment.

Save this into a dedicated goal-based mutual fund or recurring deposit for house purchase.

If the time horizon is 5-7 years, balanced advantage or hybrid mutual funds are suitable.

These offer better returns than FD and lesser risk than pure equity.

Your down payment target should be at least 25% of the house cost.

Do not commit EMI more than 35-40% of your monthly income. Keep it comfortable.

Plan for additional costs like registration, interiors and moving expenses.

Also keep emergency fund ready before taking the house loan.

Step 5: Create Emergency Reserve
You must keep an emergency fund of minimum 4-6 months of expenses.

This fund helps in medical emergency, job loss or delay in loan processing.

Emergency fund can be kept in a liquid mutual fund or high yield savings account.

This reserve should be available before you take a home loan.

Avoid touching your PPF for emergencies. PPF is for long-term retirement planning.

Step 6: Optimise Your PPF Contributions
Rs 1,000 per month in PPF is a good start.

If you get bonus or extra cash in hand, increase this to Rs 5,000 to Rs 10,000 monthly.

PPF gives tax-free returns and is best suited for retirement planning.

This can become your future pension pool when you retire at 60.

Do not use PPF to fund the house. Let it grow silently in background.

Step 7: Build Your Credit Worthiness for Home Loan
Close all high-interest loans as discussed earlier.

Keep all EMIs paid on time without default. This improves your credit score.

Avoid taking new credit cards or loans in short term.

Keep your existing credit usage within 30% of card limit.

When applying for home loan, a clean credit history gets you best rate offers.

With high credit score, your home loan interest rate will be lower.

A lower interest rate reduces EMI burden and total outflow.

Step 8: Estimate Property Budget and EMI Affordability
Do not fix the property budget first. First assess EMI affordability.

With Rs 1 lakh income, EMI should not cross Rs 35,000 to Rs 40,000.

Plan your house cost in a way where down payment is 25% and EMI is within limits.

Take a home loan only when you are mentally and financially ready.

Avoid rushing into real estate out of pressure or comparison.

A house is not an investment. It is a utility and emotional asset.

Invest only after all other goals are aligned properly.

Step 9: Post-Loan Strategy for Wealth Creation
Once the house is purchased, continue mutual fund SIPs.

Have separate portfolios for retirement, emergencies and future goals.

Do not over-leverage your income with too many EMIs.

As income rises, increase SIPs accordingly.

Review portfolio every year with a CFP.

Stay focused on asset allocation. Avoid chasing hot schemes or trends.

Retirement planning should not get delayed due to house buying decision.

Your wife should also be part of the financial planning discussion.

Financial planning is not about products. It is about achieving your life goals.

Final Insights
You have financial awareness. That itself is your biggest strength.

Clearing personal loan is your first and most urgent priority.

Surrendering traditional insurance plan and redirecting to mutual funds can create more wealth.

Regular mutual fund investments through a CFP will give long-term structure to your portfolio.

Buying a house is a big goal. But it should not derail your other life goals.

Make sure you build an emergency fund, protect your health and optimise your taxes.

Stay consistent, plan ahead and follow a disciplined approach.

A 360-degree financial strategy is about balance, not chasing returns.

With proper steps, your home dream can become reality in a few years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi, i can save 1 lakh per month. Planning to buy a house worth 1 crore in 5 years. Can pay Initial amount of 10-20 Lakhs. How should i plan my house purchase? Should i wait more to get without any financial strain? I am 30.
Ans: You are just 30. You are already saving Rs. 1 lakh every month.
You are thinking about buying a Rs. 1 crore house in 5 years.
That itself is a solid start. You have time, income, and savings discipline.

Many people wait too long. Or rush without planning. You are doing neither.
That’s excellent. Now let us shape your home buying decision carefully.

You also said you can make a Rs. 10 to 20 lakh down payment.
The rest may be home loan. You want to avoid stress.
That mindset itself deserves appreciation.

Let’s analyse your options one by one.

? Understand the real cost of buying a house

– The house is worth Rs. 1 crore. But you must pay more.
– Add 7% to 10% for registration, stamp duty, legal, and miscellaneous costs.
– Interiors, fittings, furniture can also cost Rs. 5 to 10 lakhs easily.
– If you plan to live there, think of shifting cost too.

– So, Rs. 1 crore property may require Rs. 1.15 crore in total.
– Always plan with this buffer in mind.

– If you take a home loan of Rs. 80 lakhs, EMI for 20 years at 9% interest can be around Rs. 72,000 to Rs. 75,000 monthly.
– That’s quite close to your entire monthly saving of Rs. 1 lakh.
– Which means, no room for other goals or surprises.

– If rent is saved, you may feel okay.
– But long EMIs with no savings can be risky.
– Health issues, job loss, family needs – anything can upset EMI discipline.

So better to work towards a plan where EMI is below 50% of your current monthly saving.

? Set a target down payment amount

– You are willing to pay Rs. 10–20 lakhs.
– That’s good. But increasing it will help you much more.

– Bigger the down payment, smaller the EMI.
– Smaller EMI means less pressure on lifestyle and savings.

– In next 5 years, you will save Rs. 60 lakhs if you continue Rs. 1 lakh/month.
– Even if you use only Rs. 40–45 lakhs for house purchase, it is a huge help.
– You can use Rs. 35–40 lakhs as down payment and take Rs. 60–65 lakh loan.

– That way, EMI will come down to Rs. 45,000 approx.
– You can still save Rs. 50,000 or more monthly for other goals.
– Or increase your family expenses peacefully without worry.

This approach gives you freedom, peace, and flexibility.
Avoid trying to stretch and buy house with lowest down payment.
Stretching hurts in the long run.

? Choose where to invest this Rs. 1 lakh monthly

– You have a 5-year time frame.
– So, avoid taking big risks.

– Don’t go for high-risk small cap or thematic mutual funds.
– You can’t afford a big fall in the 4th or 5th year.

– Avoid direct stocks or direct mutual funds.
– Regular plans via an MFD and a CFP give better handholding and behaviour coaching.
– Direct funds look cheap, but lack emotional management and periodic rebalancing.
– Most DIY investors take wrong actions in volatile times.
– Advisor-led investing gives better long-term experience and discipline.

– Also avoid index funds.
– Index funds do not offer downside protection.
– Active funds can manage volatility better with cash calls and stock selection.
– Index funds just mirror the market, even during big falls.
– Active funds, especially in large-and-midcap or balanced category, are better suited for medium-term needs.

– Use hybrid mutual funds or large-and-midcap funds through regular plans.
– SIPs of Rs. 1 lakh in 2 to 3 such funds is ideal.
– If Rs. 1 lakh feels too high risk, start with Rs. 80,000 SIP. Keep Rs. 20,000 in RD or debt fund.
– This also gives liquidity and confidence in case of income disruption.

– In the 4th year, start moving funds from equity to low-risk debt options gradually.
– This avoids last-year market shock.
– A Certified Financial Planner can create this glide path for you with the help of your MFD.

? Keep other goals in mind

– Don’t forget other life goals while planning for the house.
– Do you want to marry in next 2–3 years?
– Do you want to buy a car?
– Any family medical support required?
– Do you want to start a business later?

– If yes, then don’t exhaust all your savings in house.
– Keep emergency fund equal to 6 months of expenses.
– Keep Rs. 2–5 lakhs in short-term FD or liquid fund for sudden needs.
– Also plan for term insurance and health insurance properly.

– Don’t think house is the only financial goal.
– Buying a house should not stop you from wealth creation.

? Should you wait longer than 5 years?

– Depends on your personal growth and stability.
– Are you confident about job and income for next 10 years?
– Do you plan to move cities for work or marriage?
– Are you planning any career change or higher education?

– If your life stage has uncertainties, delay home purchase.
– Rent and save aggressively.
– If you stay with parents, save even more and invest smartly.

– Bigger down payment = smaller EMI = lower stress.
– That’s the golden rule.
– If waiting 1 or 2 extra years helps you reduce EMI by Rs. 10,000–15,000 monthly, it's worth it.

– But don’t wait endlessly.
– Have a year-wise action plan with target amounts and allocation.

? Home loan planning tips

– Choose a floating rate loan.
– But be ready for rate changes every few months.
– If EMI is already high, any rise in interest will pinch.
– So don’t go near your maximum EMI capacity.

– Take 20-year loan, but start with higher EMI if possible.
– Keep prepayment option open.
– Use annual bonus to make part-prepayment.

– Avoid stretching loan till retirement.
– Aim to finish loan in 10–15 years if possible.
– Don’t take top-up loans on housing unless absolutely needed.

– Don’t use home loan for buying furniture or car.
– Separate loans make budgeting difficult.

? House as a utility, not as an investment

– Your house is a utility, not an investment.
– It gives comfort, pride, security. Not regular income or high returns.
– You won’t sell your home just because price went up.
– So, don’t treat house like stock or gold.

– Don't buy in areas only for appreciation.
– Buy where you want to live for 10+ years.
– Or at least where your job and social life make sense.

– Property price grows slowly. Selling is slow and costly.
– So plan home for personal use, not for portfolio growth.

? Prepare mentally for ownership

– Ownership brings EMIs, maintenance, society fees, property tax.
– Even empty flat needs repairs and security.
– Tenants don’t come easy always. Rent doesn’t cover EMI always.

– If planning to rent out, calculate rent-to-value ratio carefully.
– Anything below 2.5–3% yield is not attractive.
– Don’t buy because peers are buying.
– Your peace matters more than social image.

– Once house is bought, don’t stop saving.
– Keep SIPs running for retirement, child education, and health corpus.

? Finally

– You are young, smart and serious about your money. That’s a winning combination.
– You already have the habit of saving Rs. 1 lakh monthly. That’s powerful.
– If you wait for 5 years, you will be in a solid position.
– You can choose a good house, pay healthy down payment, and take low EMI.
– That will give freedom and comfort in future.

– Use mutual funds with help of CFP and MFD for investment discipline.
– Avoid chasing returns or shortcuts.
– Choose stability and peace over showing off with big house and bigger loan.

– Think long-term. Don’t let a house purchase ruin your savings habit.
– Combine smart investing with realistic house buying.
– That way, you’ll build wealth and enjoy your home too.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
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My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
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I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

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