Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

43-Year-Old Seeking Advice - Can I Achieve My 3 Crore Goal with My Current Investments?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6592 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2024Hindi
Money

My Age is 43. my monthly salary is 75K. My home loan EMI is Rs. 15000/- per month (Loan Amt: Rs. 20 Lakhs for 20 Yrs) . I have started SIP's of Rs. 12000 per month since 1.5 yrs. My Goal is for 3 Crores in next 10-15 yrs. My SIP fund details are: 1. TATA SMALL CAP FUND- RS. 2000 2. Quant Mid Cap Fund - Rs. 2500 3. Canara Robeco Small Mid Cap Fund - Rs. 1000 4. Nippon India Small Cap Fund - Rs. 2500 5. ICICI Blue chip Fund Growth - Regular - Rs. 2000 6. ICICI Prudential Mutual Fund - Growth - Rs. 2000 Kindly guide to achieve the expected target within the 10-15 yrs. Thank you

Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Position
You are 43 years old with a monthly salary of Rs. 75,000. You have a home loan EMI of Rs. 15,000 per month, which is a significant commitment. Your SIPs of Rs. 12,000 per month, started 1.5 years ago, is a positive step towards wealth creation. Your goal is to accumulate Rs. 3 crores in the next 10 to 15 years. This is achievable with careful planning and disciplined investment.

Reviewing Your SIP Portfolio
Your current SIPs are diversified across various funds. However, it’s important to ensure that they align with your financial goals. Here’s an evaluation of your portfolio:

TATA Small Cap Fund - Rs. 2000:
Small-cap funds have high growth potential but come with higher risk. Given your age, this should be balanced with more stable options.

Quant Mid Cap Fund - Rs. 2500:
Mid-cap funds offer a good balance of growth and risk. This is a suitable choice, but keep an eye on the performance.

Canara Robeco Small Mid Cap Fund - Rs. 1000:
This fund adds further exposure to the mid-cap and small-cap segment. However, you may want to diversify beyond mid and small caps.

Nippon India Small Cap Fund - Rs. 2500:
Like the TATA Small Cap Fund, this carries higher risk. At your age, consider reducing exposure to small caps.

ICICI Blue Chip Fund Growth - Regular - Rs. 2000:
Blue-chip funds are relatively safer, focusing on large, well-established companies. This adds stability to your portfolio.

ICICI Prudential Mutual Fund - Growth - Rs. 2000:
The fund you mentioned likely has a mix of equities and debt. Ensure it aligns with your risk tolerance.

Diversification and Risk Management
Your portfolio is heavily weighted towards small-cap and mid-cap funds. While these funds have the potential for high returns, they also come with significant risk. At 43, it’s crucial to balance your portfolio with funds that offer more stability.

Increase Exposure to Large-Cap Funds:
Large-cap funds provide more stability and are less volatile than small-cap and mid-cap funds. Consider increasing your allocation here.

Consider Balanced or Hybrid Funds:
Balanced funds offer a mix of equity and debt. This can reduce risk while providing steady growth.

Reduce Small-Cap Exposure:
Given your goal and timeframe, you may want to reduce your allocation to small-cap funds. They are more volatile and may not align with your risk tolerance.

Maximising Returns with Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform index funds, especially in the Indian market. Your portfolio already includes actively managed funds, which is a smart move.

Avoid Index Funds:
Index funds simply track the market and may not provide the superior returns you need to meet your Rs. 3 crore goal.

Focus on Fund Performance:
Regularly review the performance of your actively managed funds. If a fund underperforms consistently, consider switching to a better-performing fund.

The Role of SIPs in Achieving Your Goal
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) are a disciplined way to build wealth over time. They help you take advantage of market fluctuations through rupee cost averaging. However, to reach your goal of Rs. 3 crores, you may need to increase your SIP contributions over time.

Increase SIP Contributions:
Consider increasing your SIP amount by 10-15% every year. This will help you accumulate a larger corpus over time.

Step-Up SIPs:
Some mutual funds offer a step-up SIP option, where your contribution increases automatically each year. This is a hassle-free way to boost your investments.

Additional Investments to Strengthen Your Portfolio
While SIPs are a great tool, you may need to explore other investment avenues to meet your Rs. 3 crore target.

Public Provident Fund (PPF):
Consider investing in PPF for its tax-free returns and safety. It’s a good option for long-term wealth building.

National Pension System (NPS):
NPS offers a mix of equity, debt, and government securities. It’s a good option for retirement planning with tax benefits.

Fixed Deposits (FDs) and Debt Funds:
Allocate a portion of your portfolio to debt instruments like FDs or debt mutual funds. This adds stability and reduces overall portfolio risk.

Managing Your Home Loan
Your home loan EMI is Rs. 15,000 per month, which is manageable given your income. However, it’s important to consider how this affects your ability to invest towards your Rs. 3 crore goal.

Prepay Your Loan:
If you receive a bonus or windfall, consider using a portion to prepay your loan. This reduces your interest burden and frees up more money for investments.

Balance EMI and SIPs:
Ensure that your EMI and SIP contributions are balanced. Avoid stretching yourself too thin, as this can lead to financial stress.

Tax Planning and Efficient Investing
Efficient tax planning is crucial to maximize your returns and achieve your financial goals.

Utilize Section 80C:
Ensure that your investments, such as PPF, ELSS, and life insurance premiums, fully utilize the Rs. 1.5 lakh deduction under Section 80C.

Consider Tax-Efficient Funds:
Invest in funds that offer tax efficiency, like ELSS, which provides tax benefits along with potential for growth.

Planning for Retirement
Retirement planning should be a key component of your financial strategy, especially as you approach your 50s.

Set Up a Retirement Fund:
Consider starting a dedicated retirement fund, separate from your other investments. This could include NPS, PPF, or a retirement-specific mutual fund.

Review Your Retirement Corpus:
Assess whether your current savings and investments will be sufficient for your retirement needs. Adjust your savings rate if necessary.

Final Insights
To achieve your Rs. 3 crore goal in 10-15 years, you need a balanced approach. Reevaluate your SIP portfolio, increase your contributions, and consider diversifying into more stable investments. Managing your home loan effectively and optimizing tax benefits will also contribute to your goal. Stay disciplined, review your portfolio regularly, and adjust your strategy as needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Omkeshwar

Omkeshwar Singh  | Answer  |Ask -

Head, Rank MF - Answered on Feb 20, 2020

Money
I am presently doing a monthly SIP of Rs 60,000 in following funds and increase it every year by 10%. Kindly suggest me whether I am on right track or need some changes as my target is to generate at least Rs 12 crore in next 20 years for my retirement & daughter’s marriage. ICICI Bluechip Fund- Rs.3000 ICICI Value Discivery-Rs.3000 ICICI Mid Cap-Rs.2000 ICICI Multicap- Rs.2000 Motilal Oswal Multicap-35 – Rs.7000 Motilal Focussed 25- Rs.2500 Mirae Asset Large Cap-Rs.6000 HDFC Balanced Advantage-Rs.8000 Kotak Standard Multicap-Rs.6000 Franklin Smaller Companies Fund- Rs.6000 Axis Long Term Equity Fund-Rs.15000  Also investing about Rs 4,00,000/annum in NPS, ULIP, LIC & FDs. Name of the Fund Category RankMF Star Rating A. ICICI Bluechip Fund- Rs.3000 Equity - Large Cap Fund: 2 B. ICICI Value Discivery-Rs.3000 Equity - Value Fund: 2 C. ICICI Mid Cap-Rs.2000 Equity - Mid Cap Fund: 2 D. ICICI Multicap- Rs.2000 Equity - Multi Cap Fund: 2 E. MotilalOswal Multicap-35 – Rs.7000 Equity - Multi Cap Fund: 5 F. Motilal Focussed 25- Rs.2500 Equity - Focused Fund 5 G. Mirae Asset Large Cap-Rs.6000 Equity - Large Cap Fund: 4 H. HDFC Balanced Advantage-Rs.8000 Hybrid - Balanced Advantage 4 I. Kotak Standard Multicap-Rs.6000 Equity - Multi Cap Fund: 4 J. Franklin Smaller Companies Fund- Rs.6000 Equity - Small Cap Fund: 1 K. Axis Long Term Equity Fund-Rs.15000 Equity - ELSS 5
Ans: You may continue with 4 and 5 star rated funds; for remaining you may consider from below:

Equity - Value Fund:

  1. Tata Equity Pe Fund - Growth
  2. UTI Value Opportunities Fund - Growth Plan

Equity - Multi Cap Fund:

  1. UTI Equity Fund – Growth
  2. Axis Multicap Fund – Growth

Equity - Large Cap Fund:

  1. UTI Mastershare Unit Scheme - Growth Plan
  2. LIC MF Large Cap Fund-growth

Equity - Mid Cap Fund:

  1. MOSL Midcap 30 Fund – Growth
  2. DSP midcap – growth

Equity - Small Cap Fund:

  1. Kotak Small Cap Fund – Growth
  2. Axis Small cap Fund - Growth

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6592 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 01, 2024

Listen
Money
Hi Sir Sangayya hear from Karnataka my age is 43 from last 3 years I started my SIP details r as below 1 ELSS - 5 sips each 1k 2. Large & mid cap fund - 3 sips 1k each 3. Thematic fund - Franklin India opp - 5k 4. Multi asset allocator - Tata 5k 5.Flexi cap fund - 2 Sips 1k each 6. Dynamic Asset - Edelweiss balanced Adv fund 1k 7. Small cap - Nippon India 1k Total monthly 22k is my investment kindly suggest I want to build my corpus 1cr in another 10 year & how much I have to invest more to achieve Target
Ans: Hello Sangayya, it's great to see your commitment to building your financial future through SIP investments. Let's break down your goal of reaching a corpus of 1 crore in 10 years and assess your current investment approach:

Review Current Investments: Evaluate the performance of your existing SIPs relative to their benchmarks and peers. This will help you understand if adjustments are needed to optimize your portfolio for growth.
Assess Required Monthly Investment: To reach a corpus of 1 crore in 10 years, you'll need to calculate the required monthly investment based on your expected rate of return. This depends on factors like the type of funds you're investing in and prevailing market conditions.
Consider Increasing SIP Amount: If your current monthly investment of 22k isn't sufficient to reach your goal, you may need to increase your SIP amounts or explore additional investment avenues. A Certified Financial Planner can help you determine the optimal investment strategy based on your risk tolerance and financial goals.
Stay Consistent and Patient: Building a substantial corpus takes time and discipline. Stay committed to your investment plan, continue SIPs regularly, and avoid making emotional decisions based on short-term market fluctuations.
Regular Portfolio Review: Periodically review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed. Rebalancing your investments and exploring new opportunities can help you stay on track towards achieving your financial goals.
Remember, while setting ambitious targets is commendable, it's essential to ensure that your investment strategy is realistic and aligned with your risk tolerance and financial capacity. With careful planning and perseverance, you can work towards building a significant corpus over the next decade.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6592 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Sir i am 32 and recently i have started sips in mutual fund for 20k month and i set my goal to achieve 2 crore at my age of 45 will i need to my sip or any other investment can i do to achieve my goal suggestion please.
Ans: Assessing Your Goal and Current Investment Strategy
Your Financial Goal

Objective: Accumulate Rs 2 crore by age 45.
Current Age: 32.
Investment Horizon: 13 years.
Current Investment Strategy

Monthly SIP Amount: Rs 20,000.
Investment Vehicle: Mutual Funds.
Evaluating Your SIP
Return Expectations

Historical Returns: Equity mutual funds typically offer 12-15% annual returns.
Growth Projection: Evaluate if Rs 20,000 monthly can reach Rs 2 crore in 13 years.
Calculating Potential Growth
Scenario Analysis

Assumed Returns:

12% annual return: Approximately Rs 1.02 crore.
15% annual return: Approximately Rs 1.22 crore.
Gap Analysis: There might be a shortfall in achieving Rs 2 crore with Rs 20,000 SIP at these returns.

Recommendations for Achieving Your Goal
Increase SIP Amount

Revised SIP Calculation: Increase your SIP amount to bridge the gap.
Optimal SIP: Calculate based on desired corpus and realistic return rates.
Diversify Investments

Balanced Portfolio: Consider adding debt funds for stability.
Equity Allocation: Keep a higher equity allocation for growth.
Regular Review and Adjustments

Annual Review: Assess your portfolio annually to ensure it’s on track.
Adjust SIP: Increase SIP amount based on income growth and market performance.
Additional Investment Strategies
Lump Sum Investments

Windfall Gains: Invest any bonuses or windfall gains to boost your corpus.
Regular Top-ups: Add lump sum investments periodically.
Alternative Investment Options

Avoid Direct Funds: Regular funds with a certified financial planner offer professional management and guidance.
Avoid Index Funds: Actively managed funds typically outperform in the long run due to expert management.
Risk Management
Insurance Coverage

Life Insurance: Ensure adequate life insurance to cover financial risks.
Health Insurance: Comprehensive health insurance to mitigate medical expenses.
Emergency Fund

Liquidity: Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses.
Final Insights
Commitment: Consistency in SIPs is crucial for long-term wealth creation.
Review and Adjust: Regularly review your portfolio and adjust investments based on performance and goals.
Consultation: Engage with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice and strategy.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6592 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi
Money
My Age is 43. my monthly salary is 75K. My home loan EMI is Rs. 15000/- per month (Loan Amt: Rs. 20 Lakhs for 20 Yrs) . I have started SIP's of Rs. 12000 per month since 1.5 yrs. My Goal is for 3 Crores in next 10-15 yrs. My SIP fund details are: 1. TATA SMALL CAP FUND- RS. 2000 2. Quant Mid Cap Fund - Rs. 2500 3. Canara Robeco Small Mid Cap Fund - Rs. 1000 4. Nippon India Small Cap Fund - Rs. 2500 5. ICICI Blue chip Fund Growth - Regular - Rs. 2000 6. ICICI Prudential Mutual Fund - Growth - Rs. 2000 Kindly guide to achieve the expected target within the 10-15 yrs. Thank you.
Ans: Current Financial Snapshot
At 43 years old, you earn Rs. 75,000 monthly. You have a home loan EMI of Rs. 15,000 per month. Your goal is to accumulate Rs. 3 crores in the next 10-15 years. You’ve been investing Rs. 12,000 per month in SIPs for 1.5 years. Let’s assess how you can achieve this ambitious target.

SIP Portfolio Analysis
Your current SIPs are spread across small-cap, mid-cap, and large-cap funds. Here’s a detailed evaluation of your portfolio:

Small-Cap Exposure: You’ve allocated Rs. 6,500 monthly to small-cap funds. Small-cap funds have the potential for high returns but come with high risk. At 43, it’s essential to strike a balance between growth and stability.

Mid-Cap Allocation: Rs. 2,500 per month is invested in a mid-cap fund. Mid-cap funds are a good mix of growth and risk, offering potential returns while being slightly less volatile than small-cap funds.

Large-Cap Focus: Rs. 2,000 per month is in a large-cap fund. Large-cap funds are more stable, investing in well-established companies. This provides a solid foundation for your portfolio.

Balanced Fund: Your investment in a fund that likely balances equity and debt adds some stability to your portfolio. This is a wise choice for risk management.

Enhancing Portfolio Diversification
Your current SIPs are heavily weighted towards small-cap funds, which are volatile. Diversifying your portfolio will reduce risk and increase the likelihood of reaching your Rs. 3 crore goal.

Increase Large-Cap Allocation: Large-cap funds offer more stability and consistent returns. Consider increasing your monthly SIP contribution to large-cap funds. This will add balance to your portfolio and reduce risk.

Introduce Balanced or Hybrid Funds: Balanced funds invest in both equity and debt. They provide growth potential while reducing volatility. Adding such funds can help stabilize your portfolio.

Reduce Small-Cap Exposure: While small-cap funds have high growth potential, they are also highly volatile. Given your age and goals, consider reducing your small-cap exposure.

Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds
Actively managed funds, which your portfolio consists of, can outperform index funds, especially in the Indian market. Here’s why actively managed funds are a better choice:

Higher Potential Returns: Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market. This can result in higher returns compared to index funds.

Professional Management: These funds are managed by professionals who actively make investment decisions based on market conditions. This increases the chances of capitalizing on market opportunities.

Avoid Index Funds: Index funds simply track the market and may not provide the returns you need to meet your Rs. 3 crore goal. The lack of active management in index funds can be a disadvantage in a dynamic market like India.

The Importance of Regular Funds
Investing through regular funds via a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers several benefits. Here’s why it might be better than direct funds:

Expert Guidance: A CFP can provide tailored advice based on your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions. This helps in optimizing your portfolio.

Risk Management: CFPs help in balancing risk by suggesting appropriate asset allocation. This ensures your investments align with your risk appetite.

Periodic Reviews: Regular funds managed through a CFP are reviewed periodically. This helps in making necessary adjustments based on market conditions or changes in your financial goals.

Increasing SIP Contributions
To achieve your Rs. 3 crore goal, consider increasing your SIP contributions. Here’s why and how you should do it:

Annual Increase: Consider increasing your SIPs by 10-15% annually. This will help you accumulate a larger corpus over time. An annual step-up in your SIPs aligns with potential salary increments.

Step-Up SIPs: Some mutual funds offer a step-up SIP option. This feature allows your SIP contribution to increase automatically each year. This is a convenient way to boost your investments without needing to manually adjust your SIP amount.

Additional Investments: Besides increasing SIPs, consider making lump sum investments whenever you have surplus funds. This will further enhance your portfolio’s growth potential.

Managing Home Loan and Investments
Your home loan EMI of Rs. 15,000 is manageable but should be carefully balanced with your investment commitments.

Loan Prepayment: If you receive any bonuses or windfalls, consider using a portion to prepay your loan. This will reduce your interest burden and free up more money for investments.

EMI and SIP Balance: Ensure that your EMI and SIP contributions are well balanced. Don’t stretch yourself too thin. It’s important to maintain a healthy cash flow to manage both commitments comfortably.

Tax Planning and Wealth Accumulation
Effective tax planning is crucial for maximizing your returns and reaching your Rs. 3 crore goal. Here’s how you can optimize tax benefits:

Utilize Section 80C: Ensure that your investments like PPF, ELSS, and life insurance premiums fully utilize the Rs. 1.5 lakh deduction under Section 80C. This will reduce your taxable income and increase your savings.

Tax-Efficient Funds: Consider investing in tax-efficient funds such as ELSS, which provides tax benefits along with growth potential. This will enhance your overall returns.

Retirement Planning
As you approach your 50s, retirement planning becomes increasingly important. Here’s how to ensure you’re on track:

Dedicated Retirement Fund: Consider setting up a separate retirement fund. This could include NPS, PPF, or a retirement-specific mutual fund. These instruments offer a good mix of equity and debt, which is ideal for long-term growth and stability.

Review Retirement Goals: Regularly assess your retirement corpus to ensure it aligns with your future needs. Adjust your savings rate if necessary to meet your retirement goals.

Final Insights
Achieving a Rs. 3 crore corpus in 10-15 years requires a balanced and disciplined approach. Start by diversifying your SIP portfolio, increasing your SIP contributions, and considering additional investments. Manage your home loan effectively and optimize your tax planning to maximize savings. Regularly review and adjust your financial strategy as needed. With the right approach, your goal is well within reach.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |396 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 12, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello Sir, I'm 44 years of age and want to plan for creating a corpus of 5 Cr by age of 60. I have 40L lying in savings which I want to invest in MFs and start with Monthly SIP as well apart from this. At 60 I'm looking to start a SWP, in regards to this could you please suggest which MFs should I invest in to achieve this goal and how should I diversify SIP and lumpsum investments? Thank you!!
Ans: Hello;

Please deploy the 40 L staggered over 6 months in pure equity mutual funds.

Also start a monthly sip of 40 K for 16 years.

You may allocate sip and lumpsum as follows:
1. Flexicap type mutual fund for eg. PPFAS flexicap fund[G] (25%)

2. Large and Midcap type mutual fund for eg. Kotak equity opportunities fund[G] (25%)

3. Midcap type mutual fund for eg. Nippon India Growth fund[G] (25%)

4. Smallcap type mutual fund for eg SBI small cap fund [G] (12.5%)

5. Thematic type mutual fund for eg Tata Digital fund[G] (12.5%)

Funds recommended are in top quartile in terms of performance in their respective category.

Both sip and lumpsum investments will yield you a corpus of 5 Cr+, 16 years from now, as desired.

After 55 you need to transfer your gains to liquid or ultra short duration debt funds to protect it against market volatility.

After retirement you move your corpus to conservative hybrid debt type mutual fund for eg. Kotak debt hybrid fund and do an SWP at the rate of 3% annually you may expect a monthly income of 1.25 L(pre-tax).

Happy Investing!!

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |352 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Relationship
Hello, I m 21 female I m in a long distance relationship with 32 year male.this person was behind me and always asked me to give him a chance to prove his love for me. At that period i was afaird of relationships as I didn't have courage to go against wish of my parents as i know they wolud never agree for love marriage,so that is fir sure i'll do arrange Marriage. All these things have been explained by my side to this person.He gad feelings for me thats what he showed to me even I felt a connection towards him, so we decided let's not commit anything anout marraige as we both wee not sure about these thing. After some time i realised these person has already made his mind ki he'll date me and he wanted to have everything that an relationship has but he will not marry me.But i m completely in love with.Even i told him about it ki I can't share him n won't be able to see him.with someone else.i just can't imagine myself without him. I fought with him even begged and cried but he always defend his self sayi g i told already ki he loves me and will keep loving me but will not marry me . He vists me after 6-9 months interval every time he visuts me he needs to have physical relationship. I don't know whether I m right or wrong but i feel like I m being used by him. I tried several time to end this relationship but i end up chasing him.Plz help me,guide me
Ans: Dear Rutuja,
If you have the slightest feeling that he doesn't share the same feelings for you as you do for him, or that he has wrong intentions, you have every right to end the relationship. In fact, that would be the right thing to do. I understand that it is difficult to break up with someone you love, but does he love you? Don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and does not make you feel as if you are being used?

Have a clear conversation with him- address all your concerns. If he still maintains his stand of not getting married to you, then let him know that you are not on the same page as him. Remember, for a relationship to work, your future goals need to align.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |352 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2024
Relationship
I am a girl who met a muy in a friendly chat app and been talking to him through text and calls since the past 6 months...he told me about his past 3 breakups which were online too and he didnt meet those girls.He told he loved my nature and loves me madly n cannot live without me..i was moving with him as a friend initially,but feeling turned into love gradually..he lied to me about his name too n i found many a times flirting and chatting with other girls.Still i have forgiven as he is my first love. Recently,I met with an accident and was in a serious condition ..my phone was with my relative and she told him about my condition when he put a message to me.He even asked my relatives about the hospital address n my relative has given it. He didn't turn up and was chatting online with other girls till early morning n continued later too by chatting n cracking jokes when i was in such a serious condition.A friend of mine told me about this. When i confronted him after my discharge,he told my relative didnt give the response which is a lie ..as the proof chatting with other girls is there..n later he didnt even text to know how am i for 2days.. I am an emotional girl ,attaching n detaching is a bit difficult thing...i am broken ..when he didnt love me ..what made him use the words like he cannot live without me n will marry me. He asked for a chance,i am fed up of his lies..i made him introduce to my parents also..When i am so true to him..why does he need to chat n flirt with other girls?..even after knowing my condition instead of meeting me..he was chatting.. We still didnt meet,thought of meeting n met with an accident Does he deserve an other chance or should i leave him,please suggest mam.Why is he doing so?.I even helped him small amounts financially too when he asked for.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very concerned about the last part of your question where you mentioned helping him financially. We ask all our dating app users not to discuss money let alone involve in a financial transaction with an online match. It gives me the impression that he might have been pursuing the relationship with you for monetary benefits; I am not saying that with surety but there is always a chance of that happening.

And now let's address your main concern- if you should give him another chance. I cannot decide that for you but let me ask you one thing- do you think you deserve to be with a person who did not care that you were in a critical condition and continued flirting with others? Even if we keep your accident aside, do you think it is a healthy relationship where one partner keeps flirting with people outside the relationship? I don't think so.

Please make the right choice and don't focus on momentary happiness, think about how this relationship will affect your future.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x