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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Jothimeena Question by Jothimeena on Jun 15, 2024Hindi
Money

I have 7lakhs to invest , i want to invest in mutual funds for 3 years . should I invest in sip or lumpsum, if lumpsum can i invest now

Ans: It’s great to see you’re considering investing Rs. 7 lakhs in mutual funds for a 3-year horizon. Let’s explore the best approach for your investment to maximize returns while managing risk effectively.

Understanding Your Investment Goals and Time Horizon
Investing in mutual funds for three years requires a strategic approach to balance returns and risk. Here’s a step-by-step plan to help you make an informed decision:

Investment Goal:

Clarify your investment objective. Are you saving for a specific goal like a vacation, or are you looking to grow your wealth generally?
Time Horizon:

With a 3-year investment horizon, you need to choose funds that align with this relatively short-term period. This timeframe typically favors a balanced approach between risk and return.
Risk Tolerance:

Assess your risk tolerance. Can you handle market fluctuations, or do you prefer more stability even if it means lower returns?
SIP vs. Lump Sum: Which is Better for You?
You have Rs. 7 lakhs to invest, and you’re wondering whether to invest it all at once (lump sum) or spread it over time through a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP). Let’s delve into the pros and cons of each approach:

Investing via Lump Sum
Pros:

Immediate Market Exposure:
You invest all Rs. 7 lakhs at once, gaining full exposure to the market from day one. This can be advantageous if the market is poised for growth.
Potential for Higher Returns:
If the market performs well, a lump sum investment can generate significant returns over three years.
Convenience:
One-time investment is simple and hassle-free. You don’t have to track monthly payments or worry about maintaining liquidity.
Cons:

Market Timing Risk:
Investing a lump sum requires you to predict market conditions. If the market drops soon after your investment, you may face immediate losses.
Emotional Stress:
Seeing your investment fluctuate significantly can be stressful if you are not accustomed to market volatility.
Investing via SIP
Pros:

Rupee Cost Averaging:
SIPs spread your investment over time, buying units at different prices. This averages out the cost, reducing the impact of market volatility.
Disciplined Investing:
SIPs encourage regular investing, fostering a disciplined approach without worrying about market timing.
Lower Risk of Market Timing:
Since you invest gradually, the impact of short-term market fluctuations is minimized.
Cons:

Opportunity Cost:
If the market rises steadily, a SIP might generate lower returns compared to a lump sum investment.
Delayed Full Exposure:
Your money is exposed to the market gradually, which means you might miss out on gains if the market rises quickly after your initial investment.
Should You Invest in Lump Sum Now?
Considering your 3-year investment horizon, the decision to invest a lump sum or via SIP should align with your risk tolerance and market outlook. Here’s a nuanced view:

Current Market Conditions:

If the market is relatively stable or expected to rise, a lump sum investment can be beneficial. However, predicting market conditions accurately is challenging.
Risk Appetite:

If you have a high risk tolerance and can withstand short-term market volatility, a lump sum investment might suit you better.
Diversification Strategy:

You can mitigate risks by diversifying your lump sum investment across different mutual fund categories, such as equity, debt, and hybrid funds.
Choosing the Right Mutual Funds
Selecting the right mutual funds is crucial for achieving your investment goals within a 3-year period. Here’s how you can approach this:

Balanced or Hybrid Funds:

These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt, providing a balance between growth and stability. They are ideal for a 3-year horizon.
Short-Term Debt Funds:

These funds invest in fixed-income securities with short maturities, offering lower risk and stable returns. They are suitable if you prefer more stability.
Aggressive Hybrid Funds:

If you’re willing to take on a bit more risk for potentially higher returns, aggressive hybrid funds with a higher equity component can be considered.
Equity Funds:

If you have a high risk tolerance, you could allocate a portion to equity funds. Choose large-cap or diversified funds to balance risk and reward.
Creating a Diversified Portfolio
A diversified portfolio reduces risk and enhances potential returns. Here’s a suggested allocation for your Rs. 7 lakhs based on a balanced approach:

Equity Funds (40%):

Allocate Rs. 2.8 lakhs to large-cap or diversified equity funds. These funds offer growth potential with relatively lower volatility compared to mid-cap or small-cap funds.
Balanced or Hybrid Funds (30%):

Invest Rs. 2.1 lakhs in balanced or hybrid funds. These funds provide a mix of equity and debt, offering a balance of growth and income.
Short-Term Debt Funds (30%):

Place Rs. 2.1 lakhs in short-term debt funds. These funds provide stability and lower risk, making them suitable for your 3-year timeframe.
Timing Your Lump Sum Investment
If you decide on a lump sum investment, consider the following strategies to manage market risk:

Staggered Investment:

Instead of investing all Rs. 7 lakhs at once, consider splitting it into two or three tranches over a few months. This approach reduces the risk of investing at a market peak.
Market Analysis:

Keep an eye on market trends and economic indicators. Investing during a market dip can enhance your potential returns.
Consultation with a Certified Financial Planner:

Discuss your investment plan with a Certified Financial Planner to get personalized advice based on market conditions and your financial goals.
Evaluating Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds
While index funds are popular, actively managed funds might be more suitable for your investment horizon. Here’s why:

Actively Managed Funds:

These funds aim to outperform the market by selecting high-potential stocks. Skilled fund managers can provide better returns, especially in a volatile market.
Index Funds:

Index funds replicate market indices and offer market-matching returns. They are lower in cost but might not provide the alpha that actively managed funds can offer in the short term.
Advantages of Actively Managed Funds:

Flexibility in stock selection, potential for higher returns, and ability to adapt to market changes make actively managed funds a good choice for a 3-year horizon.
Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Direct funds might seem attractive due to lower expense ratios, but regular funds offer significant benefits, especially when investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials:

Regular Funds:

Investing through an MFD with CFP credentials ensures you get professional advice, ongoing support, and guidance tailored to your financial goals.
Direct Funds:

Direct funds have lower costs but require you to handle all aspects of investment management, which can be complex and time-consuming.
Benefits of Regular Funds:

Access to expert advice, personalized investment strategies, and regular portfolio reviews can outweigh the slightly higher costs of regular funds.
Monitoring and Adjusting Your Investments
Investing is not a one-time activity; it requires regular monitoring and adjustments to stay aligned with your goals. Here’s how to manage your investments effectively:

Periodic Reviews:

Review your portfolio every six months to ensure it’s on track to meet your goals. Assess fund performance and market conditions regularly.
Rebalancing:

Rebalance your portfolio if there are significant changes in market conditions or your personal financial situation. This keeps your asset allocation in line with your objectives.
Stay Informed:

Stay updated on market trends and economic factors that could impact your investments. Being informed helps you make timely and informed decisions.
Preparing for Potential Market Volatility
Markets can be unpredictable, especially over a 3-year horizon. Here’s how to prepare and manage potential volatility:

Stay Calm and Patient:

Short-term market fluctuations are normal. Focus on your long-term goals and avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market movements.
Maintain a Balanced Approach:

A diversified portfolio with a mix of equity and debt can cushion against market volatility. This balance reduces the impact of downturns.
Emergency Fund:

Ensure you have an emergency fund separate from your investment portfolio. This provides financial security without needing to liquidate investments during market downturns.
Final Insights
Investing Rs. 7 lakhs for three years in mutual funds requires a strategic approach. Both SIP and lump sum have their benefits and risks. Here’s a summary of your options and considerations:

Lump Sum Investment:

Offers immediate market exposure and potential for higher returns. Manage market timing risk through staggered investments or strategic timing.
SIP Investment:

Provides rupee cost averaging and reduces market timing risk. Suitable if you prefer a disciplined, gradual approach to investing.
Portfolio Diversification:

Allocate your investment across equity, balanced, and debt funds to balance growth and stability. A diversified portfolio reduces risk and enhances potential returns.
Actively Managed Funds:

Actively managed funds can offer better returns over a 3-year period compared to index funds. They provide flexibility and professional management to navigate market volatility.
Regular Funds with Professional Guidance:

Investing in regular funds through an MFD with CFP credentials gives you access to expert advice and personalized strategies, ensuring your investments align with your goals.
Regular Monitoring and Adjustments:

Monitor your portfolio periodically and adjust as needed to stay aligned with your financial objectives. Regular reviews ensure your investments remain on track.
Remember, investing is a journey, and it’s important to stay focused on your goals while being adaptable to market changes. If you have any more questions or need further guidance, feel free to reach out. Happy investing!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Hi sir I am 36 old men. I am planning to invest in MF can you suggest weather I invest in lumpsum or sip. For lumpsum I can offerd up to 25L. and for SIP 20000
Ans: Investing in mutual funds is a wise decision for long-term growth. Your willingness to invest a significant amount both as a lump sum and through SIPs shows your commitment to building wealth.

Lump Sum Investment vs. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Both lump sum investments and SIPs have their advantages and considerations. Let's evaluate them to help you make an informed decision.

Lump Sum Investment
Advantages:

Immediate Exposure: Investing ?25 lakhs as a lump sum gives immediate exposure to the market.
Potential for Higher Returns: In a rising market, a lump sum investment can generate higher returns compared to phased investments.
Convenience: It is a one-time investment, saving you from the hassle of regular contributions.
Considerations:

Market Timing Risk: Investing a large amount at once exposes you to the risk of market volatility. If the market declines soon after your investment, it can significantly impact your returns.
Emotional Stress: A lump sum investment can be stressful, especially if market fluctuations occur shortly after investing.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Advantages:

Rupee Cost Averaging: SIPs help in averaging the purchase cost over time, reducing the impact of market volatility. You buy more units when prices are low and fewer when prices are high.
Disciplined Investing: SIPs encourage regular investing, promoting financial discipline and long-term wealth accumulation.
Reduced Emotional Stress: Smaller, regular investments are less stressful and more manageable compared to a large lump sum investment.
Considerations:

Gradual Exposure: SIPs provide gradual market exposure, which may result in lower returns during a prolonged bull market compared to a lump sum investment.
Commitment: SIPs require a long-term commitment to see significant results.
Recommended Strategy: Combining Both
To optimize your investment, consider combining lump sum and SIP strategies. This approach leverages the advantages of both methods while mitigating their respective risks.

1. Initial Lump Sum Investment:

Invest a portion of your ?25 lakhs as a lump sum in diversified mutual funds.
Choose funds based on your risk tolerance and financial goals. Equity-oriented hybrid funds and balanced advantage funds are good options for moderate risk.
This gives immediate market exposure and potential for growth.
2. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

Start an SIP with ?20,000 per month.
Invest in a mix of equity funds, balanced funds, and debt funds to diversify your portfolio.
SIPs will help in rupee cost averaging and maintaining investment discipline.
Diversifying Your Investments
Equity-Oriented Hybrid Funds:

These funds invest in a mix of equities and debt, offering balanced growth and stability.
Actively managed funds provide the advantage of professional management and strategic asset allocation.
Balanced Advantage Funds:

These funds dynamically adjust the allocation between equity and debt based on market conditions.
They offer a balanced risk-reward ratio, making them suitable for medium-term goals.
Monitoring and Review
Regular Portfolio Review:

Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure it aligns with your financial goals and market conditions.
Rebalance your portfolio if needed to maintain the desired asset allocation.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP):

Engage a CFP for personalized advice and ongoing support.
A CFP can help optimize your portfolio, manage risks, and ensure your investments are on track to meet your goals.
Final Thoughts
Combining lump sum and SIP investments is an effective strategy to leverage the benefits of both methods. This approach provides immediate market exposure and disciplined investing. Regularly review your portfolio and seek professional advice to ensure your investments align with your goals and risk tolerance. Your proactive approach and commitment to investing will help you achieve financial growth and stability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Moneywize

Moneywize   |174 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Aug 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 24, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
How to identify the right time to invest in mutual fund with a lump sum of around Rs 2 lakh before starting a SIP? I am assuming I would stay invested for 10-12 years. Suggest best fund with a moderate to high risk.
Ans: Identifying the right time to invest in mutual funds with a lump sum can be challenging since market timing is difficult to predict. Here are some strategies to guide your decision:

1. Market Conditions:

• Market Correction: If markets are in a correction or downtrend, it can be a good time to invest, as you are entering at a relatively lower level.
• Avoid Market Peaks: Try to avoid investing lump sums when the market is at all-time highs.

2. Rupee Cost Averaging:

• Phased Investment: If you are unsure about the timing, split your Rs 2 lakh into smaller chunks and invest systematically over a few months to average out market volatility.

3. Economic Outlook:

• Monitor global and domestic economic indicators (GDP growth, inflation rates, central bank policies) to assess potential market trends.

4. Asset Allocation:

• Ensure you have a balanced portfolio that aligns with your risk tolerance and goals. Even if you are investing in a moderate to high-risk fund, diversify to manage risk.

Recommended Funds for Moderate to High Risk (with 10-12 years horizon):

• Axis Bluechip Fund - Large-cap focus, relatively stable.
• Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund - Large- and mid-cap fund with high growth potential.
• Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund - Diversified across market caps and international stocks, provides a global hedge.
• SBI Focused Equity Fund - Focuses on a concentrated portfolio of quality stocks.
• ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund - Hybrid fund with a mix of equity and debt, providing a balance of risk and return.

For the lump sum investment, consider investing in one of the funds above.

Note: It's important to assess the fund's performance, expense ratio, and fund manager's experience before making an investment decision.

Remember: Investing in mutual funds involves risks. Always do your due diligence or seek professional advice before investing in mutual funds.

..Read more

Latest Questions
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

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I am 50 years old, how much proportion should I allocate in Debt and Equity mutual funds. I am investing in mutual funds only. My 43 L portfolio has 37 L equity and 6 Lak debt.
Ans: Balancing your portfolio between equity and debt is critical at this stage. A 50-year-old investor should aim for a safer portfolio while ensuring reasonable growth. Since you’re already investing in mutual funds, fine-tuning your allocation can optimise returns and reduce risk.

Let’s assess your portfolio in detail and identify actionable steps for an optimal balance.

Evaluating Your Current Portfolio
Your current allocation includes:

Rs 37 lakh in equity: Around 86% of your total portfolio.
Rs 6 lakh in debt: About 14% of your total portfolio.
This equity-heavy portfolio is suitable for younger investors. At 50, you may need to rebalance to reduce volatility while retaining growth.

Recommended Allocation Strategy
A general rule is the "100 minus age" approach. However, personal goals, risk tolerance, and financial stability should guide decisions. For a 50-year-old:

Equity: 50% to 60% of the portfolio. This ensures growth and combats inflation.
Debt: 40% to 50%. This ensures stability and predictable returns.
You can adjust within this range based on personal preferences and financial objectives.

Steps to Rebalance Your Portfolio
To align your portfolio, consider these steps:

Gradually reduce equity exposure: Shift some equity investments to debt. Do this systematically over months to avoid timing risks.
Increase debt mutual funds allocation: Consider short-duration or dynamic bond funds for liquidity and moderate returns.
Use hybrid mutual funds: Balanced advantage funds can offer a mix of equity and debt with automatic rebalancing.
Why a Balanced Allocation Is Crucial
Equity: This provides growth potential to counter inflation. It supports long-term financial goals like retirement planning.
Debt: This offers stability and acts as a buffer against market downturns. It ensures liquidity for unexpected expenses.
Avoid Over-Exposure to Equity
While equity delivers higher returns, excessive exposure can increase portfolio risk. A balanced allocation shields you during market corrections.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform the market due to professional expertise. They adjust portfolios based on market trends and opportunities.

Disadvantages of Index Funds:

They lack active monitoring during volatile periods.
They mimic the index, limiting scope for higher returns.
Their fixed composition may underperform in certain market cycles.
For long-term growth, actively managed funds offer better risk-adjusted returns.

Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
Guidance: Regular funds come with expert advice from an MFD with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential.
Portfolio Monitoring: They help align your investments with changing market conditions.
Support: MFDs can guide in tax planning and rebalancing.
Direct funds, while cheaper, may lead to uninformed decisions and missed opportunities.

Tax Efficiency in Your Portfolio
Understanding new mutual fund taxation rules is essential:

Equity funds: LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. STCG is taxed at 20%.
Debt funds: Gains are taxed as per your income slab.
Consider tax implications before rebalancing to avoid unnecessary liabilities.

Maintaining Liquidity
At this stage, maintaining a portion of your portfolio in liquid funds is prudent. It helps meet short-term goals or emergencies without disturbing long-term investments.

Aligning with Retirement Goals
Your portfolio should focus on generating a steady post-retirement income. Here’s how:

Allocate more to debt as you approach retirement.
Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) for regular income during retirement.
Retain a small equity portion to combat inflation even post-retirement.
Creating a Contingency Fund
Set aside a separate fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. Use liquid or ultra-short-term debt funds for this.

Monitoring and Reviewing Your Portfolio
Review your portfolio every 6 months.
Rebalance based on market conditions and life changes.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner for adjustments aligned with your goals.
Avoid Common Investment Pitfalls
Chasing high returns: Avoid concentrating on high-risk funds at this stage.
Over-diversification: Stick to a manageable number of funds to track performance easily.
Ignoring inflation: Ensure your portfolio grows faster than inflation rates.
Building a Long-Term Perspective
Focus on wealth preservation alongside growth.
Maintain discipline in investing. Avoid reacting impulsively to market fluctuations.
Stay informed about economic and market trends affecting mutual fund performance.
Final Insights
Balancing equity and debt is essential for stability and growth in your portfolio. A 50%-60% equity and 40%-50% debt allocation aligns with your age and goals. Active management and regular reviews will help optimise returns and minimise risks.

Transitioning gradually ensures minimal disruption to your portfolio’s growth. Focus on creating a robust strategy to secure your financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Money
One time investment in mutual fund in which fund
Ans: To decide on a one-time investment, understanding your financial goals is vital. Knowing the purpose of your investment ensures better alignment with your expectations. Your goals could be wealth creation, retirement planning, or funding a specific future expense like a child's education or marriage.

Assessing Risk Tolerance
Before choosing any investment, assess your risk tolerance. High-risk options offer better returns but can fluctuate more. If you are a conservative investor, you might prefer stability over high returns. Moderately aggressive investors balance growth and risk well.

Benefits of Actively Managed Mutual Funds
Actively managed mutual funds are an excellent choice for one-time investments. Professional fund managers make critical investment decisions based on market conditions. These funds can outperform market indices over the long term due to their strategic asset allocation.

They adapt well to market dynamics, offering higher growth potential than passive funds. Investors benefit from expertise and insights that help mitigate risks during market downturns.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds simply track market indices and lack active management. They offer no scope for market-beating returns. While their fees are lower, this comes at the cost of performance. In actively managed funds, expert decision-making can lead to better results.

Investors relying solely on index funds may miss opportunities to earn superior returns. Active funds also better suit those aiming for long-term wealth accumulation with reduced volatility.

The Issue with Direct Funds
Direct funds may have lower costs but require greater knowledge and time. Without professional advice, managing such investments can be overwhelming. Regular funds, managed through Certified Financial Planners, ensure guidance tailored to your needs.

A Certified Financial Planner monitors your portfolio’s performance, suggesting timely corrections. This professional approach ensures that your investment aligns with your financial goals efficiently.

Choosing the Right Mutual Fund Category
Select funds based on your investment horizon and risk appetite. Equity mutual funds work well for long-term goals as they provide higher growth potential. However, they carry higher volatility and are suitable only for investors with a longer time horizon.

For medium-term goals, balanced or hybrid funds are better suited. These combine equity and debt to balance risk and returns. Short-term goals are better addressed with debt funds, offering lower returns with minimal risk.

Importance of Diversification
Diversifying your investment reduces the risk of losses. It spreads your money across various sectors, ensuring market fluctuations impact your investment less. Avoid investing all funds in a single category, ensuring a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds.

Taxation Rules for Mutual Funds
Understand the tax implications before investing. For equity funds, long-term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%. For debt funds, all gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Consider tax-saving options if your goal aligns with reducing tax liabilities. While tax efficiency matters, it should not override your primary objective of wealth creation.

Importance of Lump Sum Timing
Market timing matters for one-time investments. Investing during a market correction or when valuations are reasonable ensures better growth. A Certified Financial Planner can guide you to enter the market at the right time for better results.

Monitoring and Reviewing Your Investment
A one-time investment is not set and forget. Regular reviews ensure the investment aligns with your goals. Markets evolve, and so should your portfolio. Make changes as required with the guidance of a professional.

The Role of Emergency Funds
Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund before making a one-time investment. This fund covers unforeseen expenses, preventing you from withdrawing long-term investments prematurely. Keep at least 6-12 months' expenses aside for emergencies.

Setting Realistic Expectations
Investments are subject to market risks, and returns are not guaranteed. Patience and a long-term approach yield better results. Understand the product before investing, ensuring it meets your expectations and financial objectives.

Final Insights
A one-time mutual fund investment can help achieve your financial goals effectively. However, aligning this investment with your risk tolerance and objectives is key. Actively managed funds, combined with professional advice, offer the best value for your money.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1328 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I 25M) have been in a Long Distance Emotional Relationship with a College Friend (25F) whom I'd known since more than 3 years. Although, neither of us has explicitly confessed to each other, but we both seemed to have strong Feelings for each other. We both have shared a lot of personal matters about ourselves, with each other (which are unknown to even some of our Closest Friends). We both share similar Values & Outlook towards various aspects of Life (including our Long Term Career Goals). We both used to chat on WhatsApp almost everyday, sharing our experiences, opinions, knowledge etc. I used to Flirt with her by writing Romantic Poetry for her, once she'd also confessed that she's falling for me. But what has stopped us both from proposing Love to one another is the difference in our Family Background (I'm from a Telugu Speaking Hindu Brahmin Family & she's from a Malayali Catholic Christian Family, but we both studied together from a College in Gujarat). As of now, we both are in different States Studying/Working in different fields. But both of us have been preparing for UPSC, which is our ultimate Career Goal & we also used to discuss the Subject matter & Preparation Plans, helping out each other. Presently, the Problem is that She seems to have Ghosted me (since a Month) citing a silly reason that her Phone got Damaged (she'd said something like this even in 2021), but I see her active on various Social Media Platforms, regularly. I have tried reaching out to her through all the Social Media Platforms & have even called her up, but there's no Response at all, from her side. I am not able to understand why she has Ghosted me like this, atleast she could have honestly told me the actual Reason. Sometimes, I feel guilty that I must have been a distraction to her Studies. But I have very strong Feelings for her, which I'd never felt for any other Girl & I believe that we can have a Future together. We both could continue complementing each other in the course of UPSC Preparation & acting as each other's motivation & emotional support (as seen in the Movie "12th Fail"). And if we both successfully clear UPSC together, we could try to convince our Parents for Marriage (these are not just my Fantasies, even she had indirectly expressed her interest in sharing her Future Life with me). Now, I don't understand what to do? How to reach out to her & sort out things between us? If not reconciliation, I believe that I deserve atleast a definite closure with Honest communication. Though, I am going along with my UPSC Preparation, every now & then, I can't Help thinking of her, I'm feeling Lonely, her Emotional & Intellectual Company would be a great Help in the course of my Preparation. She's always been a Positive Motivation not a Distraction in my Career Path. Please advise me, how do I get back at her, presently, she's working in a different State, so reaching out to meet her in person is not feasible & I have unsuccessfully tried out all other means of Communication. What should I do now? I want to hear from her again, I'd feel satisfied even if she breaks it up with me, honestly stating the Reason. I am feeling restless due to this Uncertainty. Should I persistently keep trying to reach out to her, through different means, without giving up on her, until she Responds, Hoping that she'd appreciate my consistent efforts & reconsider the Relationship with me? Or would you advise any other approach, which is better, according to you?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You really need to STOP putting yourself through this.
The reason for your restless state is the dependency that you have been having on her, chats with her, the emotional base with her knowing well enough that there has been no prior agreement on commitment in this relationship. But that's the way the heart is, no?
So, there has been freedom with both of you to go away when you please, to see other people etc...

You have possibly been more into this connection that she has been into it and this has led to expectations from your end.
Go silent and maybe this will give her an idea of missing you if she truly has feelings for you. When you do this, you give yourself some breathing space as well on things that need your focus and also will also reveal if she really wants you as a part of her life. This space is difficult but really important.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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