Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Should I invest in a child insurance plan for my children's education?

Moneywize

Moneywize   |174 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Sep 27, 2024

MoneyWize helps you make smart investment choices.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 26, 2024Hindi
Money

I am 40 lives in Madurai with two children aged 12 and 9. I have a term insurance plan, but I’m wondering if I should invest in a child insurance plan for my kids' future education. Is it worth considering, or should I stick with mutual funds?

Ans: When planning for your children’s future, especially their education, it’s natural to consider different investment options that provide financial security. You mentioned that you already have a term insurance plan, which is an excellent foundation for life coverage. Now, you're contemplating whether to invest in a child insurance plan or stick with mutual funds for your children’s education.
Both options come with their advantages and considerations, but they serve different purposes and operate on different financial principles.

1. Understanding Child Insurance Plans
Child insurance plans are a combination of insurance and investment. They are designed to secure your child's future in case of your untimely demise while also offering a financial corpus for education or other major milestones. Here’s a breakdown of their key features:

• Life Coverage: In the event of the parent’s death, the insurance component of the child plan ensures that a lump sum is paid to the child or the nominee. Some plans also waive off future premiums, ensuring the plan continues and the investment portion keeps growing.
• Maturity Benefits: Child insurance plans provide maturity benefits, where a lump sum amount is paid when the policy matures. This is typically aligned with the child reaching adulthood, making it a useful fund for higher education or marriage.
• Premium Payments: Most child plans require regular premium payments, which can be annual, semi-annual, or monthly. Some plans allow partial withdrawals for education or emergencies without breaking the plan.
• Risk Management: Since these are primarily insurance products, they have a lower risk factor than equity mutual funds. However, this also means that the returns may not be as high as those generated by more market-driven instruments like equity funds.

2. Pros and Cons of Child Insurance Plans

Pros:

• Financial Security: The primary advantage of child insurance plans is the built-in life coverage. In the unfortunate event of the parent’s demise, the child’s education and future are safeguarded.
• Guaranteed Payout: Child insurance plans offer guaranteed payouts either at maturity or as a death benefit, providing a predictable source of funds for education.
• Premium Waiver: Many plans come with a premium waiver in case of death, ensuring that the policy continues even if the parent is no longer around to make payments.
• Tax Benefits: Premiums paid toward child plans qualify for tax deductions under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act, and the maturity benefits are tax-free under Section 10(10D).

Cons:

• Lower Returns: Compared to mutual funds, child insurance plans often deliver lower returns as a significant portion of your premium goes toward the insurance cover rather than investments.
• Lock-In Period: Child insurance plans come with a long lock-in period, which reduces flexibility. In case of any urgent requirement, it may not be easy to access funds as you can with other investments.
• Higher Costs: The combination of insurance and investment usually means higher premium costs compared to what you might pay for a standalone term plan plus an investment in mutual funds.

3. Mutual Funds for Child’s Education

Mutual funds, particularly equity mutual funds, are market-linked instruments that offer the potential for higher returns, especially over the long term. Here’s why they are often recommended for funding long-term goals like a child’s education:
• Flexibility: Mutual funds offer a wide range of investment options based on your risk appetite. You can choose from equity, debt, or hybrid funds depending on your financial goals and timeline. For long-term goals like education, equity mutual funds or balanced funds tend to perform well, offering the potential for inflation-beating returns.
• Higher Returns: Historically, equity mutual funds have provided better returns than traditional insurance-linked plans or debt instruments. Over a period of 10-15 years, a well-chosen equity fund can deliver double-digit returns, helping you build a substantial corpus.
• Systematic Investment: With mutual funds, you can invest through Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs), which allow you to contribute a fixed amount monthly. This helps in rupee cost averaging and reduces the impact of market volatility.
• Liquidity: Mutual funds, especially open-ended funds, offer greater liquidity than child insurance plans. You can redeem your investments anytime without hefty penalties, making it easier to access funds when needed.
• Goal-Oriented Approach: You can tailor your mutual fund investments according to your specific goals. For example, you could allocate a portion of your portfolio to large-cap equity funds for stability and another portion to mid-cap or small-cap funds for higher growth potential.
• Tax Efficiency: Equity mutual funds held for more than a year qualify for long-term capital gains (LTCG) tax, which is currently 10% on gains above Rs 1 lakh, making them tax-efficient for long-term wealth creation.

4. Why Mutual Funds Might Be Better for You

Given your situation -- a 40-year-old with two children aged 12 and 9 — mutual funds could be a better fit for several reasons:

• Time Horizon: You likely have around 5-10 years until your children begin their higher education. Mutual funds, particularly equity funds, have the potential to deliver higher returns over this period compared to child insurance plans. This is crucial, as education costs tend to rise with inflation, and you’ll need an investment vehicle that can keep up with or exceed this rate.
• Flexibility: Mutual funds allow you to adjust your portfolio over time. For example, you can start with equity funds while you’re further away from your goal and gradually shift to safer debt funds as your children approach the age when the funds will be needed. This flexibility is hard to find with insurance-linked plans, which tend to be more rigid.
• Lower Costs: By opting for mutual funds, especially direct plans, you can avoid the high costs and commissions typically associated with insurance products. This allows more of your money to work for you in the market.
• Goal Alignment: Mutual funds can be more aligned with the specific goal of education planning. You can even consider investing in child-specific mutual funds, though these operate similarly to regular equity or hybrid funds, with an added emphasis on the goal of education.

5. Conclusion: Stick with Mutual Funds

While child insurance plans offer the benefit of life coverage and guaranteed payouts, they may not be the most efficient way to fund your children’s education due to their lower returns and higher costs. Since you already have a term insurance plan, which covers the life insurance aspect, mutual funds seem like a better fit for building a substantial education fund. Their potential for higher returns, flexibility, and tax efficiency make them more suitable for long-term goals like your children’s higher education. By carefully selecting a mix of equity and hybrid funds, you can likely achieve your financial goals while maintaining the flexibility to adjust your investments as needed.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
We have invested 3k from last 4 years in Aditya Birla mutual fund equity based. And last year kotak mid cap and small cap of 7k and 3k respectively. Other than this we invest in NPS 50k per year from last 5 years and have two lic policies of 5 lalk sum assured. We have two kids aged 7 and 4. Earning is 1 lakh . Expenses are home loan 31k for 32 lakh loan of 15 years , 3 years are done. Monthly expenses are 31k emi, 30k home, 15 k parents. Please suggest if this is a good way to invest for future of our children or any changes that need to be done we plan to keep investing in mutual funds for long term. Kotak Balanced Advantage Fund Growth (Regular Plan) and Kotak Small Cap Fund - Growth (Regular Plan) (Erstwhile Kotak Mid-Cap). No term insurance and there is company health insurance of my husband. I earn 10k per month.
Ans: Current Financial Situation

You have a combined monthly income of Rs. 1.10 lakh.

You have two kids aged 7 and 4.

Your monthly expenses include:

Rs. 31k home loan EMI
Rs. 30k home expenses
Rs. 15k for parents
Current Investments

You invest Rs. 3k per month in Aditya Birla mutual fund (equity-based) for the last 4 years.

You invest Rs. 7k per month in Kotak Mid Cap fund and Rs. 3k per month in Kotak Small Cap fund (last year).

You invest Rs. 50k per year in NPS for the last 5 years.

You have two LIC policies with a sum assured of Rs. 5 lakhs each.

Assessment of Current Investments

Your current mutual fund investments are good for long-term growth.

Equity mutual funds, especially mid-cap and small-cap, offer high growth potential.

NPS is a good investment for retirement savings, with tax benefits.

LIC policies provide some security but have lower returns compared to mutual funds.

Recommended Changes

Increase SIP in Mutual Funds

Consider increasing your SIPs in equity mutual funds.

This will help in wealth accumulation for your children's future.

Focus on a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Balanced Advantage Fund

Balanced Advantage Funds balance equity and debt.

They provide moderate growth with lower risk.

Consider allocating more to these funds for stability.

Avoiding Direct Funds

Direct funds need active management and expertise.

Regular funds, through a Certified Financial Planner, offer professional guidance.

They provide personalized advice and ongoing support.

Health and Term Insurance

You mentioned company health insurance.

Ensure it covers your entire family adequately.

Consider taking a separate term insurance policy for your husband.

Term insurance provides financial security in case of unforeseen events.

Review LIC Policies

LIC policies have lower returns compared to mutual funds.

Consider surrendering or partially surrendering them.

Reinvest the proceeds in high-return mutual funds.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund for unforeseen expenses.

This should cover 6-12 months of living expenses.

Keep this fund in a liquid asset like a savings account or liquid mutual fund.

Final Insights

Your current investments are on the right track.

Increasing SIPs and adding balanced advantage funds can provide stability.

Ensure adequate insurance coverage and maintain an emergency fund.

Regular reviews and professional advice will help you stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Moneywize

Moneywize   |174 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Sep 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 25, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 40 with two children aged 12 and 9. I have a term insurance plan, but I’m wondering if I should invest in a child insurance plan for my kids' future education. Is it worth considering, or should I stick with mutual funds?
Ans: When planning for your children’s future, particularly their education, the decision between investing in a child insurance plan and continuing with mutual funds is crucial. Both options have their advantages, but choosing the one that best fits your financial goals and risk tolerance will ensure that you’re making the right decision for your family.

1. Understanding Child Insurance Plans

Child insurance plans are life insurance policies specifically designed to secure your child’s future. These plans offer a mix of life cover and savings, ensuring that in the unfortunate event of the parent’s demise, the child’s education and other financial needs are met. Here are some of the benefits and features of these plans:

• Guaranteed Payouts: Child insurance plans typically provide payouts at pre-determined intervals or at key milestones, such as when your child turns 18 or enters college. This ensures that money is available at crucial moments for educational expenses.
• Life Cover with Waiver of Premium: In case of the policyholder's demise, many child plans waive off future premiums while the policy remains active. This guarantees that your child will continue to receive the planned benefits without any further payments.
• Low Risk: Child insurance plans are generally lower risk compared to mutual funds, as they are not heavily market-linked. They are often tied to traditional savings or endowment plans, making them a safer, though lower-return, investment.
• Disciplined Saving: These plans are structured to encourage long-term savings, making them ideal for individuals who want a structured financial plan for their children’s future.

2. The Case for Mutual Funds

On the other hand, mutual funds, particularly equity and balanced funds, are popular investment vehicles for long-term goals like education. Here’s why they can be a more attractive option for accumulating a significant corpus over time:

• Potential for Higher Returns: Mutual funds, especially those invested in equities (large-cap, mid-cap, or multi-cap), tend to offer higher returns compared to child insurance plans. Historically, equity markets have provided better growth over the long term, making mutual funds an ideal option for goals that are 10-15 years away, such as your children’s higher education.
• Flexibility: Unlike child insurance plans, mutual funds give you the flexibility to adjust your portfolio based on market conditions, your financial goals, or any changes in your personal life. You can choose to increase or decrease your investment or switch between funds if needed.
• Transparency: Mutual funds offer greater transparency with daily Net Asset Value (NAV) updates, which reflect the current value of your investments. You can also easily track fund performance, fees, and other details.
• Diversification: Mutual funds allow you to diversify your investments across various asset classes, reducing overall risk while still having the potential for growth. This is particularly useful for parents who want to balance safety with the opportunity for higher returns.

3. Key Considerations: Which One to Choose?

When deciding between a child insurance plan and mutual funds, consider the following factors:

• Risk Appetite: Child insurance plans are low-risk, stable options for securing your child’s future. If you are risk-averse and prefer guaranteed payouts, a child insurance plan might suit your needs. However, if you have a moderate to high-risk appetite and are willing to ride the ups and downs of the stock market for potentially higher returns, mutual funds are a better fit.
• Time Horizon: Since your children are 12 and 9 years old, you likely have about 5-8 years before you’ll need significant funds for their higher education. This is a reasonable time horizon for equity mutual funds, which tend to perform well over the long term (5-10 years or more). A child insurance plan would also mature around this time, but with potentially lower returns.
• Goal-Specific Planning: If you are primarily focused on your children's education, you can select mutual funds that cater specifically to this goal. Equity funds, balanced funds, or even children-specific mutual funds (designed to save for education) can be tailored to meet the expected costs of tuition, living expenses, and more. With mutual funds, you can align your investment strategy directly with your financial goals.

4. Mutual Funds or Child Insurance Plan?

Given that you already have a term insurance policy in place, which secures your family in case of an unfortunate event, the additional life cover that comes with a child insurance plan might not be necessary. Instead, mutual funds provide higher growth potential and flexibility, which makes them more suited for long-term education planning.

In your case, where you have about 5-8 years before major educational expenses arise, mutual funds can help you accumulate a larger corpus compared to child insurance plans. You can consider setting up a diversified mutual fund portfolio, including a mix of equity and balanced funds, to maximize growth while mitigating risk.

However, if you’re looking for guaranteed payouts with lower risk and the security of a waiver of premium in case of death, a child insurance plan could still be worth considering. Ultimately, the decision depends on your financial goals, risk tolerance, and preference for flexibility or guaranteed returns.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 05, 2024

Listen
Money
Thank you sir for your detailed evaluation and explanation. Please suggest which are better child plans? Can I open mutual fund in my sons name or I have to open in my name and then transfer when they start earning? Does stopping conventional insurance plans in between have any monetory losses?
Ans: When it comes to investing for your child's future, mutual funds via Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) are often a far better option compared to traditional child plans like endowment or ULIPs. SIPs offer flexibility, higher growth potential, and liquidity. Here’s why SIPs in mutual funds stand out:

Higher Returns: Mutual funds, especially equity-based, have historically provided better returns than conventional child plans. Over a long horizon of 10-15 years, equity funds can outperform with compounded growth.

Flexibility: Unlike traditional insurance plans, SIPs in mutual funds give you the flexibility to change the amount, increase contributions, or even withdraw in times of need without penalties.

Liquidity: Mutual funds offer easy access to funds when needed for your child's education or other milestones. Traditional child plans usually lock your funds for longer durations.

Can You Open Mutual Funds in Your Son's Name?
Currently, you cannot open a mutual fund account directly in the name of a minor without appointing a guardian (usually the parent). The mutual fund account has to be in the name of the child, but under the supervision of the guardian (you).

Once your child turns 18 and starts earning, the account can be transferred to their name. Until then, you will manage the account, make decisions, and have control over withdrawals.

Process of Opening a Mutual Fund for Your Child
Open a Minor Account: You, as the guardian, can open a mutual fund account in your child's name. The KYC process will require both your and your child’s documents.

Transfer on Adulthood: When your child turns 18, the account can be transferred to their name, and they will take over managing the funds.

SIP in Your Name: Alternatively, you can start SIPs in your own name and later, when your child starts earning, transfer the corpus or investments to their name. However, capital gains tax might apply if you sell units for transfer, so consult a Certified Financial Planner before doing so.

Stopping Conventional Insurance Plans Midway: Monetary Losses
If you're considering stopping conventional insurance plans like endowment or ULIPs, it's important to understand the potential monetary consequences:

Surrender Charges: Traditional plans usually come with surrender charges if you discontinue the policy before the maturity period. These charges can reduce the amount you get back.

Low Returns on Early Surrender: These policies offer returns only when held till maturity. Stopping midway may result in lower payouts than the premiums paid, causing financial loss.

Bonus Forfeiture: Many traditional policies promise bonuses. If you stop the policy early, you may lose out on these accumulated bonuses.

What to Do Instead?
Rather than continuing with low-return child plans or insurance policies, you can:

Switch to Mutual Funds: Move towards SIPs in mutual funds, especially equity-based funds for long-term goals like education. These will offer higher returns over time.

Keep Insurance Separate: Always keep your insurance and investment goals separate. Continue with a term insurance plan for life coverage, and use mutual funds for wealth creation.

Final Thoughts
For your child’s future, SIPs in mutual funds are better than traditional child plans.
You can open a mutual fund in your child’s name, with you as the guardian, and later transfer it when they turn 18.

By choosing the right investment strategies, you can ensure a brighter financial future for your child.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |678 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |678 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1269 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi Madam, I'm 60,retired, my wife is 47, our son is 23. I had love marriage and was leading a happy married life. Just after silver jubilee of our wedding anniversary I accidentally came to know that my wife is madly in love with one of our common married friend who runs a simple shop. Upon investigation I found that they are in relation for last 12 years and were enjoying sex in my own house for such a long time. He hails from an uneducated family and is not even cultured. I could not believe that the wife of a highly educated socially respected man could do this with a shopkeeper who does not have any socio economic status. I am living a normal life with my wife for the sake of our only child. Once he settles in life I have decided to end my life. Ofcourse I still love her as ours was a love marriage. I seek your wise suggestion in this regard, should I divorce her or live a normal life that we are doing?
Ans: Dear Shristi,
It is obviously very shocking for you to know that things have been happening behind your back.
Now, how you want this to move on from here on, is a decision only you must make! Have you had a chat with your wife about the association that she has with the other person? Does she know that you know about it?
If she doesn't, then you need to make her aware and yes, do ask her whether she is interested at all in the marriage. That will give you an idea as to whether things are worth fighting for or is it best to walk away!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1269 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello madam I a 32 year old married man with a kid , who is 6 years old. I have done arrange marriage with my own decision I agreed to my parents for the marrige at that time I was in a casual relationship with a girl I didn't said anything to the girl and get married to someone else. After that I tried to live a happay life with my wife without thinking about the girl whom I left behind, from outside I tried to be happy with my wife but my wife thought doesn't matches with me so I felt so disturbed from inside. Still I was trying to continue the relationship for sake of our child but suddenly I got my ex love contact and I was so happy that after so long time I got a chance to talk to her, I have tried to meet her but she always refused to meet me because she was in a relationship. I tried many times and due to some misconduct I again lost her for the second time. At this moment when she is not with me her thoughts memories are troubling me so much I am in pain, what am I suppose to do to get rid of the pain?? Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no point wanting a 'past' relationship just because you have one...what if that relationship did not exist, you would have possibly made efforts to make your marriage work, right?
Then do just that...DO NOT treat your marriage as an option...which marriage is a perfect one? And are all spouses tailor-made to fit one another?
So, if her thoughts don't match with yours, then even yours don't match with hers...so, should she also think of jumping into some other relationship. Please act mature about this especially with a child in the entire equation; try and understand each other...speak about your differences and find ways of working on them by accepting them. Ex-love etc looks all very nice, but come down to ground reality; please...work on your marriage!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x