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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi
Money

I am 38 year old single female. My per month earning is 1 Lakh 78thnd. I have not done any investment till date but also I have no savings due to some unfortunate circumstances. But now I have space to do investment. I need a guidance. I have done the investment in LIC life insurance of 1 Lakh Pension plan amount is minimum 450 rs monthly Can you suggest what investment incan do so it can help me after 20 years.

Ans: You're at a fantastic stage to start your investment journey. Let's dive in and make your financial future bright. We will go through different investment options that can secure your future over the next 20 years.

Current Financial Scenario
Firstly, it's commendable that you're keen on securing your financial future despite not having started any investments or savings yet. Your monthly income of Rs. 1 lakh is a good base. Your existing LIC pension plan of Rs. 1 lakh is a start, but there are more efficient ways to build your corpus for the long term.

Establishing Financial Goals
Setting clear financial goals is crucial. Since you aim to have a comfortable corpus in 20 years, we need a diversified approach. Your investment strategy should balance risk and returns while considering your financial stability.

Emergency Fund
Before diving into investments, create an emergency fund. Aim for a fund that covers at least six months of your expenses. This fund will be your financial cushion against unexpected circumstances. You can park this in a high-yield savings account or liquid mutual funds.

Mutual Funds: A Strong Contender
Mutual funds are excellent for wealth creation over a long period. They offer diversification and are managed by professional fund managers. Let’s explore different categories and how they can benefit you.

Large Cap Funds
Large cap funds invest in well-established companies. They are relatively stable and offer moderate returns with lower risk. These funds are good for the core of your portfolio, providing stability.

Mid Cap Funds
Mid cap funds invest in medium-sized companies. They offer higher growth potential compared to large cap funds but come with moderate risk. These funds can add a growth element to your portfolio.

Small Cap Funds
Small cap funds invest in smaller companies. They have the potential for high returns but come with higher risk. A small allocation here can boost your portfolio’s growth potential.

Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi cap funds invest across market capitalizations. They provide flexibility and diversification, which can enhance your returns. These funds are managed dynamically to take advantage of market opportunities.

Sectoral/Thematic Funds
These funds focus on specific sectors like technology, healthcare, etc. They are riskier but can offer high returns if the sector performs well. Limit exposure to these funds to avoid over-concentration.

Debt Funds
Debt funds are less volatile and provide steady returns. They are suitable for your medium-term goals and to balance the risk in your portfolio. They invest in bonds and other fixed-income securities.

Power of Compounding
Investing early leverages the power of compounding. Compounding helps grow your investments exponentially over time. Regular investments and staying invested for the long term maximize this effect. For example, investing Rs. 20,000 monthly in mutual funds for 20 years can potentially grow into a substantial corpus due to compounding.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have professional fund managers who make decisions based on market conditions. They aim to outperform the market, unlike index funds which only replicate market indices. Actively managed funds can potentially offer higher returns, especially in dynamic market conditions. They provide better risk management and opportunities for superior returns.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Direct funds have lower expense ratios since they don’t involve intermediaries. However, they require more research and time to manage effectively. Regular funds, through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential, offer professional guidance. The slight additional cost can be worth the expert advice and convenience.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Start with a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) in mutual funds. SIPs help in disciplined investing and averaging out market volatility. Begin with an amount you're comfortable with, say Rs. 20,000 monthly, and gradually increase it.

Equity SIPs
Equity SIPs in diversified equity mutual funds can offer high returns over the long term. Allocate across large cap, mid cap, and small cap funds for a balanced portfolio. This diversification will help manage risk while aiming for high returns.

Debt SIPs
Debt SIPs in debt mutual funds provide stability and steady returns. They are less volatile than equity funds and can safeguard your capital. A mix of equity and debt SIPs can create a balanced portfolio.

Retirement Planning
Your goal is a comfortable corpus in 20 years, aligning with retirement planning. Alongside mutual funds, consider the National Pension System (NPS) for its tax benefits and retirement focus. NPS invests in a mix of equity, corporate bonds, and government securities, offering diversification and tax efficiency.

Gold as an Investment
Gold is a good hedge against inflation and market volatility. Investing in gold ETFs or Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs) can diversify your portfolio. Avoid physical gold due to storage and security concerns.

Health Insurance
Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage. Medical emergencies can deplete your savings and investments. A comprehensive health plan will protect your financial health.

Life Insurance
Your LIC policy is a good start, but ensure it provides adequate coverage. Term insurance is a cost-effective way to secure your financial dependents.

Monitoring and Reviewing Your Portfolio
Regularly monitor and review your portfolio. Ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance. Adjust your investments based on market conditions and personal financial changes.

Tax Planning
Utilize tax-saving instruments like ELSS funds, PPF, and NPS. These not only save taxes but also grow your wealth over time. Efficient tax planning maximizes your returns.

Final Insights
Starting now with a diversified investment approach can set you on the path to financial independence. Focus on mutual funds for long-term wealth creation. Remember, consistency and discipline in investing are key. Keep your goals clear and review your progress regularly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

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Iam 38 and have 20 lakhs as my savings which I want to invest for 1,3,5 and 7 years. Please suggest appropriate as I'm willing to take risk but want good returns.
Ans: Investing with specific time horizons in mind is a smart approach. Here's a suggested investment strategy considering your willingness to take risks and aiming for good returns:

1-Year Investment (Short-term):
Liquid Funds: These funds offer stability and liquidity. They invest in short-term money market instruments. Given your short time horizon, liquid funds would be suitable as they offer better returns than savings accounts and are low-risk.
3-Year Investment (Medium-term):
Short-term Debt Funds or Ultra Short-term Funds: These funds invest in fixed-income securities with a maturity period of 1-3 years. They offer relatively higher returns than liquid funds and are less volatile than equity funds, making them a suitable choice for a 3-year horizon.
5-Year Investment (Medium to Long-term):
Balanced Funds or Hybrid Funds: These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments. They offer potential for higher returns compared to debt funds while providing some cushion against market volatility. This combination could be ideal for a 5-year horizon.
7-Year Investment (Long-term):
Equity Mutual Funds: Given your willingness to take risks and the longer time horizon, equity funds would be appropriate.
Large Cap Funds: These funds invest predominantly in large-cap companies which are relatively stable and offer moderate returns.
Mid & Small Cap Funds: These funds invest in mid and small-cap companies which have the potential to offer higher returns but come with higher volatility.
Multi-Cap Funds: These funds provide diversification across market caps and offer flexibility to capitalize on market opportunities.
General Tips:

Diversification: Spread your investments across different asset classes and fund categories to reduce risk.
Regular Review: Periodically review your investments to ensure they align with your financial goals and adjust as necessary.
Risk Tolerance: While you're willing to take risks, ensure your investments align with your risk tolerance. Remember, higher returns come with higher volatility.
Lastly, it's advisable to consult with a Certified Financial Planner to tailor this strategy according to your specific financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance. They can provide personalized advice and help you navigate the complexities of investing.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

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I am 35 and have a monthly income of 50000 and my savings are zero and all my commitment are cleared. I am ready to invest 12000 per month for the next 25 years. Can u please suggest how and where to invest.
Ans: At 35, with a monthly income of Rs. 50,000 and no current savings, you have a great opportunity to start building your financial future. Investing Rs. 12,000 per month over the next 25 years can help you achieve significant wealth. Here’s a detailed plan to guide your investments.

Investment Strategy
1. Diversified Portfolio:

Equity Mutual Funds: These funds have the potential for high returns over the long term.
Debt Mutual Funds: These funds provide stability and lower risk.
Gold: A small portion in gold can act as a hedge against inflation.
Fixed Deposits: While they offer lower returns, they add safety to your portfolio.
2. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

SIPs help in disciplined investing.
They average out market volatility over time.
Investing Rs. 12,000 monthly through SIPs will ensure regular and consistent investments.
Recommended Allocation
Equity Mutual Funds:

Allocate 60% of your investment to equity mutual funds.
This equals Rs. 7,200 per month.
Choose a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds for diversification.
Debt Mutual Funds:

Allocate 20% to debt mutual funds.
This equals Rs. 2,400 per month.
These funds provide stability and reduce overall portfolio risk.
Gold:

Allocate 10% to gold.
This equals Rs. 1,200 per month.
Invest through gold bonds or gold ETFs.
Fixed Deposits:

Allocate 10% to fixed deposits.
This equals Rs. 1,200 per month.
This provides a safety net and liquidity.
Step-by-Step Plan
1. Start with Emergency Fund:

Build an emergency fund to cover 6 months of expenses.
Use your fixed deposit allocation to build this fund initially.
2. Begin SIPs:

Set up SIPs for equity mutual funds, debt mutual funds, and gold.
Automate your investments to ensure consistency.
3. Review and Adjust:

Review your portfolio every six months.
Adjust your allocations based on performance and market conditions.
4. Increase Investment Over Time:

Aim to increase your monthly investment by 5-10% annually.
This helps in countering inflation and increasing wealth.
Choosing the Right Funds
Equity Mutual Funds:

Look for funds with a consistent track record.
Choose funds managed by experienced fund managers.
Diversify across different sectors and market capitalizations.
Debt Mutual Funds:

Opt for funds with lower credit risk.
Look for funds that invest in high-quality debt instruments.
Consider funds with a good track record of stable returns.
Gold Investments:

Prefer sovereign gold bonds for better returns.
Gold ETFs offer liquidity and ease of investment.
Additional Tips
1. Tax Planning:

Utilize tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS) for tax benefits.
ELSS funds have a lock-in period of three years but offer tax deductions.
2. Financial Discipline:

Avoid withdrawing from your investments prematurely.
Stick to your investment plan regardless of market fluctuations.
3. Knowledge and Awareness:

Stay informed about market trends and financial news.
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice.
Final Insights
Starting your investment journey at 35 with a disciplined approach can yield significant returns over 25 years. Diversify your portfolio across equity, debt, gold, and fixed deposits to balance risk and reward. Regularly review and adjust your investments to stay on track with your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 04, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 38 year old single female. My per month earning is 1 Lakh 78thnd. I have not done any investment till date but also I have no savings due to some unfortunate circumstances. But now I have space to do investment. I need a guidance. I have done the investment in LIC life insurance of 1 Lakh Pension plan amount is minimum 450 rs monthly Can you suggest what investment i can do so it can help me after 20 years.
Ans: It's great to see your interest in securing your financial future. With a structured plan, you can turn things around and build a strong financial foundation over the next 20 years. Let's dive into how you can strategically invest your money.

Assessing Your Current Situation
At 38, with a monthly income of Rs 1.78 lakh, you have a good base to start investing. It's commendable that you have a pension plan through LIC, though it's a small contribution. Let's explore how to optimize your investments.

Evaluating Your Existing Investment
Your current LIC pension plan contributes Rs 450 monthly. While it's a start, this alone won't be sufficient for your long-term financial goals. Consider diversifying and increasing your investments for better returns.

Benefits of Diversified Investments
Diversification spreads your risk and can enhance returns. Let's look at the types of investments you can consider:

Equity Mutual Funds
These funds invest in stocks and have the potential for high returns. They're ideal for long-term investments as they can outperform inflation and grow significantly over time.

Debt Mutual Funds
These funds invest in bonds and other fixed-income securities. They provide regular income and are less risky compared to equity funds.

Hybrid Funds
Hybrid funds invest in both equities and debt, offering a balanced approach. They provide growth potential while mitigating risk.

Why Not Real Estate?
Real estate requires a large capital outlay and can be illiquid. It also involves maintenance and other costs. Given these factors, it's better to focus on more liquid and manageable investment options.

Drawbacks of Direct Funds
Direct funds might seem appealing due to lower expense ratios. However, they require active management and expertise. Without professional guidance, you might miss out on market opportunities or make suboptimal decisions.

Benefits of Regular Funds through a CFP
Investing through a CFP offers several advantages:

Expert Guidance: A CFP can help select the best funds based on your risk profile and goals.
Ongoing Monitoring: Continuous tracking and adjustments ensure your investments remain aligned with your objectives.
Better Returns: Professional management can lead to better returns through strategic adjustments.
The Power of SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans)
SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly, making it a disciplined and systematic approach to investing. This also helps in averaging out market volatility, ensuring better returns over time.

Suggested Investment Strategy
Given your current financial situation and long-term goals, here's a suggested strategy:

Emergency Fund
First, establish an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This should be kept in a liquid fund or savings account for easy access.

Monthly SIPs
Consider allocating a significant portion of your monthly income to SIPs in diversified mutual funds. Here's a suggested allocation:

Equity Mutual Funds: 60-70% of your SIPs should go here for high growth potential.
Debt Mutual Funds: 20-30% for stability and regular returns.
Hybrid Funds: 10-20% for a balanced approach.
One-Time Investments
If you have any lump sum amounts in the future, invest them in diversified equity and debt funds. This helps in maintaining a balanced portfolio.

Benefits of Compounding
Investing for 20 years allows you to benefit from compounding, where your returns generate further returns. This can lead to exponential growth in your investments.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your goals. Market conditions change, and so should your investment strategy. A CFP can help with this.

Final Insights
Starting your investment journey now is a wise decision. With a structured plan and disciplined approach, you can build a substantial corpus over the next 20 years.

Diversify your investments across equity, debt, and hybrid funds to spread risk and enhance returns. Engage with a CFP for professional guidance, ensuring your investments are managed effectively. Establish an emergency fund and invest regularly through SIPs to benefit from the power of compounding.

Remember, consistency and regular monitoring are key to successful investing. By staying committed and making informed decisions, you can secure a strong financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Hi Madam, I'm 60,retired, my wife is 47, our son is 23. I had love marriage and was leading a happy married life. Just after silver jubilee of our wedding anniversary I accidentally came to know that my wife is madly in love with one of our common married friend who runs a simple shop. Upon investigation I found that they are in relation for last 12 years and were enjoying sex in my own house for such a long time. He hails from an uneducated family and is not even cultured. I could not believe that the wife of a highly educated socially respected man could do this with a shopkeeper who does not have any socio economic status. I am living a normal life with my wife for the sake of our only child. Once he settles in life I have decided to end my life. Ofcourse I still love her as ours was a love marriage. I seek your wise suggestion in this regard, should I divorce her or live a normal life that we are doing?
Ans: Dear Shristi,
It is obviously very shocking for you to know that things have been happening behind your back.
Now, how you want this to move on from here on, is a decision only you must make! Have you had a chat with your wife about the association that she has with the other person? Does she know that you know about it?
If she doesn't, then you need to make her aware and yes, do ask her whether she is interested at all in the marriage. That will give you an idea as to whether things are worth fighting for or is it best to walk away!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna  |1269 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello madam I a 32 year old married man with a kid , who is 6 years old. I have done arrange marriage with my own decision I agreed to my parents for the marrige at that time I was in a casual relationship with a girl I didn't said anything to the girl and get married to someone else. After that I tried to live a happay life with my wife without thinking about the girl whom I left behind, from outside I tried to be happy with my wife but my wife thought doesn't matches with me so I felt so disturbed from inside. Still I was trying to continue the relationship for sake of our child but suddenly I got my ex love contact and I was so happy that after so long time I got a chance to talk to her, I have tried to meet her but she always refused to meet me because she was in a relationship. I tried many times and due to some misconduct I again lost her for the second time. At this moment when she is not with me her thoughts memories are troubling me so much I am in pain, what am I suppose to do to get rid of the pain?? Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no point wanting a 'past' relationship just because you have one...what if that relationship did not exist, you would have possibly made efforts to make your marriage work, right?
Then do just that...DO NOT treat your marriage as an option...which marriage is a perfect one? And are all spouses tailor-made to fit one another?
So, if her thoughts don't match with yours, then even yours don't match with hers...so, should she also think of jumping into some other relationship. Please act mature about this especially with a child in the entire equation; try and understand each other...speak about your differences and find ways of working on them by accepting them. Ex-love etc looks all very nice, but come down to ground reality; please...work on your marriage!

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Drop in: www.unfear.io
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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

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Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for Arranged Marriage Prospects. My Family has found a Prospect (27F) who seems like a Good Match, she's Well Educated, Earning Well & from the same Community. I haven't yet met her in Person, but connected with her on Social Media Platforms & interacting regularly. Recently, I scrolled through her Instagram Profile (It's a Public Profile). She seems to be a very Sociable Person, she has shared many Photos of herself, Partying/Travelling along with her Friends. My Problem is that she seems to like Wearing Clothes which are Revealing. She has shared many Photos/Videos, in which she's skimpily dressed (including some Bikini Photos at Beach/Swimming Pool). She also has a Pierced Navel Ring & Tattoos on some Private Parts like Chest, Hips, Thighs & Lower Back, which she flaunts proudly on Social Media. Though, I am not Judging her Character, based on her Choice of Clothing, but seeing all these made me a little Uncomfortable, as I am a very Modest & Simple Person myself. I have not discussed this issue with my Parents, as they have a very good opinion about her (which I don't want to Ruin). But I've discussed with some of my closest Friends (of both Genders) & some of them have Chided me for being so Judgemental. They suggested me to meet her atleast once in person, to understand what's her Character/Personality like. Shall I give it a try or Reject her Politely at this stage itself, without wasting any more Time (either her or mine)? Or am I being too Superficial to Judge a Woman, just based on her Social Media Profile, without even meeting her once, personally (This is what some of my closest Female Friends opined)? Please suggest me how to proceed with this Prospect in Arranged Marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it might come off as you being judgmental of her choice of dressing, but you have a right to form an opinion in your mind, especially since in your case, you might be marrying the person. As long as you are not making up your mind about her based on her dressing, forcing her to dress the way she wants, or thrusting your opinion on her, it's alright. It's human nature to be a bit jerked by the choices others make that we won't make ourselves. Having said that, I believe meeting her once in person can be good for you; you might have a new perspective- both about her and on life. But no one can force you to do either. My suggestion is that do what you think is right- if you are sure you will reject this alliance based on her choice of clothes, even if she is the nicest person on the face of the earth, meeting up might be a waste of time. But if you think you are open to changing your mind, go for it.

I would also like for you to remember one important point if things work out between the two of you- do not try to push your opinions on dressing and change the way she is after getting married. That would not be fair. In case, you start hoping that she will change and fit YOUR mold of the perfect woman, I would strongly suggest keeping that thought in check.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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