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Sunil

Sunil Lala  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Feb 11, 2024

Sunil Lala founded SL Wealth, a company that offers life and non-life insurance, mutual fund and asset allocation advice, in 2005. A certified financial planner, he has three decades of domain experience. His expertise includes designing goal-specific financial plans and creating investment awareness. He has been a registered member of the Financial Planning Standards Board since 2009.... more
Rajshekhar Question by Rajshekhar on Feb 01, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir, I am 50,with a cash fund of 65 lacks,own a house and no labilities.Apart i also own couple of plots valued at 1 cr and currently earn 20k from professional services to insurance companies..plz suggest investment where i get monthly pension of Rs.40k by investing 65 lacs.

Ans: By investing 65 lakh you can get around 32500/- monthly
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  | Answer  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
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I will retire in 3 years ,in june 2027 & will have a corpus of around 3.5 Cr invested in PPF, EPF ,Supper Annuation Fund & MF . I live in my own flat ,currently market value of Rs 1.8 Cr . I also have an inherited flat from my parent valued at Rs80 lakhs . I need a monthly income of Rs 2.0 lacs after retirement . Please suggest way to invest
Ans: Congratulations on your impending retirement and the substantial corpus you've accumulated across various investment avenues. Planning for a comfortable post-retirement income is essential, and I'm here to offer guidance on how to achieve your financial goals.

With a corpus of around 3.5 crores invested in PPF, EPF, Superannuation Fund, and mutual funds, you have a solid foundation for retirement. Additionally, owning your own flat with a market value of Rs. 1.8 crores and an inherited flat valued at Rs. 80 lakhs provides further financial security.

To generate a monthly income of Rs. 2.0 lakhs after retirement, you'll need to ensure your investments are structured to provide a consistent stream of income while preserving capital for the long term.

Given your investment horizon of 3 years until retirement, it's crucial to adopt a balanced approach that combines both growth and income-generating assets. Here are some suggestions:

Dividend-Paying Mutual Funds: Allocate a portion of your corpus towards dividend-paying mutual funds, focusing on both equity and debt funds. These funds provide regular income through dividend payouts while also offering the potential for capital appreciation.

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP): Consider setting up SWPs from your mutual fund investments to meet your monthly income requirement post-retirement. SWPs allow you to withdraw a fixed amount periodically, ensuring a steady stream of income while keeping your investments intact.

Rental Income: Utilize the rental income from your inherited flat to supplement your monthly income post-retirement. If feasible, you may also explore renting out a portion of your own flat to generate additional income.

Fixed Deposits and Bonds: Allocate a portion of your corpus towards fixed deposits and bonds to provide stability and ensure liquidity. Opt for instruments with varying maturities to create a ladder that aligns with your income needs.

Real Estate Investment Trusts (REITs): Consider investing in REITs, which offer exposure to income-generating commercial real estate properties. REITs provide regular dividends and the potential for capital appreciation, enhancing your overall income stream.

Regular Review and Adjustment: Regularly review your investment portfolio and make necessary adjustments to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to optimize your investment strategy and navigate the complexities of retirement planning.

By diversifying your investment portfolio across multiple asset classes and implementing income-generating strategies, you can work towards achieving your goal of a monthly income of Rs. 2.0 lakhs post-retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  | Answer  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi I sir I a m 52 PSU bank employee. Planning to retire at 55 .Savings of 1 CR in FD .pension expected 60000.Retirement benefits arround 1 CR. Other savings in PLI 15 lacs NSC 10 lacs,LIC 5 lacs Planning to sell 1 property worth 1.5 CR.Daughter pursuing 2nd year . Aged mother and handicapped brother dependant on me. Housing loan 9 lacs outstanding.planning to avail 50 lacs for renovation of another property.Need monthly income if 2 lacs .Please advise investment avenues
Ans: Planning for a Comfortable Retirement: Steps to Achieve Your Goals
You are 52 years old, working in a PSU bank, planning to retire at 55. Your savings include Rs 1 crore in FDs, Rs 15 lakhs in PLI, Rs 10 lakhs in NSC, and Rs 5 lakhs in LIC. You expect a pension of Rs 60,000 and retirement benefits of around Rs 1 crore. You also plan to sell a property worth Rs 1.5 crore. Your dependents include your daughter in her second year of studies, an aged mother, and a handicapped brother. You have an outstanding housing loan of Rs 9 lakhs and plan to borrow Rs 50 lakhs for property renovation. You need a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs. Here's how to plan your investments to achieve your goals.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
You have significant assets and income streams, including:

Savings in FD: Rs 1 crore
Expected Pension: Rs 60,000 per month
Retirement Benefits: Rs 1 crore
Property Sale Proceeds: Rs 1.5 crore
Savings in PLI: Rs 15 lakhs
Savings in NSC: Rs 10 lakhs
Savings in LIC: Rs 5 lakhs
Evaluating Your Financial Goals
You aim to secure a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs post-retirement. This requires careful planning and strategic investments.

Creating a Retirement Corpus
To achieve a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs, you need to build a substantial corpus. Here’s how to calculate it:

Monthly Income Required: Rs 2,00,000
Annual Income Required: Rs 2,00,000 x 12 = Rs 24,00,000
Assumed Safe Withdrawal Rate: 4%
Required Retirement Corpus: Rs 24,00,000 / 4% = Rs 6 crores
Steps to Achieve the Retirement Corpus
Achieving Rs 6 crores by retirement requires a strategic approach. Here’s a step-by-step plan:

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
SIPs in mutual funds can help build wealth over time. Here’s why:

Regular Investments: Investing monthly promotes disciplined saving.
Rupee Cost Averaging: It averages out the cost of investments, reducing market volatility impact.
Professional Management: Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market.
Building a Diversified Portfolio
Diversification reduces risk and maximizes returns. Here's how to create a balanced portfolio:

Equity Mutual Funds: Allocate a significant portion to equity funds for growth.
Debt Mutual Funds: Invest in debt funds for stability and predictable returns.
Balanced Funds: These funds offer a mix of equity and debt, balancing growth and stability.
Reviewing Existing Investments
You have investments in PLI, NSC, and LIC. These plans typically offer lower returns. Here’s what you can do:

Evaluate Returns: Check the returns on these plans.
Consider Surrendering: If returns are low, consider surrendering and reinvesting in mutual funds.
Utilizing the Proceeds from Property Sale
The sale of your property worth Rs 1.5 crore provides substantial capital. Here’s how to use it:

Pay Off Loans: Clear the Rs 9 lakhs housing loan to reduce liabilities.
Invest the Remaining Amount: Invest the remaining Rs 1.41 crore in a diversified portfolio for growth.
Setting Up a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Determine Monthly Savings: Calculate how much you can invest monthly after expenses.
Select Actively Managed Funds: Choose funds with a strong performance history.
Start Early: The earlier you start, the more time your money has to grow.
Emergency Fund and Insurance
An emergency fund and proper insurance are crucial for financial security. Here’s what you need:

Emergency Fund: Keep 6-12 months' expenses in a liquid fund.
Health Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health coverage for yourself and your dependents.
Life Insurance: Review your life insurance to ensure sufficient coverage.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds are managed by professionals aiming to outperform the market. Here’s why they are beneficial:

Expert Management: Fund managers make informed decisions based on market analysis.
Flexibility: They can adjust the portfolio to mitigate risks.
Potential for Higher Returns: Aiming to outperform the market, these funds often yield higher returns.
Disadvantages of Index Funds
While index funds offer low-cost diversification, they have drawbacks:

Lack of Flexibility: They strictly follow the index, missing opportunities to outperform.
Average Returns: Aim to match market performance, leading to average returns.
Full Market Exposure: They are fully exposed to market downturns without active management.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds have no commission costs but require more involvement. Here’s why regular funds with a CFP are better:

Professional Guidance: Regular funds come with expert advice and management.
Convenience: CFPs handle administrative tasks and provide tailored advice.
Performance Monitoring: Regular reviews by professionals ensure optimal performance.
Planning for Dependents
You have significant responsibilities, including your daughter’s education, and supporting your mother and brother. Here’s how to plan:

Education Fund: Allocate part of your savings for your daughter’s education.
Healthcare Fund: Ensure sufficient funds for your mother’s and brother’s healthcare needs.
Living Expenses: Plan for your brother’s living expenses, ensuring a stable future for him.
Renovation Loan and Its Impact
You plan to borrow Rs 50 lakhs for property renovation. Here’s how to manage it:

Evaluate Necessity: Ensure the renovation is essential and will add value.
Loan Repayment Plan: Create a clear repayment plan to manage the additional debt.
Impact on Savings: Assess how the loan will impact your overall savings and investments.
Creating a Withdrawal Strategy
Having a withdrawal strategy ensures you don’t outlive your savings. Here’s how to create one:

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Set up SWPs in mutual funds to provide regular income.
Safe Withdrawal Rate: Withdraw at a safe rate (4%) to ensure the corpus lasts.
Adjust for Inflation: Increase withdrawals periodically to keep up with inflation.
Final Insights
Achieving a monthly income of Rs 2 lakhs post-retirement is challenging but possible. Start with SIPs in actively managed funds, diversify your portfolio, and regularly review and rebalance your investments. Utilize the proceeds from your property sale wisely and plan for dependents' future needs. Ensure you have adequate insurance and an emergency fund. With careful planning and disciplined investing, you can achieve your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  | Answer  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 41 years ,with 1.1 crores in MF with monthly sip of 1 lac,50 Lacs in gold,10 lacs in LIC ,10 lacs in emergency fund 1 loan free flat.I have a loan running for the car. I have two sons aged 7 and 10 I would like to retire at 50 with monthly passive income of minimum 5 lacs. Kindly share investment ideas
Ans: It's impressive to see your dedication to building a solid foundation. Here’s a breakdown of your current assets:

Rs. 1.1 crores in mutual funds with a monthly SIP of Rs. 1 lakh.
Rs. 50 lakhs in gold.
Rs. 10 lakhs in an LIC policy.
Rs. 10 lakhs in an emergency fund.
A loan-free flat.
A running car loan.
Two sons aged 7 and 10.
You aim to retire at 50 with a passive monthly income of Rs. 5 lakhs. This goal is ambitious but achievable with the right strategy.

Assessing Your Investment Portfolio
Mutual Funds
Your investment in mutual funds is significant and shows a strong commitment to growth. However, it's crucial to review the types of mutual funds you're invested in. Diversification across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds is essential.

Actively managed funds tend to perform better than index funds in the long term. Actively managed funds are managed by professionals who aim to outperform the market. They offer better growth potential, especially in a volatile market.

Gold
Gold is a stable asset that can protect against inflation. However, it might not provide the growth needed to achieve your retirement goal. It’s advisable to limit gold to a smaller percentage of your portfolio.

LIC Policy
LIC policies often come with lower returns compared to mutual funds. Considering the goal of achieving a passive income of Rs. 5 lakhs per month, you might want to reconsider this investment.

Emergency Fund
Having Rs. 10 lakhs in an emergency fund is prudent. This ensures you have liquidity in case of unforeseen circumstances.

Real Estate
Owning a loan-free flat is a significant asset. While real estate is not recommended as an investment option here, your flat provides stability and reduces living expenses.

Car Loan
Managing your car loan efficiently is crucial. Ensure it doesn’t become a burden on your finances.

Strategic Investment Recommendations
Increase Equity Exposure
To achieve a substantial passive income, consider increasing your exposure to equities. Equities have the potential for higher returns compared to other asset classes.

Diversify Within Mutual Funds
Diversify your mutual fund investments across different sectors and market capitalizations. Include a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. This strategy spreads risk and capitalizes on various market opportunities.

Reduce Gold Allocation
While gold is a safe investment, it’s wise to reduce its allocation. You could redirect some of the funds in gold towards more growth-oriented investments like equities.

Reevaluate LIC Policy
Considering the lower returns from LIC policies, you might want to surrender the policy and reinvest the proceeds in mutual funds. This shift can enhance your overall portfolio returns.

Increase SIP Contributions
Your current SIP of Rs. 1 lakh per month is commendable. To accelerate growth, gradually increase this amount as your income allows. This practice is known as the ‘step-up SIP’ strategy.

Focus on Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can potentially provide better returns than index funds. Fund managers actively make decisions to outperform the market, offering higher growth potential.

Emergency Fund Maintenance
Maintain your emergency fund to cover at least six months of expenses. This ensures financial security without hindering long-term investments.

Planning for Children's Future
Education Fund
Consider setting up dedicated funds for your children’s education. Investing in child-specific mutual funds or SIPs can help accumulate a substantial corpus over time.

Financial Security
Ensure you have adequate term insurance to protect your family. A term plan provides a financial cushion in case of unforeseen events.

Retirement Planning
Calculate Retirement Corpus
To achieve a monthly passive income of Rs. 5 lakhs, you need a substantial retirement corpus. Assuming a conservative withdrawal rate, you might need a corpus of around Rs. 12 crores.

Increase Retirement Contributions
Increase your monthly SIP contributions. Regularly review and adjust your investments to stay on track towards your retirement goal.

Focus on Growth-Oriented Investments
Prioritize growth-oriented investments like equities and high-performing mutual funds. They can offer the necessary growth to build your retirement corpus.

Diversify Investments
Diversify across asset classes to manage risk and ensure steady growth. Include a mix of equities, debt instruments, and other high-yield investments.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your retirement goals. Rebalance your investments to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Generating Passive Income
Dividend-Yielding Investments
Consider investments that provide regular dividends. Dividend-yielding stocks and mutual funds can offer a steady income stream.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Implement a Systematic Withdrawal Plan in mutual funds. SWPs allow you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly, providing a stable income during retirement.

Rental Income
If possible, consider generating rental income from your property. Rental income can supplement your passive income needs.

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS)
After retirement, invest in the Senior Citizen Savings Scheme. SCSS offers a secure and regular income for senior citizens.

Monthly Income Plans (MIPs)
Invest in Monthly Income Plans which provide regular payouts. MIPs balance growth and income, ensuring a stable cash flow.

Final Insights
Achieving a monthly passive income of Rs. 5 lakhs is a challenging but attainable goal. Focus on increasing your equity exposure, diversifying your investments, and regularly reviewing your portfolio. Actively managed mutual funds can offer better returns compared to index funds.

Consider reducing gold allocation and reassessing your LIC policy. Ensure you have adequate insurance coverage and an emergency fund. Plan for your children’s education and future needs.

Gradually increase your SIP contributions and focus on growth-oriented investments. Implement strategies like SWP and dividend-yielding investments for passive income. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to stay aligned with your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1450 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  | Answer  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2025Hindi
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I'm 32, with no savings other than my monthly SIP of 5000 which i have been doing since 2022 september. I have no financial backing, could you help me with a break up of how i can start investing and saving.
Ans: At 32, starting with Rs. 5,000 monthly SIP is a good first step. Building wealth requires a structured approach to saving and investing. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you achieve financial stability and growth.

Assessing Your Current Situation
You have no financial backing, so an emergency fund is critical.

Your monthly SIP indicates discipline in investing.

Prioritising goals and systematic planning will strengthen your finances.

Step 1: Establish an Emergency Fund
Save at least 6 months' worth of monthly expenses in a liquid fund or savings account.

Allocate a fixed portion of your income every month for this purpose.

Emergency funds should be easily accessible but not used for routine expenses.

Step 2: Manage Expenses Effectively
Create a monthly budget to track income and expenses.

Identify unnecessary expenses and redirect the savings towards investments.

Follow the 50-30-20 rule:

50% for necessities (rent, food, bills).
30% for discretionary spending (entertainment, hobbies).
20% for savings and investments.
Step 3: Continue and Enhance SIP Contributions
Your Rs. 5,000 SIP in equity mutual funds is a good start.

Gradually increase the SIP amount as your income grows.

Choose funds based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Step 4: Diversify Your Investments
Equity Mutual Funds

Continue investing in actively managed funds for long-term growth.
Focus on funds with consistent performance over 5-10 years.
Debt Funds or Fixed Deposits

Allocate a portion to safer instruments for stability.
These options can balance risk in your portfolio.
PPF (Public Provident Fund)

Open a PPF account for tax-saving benefits and long-term compounding.
Invest a fixed amount annually to build a secure retirement corpus.
Gold for Wealth Protection

Allocate a small percentage (5-10%) to gold (SGB or gold mutual funds).
Gold acts as a hedge against inflation.
Step 5: Focus on Insurance and Risk Coverage
Purchase a term insurance policy with adequate coverage (10-15 times your annual income).

Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance to cover medical emergencies.

Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies as they deliver low returns.

Step 6: Plan for Long-Term Goals
Define specific financial goals like buying a house, retirement, or children's education.

Assign timelines and cost estimates to each goal.

Invest in equity for long-term goals (10+ years) and debt for short-term goals (1-3 years).

Step 7: Tax-Saving Investments
Use Section 80C instruments like ELSS, PPF, or NPS to save taxes.

ELSS funds provide equity exposure with tax benefits under Section 80C.

Avoid locking excessive funds in low-return tax-saving options.

Step 8: Automate Savings and Investments
Set up auto-debit for SIPs and savings to maintain consistency.

Automating investments reduces the temptation to spend unnecessarily.

Step 9: Regular Monitoring and Review
Review your portfolio every 6 months to track performance.

Rebalance your portfolio to maintain the right asset allocation.

Avoid frequent fund switching, as it may impact long-term returns.

Final Insights
Starting with limited resources can feel challenging but is achievable with discipline. Build an emergency fund, manage expenses wisely, and grow your investments systematically. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to optimise your portfolio and achieve your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thinking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me ask you one thing, if you knew a plane was going to crash, would you still get on it because you are worried you will reach your destination late? No, right? Similarly, if you know this marriage could be really tough on you, with the added responsibilities of a teenager and another soon-to-be teenager, do you still want to go ahead with it, just because you might have to stay alone for a while longer?

I can't really make a decision for you, but I can urge you to rethink this alliance. It's great that you are trying to compromise but do not compromise so much that nothing that you want is given any importance. You cannot ask a father to send his child to a hostel so that you can have some privacy; similarly, no one can force you to raise him as well. The best decision would be to either reconsider the relationship or have an open conversation and come to a middle ground that works for all.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
How do I 32M get over my insecurity with 30F? (Seeking Advice) Met this girl via matrimony exactly 2 months back. We connect well. Our families have met recently and it went well. Somehow we found a lot of connections between our families. That's just a bonus. Her family likes me a lot and they wanted to do Roka when they met us last week. I had told her, that no matter our bond, we should talk a lot and give it 3 months before going for roka. We live in different metro cities and have met twice now. About her: She is 30, well behaved & spoken(most important thing for me), smart, good looking, and is extremely polite. She is an army brat, has had a lot of freedom from family. Due to her father's job, they kept getting posted to different cities so she doesn't really understand family part of things. She's in a IT job. About me: I'm 32, okayish guy, in IT. To take things ahead I need to know my partner's past. I have no judgements at all but need to know stuff. Getting to know things over time bothers me a lot. I've tried to work on it, and have always made sure I don't bother the other person too much. After a month of talking, she told me that she had a casual boyfriend for an year. All her friends were dating in Bangalore and she decided to try it out. Found a guy through bumble and started dating him. So, according to her there were no feelings, just a person for her to go to places with, have drinks, and party. She likes drinking a lot and I have never taken a sip. She said that it was just a phase and she was immature. This happened between 2018(Nov) to 2020(march). So, it's been like 5 years. Never dated anyone after that. Since covid(2020) she's been living with her parents due to wfh. I have been completely ok with that but new things surfaced and they are messing with my head. While snooping around her facebook I figured out who that person was and this guy is super close to a person in my distant family. In fact they both were flatmates until their respective marriages. This distant cousin of mine knows me and knows her really well. These 3 used to hangout a lot and he has seen her come to their flat regularly. Infact, she had a good bond with my cousin as well. There are things that bother me and I really can't shake things and feel super awful in my gut. She mentioned that she and her ex had a common love for drinking and regularly visited pubs, got drunk, and partied. This means that they would be staying at each other's place as well. This is something super old but bothers me a lot. Specifically the fact that she would be drunk partying with someone for an year and sleeping with him, with no feelings. Secondly, I found some posts where she has liked a post about this guy on fb/insta from mid-2021. I have already confronted her twice to share everything and we shall never discuss this again but this bothers me a lot. Secondly, now that I know the timelines I can figure out what photos have been taken by her ex. There's even a photo of her sitting on a messy bed, where she's cutting her bday cake. They celebrated it together. I found my cousins page and some other pages from which I knew it's the guy's room/flat. I know everyone has a past. She has come clean to me but somehow my brain is so split. Sometimes her nature and behaviour with me make me not care about anything. And then I know the bed, flat, and her actions with some guy. Then there is this angle where the ex's flatmate is my distant cousin and knows about her well.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is important for you to need to know her past and you mentioned that you merely want to know, and would not judge. But judging is exactly what you are doing. A lot of people have exes, a lot of people have occasional drinks- we can't judge people based on their past. She has opened up to you and all you are doing is snooping around. To be honest, it seems like you are really more concerned about her ex and past than about how amazing a person she is. I have only one piece of advice, if you think you can't get past her past, let her go. No one deserves to be judged by their past.

And think of it this way- you asked, and she told you. She was not obliged to, but still understanding your 'need' to know 'everything,' she confided in you. And this is how you are paying her back. Moreover, so what if she had an ex, or dated casually? How does that affect you right now? Ask yourself the same question and I think you will know the answer to your own dilemma.

Having said it all, marriage is a big decision. If you think her past can hamper your future, please rethink this relationship. It is best for both of you.

Best Wishes

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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