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35, 50k income, no savings, zero commitments: Where should I invest for 25 years?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7290 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Srinivas Question by Srinivas on Jun 14, 2024Hindi
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I am 35 and have a monthly income of 50000 and my savings are zero and all my commitment are cleared. I am ready to invest 12000 per month for the next 25 years. Can u please suggest how and where to invest.

Ans: At 35, with a monthly income of Rs. 50,000 and no current savings, you have a great opportunity to start building your financial future. Investing Rs. 12,000 per month over the next 25 years can help you achieve significant wealth. Here’s a detailed plan to guide your investments.

Investment Strategy
1. Diversified Portfolio:

Equity Mutual Funds: These funds have the potential for high returns over the long term.
Debt Mutual Funds: These funds provide stability and lower risk.
Gold: A small portion in gold can act as a hedge against inflation.
Fixed Deposits: While they offer lower returns, they add safety to your portfolio.
2. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

SIPs help in disciplined investing.
They average out market volatility over time.
Investing Rs. 12,000 monthly through SIPs will ensure regular and consistent investments.
Recommended Allocation
Equity Mutual Funds:

Allocate 60% of your investment to equity mutual funds.
This equals Rs. 7,200 per month.
Choose a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds for diversification.
Debt Mutual Funds:

Allocate 20% to debt mutual funds.
This equals Rs. 2,400 per month.
These funds provide stability and reduce overall portfolio risk.
Gold:

Allocate 10% to gold.
This equals Rs. 1,200 per month.
Invest through gold bonds or gold ETFs.
Fixed Deposits:

Allocate 10% to fixed deposits.
This equals Rs. 1,200 per month.
This provides a safety net and liquidity.
Step-by-Step Plan
1. Start with Emergency Fund:

Build an emergency fund to cover 6 months of expenses.
Use your fixed deposit allocation to build this fund initially.
2. Begin SIPs:

Set up SIPs for equity mutual funds, debt mutual funds, and gold.
Automate your investments to ensure consistency.
3. Review and Adjust:

Review your portfolio every six months.
Adjust your allocations based on performance and market conditions.
4. Increase Investment Over Time:

Aim to increase your monthly investment by 5-10% annually.
This helps in countering inflation and increasing wealth.
Choosing the Right Funds
Equity Mutual Funds:

Look for funds with a consistent track record.
Choose funds managed by experienced fund managers.
Diversify across different sectors and market capitalizations.
Debt Mutual Funds:

Opt for funds with lower credit risk.
Look for funds that invest in high-quality debt instruments.
Consider funds with a good track record of stable returns.
Gold Investments:

Prefer sovereign gold bonds for better returns.
Gold ETFs offer liquidity and ease of investment.
Additional Tips
1. Tax Planning:

Utilize tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS) for tax benefits.
ELSS funds have a lock-in period of three years but offer tax deductions.
2. Financial Discipline:

Avoid withdrawing from your investments prematurely.
Stick to your investment plan regardless of market fluctuations.
3. Knowledge and Awareness:

Stay informed about market trends and financial news.
Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice.
Final Insights
Starting your investment journey at 35 with a disciplined approach can yield significant returns over 25 years. Diversify your portfolio across equity, debt, gold, and fixed deposits to balance risk and reward. Regularly review and adjust your investments to stay on track with your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7290 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir I am 22 year old and I can invest around Rs3000 per month with better job opportunity and time period I can increase my investment amount, I want to know where I can invest my savings every month for better returns, I can invest for next 30-35 years regularly for sure. Kindly guide me where and how to invest .
Ans: That's a fantastic start! Thinking about long-term investments at your age is a smart decision. Here are some options for where you can invest your Rs.3000 per month, considering a 30-35 year investment horizon:

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) in Mutual Funds:

This is a popular option for regular investment with rupee-cost averaging. You invest a fixed amount each month, and the units are purchased based on the prevailing Net Asset Value (NAV).
Benefits:
Disciplined Investing: Encourages regular savings and avoids the need to time the market.
Rupee-Cost Averaging: Purchases more units when the NAV is low and fewer units when it's high, potentially balancing the overall cost per unit.
Long-Term Growth: Equity mutual funds have the potential for significant growth over the long term (typically 10+ years).
Investment Options:
Large-cap Funds: Invest in stocks of well-established companies with a proven track record.
Multi-cap Funds: Invest across companies of different market capitalizations (large, mid, and small).
Consider a mix of these based on your risk tolerance.
Here's how to get started with SIP in Mutual Funds:

Choose a SEBI-registered Mutual Fund Company (AMC): Research and compare different AMCs based on their performance and fund offerings.
Select a Suitable Mutual Fund Scheme: Consider your risk tolerance and investment goals.
Open an Investment Account: You can open an account with the AMC directly or through a broker/distributor.
Start your SIP: Set up a recurring transfer of Rs.3000 per month to your chosen SIP.
Additional Tips:

Increase Investment as Income Grows: As your income increases, consider raising your SIP amount to reach your financial goals faster.
Stay Invested for Long Term: Market fluctuations are normal. Don't panic and redeem your investments during downturns. A long-term horizon allows time for the market to recover and potentially generate good returns.
Review and Rebalance: Periodically review your portfolio performance (at least annually) and rebalance if needed to maintain your desired asset allocation.
Other Options to Consider:

Public Provident Fund (PPF): A government-backed scheme offering guaranteed returns and tax benefits. However, PPF has lower liquidity compared to mutual funds.
Employee Provident Fund (EPF): If you're salaried, your employer likely contributes to your EPF. This offers good long-term returns and tax benefits.
Remember:

I can't provide specific financial advice. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can be helpful, especially for a personalized investment plan considering your risk tolerance and goals.
Start with your research! Read about different investment options, mutual funds, and SIPs before making any decisions.
By starting early, investing regularly, and staying disciplined, you can build a significant corpus for your future over the next 30-35 years.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7290 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

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I am 36 years old. i want to invest rs. 7500 per month for 12 years to get per month rs. 20 thousand as a pension scheme. can you give me a suggestion where should i invest?
Ans: Your aspiration for a pension scheme is commendable, and it's wise to plan for your future financial security at an early age. Considering your age and investment horizon of 12 years, let's explore suitable options to achieve your goal.

Given your preference for a monthly pension of Rs. 20,000, you would need to accumulate a significant corpus over the investment period to ensure a sustainable income stream post-retirement.

While traditional pension plans and annuities offer guaranteed income, they may not provide optimal returns considering inflation and taxation. Additionally, they often lack flexibility and liquidity.

Instead, you may consider investing in a combination of mutual funds and other growth-oriented assets to build a substantial corpus over time. Equity-oriented mutual funds have historically delivered higher returns compared to traditional investment avenues, making them suitable for long-term wealth creation.

You can allocate a portion of your monthly investment towards equity mutual funds, which offer the potential for capital appreciation over the long term. To mitigate risk, diversify your portfolio across large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds based on your risk tolerance and investment objectives.

Simultaneously, consider investing in debt mutual funds or fixed-income instruments to provide stability and generate regular income post-retirement. These investments can serve as a source of passive income to supplement your pension.

Moreover, systematic investment planning (SIP) allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly, ensuring discipline and consistency in your investment approach. By staying invested over the long term and leveraging the power of compounding, you can potentially achieve your desired pension goal.

However, it's crucial to periodically review your investment strategy and make necessary adjustments based on changing market conditions and your evolving financial goals.

In conclusion, by adopting a diversified investment approach tailored to your risk profile and investment horizon, you can work towards realizing your goal of a monthly pension of Rs. 20,000. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice and guidance to optimize your investment strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7290 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2024Hindi
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Hello My Age is 23 and currently earning a income of 40000 per month where should I invest pls describe the amount of investment allotment also in different sectors like MF, INSURANCE, ETC. I would like to invest monthly around 20000.
Ans: Congratulations on taking the initiative to invest at a young age! Let's explore a diversified investment strategy tailored to your financial situation and goals.

Assessing Investment Allocation
Mutual Funds (MF):

Allocate a significant portion of your monthly investment towards mutual funds, considering their potential for long-term growth and diversification benefits.
Aim to invest around 60-70% of your monthly investment amount in mutual funds across various categories such as large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds.
Insurance:

While insurance is essential for financial protection, allocate a smaller portion of your investment towards insurance premiums.
Consider investing around 10-20% of your monthly investment amount in insurance policies such as term insurance for adequate coverage.
Emergency Fund:

Build an emergency fund equivalent to 3-6 months of living expenses to cover unexpected financial needs.
Allocate a portion of your monthly investment towards gradually building your emergency fund until it reaches the desired level.
Other Investments:

Explore other investment avenues such as fixed deposits, recurring deposits, or Public Provident Fund (PPF) for stable returns and tax benefits.
Allocate a small portion of your monthly investment, around 10-20%, towards these conservative investment options to ensure a balanced portfolio.
Advantages of Actively Managed Funds Over Index Funds
Actively managed mutual funds offer the expertise of professional fund managers who actively select and manage the fund's investments to outperform the market.
These funds have the flexibility to adapt to changing market conditions and capitalize on investment opportunities, potentially yielding higher returns.
Unlike index funds, which passively track a market index, actively managed funds can generate alpha through active portfolio management and security selection.
Considerations for Direct Fund Investment
While direct funds offer lower expense ratios compared to regular funds, they require active involvement in research, monitoring, and portfolio management.
Direct fund investors must possess the necessary knowledge and expertise to select suitable funds and manage their investment portfolio effectively.
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) provides access to professional guidance and personalized investment advice, enhancing the overall investment experience.
Conclusion
By following a disciplined investment approach and diversifying across various asset classes, you can build a robust investment portfolio that aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Remember to review your investments periodically and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards achieving your objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |183 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 19, 2024Hindi
Career
Hello sir I am mbbs graduated from russia in 2020,n passed with my fmge exam in india in 2021, I want to ask if i want to practice medicine or work as doctor in uk ? Is it necessary for me to pass plab exam exam? Or if i get sponsorship from any uk i will be able to work there and simultaneously i will give plab exam?? Please guide me i m so confused?
Ans: Hi, I understand that you pursued a medicine course in Russia (a non-European country) and, since you are from India, you have completed the FMGE. Now you want to practice or work in the UK as a doctor?

Based on your question, you are eligible to practice in India after completing your internship (which you haven't mentioned, but I assume you have completed it). The FMGE is essentially a licensure exam for Indian students who have completed their medical studies abroad, so you are eligible to practice in India only.

If you want to practice medicine in the UK, you need to complete the PLAB test, as you are from outside the UK/Switzerland/European countries (Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland).

You also inquired about sponsorship. Here is the information related to sponsorship for practicing medicine in the UK.
(Extracted from general medical council, uk org. )Applying for registration using sponsorship
If you apply through sponsorship, you will have to satisfy the sponsor that you possess the knowledge, skills and experience required for practising as a fully registered medical practitioner in the UK. Each sponsor has their own scheme which we have pre-approved. If you can satisfy the requirements of their scheme, they will issue you with a Sponsorship Registration Certificate (SRC) which you will need for your application with us. Please ensure this is a Sponsorship Registration Certificate for GMC registration, as we can’t accept UK visa sponsorship certificates for your application for registration.
Please note that a core part of all sponsors' criteria is that a doctor applying for an offer of sponsorship must have been engaged in medical practice for three out of the last five years including the most recent 12 months. If you cannot meet these minimum criteria, it is unlikely that you'll be able to supply sufficient evidence to support your application for sponsorship.
Doctors applying through sponsorship are required to demonstrate their English language skills by achieving our current minimum scores in the academic version of the IELTS test or the OET (medicine version).
• Alder Hey International Fellowship Scheme (Anaesthetics)
• Betsi Cadwaladr University Health Board - BCUHB IMG Sponsorship Scheme
• BAPIO Training Academy Ltd – BTA International Fellowship Scheme
• BAPIO Training Academy Ltd – International Training Programme for Postgraduate Doctors
• BAPIO Training Academy Ltd - BTA International Fellowship Scheme – Internal Medicine with interest in Oncology with MSc in Oncology
• Barking Havering and Redbridge University Hospitals NHS Trust - BHRUT Sponsorship Scheme for Overseas Doctors in Clinical Radiology
• Birmingham and Solihull Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust - International Medical Fellowship Programme in Psychiatry (Birmingham)
• Birmingham Women’s and Children’s Hospital – Birmingham Women’s and Children’s International Medical Graduate sponsorship scheme
• Bradford District Care NHS Foundation Trust - International Medical Fellowship in Psychiatry
• Cambridge IVF, Cambridge University Hospitals NHS Trust – IVF Senior Clinical Fellowship Scheme
• Cambridge University Hospital – Senior Clinical Fellowship Scheme in Intensive Care Medicine/Anaesthesia
• Canterbury Christ Church University
• Cumbria Northumberland Tyne and Wear NHS Psychiatry Fellowship Programme
• Derbyshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust - International Medical Fellowship Programme in Psychiatry
• Dudley Group NHS Foundation Trust
• East Lancashire Hospitals NHS Trust - Clinical Fellowship in Urology or Ophthalmology
• East Lancashire Hospital NHS Trust - Specialist Clinical Fellowship in Pain Management
• East London NHS Foundation Trust (ELFT) – ELFT Advanced International Fellowship in Psychiatry
• East Suffolk and North Essex NHS Foundation Trust – ICENI Centre Fellowships Programme
• Edge Hill University and Wrightington, Wigan and Leigh NHS Trust – International Training Fellowships in MCh programmes
• ENT UK – Royal College of Surgeons
• Essex Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust – EPUT Advanced Fellowship in Psychiatry
• Frimley Health NHS Foundation Trust – International Fellowship in Regional Anaesthesia combined with MSc in Principles of Regional Anaesthesia at the University of East Anglia
• Great Ormond Street Hospital International Fellowship Programme
• Guy's and St Thomas' Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – Critical Care
• Guy’s and St Thomas’ NHS Foundation Trust – International Clinical Fellowship Programme (ICFP)
• Guy's and St Thomas' Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – Obstetrics and Gynaecology
• Guy’s and St Thomas’ NHS Hospitals Foundation Trust – Oncology Specialty Training
• Guy's and St Thomas' NHS Hospitals Foundation Trust – Specialty Training in Anaesthetics
• Harefield Hospital, Royal Brompton and Harefield NHS Trust – Anaesthesia and Critical Care
• Hertfordshire Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust
• Hull University Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust – International Fellows at Hull University Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust
• Humber Teaching NHS Foundation Trust - Sponsored International Fellowship Scheme in Psychiatry
• Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust – Emergency Medicine
• Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust – Haematology
• Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust – International Anaesthesia Trainees
• Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust – Intensive Care Medicine
• Imperial College, London - Clinical Research
• King’s College Hospital NHS Trusts – International Critical Care Fellowship
• King’s College Hospital NHS Trusts – Paediatric Critical Care Fellowship
• Lancashire & South Cumbria NHS Foundation Trust - Psychiatry specialty Fellowship Scheme
• Lancashire Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust - Overseas Registrar Development and Recruitment (ORDER)
• Leeds Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust – International Fellowship Programme
• Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust – International Medical Fellowship Programme in Psychiatry
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• Northamptonshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust – International Clinical Fellowship Scheme (Psychiatry)
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• Royal College of Physicians of London
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• Sheffield Health and Social Care NHS Foundation Trust - International Medical Fellowship in Psychiatry
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• University Hospitals Bristol and Weston NHS Foundation Trust - Department of General Internal Medicine at Weston General Hospital
• University Hospitals Coventry and Warwickshire NHS Trust
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• University of Chester and Cheshire and Wirral Partnership NHS Trust – International Training Fellows Psychiatry
• University of Hertfordshire – Professional Doctorate in General Internal Medicine (Clinical MD) Programme
KINDLY NOTE: If your sponsor is not on this list then you cannot apply using sponsorship.
If you have any further questions, please visit the GMC website for more information.

WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7290 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 21, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, I follow your articles regularly and your detailed assessment is really awesome.I am 47yrs Male with wife, 20&18 years kids, elder one is in B.Tech and younger one is 12th. My wife is a home maker. Coming to financials. I have 4 houses including the one residing worth 10cr(total) and getting rental income of 70k per month, invested in stocks and MFs worth 60L, have foreign stocks of worth 1.7cr, accumulated pf around 1.3cr. I have farm lands worth 5cr. Have 1.2cr loan and salary of ~4L (net). current sips in equity 70k/month, have 5Cr term plan, health insurance for family 50L. How do I plan my retirement at 52-53years assuming 80 years life expectancy. Don't want to depend on kids and need regular income ~3-4L per month.
Ans: Asset Evaluation
Real Estate:
You own four houses worth Rs 10 crore, generating Rs 70,000 monthly rental income. This is a solid base for passive income. However, real estate can have fluctuating maintenance costs, tenant issues, and varying rental yields over time.

Stocks and Mutual Funds:
Your Rs 60 lakh investment in stocks and mutual funds is a commendable step. Active mutual funds offer professional fund management and can outperform index funds over time.

Foreign Stocks:
Your Rs 1.7 crore portfolio in foreign stocks adds geographical diversification. Monitor currency exchange fluctuations and global market trends.

Provident Fund (PF):
With Rs 1.3 crore in PF, this is a reliable retirement corpus. The fund provides fixed returns and tax benefits, adding stability.

Farm Lands:
Farm lands worth Rs 5 crore are an illiquid but valuable asset. They might not generate consistent income unless leased or developed.

Loans:
A loan liability of Rs 1.2 crore needs prioritised repayment. Focus on loans with higher interest rates first.

Insurance Coverage:
A Rs 5 crore term plan is robust. Your Rs 50 lakh health insurance is sufficient for unexpected medical emergencies.

Retirement Goals
You need Rs 3–4 lakh monthly for 27–28 years post-retirement.
The portfolio must generate steady, inflation-adjusted returns.
Action Plan for Retirement
Debt Management
Prepay High-Interest Loans:
Use a portion of your surplus income to prepay loans. This reduces interest outflow and increases your cash flow.

Avoid New Loans:
Focus on reducing existing liabilities instead of taking on new ones.

Portfolio Restructuring
Real Estate:
Retain essential properties. Sell underperforming or non-essential properties to reduce concentration in real estate. Invest proceeds in mutual funds or debt instruments for diversification.

Mutual Funds (MFs):
Increase SIPs in actively managed funds. They outperform direct funds due to guidance from Certified Financial Planners and MFDs. Regular funds offer better tracking and professional assistance.

Stocks:
Monitor direct equity investments closely. Consider reallocating underperforming stocks to mutual funds for better management.

Debt Instruments:
Invest in high-quality debt funds or fixed-income securities for stability. These instruments balance equity volatility and ensure steady returns.

SIP Strategy
Increase SIPs from Rs 70,000 to Rs 1 lakh/month.
Allocate 70% to equity funds for long-term growth.
Invest 30% in debt funds for stability and liquidity.
Emergency Fund
Maintain a 12-month expense reserve in liquid funds or fixed deposits.
This covers unexpected expenses without disturbing investments.
Income During Retirement
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Use SWPs in mutual funds to generate regular income.
Withdraw 6–8% annually from your mutual fund portfolio for a steady income stream.
Rental Income Optimisation
Review property rents regularly.
Invest part of rental income in equity or debt mutual funds for compounding.
Dividend Stocks
Retain high-dividend-yield stocks for regular income.
Reinvest surplus dividends for long-term growth.
Tax Efficiency
Equity Funds Taxation:
Long-term gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds Taxation:
Both short- and long-term gains are taxed per your income slab.

Real Estate Capital Gains:
Use exemptions under Sections 54 or 54F to save tax on property sales.

Inflation Protection
Allocate 60–70% of your portfolio to equity investments.

Equity provides inflation-adjusted returns over time.

Debt funds and fixed instruments safeguard against equity market volatility.

Estate Planning
Draft a will to allocate assets transparently among family members.
Use nomination and joint ownership to avoid legal complications.
Consider a family trust for farm lands to avoid disputes.
Periodic Review
Review your financial plan every six months.
Adjust investments based on market conditions, goals, and needs.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner regularly for updates.
Finally
A well-diversified portfolio ensures financial independence post-retirement. Focus on debt repayment, portfolio balance, and tax-efficient withdrawals. Your assets can comfortably generate Rs 3–4 lakh monthly income, adjusted for inflation.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |444 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

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Relationship
I am the eldest sibling in our families and aged 51. Normally, whenever anyone in the family has a problem - financial, mental, psychological, issue with people or anything else, they come up to discuss with me and share. Well, many would say I am lucky as people look up to me when they are in any kind of a problem. But that is not the case. Sadly no one is around with whom I can discuss or even think to share my issues, my problems. I do not have any friends. Sadly, yes, that is a fact and at my age, I dont expect that here we have a culture where we can get to making friends, at least the kind of friends with whom you can confide, share your feelings, problems. I tried and failed. Maybe because I am introvert or maybe I am too cautious. To make it more complicated, I dont work in the regular kind of job. I am a lone person who works as a freelance from home. This limits my outreach when it comes to interacting with real people. I have clients, business contacts, but I cannot get personal with them. It will never be a good choice. My wife is busy with her job + we do not have any relation beyond the daily matters related to household and it has been more than 10 years now that we live this way. Tried to sort out things with her but she just does not have time and interest (after all who wants to add on to tensions, stress). My daughter is after all my daughter - I cannot share these with her, and definitely at 10 she is too young to be one to discuss such stuff. I am not sure how far this issue can be fixed but I am hopeful to find some path here.
Ans: Dear Kevin,
Starting small can be helpful. Consider connecting with people through shared interests or hobbies, either online or in person, where the pressure to immediately open up is minimal. Online communities, local meetups, or volunteer activities can create low-stakes opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals. The goal isn’t to instantly find someone to confide in but to slowly build a sense of belonging and companionship.

Your relationship with your wife appears to be another significant source of emotional distance. While her lack of interest in deep conversations may seem like a barrier, it’s worth exploring other ways to reconnect—perhaps by spending time together in shared activities or revisiting moments that once brought you closer. Sometimes, relationships stuck in routines benefit from new experiences or even professional counseling to navigate the underlying dynamics.

Regarding your daughter, while it’s clear she cannot shoulder your emotional burdens, she can still be a source of joy and connection. Investing time in activities with her can provide a sense of fulfillment and grounding that counters loneliness.

Above all, remember that reaching out for professional support, such as therapy, is not a sign of weakness but an act of self-care. A therapist can provide a safe space to express your feelings and help you develop strategies to foster deeper connections and manage emotional isolation.

You deserve to feel supported and connected, and even if the journey to finding that seems long, every step you take toward opening up or seeking out others is a move toward a more fulfilling and less lonely existence.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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