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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 15, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2024Hindi
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Sir am 33 year old.. current taking salary of 75k net per month..and having car loan of 14 k and SIP of 8.5 k .need to save for child future,please suggest

Ans: Here are some suggestions on how you can save for your child's future with a monthly income of ?75,000, a car loan of ?14,000, and an existing SIP of ?8,500:

Analyze your current spending:

Track your expenses for a month to understand where your money goes. This will help you identify areas where you can cut back and free up additional savings for your child.
Revisit your car loan:

If possible, consider refinancing your car loan to a lower interest rate. This can free up some money each month that you can then redirect towards your child's savings.
Optimize your SIP:

Review your existing SIP and ensure it aligns with your child's future goals and your risk tolerance. You may want to consider increasing the SIP amount if there's room in your budget after accounting for other expenses.
Prioritize Child Savings:

Once you have a better understanding of your spending and have potentially reduced your car loan outgo or optimized your SIP, allocate a specific amount towards your child's savings.
Investment options for your child's future:
1. Increase Existing SIP:

Consider increasing your existing SIP in the well-diversified equity mutual fund by ?3,500 per month. This brings your total SIP contribution to ?12,000 per month. This focuses on long-term growth for your child's future.
2. Diversification with Debt Fund:

Start a new SIP in a low-risk debt fund with ?3,000 per month. This provides stability and helps manage short-term financial needs your child might have. You can choose a short-term or medium-term debt fund based on your preference for when your child might need the money.
Benefits of this approach:

Flexibility: This approach allows you to manage growth and stability within your child's savings plan. The equity SIP focuses on long-term growth, while the debt SIP provides a buffer for immediate needs.
Control: You have more control over the asset allocation. You can adjust the SIP amounts in each fund as your child grows and their financial goals become clearer.
Cost-effective: Avoiding ULIPs eliminates high fees associated with those products. Regular mutual funds generally have lower expense ratios.
Additional Tips:

Review and Rebalance: Regularly review your investment strategy and rebalance the portfolio (equity vs. debt) if needed, to maintain your desired asset allocation.
Start Early, Invest Regularly: Even small increases in SIP contributions can make a significant difference over time due to compounding.
Consider PPF or Sukanya Samriddhi (if applicable): If you're in India, explore options like Public Provident Fund (PPF) or Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (for girl child) for additional tax benefits and safe, guaranteed returns.
Remember:

Consult a financial advisor for personalized advice considering your risk tolerance and your child's age and goals.
They can recommend specific mutual funds based on your investment goals and risk profile.
By following these steps and consulting a professional, you can build a strong foundation for your child's financial future.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2024Hindi
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We are a couple earning Rs 60000 per month. My husband doesn't have any parental property. We need to save for our children and also buy house in future. We don't have child now. Please advise
Ans: Dear couple,

It's commendable that you are proactively planning for your future despite the current absence of children. Here are some steps you can take to work towards your financial goals:

Establish a Budget: Begin by creating a budget that outlines your monthly income and expenses. Identify areas where you can cut back on unnecessary spending and allocate a portion of your income towards savings and investments.

Emergency Fund: Start building an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses such as medical emergencies or job loss. Aim to save at least three to six months' worth of living expenses in a readily accessible account.

Save for Children's Future: Even though you don't have children yet, it's never too early to start saving for their future education and other needs. Consider opening a dedicated savings account or investment account specifically earmarked for your future children's expenses.

Plan for Homeownership: While homeownership may seem like a distant goal, it's essential to start saving for a down payment early on. Set a savings target for your future home and explore options such as investing in mutual funds or other suitable investment vehicles to help you reach that goal.

Explore Insurance Options: Consider investing in life insurance and health insurance policies to protect your family's financial well-being in the event of unforeseen circumstances. Compare various insurance plans to find the ones that best suit your needs and budget.

Invest for Growth: Begin investing in mutual funds or other investment instruments that offer the potential for long-term growth. Consult with a financial advisor to assess your risk tolerance and investment objectives and develop a diversified investment portfolio accordingly.

Regularly Review and Adjust: Periodically review your financial plan and make adjustments as needed based on changes in your income, expenses, and financial goals. Stay disciplined in your savings and investment approach to ensure steady progress towards your objectives.

Seek Professional Guidance: If you feel overwhelmed or unsure about your financial decisions, don't hesitate to seek advice from a qualified financial advisor. A professional can provide personalized guidance tailored to your unique circumstances and help you make informed decisions.

By taking these proactive steps towards financial planning, you can lay a solid foundation for your future family's financial security and well-being. Remember that consistency, discipline, and patience are key to achieving your long-term financial goals.

Best wishes on your journey towards financial stability and prosperity.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Sir , i am 35 yrs old earing 55k monthly , I am married and 2 son . I have no saving no sip ,my expenses are 25 k monthly so can you tell me how can I save for my child's future education .
Ans: Given your monthly income, expenses, and family responsibilities, it's essential to start saving and investing for your child's future education. Here's a simple plan to help you get started:

Budgeting and Savings:

Track Expenses: Monitor your monthly expenses to identify areas where you can reduce spending and increase savings.
Emergency Fund: Build an emergency fund equivalent to 3-6 months of expenses in a liquid and accessible form to handle unexpected expenses without tapping into your investments.
Start SIPs for Child's Education:

Investment Amount: Allocate a portion of your monthly savings towards SIPs in mutual funds to build a corpus for your child's education.
Asset Allocation: Consider a balanced allocation between equity and debt mutual funds based on your risk tolerance, time horizon, and financial goals.
Investment Duration: Start SIPs with a long-term perspective (e.g., 10-15 years) to benefit from the power of compounding and potential market growth.
Education Planning:

Calculate Future Expenses: Estimate the future cost of education for your children based on the current cost and expected inflation rate.
Investment Goal: Set a specific investment goal and target amount to achieve by the time your children reach college age.
Regular Review: Periodically review and adjust your SIPs and investment strategy to stay on track towards achieving your education savings goal.
Insurance Coverage:

Life Insurance: Ensure you have adequate life insurance coverage to provide financial security to your family in case of any unforeseen events.
Health Insurance: Invest in a comprehensive health insurance plan to cover medical expenses and ensure your family's well-being.
Recommendation:

Start Early: Begin investing as early as possible to benefit from the power of compounding and achieve your education savings goal.
Systematic Investment: Start SIPs in mutual funds to build a disciplined saving habit and accumulate wealth over time.
Financial Discipline: Maintain financial discipline, avoid unnecessary expenses, and stay committed to your investment plan to achieve your financial goals.
Consult with a financial advisor to create a personalized education savings plan tailored to your needs, helping you achieve your financial goals and secure your children's future.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 25, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, earning 45k, age 28, female, i have 2 months girl child. I have 20k emi which need to be paid till 2028, we dont have any house or gold jewelry, my husband income 10k which we use it for rent, house expense.....I'm looking for any saving scheme for my child, for myself, insurance scheme. Should i buy SGB for my child like 5 grams per year, Below is my investment plan for my child, do u have any other alternative or better option, PPF - 3000RS PER MONTH SSY-3000RS PER MONTH RD- 2000 PER MONTH FD-5000 PER MONTH for myself i didn't have any plan, can u suggest any mutual funds , sip...im really new to it. Also, my job is not permenant, mnc. So please do suggest
Ans: Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
You are doing a great job managing your finances and planning for your child's future. At 28, with a monthly income of Rs 45,000 and a significant EMI of Rs 20,000, it’s essential to plan wisely. Your husband’s income covers rent and household expenses, which is helpful. Your goal to save for your child and yourself is commendable.

Current Investment Plan for Your Child
You are considering investing in:

Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 3,000 per month
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): Rs 3,000 per month
Recurring Deposit (RD): Rs 2,000 per month
Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs 5,000 per month
Let’s evaluate and possibly improve your plan.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Advantages:

Tax Benefits: Contributions are eligible for tax deductions under Section 80C.

Safety: PPF is backed by the government, offering secure returns.

Long-Term Growth: The lock-in period ensures disciplined long-term savings.

Disadvantages:

Lock-in Period: The 15-year lock-in can be restrictive if funds are needed urgently.

Limited Liquidity: Partial withdrawals are allowed only after certain conditions are met.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY)
Advantages:

Tax Benefits: Investments, interest earned, and maturity amount are tax-free.

High Interest Rate: Generally offers a higher interest rate compared to PPF.

Dedicated for Girl Child: Helps in securing your daughter's financial future.

Disadvantages:

Lock-in Period: Funds are locked until the girl turns 21, with some conditions for withdrawal.

Limited Flexibility: Contributions need to be consistent to keep the account active.

Recurring Deposit (RD)
Advantages:

Regular Savings: Encourages disciplined savings habit with fixed monthly deposits.

Guaranteed Returns: Interest rate is fixed and returns are guaranteed.

Disadvantages:

Lower Returns: Generally offers lower returns compared to other investment options like mutual funds.

Taxable Interest: Interest earned is subject to tax, reducing the effective returns.

Fixed Deposit (FD)
Advantages:

Safety: FDs are one of the safest investment options with guaranteed returns.

Fixed Interest Rate: Provides assured returns over the tenure.

Disadvantages:

Lower Returns: Returns may not always beat inflation.

Premature Withdrawal Penalty: Withdrawing funds before maturity can attract penalties.

Additional Investment Options for Your Child
Mutual Funds via Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Advantages:

Potential for Higher Returns: Equity mutual funds have historically provided higher returns over the long term.

Flexibility: You can start with a small amount and increase it over time.

Liquidity: Mutual funds can be redeemed easily compared to PPF and SSY.

Disadvantages:

Market Risk: Returns are subject to market fluctuations.

No Guaranteed Returns: Unlike FDs, mutual funds do not guarantee returns.

Consider investing a portion of your monthly savings in balanced or hybrid mutual funds. These funds invest in both equities and debt, offering a balance of risk and return.

Insurance Scheme for Yourself
Having adequate insurance is crucial for financial security.

Term Insurance
Advantages:

High Coverage, Low Cost: Provides a significant coverage amount at an affordable premium.

Financial Security: Ensures financial protection for your family in case of an untimely demise.

Disadvantages:

No Maturity Benefit: If you survive the policy term, no benefits are paid out.
Consider taking a term insurance plan that covers at least 10-15 times your annual income.

Health Insurance
Advantages:

Medical Coverage: Covers medical expenses, reducing the financial burden during health emergencies.

Tax Benefits: Premiums paid are eligible for tax deductions under Section 80D.

Disadvantages:

Premium Costs: Premiums can increase with age and health conditions.
Ensure you have a comprehensive health insurance plan that covers your family adequately.

Investment Plan for Yourself
Mutual Funds via SIP
You mentioned you are new to mutual funds. Starting with a SIP in a balanced or hybrid fund is a good choice. Here’s why:

Advantages:

Professional Management: Fund managers make investment decisions on your behalf.

Diversification: Mutual funds invest in a diversified portfolio of stocks and bonds.

Compounding: Long-term investments benefit from the power of compounding.

Disadvantages:

Market Risk: Returns can fluctuate based on market conditions.
Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of your expenses in a savings account or liquid mutual fund. This ensures liquidity and safety for unforeseen circumstances.

Saving for Your Child’s Future
Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGB)
Advantages:

Safety: SGBs are issued by the government, ensuring security.

Interest Income: Earns interest over and above the potential capital appreciation.

Tax Benefits: No capital gains tax if held till maturity.

Disadvantages:

Lock-in Period: Has a lock-in period of 8 years, though early exit is possible after 5 years.
SGBs can be a good addition to your child’s investment portfolio for long-term growth and diversification.

Final Recommendations
PPF and SSY: Continue contributing to PPF and SSY for secure, tax-saving, long-term growth.

Mutual Funds: Start a SIP in balanced mutual funds for higher returns and diversification.

Term Insurance: Ensure you have adequate term insurance coverage for financial security.

Health Insurance: Get comprehensive health insurance for your family’s medical needs.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund for unexpected expenses.

SGBs: Invest in Sovereign Gold Bonds for diversification and potential growth.

Conclusion
Balancing your investments between secure options like PPF and SSY and growth-oriented options like mutual funds will help achieve your financial goals. Ensuring adequate insurance coverage and maintaining an emergency fund are crucial for financial stability. Your proactive approach to planning your finances is commendable. Feel free to reach out for further personalized advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, myself Pavani. My age is 34 years, I have a daughter who is 2 year old. My monthly salary is 50000. We don't have any property. I have 10 lac FD, I have insurance sum assured worth of 5 lac which will meture in 6 years . MF 1 lac, SSY account for my daughter have opened till now have 1 lac in that. Have opened Pradhan mantri pension scheme for my retirement planning. SIP 5k investing from past 10 months. I want to secure my and my daughter's future. Kindly suggest.
Ans: First, congratulations on your efforts to plan for your and your daughter's future! At 34, you have a steady monthly salary of Rs. 50,000 and a variety of existing investments. You have a 10 lakh FD, a 5 lakh insurance policy maturing in 6 years, 1 lakh in mutual funds, 1 lakh in a Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY) account for your daughter, and you're investing Rs. 5,000 per month in a SIP. Additionally, you’ve opened a Pradhan Mantri pension scheme for your retirement planning. Let’s build on this solid foundation to achieve your financial goals.

Setting Clear Financial Goals
Establishing clear financial goals is crucial. Your primary goals may include:

Securing your daughter’s education.
Building a substantial retirement corpus.
Ensuring adequate insurance coverage.
Creating an emergency fund.
By focusing on these goals, we can create a comprehensive investment strategy.

Creating a Diversified Investment Plan
Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is essential for financial security. It should cover 6-12 months of your monthly expenses. With a monthly expense of Rs. 50,000, aim for an emergency fund of Rs. 3-6 lakh. Your 10 lakh FD can act as your emergency fund, but consider moving a portion to a high-yield savings account for better accessibility.

Insurance Coverage
Ensure you have adequate insurance coverage for both life and health. A sum assured of 5 lakh is insufficient. Consider term insurance with a higher sum assured, covering at least 10-15 times your annual income. This will provide financial security to your daughter in case of any unforeseen event. Additionally, ensure you have comprehensive health insurance for yourself and your daughter.

Investment in Mutual Funds
Equity Mutual Funds
Investing in equity mutual funds can provide high returns over the long term. Allocate a portion of your monthly SIP towards diversified equity funds. These funds are managed by professionals and have the potential for significant growth. Given your current SIP of Rs. 5,000, consider increasing it as your salary grows.

Debt Mutual Funds
Debt mutual funds are less risky and provide steady returns. They invest in fixed-income securities like bonds and government securities. Allocate a part of your investment to debt funds for stability and moderate growth.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Your current SIP of Rs. 5,000 per month is a great start. SIPs help in averaging out the cost of investments and benefit from the power of compounding. Here’s a suggested allocation:

Equity Funds: Rs. 3,000 per month
Debt Funds: Rs. 2,000 per month
As your income increases, aim to gradually raise your SIP contributions.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY)
The SSY account for your daughter is an excellent initiative. It provides attractive interest rates and tax benefits. Continue contributing to this account regularly. Aim to maximize the annual contribution limit of Rs. 1.5 lakh to benefit from the compounded interest over the years.

Pradhan Mantri Pension Scheme
The Pradhan Mantri Pension Scheme is a good start for retirement planning. However, it’s essential to diversify your retirement investments. Alongside the pension scheme, invest in mutual funds and PPF (Public Provident Fund) for a balanced retirement portfolio.

Benefits of Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
A Certified Financial Planner can help you navigate your financial journey. They offer personalized advice, considering your financial goals and risk tolerance. A CFP can help you select the right mutual funds, insurance policies, and other investment options.

Personalized Advice
CFPs provide tailored financial advice. They consider factors like your income, expenses, goals, and risk appetite. This ensures your investments align with your financial objectives.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls
High-Risk Investments
Avoid high-risk investments like direct equities or speculative ventures. These can offer high returns but come with significant risks. Stick to diversified mutual funds for balanced growth.

Index Funds
Index funds simply mimic market indices. While they have lower management fees, actively managed funds can provide higher returns. Professional fund managers can make strategic decisions to outperform the market.

Direct Mutual Funds
Direct mutual funds may seem attractive due to lower costs. However, investing through a CFP ensures professional guidance. This maximizes your returns and aligns your investments with your financial goals.

Long-Term Financial Planning
Projecting Future Needs
Estimate your future financial needs, including your daughter's education and your retirement expenses. Consider factors like inflation and lifestyle changes. This helps in setting clear targets for your savings and investments.

Regular Reviews
Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure it stays on track. Market conditions change, and so should your investment strategy. Consult your CFP to make necessary adjustments based on performance and goals.

Reinvesting Matured Funds
When your insurance policy matures in 6 years, reinvest the Rs. 5 lakh in mutual funds. This will significantly boost your investment corpus. Choose a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds to balance risk and returns.

Benefits of Mutual Funds
Professional Management
Mutual funds are managed by professional fund managers. They have the expertise to select the best stocks and bonds, ensuring optimal returns. This professional management is crucial for maximizing your investments.

Diversification
Mutual funds offer diversification, spreading your investment across various assets. This reduces risk and ensures stability. A diversified portfolio is key to balanced growth and risk management.

Compounding Returns
Investing in mutual funds through SIPs leverages the power of compounding. The returns earned are reinvested, generating further returns. This significantly boosts your investment growth over time.

Financial Discipline
Budgeting
Create a monthly budget to track your income and expenses. This helps in identifying areas where you can cut costs and allocate more towards investments. Financial discipline is key to achieving your goals.

Avoiding Unnecessary Expenses
Limit unnecessary expenses and focus on essential spending. This ensures more funds are available for investments, accelerating your wealth creation and securing your and your daughter's future.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund to cover unforeseen expenses. This prevents you from dipping into your investments. An emergency fund ensures financial stability and peace of mind.

Staying Informed
Regular Updates
Stay informed about your investments by regularly checking their performance. Use financial news, market analysis, and updates from your CFP to make informed decisions. Knowledge is power in managing your investments.

Continuous Learning
Educate yourself about different investment options and market trends. Continuous learning helps in making better investment choices and understanding the financial landscape.

Feedback from CFP
Regularly seek feedback from your CFP regarding your investment strategy. They can provide valuable insights and recommendations based on market conditions and your financial goals.

Final Insights
Securing your and your daughter's future is achievable with disciplined investing and financial planning. By diversifying your investments, leveraging SIPs, and seeking professional guidance, you can effectively grow your wealth and achieve your goals. Stay informed, maintain financial discipline, and regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your objectives. Investing in a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid mutual funds will provide a balanced approach, ensuring both growth and stability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Pushpa R  |37 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Dec 27, 2024

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I HAVE CONSTIPACATION PROBLEM WICH AASAN RELIVE FROM THIS PROBLEM
Ans: Constipation can be uncomfortable, but yoga is an excellent way to stimulate digestion and relieve this issue. Here are some simple asanas you can try regularly to help improve bowel movements:

1. Pavanamuktasana (Wind-Relieving Pose)
Lie on your back and bring one knee to your chest, holding it with your hands.
Press your knee gently into your abdomen while keeping the other leg straight.
Switch legs and repeat, or do both knees together.
This pose massages your abdominal organs and promotes digestion.
2. Marjaryasana-Bitilasana (Cat-Cow Pose)
Begin on all fours.
As you inhale, arch your back (Cow Pose) and look up.
As you exhale, round your back (Cat Pose) and tuck your chin to your chest.
Repeat slowly for 8-10 breaths to massage your digestive organs and improve gut motility.
3. Malasana (Garland Pose)
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Sit with your legs straight and bend forward from your hips, reaching for your toes.
This stretches the abdominal area and stimulates digestion.
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Drink plenty of water and include fiber-rich foods in your diet.
Practice these poses daily, but avoid forcing your body into any position.
If constipation persists, consult a doctor and consider working with a yoga coach for personalized guidance.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

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Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

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Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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