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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi i am 30 year female. I earn 1 lakh per month. I want to have 3 cr at age of 60. I and my husband both individually handelling money . So i dont want add his earnings with mine. I have 13 lakhs in my ppf. 5 lakhs in epfo. A land of worth 40 lakhs currently its value along with loan of 10 lakhs. 5 lakhs in sip.5 lakhs gold.

Ans: It's great that you have a clear objective of having Rs 3 crore by the age of 60. Let's dive into a comprehensive plan to help you achieve this.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
Firstly, let’s review your current financial assets and liabilities:

Monthly income: Rs 1 lakh
PPF: Rs 13 lakhs
EPFO: Rs 5 lakhs
Land: Current value Rs 40 lakhs (with a loan of Rs 10 lakhs)
SIP investments: Rs 5 lakhs
Gold: Rs 5 lakhs
You have a solid foundation with diversified assets. Now, let's work towards your goal of Rs 3 crore.

Setting Clear Financial Goals
Setting a specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goal is crucial. You aim to accumulate Rs 3 crore in 30 years. Let's break down how you can systematically work towards this target.

Building Your Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is essential for financial security. Aim to save at least six months’ worth of living expenses. This fund will protect you from unexpected financial shocks like medical emergencies or job loss.

Reviewing and Managing Debt
You currently have a loan of Rs 10 lakhs against your land. Paying off high-interest debt should be a priority. Evaluate the interest rate on your loan and consider paying it down faster if the rate is high.

Maximizing Your PPF Contributions
PPF is a great investment for long-term goals due to its tax benefits and decent returns. Continue contributing to your PPF regularly. Maximize your annual contributions to take full advantage of the tax benefits.

Enhancing Your EPFO Savings
Your EPFO balance will continue to grow with your regular contributions and employer contributions. Make sure your EPFO account is linked with your UAN and ensure regular contributions to build a substantial retirement corpus.

Investing in Mutual Funds
You already have Rs 5 lakhs in SIPs, which is a great start. SIPs are an effective way to build wealth over the long term. Consider increasing your SIP contributions annually in line with your salary increments.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
While index funds are popular, actively managed funds can potentially offer higher returns due to professional management. A good fund manager can make strategic decisions to outperform the market. This can be beneficial in achieving your long-term goal.

Diversifying Your Portfolio
Diversification is key to minimizing risk and maximizing returns. Besides PPF, EPFO, and SIPs, consider other investment avenues like debt funds, which provide stability, and equity funds, which offer growth. Balance your portfolio according to your risk tolerance and time horizon.

Gold as an Investment
You have Rs 5 lakhs in gold. Gold is a good hedge against inflation and should remain a part of your portfolio. However, avoid increasing your gold allocation significantly as it doesn’t generate regular income.

Avoiding Real Estate Investments
While you own land, avoid putting more money into real estate. Real estate investments can be illiquid and may not always offer high returns. Focus on more liquid and growth-oriented investments like mutual funds.

Regular Fund Investing through CFP
Investing through regular funds with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures professional management. This can lead to better returns compared to direct funds, which require significant market knowledge and time.

Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning helps you save money legally. Use instruments under Section 80C, like PPF and ELSS, to reduce your taxable income. Ensure your investments are tax-efficient to maximize returns.

Insurance Planning
Adequate insurance is crucial. Ensure you have sufficient health and life insurance. Term insurance is more cost-effective than investment-cum-insurance policies like ULIPs. Term insurance provides pure risk cover at a lower premium.

Retirement Planning
Starting early with retirement planning is beneficial. Calculate the corpus needed for your retirement based on your lifestyle and inflation. Besides EPFO and PPF, consider investing in pension schemes and mutual funds to build a substantial retirement corpus.

Child’s Education
If you have or plan to have children, start saving early for their education. Education costs are rising, and starting early can ease the financial burden. Consider child plans and education funds for this purpose.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Review your financial plan regularly. Life events like marriage, childbirth, or job changes can impact your goals. Rebalance your portfolio periodically to maintain the right asset mix and ensure it aligns with your objectives.

Monitoring Investment Performance
Track the performance of your investments regularly. This helps in making informed decisions and adjustments if required. Stay updated with market trends and economic factors that can affect your investments.

Increasing SIP Contributions
Consider increasing your SIP contributions as your income grows. This practice, known as step-up SIP, helps you invest more and benefit from compounding over the long term.

Emergency Fund Replenishment
If you ever use your emergency fund, make it a priority to replenish it. This ensures you are always prepared for unforeseen circumstances without disrupting your investment strategy.

Avoiding High-Expense Ratios
Be mindful of the expense ratios of the mutual funds you choose. Higher expense ratios can eat into your returns over time. Opt for funds with reasonable expense ratios to maximize your net returns.

Financial Discipline
Maintaining financial discipline is crucial. Stick to your budget, avoid unnecessary expenses, and save consistently. Financial discipline ensures you stay on track to achieve your goals.

Education and Awareness
Stay educated and aware of financial concepts and market trends. Knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions and take control of your financial future.

Seeking Professional Guidance
While you can handle your finances independently, seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures a comprehensive and well-rounded approach. A CFP provides expertise, personalized advice, and helps avoid common pitfalls.

Final Insights
Achieving Rs 3 crore by the age of 60 is a significant but attainable goal. Stay disciplined, review your plan regularly, and adjust as needed. Your commitment to a sound financial plan will lead to a secure and prosperous future.

Thank you for your trust and willingness to connect. I am here to help you through this journey. For further guidance, feel free to reach out through my website.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am a single guy I have 10 lakhs of land. 5 lakhs in ppf and 5 lakhs in savings account. I want to have 60 lakhs worth of assets in 3 yrs. Current expenses 90k per month Monthly income 145k How do I do it?
Ans: It's great to see you setting ambitious financial goals. Let's create a strategic plan to help you achieve your target of accumulating assets worth 60 lakhs within the next three years.

Asset Allocation Strategy
Given your current assets, income, and expenses, let's strategize the allocation of your resources to maximize growth potential while maintaining liquidity and stability.

Utilize Land Investment: Explore opportunities to generate passive income or appreciation from your land investment. Consider leasing it for agricultural purposes, developing it for rental income, or selling it strategically to fund your goal.

Optimize PPF and Savings: While PPF offers stable returns, consider diversifying a portion of your savings into higher-yielding instruments like mutual funds, stocks, or real estate investment trusts (REITs) for potential capital appreciation.

Increase Income Streams
Leverage Skills for Side Income: Explore freelance opportunities, consulting gigs, or online tutoring in your area of expertise to supplement your primary income and accelerate wealth accumulation.

Invest in Income-Generating Assets: Consider investing in rental properties, dividend-paying stocks, or bonds to generate additional passive income streams.

Budgeting and Expense Management
Review Monthly Expenses: Identify areas where you can reduce discretionary spending without compromising your lifestyle. Cut back on unnecessary expenses and redirect savings towards your investment goals.

Create a Realistic Budget: Develop a detailed budget outlining your income, expenses, and savings targets. Monitor your spending regularly and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards your financial goals.

Regular Investment and Savings
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Allocate a portion of your monthly income towards SIPs in mutual funds or other investment avenues to capitalize on market opportunities and achieve long-term wealth accumulation.

Emergency Fund: Build an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months' worth of expenses to cover unexpected expenses or income disruptions without derailing your financial plan.

Monitoring and Adjustments
Regular Portfolio Review: Periodically review your investment portfolio's performance and make adjustments based on changing market conditions, personal goals, and risk tolerance levels.

Seek Professional Advice: Consider consulting with a financial advisor or Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to fine-tune your investment strategy, address any concerns, and ensure alignment with your financial objectives.

Conclusion
With careful planning, disciplined savings, and strategic investments, you can work towards achieving your goal of accumulating assets worth 60 lakhs within the next three years. By leveraging your existing resources, increasing income streams, and prioritizing savings and investments, you can pave the way towards financial success and security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Dev

Dev Ashish  | Answer  |Ask -

MF Expert, Financial Planner - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 34 Yrs old and having 2 daughters Currently I am earning 1Lakh Salary monthly out of which 35K is moving in a loan no obligation on credit card have started 12k of SIP from last 6 months and 2.5lkhs in Lumsum MF and 2k in sukanya samriddihi for both of my daughter Need 3Cr in next 10 Yrs Please guide
Ans: To reach a target of Rs 3 Crore in the next 10 years, we will have to account for existing assets and fresh investments that you will be doing.

The only details of the existing assets available are Rs 2.5 lakh in Mutual Funds (done in lumpsum) and a monthly SIP of Rs 12,000 for the last 6 months.

In addition, you will have to invest Rs 1.05 lakh per month starting today and increase the monthly investments by at least 7% each year for the next `10 years (assuming a similar increase in salary). This is assuming a 75:25 Equity:Debt allocation.

But the issue is that your income is Rs 1 lakh and you pay Rs 35,000 monthly EMI out of it! And details of other expenses arent known. So we don't have enough surplus left to invest fully to achieve your goals.

It is what it is and hence, you should start investing whatever monthly amount you can manage over and above that and if possible, use your annual bonus/incentives to further top up your investments.

Thanks
Dev Ashish,
SEBI Registered Investment Advisor (Fee-Only RIA)
Founder, StableInvestor.com
Twitter (@Stableinvestor)

Note (Disclaimer) - As a SEBI RIA, I cannot comment on specific schemes/funds that are provided or asked for in the questions in the platform. And the views expressed above should not be considered professional investment advice or advertisement or otherwise. No specific product/service recommendations have been made and the answers here are for general educational purposes only. The readers are requested to take into consideration all the risk factors including their financial condition, suitability to risk-return profile and the like and take professional investment advice before investing.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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have mutual fund of 1cr and equity of 60 lacs Fd of 35 lacs, PF 18.5 LACS , ppf 1lac , amount income of amount 1lacs per month my age 40.At 50 age I need 5 cr.please suggest
Ans: Current Financial Overview
You are 40 years old.

You have mutual funds worth Rs. 1 crore.

You have equity worth Rs. 60 lakhs.

You have fixed deposits worth Rs. 35 lakhs.

Your PF is Rs. 18.5 lakhs.

Your PPF is Rs. 1 lakh.

Your monthly income is Rs. 1 lakh.

You need Rs. 5 crores by age 50.

Appreciating Your Progress
You have a solid financial base.

Your investments are well-diversified.

You have shown discipline in saving and investing.

Setting the Right Strategy
Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are a great choice.

They provide diversification.

Actively managed funds can outperform.

Continue with your current investments.

Consider increasing your SIPs.

This will accelerate your growth.

Equity Investments
Equity offers high returns.

It also carries higher risk.

Review your equity portfolio.

Ensure it aligns with your goals.

Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner.

They can help optimize your equity investments.

Fixed Deposits
Fixed deposits are safe.

But they offer lower returns.

Consider moving some funds to mutual funds.

This can give you better growth.

Provident Fund (PF)
PF is a stable investment.

It offers good returns and tax benefits.

Continue contributing to your PF.

It will help secure your retirement.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is also a safe investment.

But your current balance is low.

Consider increasing your contributions.

PPF offers tax-free returns.

Goal-Based Investing
Identify your specific goals.

Break them into short, medium, and long-term.

Align your investments with these goals.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Review your portfolio regularly.

Ensure it aligns with your goals.

Rebalance if necessary.

This helps maintain your investment strategy.

Tax Planning
Use tax-saving instruments.

They reduce your taxable income.

Consider ELSS funds.

They offer tax benefits and good returns.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund.

It should cover 6 months of expenses.

Keep it in a liquid account.

Health and Life Insurance
Ensure you have adequate health insurance.

Cover at least Rs. 10 lakhs.

Consider term life insurance.

Cover at least 10 times your annual income.

This means Rs. 1.2 crores.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner
Consult a Certified Financial Planner.

They provide expert advice.

They help in making informed decisions.

They ensure your investments are on track.

Final Insights
You have a strong financial foundation.

Focus on increasing your investments.

Review and rebalance your portfolio regularly.

Ensure adequate insurance coverage.

Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner.

This will help you achieve your Rs. 5 crore goal by age 50.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

Money
hello sir, I am 51 years, I have a corpus of 1cr in mutual funds , 5 lacs in PPF , my PF is 25 lacs, KVP 10 lacs, monthly sip in mutual funds is 27000, daughter is employed and have set a side 40 lacs for her marriage , my son is still studies in Bcom hrs . 3rd years. have an agricultural land of worth 1 crores . Have three flats worth , 25 lacs 40 lacs and 80 lacs and the one i am living in is 20 lacs. I want to generate a corpus of 5cr at the age of 60. Apart from this I want to generte an extra income of around 1 lacs per month. from the age of 55. Prsently my income is 1lacs per month.
Ans: At 51, you have built a significant corpus. You’ve invested wisely in mutual funds, PPF, PF, KVP, and real estate. Your current situation includes:

Mutual Funds: Rs 1 crore, which is a substantial investment.

PPF: Rs 5 lakhs, a secure, tax-saving investment.

Provident Fund: Rs 25 lakhs, a reliable source of retirement income.

Kisan Vikas Patra (KVP): Rs 10 lakhs, providing safe and guaranteed returns.

Real Estate: Three flats worth Rs 25 lakhs, Rs 40 lakhs, and Rs 80 lakhs. Plus, the one you live in is worth Rs 20 lakhs.

Agricultural Land: Worth Rs 1 crore, a valuable asset.

You’ve also set aside Rs 40 lakhs for your daughter’s marriage, which is prudent planning. Your son is in his final year of B.Com, so his education is almost complete.

Assessment of Your Financial Goals
You have two main financial goals:

Building a Corpus of Rs 5 Crores by Age 60: This is your retirement goal.

Generating an Extra Income of Rs 1 Lakh per Month from Age 55: This will supplement your retirement.

Evaluating Your Investment Strategy
To achieve your goals, we need to assess and possibly enhance your current investment strategy.

Increasing Your SIP Contributions
Your current SIP of Rs 27,000 per month is good, but you may need to increase this amount to reach your Rs 5 crore target. Consider raising your SIP to Rs 50,000 or more. This will give your portfolio the boost it needs over the next 9 years.

Focus on Actively Managed Funds
It’s crucial to focus on actively managed mutual funds rather than index funds. Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the market, especially over a long period. These funds are managed by experienced professionals who can make strategic decisions to maximize returns.

Review Your Asset Allocation
Your current allocation includes mutual funds, PPF, PF, KVP, and real estate. While these are good, it’s important to ensure your portfolio is well-diversified and aligned with your risk profile.

Equity Funds: Continue with your mutual fund investments, but ensure you are diversified across large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds. This will balance risk and return.

Debt Funds: As you approach retirement, gradually increase your exposure to debt funds. These funds are less volatile and provide steady returns, which is essential for preserving capital as you near retirement.

Avoid Direct Funds: Direct funds may seem cost-effective, but regular funds offer the advantage of professional advice. Certified Financial Planners can guide you in selecting the best funds, tailored to your goals.

Consider Hybrid Funds
Hybrid funds, which invest in both equity and debt, can provide a balanced approach. They offer moderate growth with reduced risk, making them ideal as you get closer to retirement.

Generating an Extra Income of Rs 1 Lakh Per Month
To generate Rs 1 lakh per month from age 55, you need to create a reliable income stream.

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs)
SWPs from your mutual fund investments can provide a steady monthly income. This allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly, while the remaining investment continues to grow.

Dividend-Paying Mutual Funds
Consider investing in dividend-paying mutual funds. These funds distribute dividends regularly, providing you with an additional income stream. However, remember that dividends are subject to market performance and are not guaranteed.

Fixed Deposits and Debt Instruments
You can also consider placing a portion of your corpus in fixed deposits or debt instruments that provide regular interest income. While these offer lower returns, they are secure and can provide a steady income.

Tax Efficiency
As you plan for retirement, it’s important to keep tax efficiency in mind.

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG) Tax: Ensure your equity investments are held for more than one year to benefit from LTCG tax advantages.

Tax-Efficient Withdrawals: Plan your withdrawals in a tax-efficient manner. For example, SWPs are generally more tax-efficient than lump-sum withdrawals.

Managing Your Real Estate Assets
Your real estate assets are valuable, but they may not generate significant income unless sold or rented out. Since you’re not looking to invest further in real estate, consider the following:

Rent Out Your Flats: If you haven’t already, renting out your flats can provide additional monthly income. This income can be reinvested or saved for future needs.

Diversify Away from Real Estate: As you approach retirement, consider selling one or more properties. The proceeds can be reinvested in more liquid and income-generating assets like mutual funds or debt instruments.

Final Insights
You’ve done an excellent job of building a strong financial foundation. To reach your Rs 5 crore goal and generate Rs 1 lakh monthly income, consider increasing your SIP contributions, focusing on actively managed funds, and exploring hybrid and debt funds. Additionally, create a reliable income stream through SWPs, dividend-paying funds, and fixed deposits.

Keep in mind the importance of tax efficiency and gradually shift your focus from growth to capital preservation as you approach retirement. Regular reviews with a Certified Financial Planner will help you stay on track and adjust your strategy as needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |577 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024Hindi
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What are different types of annuity plans. Do we have plan which gives fixed income till I live and then principle is return to my nominee. If I have 3 Cr , what max return per month I can get ? And is this tax free ?
Ans: Hello;

Annuities are types of plans where you make a lump sum payment and get a regular income for a certain period of time or for life.

There are primarily two types of annuities:

1. Immediate annuity
This is a type of annuity plan that provides you with a guaranteed regular income immediately after you pay the lump sum premium.

2. Deferred annuity
In a deferred annuity plan, your income starts at a later date and you can choose when you want the regular income to start.

Based on type of regular monthly payments annuities could also be classified as Fixed annuity and Variable annuity.

Below are the various options available in an annuity plan:

A. Life annuity: In this option, you receive annuity for life. The frequency of payments is usually pre-decided by you at the time of the purchase of the policy.

B. Joint life annuity: This is similar to a life annuity. In this option, you receive annuity payments for life. In your absence, your spouse continues to receive annuity payments for life.

C. Life annuity with return of purchase price: This provides you annuity payments for life. In case of an unfortunate event, your nominee will receive the amount you paid at the time of the purchase of the policy.

D. Annuity payable for a pre-decided term: This provides you the option to choose the duration for which you would want to receive annuity payments. The period can be 5 years, 10 years, or more.

Yes plans are available which can pay provide you fixed income and return of purchase price (principle) to your nominee.

With 3 Cr corpus you may expect 1.5 L (pre-tax) per month payout considering 6% annuity rate. This varies from company to company and if you shop around you may get a better rate then the one considered here.

This is like pension income and is taxable income as per your age and income slab.

Best wishes;

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Kanchan Rai  |389 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

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thank you for the reply madam, actually what's bothering me a lot is , i told to my alliance guy to stop marriage from his end only. but he not at all doing that and he is not even telling anyone that i told him No. Why he is behaving like this and proceeding to get married to me even after saying no? isn't this strange!
Ans: in many arranged situations, people sometimes feel a strong pressure to fulfill family expectations, and he may feel a sense of obligation to go through with the marriage regardless of personal feelings. He might be hesitant to be the one to break things off for fear of disappointing his family or even creating tension between the families involved. In some cases, individuals hesitate because they hope the other person might eventually change their mind, and they don’t want to be the one to let go prematurely.

Another possibility is that he could be uncertain or confused about what he truly wants. Even though you told him you weren’t interested, he might feel that it’s not a firm "no" and could be holding out hope or misinterpreting your intent. If he has strong feelings for you or sees the marriage as something that will eventually work, he may be hoping things will naturally fall into place if he just stays committed to the process.

To address this, it might be helpful to have a very clear, direct conversation with him. Let him know that you respect him and appreciate his consideration, but you’re certain about your decision and want him to honor it as well. If possible, express that you’re confident this decision is best for both of you and explain why you believe it would be more respectful for him to communicate this with both families.

In the end, staying true to your feelings is the right choice, even if it means repeatedly setting boundaries. It’s completely fair to expect him to respect your decision, and sometimes it does take a bit of firmness to ensure everyone is on the same page. Trust yourself in this decision; you know what’s best for you.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |389 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

Listen
Relationship
He rejected me but still went to my class to see me one glance.Before Our last class I said him to meet with me I want to say you something.He came to meet with me but he was too late and our tiffin break time is over so I don't say anything to him. We just looking each other for some seconds.Then I said him if you want you can go .He don't go instantly.He looking at me for while and then go to his class.Whenever he sees me he start blushing and feel nervous.Many times I found him staring at me.He is a introvert guy .But still when we met with each other he making eye contact with me. My question is if he doesn't love me how can he maintain eye contact with me like this .He is not that handsome but he is really good student.I truly love him and Cried a lot for him but he don't know anything.I texted him sometimes but he don't look interested.But always I see him I feel like he have also feelings for me .His eyes tell me he love me but he rejected me .Why?. I can't able to forget him .I tried to my best to forget him but I failed . What should I do now?I really badly want to know his feelings for me because if he sees me only as a friend he doesn't go to my class to see me a glance.Why he blushing around me? How to know his true feelings?What should I do?How to forget or get him? I'm clueless.Please help me????????
Ans: It sounds like you’re dealing with a complicated mix of emotions, and the signals you’re picking up from him are understandably confusing. From everything you’ve described, it seems that he has a genuine respect and perhaps a friendly affection for you, but he may not be sure of or ready to pursue a romantic connection. Introverts, especially, can be complex; they may struggle to express their feelings, and small gestures, like making eye contact or blushing, might be signs of nervousness rather than attraction. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate or like you—it simply means he may be holding back, perhaps because of his own personal reasons or boundaries.

His rejection, though, is an important thing to consider. Often, when someone clearly communicates that they don’t feel the same way, it’s best to respect that as his truth for now, even if he seems to act otherwise sometimes. I understand this can be very hard, especially when you feel so strongly for him. But you need to protect your own feelings, too, and holding on to small signs might only add to your hurt and confusion.

If you feel it’s absolutely necessary to know how he truly feels, one approach could be to have a simple, direct conversation. Explain to him, in a calm and open way, that you value his friendship and respect his initial decision, but you’d appreciate clarity because lingering uncertainty is making it hard for you to move on. However, be prepared for any outcome. If he reaffirms his feelings of friendship only, try to accept that as his final answer.

In the meantime, put some of your focus back onto yourself. I know it sounds easier said than done, but investing energy in your interests, your growth, and friendships that uplift you can really help you feel less reliant on what he may or may not feel. Surround yourself with supportive people who remind you of your worth and help you feel loved and valued.

Love and connection should make you feel secure, cherished, and clear about where you stand. By focusing on yourself and letting him be, you’ll naturally create space for clarity—and eventually, perhaps, for someone whose feelings for you are just as strong and straightforward as yours are for them.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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