Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

He Rejected Me, But Still Looks at Me: What's Going On?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |405 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Mahjabin Question by Mahjabin on Oct 29, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

He rejected me but still went to my class to see me one glance.Before Our last class I said him to meet with me I want to say you something.He came to meet with me but he was too late and our tiffin break time is over so I don't say anything to him. We just looking each other for some seconds.Then I said him if you want you can go .He don't go instantly.He looking at me for while and then go to his class.Whenever he sees me he start blushing and feel nervous.Many times I found him staring at me.He is a introvert guy .But still when we met with each other he making eye contact with me. My question is if he doesn't love me how can he maintain eye contact with me like this .He is not that handsome but he is really good student.I truly love him and Cried a lot for him but he don't know anything.I texted him sometimes but he don't look interested.But always I see him I feel like he have also feelings for me .His eyes tell me he love me but he rejected me .Why?. I can't able to forget him .I tried to my best to forget him but I failed . What should I do now?I really badly want to know his feelings for me because if he sees me only as a friend he doesn't go to my class to see me a glance.Why he blushing around me? How to know his true feelings?What should I do?How to forget or get him? I'm clueless.Please help me????????

Ans: It sounds like you’re dealing with a complicated mix of emotions, and the signals you’re picking up from him are understandably confusing. From everything you’ve described, it seems that he has a genuine respect and perhaps a friendly affection for you, but he may not be sure of or ready to pursue a romantic connection. Introverts, especially, can be complex; they may struggle to express their feelings, and small gestures, like making eye contact or blushing, might be signs of nervousness rather than attraction. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate or like you—it simply means he may be holding back, perhaps because of his own personal reasons or boundaries.

His rejection, though, is an important thing to consider. Often, when someone clearly communicates that they don’t feel the same way, it’s best to respect that as his truth for now, even if he seems to act otherwise sometimes. I understand this can be very hard, especially when you feel so strongly for him. But you need to protect your own feelings, too, and holding on to small signs might only add to your hurt and confusion.

If you feel it’s absolutely necessary to know how he truly feels, one approach could be to have a simple, direct conversation. Explain to him, in a calm and open way, that you value his friendship and respect his initial decision, but you’d appreciate clarity because lingering uncertainty is making it hard for you to move on. However, be prepared for any outcome. If he reaffirms his feelings of friendship only, try to accept that as his final answer.

In the meantime, put some of your focus back onto yourself. I know it sounds easier said than done, but investing energy in your interests, your growth, and friendships that uplift you can really help you feel less reliant on what he may or may not feel. Surround yourself with supportive people who remind you of your worth and help you feel loved and valued.

Love and connection should make you feel secure, cherished, and clear about where you stand. By focusing on yourself and letting him be, you’ll naturally create space for clarity—and eventually, perhaps, for someone whose feelings for you are just as strong and straightforward as yours are for them.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024
Relationship
in Uni. a girl have feelings for me and i also have feelings for him, are feelings are strong, she try to caught my attention for long and i ignore her due to some reasons, than she went in relationship with other guy but still looks at me with hope and gives me green signal, when i purpose and apologize she took one whole day to reply and said no, and block me, and than she gives the mix signal like getting nervous infront of me, than our education program cam to end, and in farewell she show interest, and smile and try to maintain the eye contact which i broke twice, than in farewell she made glimpse on me and when she conform that i am looking at him in farewell she dancing in farewell like nothing matters for him, next day during last exam i am waiting for him outside the exam hall, her friend came and in signal me to move from there, after that we parted because our program have ended, and in confession group i apologize to her and said i will approach her after a year when i sort mu all the issues, but she don't reply instead she start mirroring insta bio, put same things and quote in her bio which i had put despite the fact i said him that i will approach her after a year, and she keep the bio mirroring, i send her following request which she don't accept and keep the bio mirroring, what should i do, I have some disease from which i suffering and i don't want her to suffer with me, but i am also recovering very fast that's why i told her to wait for me for 1 year, so that we start our new journey. WHAT SHOULD I DO WAIT FOR HER
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Either one of two things is happening- you are reading her intentions wrong because so far she has made no verbal confirmation of her interest in you. Or, she is deliberately giving you mixed signals to manipulate you and keep you on the hook. I'd say the first one might be an honest mistake but the second comes very close to a toxic trait. I'd suggest you to be careful in dealing with this person. If she does not directly admit that she is interested in you, do not approach her. Consider her blocking and rejecting you as a final NO, even if it might not be so. Do the right thing, even if she isn't.

If she likes you, let her approach you. If that doesn't happen, focus on moving on. After all, you have not been in a relationship or have deep emotions for her. From what you have said, it seems like you barely know her. You deserve someone who is clear about their feelings for you.
Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Pradeep

Pradeep Pramanik  |186 Answers  |Ask -

Career And Placement Consultant - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Listen
Career
I am looking for a job, I had uploaded my resume in job site. A consultant called me & introduced himself telling he know some of the openings. He had a detailed discussion about my job & my skills. He told need to register to his consultancy for scheduling interview. I registered with him & he got me a interview. Interview was done by the company through skype. I could not see the company persons. They told only they can see me. Interview went on well & regarding salary I told my expectation but they told it is not possible & they told their proposal. Finally I agreed to them. They gave me code & told to visit the company for next round. Consultant called me after first round & told recruiter is very happy with the interview. Regarding salary he told why I agreed for the proposal,he will discuss again & asked to pay charges for some of his services which he will refund the day I visit to the company & take the orders. I paid him. He told there is a increase in salary he has discussed with recruiter & again asked for the money I did only partial payment & further will not pay anything. Second round also happened through skype instead of in person. Interview went on well & salary offered was good comparing to before & there was a big jump. Recruiter told they have planned to give additional responsibilities so they have increased. Finally they gave me a date to visit company. I asked when will I get the order, he replied he will send to consultant as I was taken by them. Till now i did not get the orders, consultant is keep on postponing. Now he told visit to company date is also postponed, he will update in next week & not to worry as job is confirmed. Now not understanding what to do, am I been cheated or wait.
Ans: Dear Mr. Keshava ,

There are many unscruplous job agents who are fake and claim themselves to be a Placement consultant. In short You have been cheated . Before paying any fee for registration , you must ensure that the agency is genuine . If not don't even upload your resume . You may write to company , lodge a complaint against the agency. If the amount is very high , pl. take the help of police . .

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7097 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Listen
Money
I hv started sip in 2008 and still continued , now the monthly sip is 55k and total value is 1.85cr. Need to accumulate 7cr with in next 4 yrs pls guide how can i achieve. - Deepak J. Hajari
Ans: Deepak, your long-term SIP discipline is impressive. Accumulating Rs. 7 crore in 4 years is ambitious. Achieving this goal requires a strategic approach, as time is limited. Let's create an actionable plan for your success.

Current Financial Snapshot
Ongoing SIPs: Rs. 55,000 monthly.
Current Portfolio Value: Rs. 1.85 crore.
Target Corpus: Rs. 7 crore within 4 years.
Your consistent investing habits have built a solid foundation. However, to achieve your target, adjustments are needed.

Key Challenges
Short Time Frame: Four years is a limited period for aggressive wealth accumulation.
Significant Gap: A gap of Rs. 5.15 crore remains to meet the Rs. 7 crore goal.
Market Volatility: Equity investments might face short-term volatility.
Recommendations to Bridge the Gap
1. Increase Your SIP Contributions
Raise your SIP amount to Rs. 1.25 lakh per month.
This increase ensures faster wealth creation through compounding.
Prioritise high-growth funds in equity-oriented categories.
2. Invest Lump Sum Amounts
Consider deploying a lump sum if you have idle savings or low-yield investments.
Invest in aggressive equity mutual funds for higher potential returns.
Break down the lump sum into tranches for better market timing.
3. Diversify into High-Growth Mutual Funds
Focus on small-cap and mid-cap mutual funds for higher growth potential.
Maintain a balance with some large-cap exposure for stability.
Ensure the portfolio aligns with your high-return requirements.
4. Avoid Overexposure to Debt or Low-Yield Instruments
Limit debt investments during this aggressive growth phase.
Avoid instruments like FDs or debt mutual funds with lower returns.
Rely on equity for the next four years to maximise growth.
5. Rebalance Your Portfolio Regularly
Conduct a portfolio review every 6 months.
Reallocate funds based on underperforming or outperforming sectors.
Keep your portfolio aligned with market trends and your goals.
6. Capitalize on Bonus or Windfall Gains
Direct any bonuses, salary hikes, or windfall gains towards your target.
Avoid unnecessary expenses during this focused phase.
Tax Efficiency Matters
Equity Mutual Funds Taxation: Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Debt Mutual Funds Taxation: Taxed as per your income slab.
Plan redemptions strategically to minimise tax liabilities.
Leverage Market Opportunities
Benefit from Market Corrections: Use corrections as opportunities to invest lump sums.
Stay Invested for Compounding: Avoid early redemptions to let compounding work fully.
Role of Regular Monitoring
Track Performance: Ensure funds are performing as per expectations.
Switch Funds if Needed: Shift from underperforming funds to high-growth options.
Final Insights
Deepak, achieving Rs. 7 crore in 4 years requires aggressive yet calculated strategies. Increase your SIPs, deploy lump sums, and focus on high-growth funds. Regular monitoring and disciplined investing are key to your success. Stay patient and consistent.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7097 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I am 50 yrs old. If I invest 60k per month for 10 yrs in SIPs of MF then will I be able to achieve the corpus of Rs. 2.50 Crs and if not how much shall I invest per month and in which SIP schemes
Ans: You have a clear goal to invest Rs. 60,000 per month for 10 years. The goal is to accumulate Rs. 2.5 crore through mutual fund SIPs. Let us analyse your query in detail and provide actionable insights.

Evaluating the Feasibility of Your Investment Plan
10-Year Time Frame:
Ten years is a medium-term horizon. Equity-based mutual funds offer good growth potential for this period.

Monthly SIP Contribution:
A SIP of Rs. 60,000 is significant. It shows your commitment to wealth creation.

Target Corpus Analysis:
The target of Rs. 2.5 crore depends on consistent returns. Market performance influences results.

Expected Returns:
Equity funds can give 10%-12% annualised returns in the long run. However, returns are not guaranteed.

Is Rs. 60,000 Sufficient?
Your current contribution may not be sufficient to reach Rs. 2.5 crore in 10 years.

For 10%-12% Returns:
You might accumulate Rs. 1.9–2.1 crore. There could be a shortfall of Rs. 40–60 lakh.

Solution:
Increase your SIP amount to Rs. 75,000–80,000 monthly for a better chance of achieving the goal.

Optimising Your SIP Contributions
Step-Up SIPs:
Increase your SIP amount by 5%-10% every year. This adjusts for inflation and higher earnings.

Lump Sum Boost:
If you have surplus funds, invest a lump sum. This accelerates your goal.

Diversify Investments:
Allocate across equity and hybrid funds for balanced growth and risk management.

Selecting the Right SIP Investments
Actively managed funds are suitable for your goals. Avoid index funds due to their limitations.

Equity Funds for Growth:
These funds have high growth potential over 10 years.

Diversified Portfolio:
Choose funds across large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap categories. This spreads risk effectively.

Hybrid Funds:
Hybrid funds provide stability by balancing equity and debt investments.

Avoiding Direct Funds
Investing through direct funds might seem cost-effective but has drawbacks.

Limited Guidance:
Direct funds lack professional advice. This could lead to suboptimal fund choices.

Benefits of Regular Plans:
A Certified Financial Planner ensures proper fund selection and portfolio review.

Managing Tax Implications
Understanding taxation helps optimise your returns.

Long-Term Gains:
LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. Plan redemptions strategically.

Short-Term Gains:
STCG on equity is taxed at 20%. Avoid frequent withdrawals to minimise this tax.

Hybrid Funds Taxation:
Gains from hybrid funds are taxed as per your income slab.

Steps to Achieve Rs. 2.5 Crore
Increase SIP Amount:
Raise your SIP to Rs. 75,000–80,000 monthly.

Review Annually:
Monitor portfolio performance and adjust investments.

Use a Balanced Strategy:
Combine equity funds with hybrid funds to optimise risk and return.

Seek Professional Help:
Work with a Certified Financial Planner to refine your plan.

Final Insights
Your goal of Rs. 2.5 crore in 10 years is achievable with adjustments. Increase your SIP amount and maintain discipline. Diversify investments and periodically review the portfolio. A Certified Financial Planner can guide you for maximum efficiency and clarity.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7097 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 19, 2024Hindi
Money
Im a 34 year old, my father is planning on selling a property from which he would provide me with a gift of 1 Crore. At the moment , since my business has not launched, I would like to be earning interest from the Corpus amount and would also like to have a withdrawal of around 40-50K per month. Im very new to investing, and all i know is , getting half baked answers just isnt worth it. So im asking the experts, what is a realistic return that I could hope for? Provided its invested into mutual funds and debt funds. I would like to protect the corpus and make it grow while also trying to a withdrawal of 50-k per month.
Ans: Firstly, it's fantastic that you're approaching your investment decisions with a clear goal in mind. Receiving a gift of Rs 1 Crore from your father is a significant opportunity. Your desire to earn regular income while protecting and growing the principal corpus is a smart approach, especially given the current stage of your business. Let’s explore a realistic strategy for achieving your goal of monthly withdrawals while ensuring long-term growth.

Key Objectives
Preserve the Corpus: Ensuring the Rs 1 Crore grows steadily and does not erode.
Generate Monthly Income: Aiming for Rs 40,000–50,000 monthly withdrawals to meet your cash flow needs.
Balanced Risk: A mix of investments in mutual funds and debt funds to balance growth with security.
Types of Funds to Consider
To achieve your objectives, the portfolio needs to include a mix of debt and equity mutual funds. Here’s an overview of each option:

1. Debt Funds (Low-Risk)
Debt funds are ideal for stability. They typically offer steady returns with lower volatility. These funds invest in bonds, government securities, and corporate debt.

Stability: They offer relatively stable returns with low risk to the principal.
Monthly Income: Debt funds with monthly income plans (MIPs) can provide regular payouts.
Expected Returns: Historically, debt funds return 7-9% annually, depending on the type and tenure of the bonds they invest in.
2. Equity Mutual Funds (Moderate to High-Risk)
Equity funds invest in stocks and can offer higher returns, but with more volatility. Over the long term, they have the potential to outperform debt funds, though there can be short-term fluctuations.

Growth Potential: Equity funds are essential for capital appreciation.
Risk Profile: Equity mutual funds carry more risk but can provide higher long-term returns.
Expected Returns: Historically, equity funds can offer 10-15% returns per annum, depending on market conditions and fund management.
Expected Return and Withdrawal Strategy
Given your goal of withdrawing Rs 40,000–50,000 monthly (Rs 4.8–6 lakh annually), let’s assess a realistic return scenario:

1. Required Returns for Monthly Withdrawal
To generate Rs 4.8–6 lakh annually, you need to have a combination of income and growth.
Assumption: You need a mix of debt and equity funds. If you target an average return of 8-9% per annum from debt and equity, your portfolio should generate enough income.
2. Risk-Return Balance
Debt Funds: These funds will give stability and a guaranteed income, but at a lower return rate.
Equity Funds: These can help grow your corpus and offer a better chance of increasing the monthly withdrawal amount over time.
3. Potential Returns Based on Allocation
50% Debt Funds: Target return of 7-8% annually.
50% Equity Funds: Target return of 12-14% annually.
This balanced approach provides income and growth, helping you meet your withdrawal goal while maintaining long-term growth.

Portfolio Structure Suggestions
1. Debt Fund Allocation (50%)
Why Debt?: Debt funds offer lower risk and more predictable returns, making them suitable for generating a steady income.
Types of Debt Funds to Consider:
Corporate Bond Funds: These offer better returns than government bond funds, but at slightly higher risk.
Short-Term Debt Funds: These funds invest in short-term instruments and are less sensitive to interest rate changes.
Monthly Income Plans (MIPs): These funds are specifically designed to provide monthly payouts, offering an income stream.
2. Equity Fund Allocation (50%)
Why Equity?: Equity funds will provide higher returns and help your corpus grow over time. They are necessary for long-term wealth creation.
Types of Equity Funds to Consider:
Large-Cap Funds: These invest in well-established companies with a stable growth record.
Flexi-Cap Funds: These funds invest across all market caps, allowing flexibility to choose the best opportunities.
Hybrid Funds: A mix of debt and equity, hybrid funds are suitable for balancing risk and return.
Tax Considerations for Your Portfolio
Mutual fund investments are subject to taxes on the capital gains.

Equity Funds:
Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG): If held for more than 1 year, LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG): If sold within 1 year, STCG is taxed at 15%.
Debt Funds:
LTCG: If held for more than 3 years, debt fund gains are taxed at 20% with indexation benefits.
STCG: If sold within 3 years, gains are taxed according to your income tax slab.
You should plan your withdrawals in a way that balances both income generation and tax efficiency.

Risk Management and Capital Preservation
Your focus on preserving the corpus is essential. While debt funds provide safety, equity funds add the potential for capital appreciation. To protect your capital:

Diversify Across Different Asset Classes: Ensure a mix of debt, equity, and hybrid funds.
Review Portfolio Regularly: Market conditions change, and it’s important to keep your portfolio aligned with your risk tolerance and financial goals.
Avoid Overconcentration: Don’t put all your funds into one type of asset. Spread your investments across sectors and instruments.
Steps to Implement Your Strategy
1. Choose Mutual Funds Through an MFD with CFP Credentials
Why?: Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures your investments are aligned with your long-term goals and risk profile.
Avoid Direct Funds: While direct funds have lower expense ratios, you miss out on valuable advisory support. An MFD offers curated fund selection, tax advice, and regular portfolio reviews.
2. Start with a 50-50 Debt-Equity Split
Debt: Focus on short-term and MIPs for income generation.
Equity: Invest in large-cap or flexi-cap funds for long-term growth.
3. Monitor and Rebalance
Rebalance your portfolio annually based on market performance and changing needs.
Adjust debt and equity allocations depending on your withdrawal requirements and market conditions.
Final Insights
With Rs 1 Crore, you can generate enough income for your monthly withdrawals while allowing your money to grow. A balanced approach of 50% debt funds and 50% equity funds is a realistic strategy to achieve this. Your investment portfolio will ensure that you have both stability and growth, helping you meet your cash flow needs while protecting and growing your corpus.

It's crucial to engage with a Certified Financial Planner to tailor the investment strategy to your exact needs. Their expertise will help you make better decisions for both tax efficiency and long-term wealth creation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x