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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7741 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 26, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 30, 2023Hindi
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Hi sir, Now I am 24 and I need a fix monthly income of 3+ lakhs by the age of 50 yrs. How much did I need to invest on monthly basis?

Ans: Achieving a fixed monthly income of Rs 3 lakhs by the age of 50 is a commendable goal. Given your current age of 24, you have a 26-year investment horizon. This long-term horizon allows for strategic planning and disciplined investing to reach your target.

Understanding Your Financial Goal
To generate a fixed monthly income of Rs 3 lakhs, you need a substantial retirement corpus. The exact amount will depend on the assumed rate of return and inflation. Generally, a well-planned investment strategy can help achieve this target.

Importance of Starting Early
Starting your investments early is beneficial. Compounding plays a crucial role in wealth accumulation. The longer your money is invested, the more it grows, making it easier to achieve your financial goals.

Estimating the Required Corpus
A fixed monthly income of Rs 3 lakhs translates to Rs 36 lakhs annually. Assuming a conservative withdrawal rate of 4%, you would need a retirement corpus of approximately Rs 9 crores. This corpus can sustain withdrawals while preserving capital.

Monthly Investment Requirement
To reach a corpus of Rs 9 crores in 26 years, regular and disciplined investments are essential. Based on historical returns of diversified equity mutual funds, you can estimate the required monthly investment. Assuming an annual return of around 12%, you need to invest a significant amount monthly.

Choosing the Right Investment Avenues
Diversification is key to managing risk and achieving stable returns. Here are some recommended investment options:

Equity Mutual Funds: These funds offer high returns over the long term. Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds to balance risk and return.

Hybrid Funds: These funds invest in both equity and debt. They provide stability and moderate returns, making them suitable for long-term goals.

Debt Funds: While offering lower returns, debt funds provide stability. They should form a smaller portion of your portfolio to reduce overall risk.

The Benefits of SIPs
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) are an effective way to invest regularly. SIPs help in rupee cost averaging and reduce the impact of market volatility. Investing a fixed amount monthly ensures disciplined savings and wealth accumulation.

The Role of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds are preferable over index funds for long-term goals. Fund managers actively select securities to outperform the market. This active management can potentially provide higher returns, aiding in faster accumulation of the required corpus.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds require self-management and in-depth market knowledge. Without professional guidance, it can be challenging to make informed investment decisions. Investing through regular funds with the assistance of a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) and a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers professional advice and personalized strategies.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Regularly review your investment portfolio to track performance. Rebalance your portfolio periodically to maintain the desired asset allocation. This involves shifting investments from overperforming to underperforming assets to stay aligned with your financial goals.

Professional Guidance
Engage with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice. A CFP can help in selecting the right funds, managing risks, and ensuring that your investment strategy aligns with your long-term financial goals.

Inflation and Its Impact
Inflation erodes purchasing power over time. Your investment strategy should aim for returns that outpace inflation. Equity investments generally offer inflation-beating returns, making them essential for long-term wealth creation.

The Importance of Financial Discipline
Consistency is crucial in achieving financial goals. Stay committed to your investment plan, even during market downturns. Financial discipline ensures steady progress towards your target corpus.

Building a Contingency Fund
Maintain a contingency fund to handle unexpected expenses. This ensures that your primary investments remain intact, and you don’t have to liquidate assets prematurely.

Tax Planning
Consider the tax implications of your investments. Opt for tax-efficient investment options to maximize returns. Long-term capital gains from equity funds are tax-advantaged, making them a suitable choice for long-term goals.

Conclusion
Achieving a fixed monthly income of Rs 3 lakhs by the age of 50 is attainable with disciplined investing and strategic planning. Start early, diversify your investments, and seek professional guidance. Regular review and rebalancing of your portfolio will ensure you stay on track and maximize your returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Sanjeev Govila  |458 Answers  |Ask -

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Sir I am going to retire in next 3yrs. How much amount I need so that I can get monthly income of Rs70000. And where I should invest those money. Please advice
Ans: To calculate how much money you need to retire with a monthly income of Rs. 70,000, we need to know the following:

Your current age
Your desired retirement age
Your expected rate of return on your investments
Your desired lifestyle in retirement

Assuming that you are currently 51 years old, plan to retire at age 54, have a life expectancy of 20 years after retirement, and expect a 6% rate of return on your investments, you would need to have a retirement corpus of Rs. 75 lacs approx as of now which become approx. 1 Cr. after the 3 years at the time of your retirement to generate a monthly income of Rs. 70,000 for 20 years after retirement upto the age of 74 years.

As for where to invest your money, there are a number of options available, depending on your risk tolerance and investment goals. Some popular options include:

• Senior citizen savings scheme (SCSS): This is a government-sponsored savings scheme that offers a guaranteed interest rate of 8.2% per annum.
• Post office monthly income scheme (POMIS): This is another government-sponsored savings scheme that offers a monthly income to investors. The current interest rate is 7.40% per annum.
•Annuity plans: Annuity plans provide investors with a guaranteed income stream for a set period of time or for life.
• Debt mutual funds: Debt mutual funds invest in a variety of fixed-income securities, such as government bonds and corporate bonds. They offer relatively low risk and stable returns.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7741 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 30, 2023Hindi
Money
I need monthly income of 3 lakh post 65 yrs age and I am 50 now with allocation of 25 lakhs in mutual fund. In flexicap smallcap and midcap kindly suggest how much more I need to invest
Ans: Planning for a Monthly Income of Rs 3 Lakh Post-Retirement

Planning for retirement requires careful consideration and strategic financial planning. At 50, you have 15 years until you reach 65. To ensure a monthly income of Rs 3 lakh post-retirement, it's essential to assess your current investments and future needs.

Current Investment Assessment
You currently have Rs 25 lakh allocated in mutual funds, spread across flexicap, smallcap, and midcap funds. These funds have different risk levels and growth potentials. Understanding their roles and expected returns is crucial.

Understanding Flexicap Funds
Flexicap funds invest in companies of all market capitalizations. They offer flexibility to the fund manager to switch between large, mid, and small-cap stocks. This diversification can potentially provide balanced returns with moderate risk. For long-term goals, flexicap funds are beneficial.

Understanding Smallcap Funds
Smallcap funds invest in smaller companies with high growth potential. These funds are more volatile but can offer higher returns. Investing in smallcap funds is suitable for aggressive investors who seek significant growth over a long period.

Understanding Midcap Funds
Midcap funds invest in medium-sized companies. These companies have growth potential but are less risky than smallcap companies. Midcap funds provide a balance between risk and return, making them suitable for investors with a moderate risk appetite.

Calculating Future Needs
To achieve a monthly income of Rs 3 lakh post-retirement, we need to consider inflation and the expected rate of return on your investments. Assuming an average annual inflation rate and a conservative rate of return will help in estimating the future corpus required.

Evaluating Current Corpus and Gap
Your current corpus of Rs 25 lakh is a good start. However, we need to assess the gap between this amount and the required corpus. By estimating the future value of your current investments and the additional investments needed, we can determine how much more you need to invest.

Regular Investments and Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
One effective way to build the required corpus is through Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs). SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly, benefiting from rupee cost averaging and compounding. For a 15-year horizon, SIPs in flexicap, smallcap, and midcap funds can help you achieve your retirement goals.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have fund managers making strategic investment decisions. They aim to outperform the market by selecting high-potential stocks. For long-term investors, actively managed funds can provide higher returns compared to passive index funds.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds passively track a market index and do not aim to outperform it. They lack the strategic decision-making of actively managed funds. For investors looking for higher returns and active management, index funds may not be the best choice.

Benefits of Regular Plans Over Direct Plans
Regular plans offer the guidance of a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) and a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). They provide expert advice, continuous support, and portfolio management. Direct plans, while lower in cost, require investors to manage their investments independently, which can be challenging without in-depth knowledge.

Adjusting Your Portfolio
As you approach retirement, adjusting your portfolio to reduce risk is crucial. A Certified Financial Planner can help in rebalancing your portfolio. This ensures that your investments remain aligned with your retirement goals.

Importance of Diversification
Diversification spreads your investment across different asset classes, reducing risk. By investing in a mix of flexicap, smallcap, and midcap funds, you achieve a diversified portfolio. This helps in mitigating the impact of poor performance in any single asset class.

Estimating Additional Investments
To achieve the desired monthly income, we need to calculate the additional investments required. This involves considering the future value of your current investments and the expected returns. A Certified Financial Planner can assist in creating a detailed investment plan.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Regularly reviewing and rebalancing your investment portfolio is essential. It ensures that your investments stay on track to meet your financial goals. A Certified Financial Planner can help in making necessary adjustments and provide ongoing support.

Conclusion
Achieving a monthly income of Rs 3 lakh post-retirement requires strategic planning and disciplined investing. Your current investment of Rs 25 lakh in flexicap, smallcap, and midcap funds is a good start. However, you will need to invest more to bridge the gap.

Investing through SIPs in actively managed funds, benefiting from professional guidance, and maintaining a diversified portfolio will help you achieve your retirement goals. Regular review and rebalancing of your portfolio are crucial to staying on track.

Planning for retirement is a significant step towards financial security. With the right strategy and professional advice, you can enjoy a comfortable and worry-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7741 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 03, 2024

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I am 27 years old. I want around 10 lac rupees in 31 years as well as 3 to 4 cr as retirement plan when I will be 50 years.How much should I invest per month? My current income is 70k per month. Expense is 20k. I want to also enjoy my life not want to invest all my money. Can you please suggest
Ans: Great that you're planning for your future at 27! Let's look at your goals.
Your Financial Picture

Age: 27 years
Monthly income: Rs. 70,000
Monthly expenses: Rs. 20,000
Short-term goal: Rs. 10 lakhs in 31 years
Long-term goal: Rs. 3-4 crores by age 50

Appreciating Your Foresight

Planning for retirement at 27 is very smart
You're giving yourself time to grow your money
Balancing saving and enjoying life is important

Investment Strategy for Short-term Goal

Rs. 10 lakhs in 31 years is a modest goal
You can achieve this with small, regular investments
Consider a mix of equity and debt mutual funds

Long-term Retirement Planning

Rs. 3-4 crores by 50 needs more aggressive saving
Start with 20-25% of your income for this goal
Increase this amount as your income grows

Power of Compounding

Starting early gives your money time to grow
Even small amounts can become large over time
Stay invested for the long term

Balanced Approach to Saving

Aim to save about 30-35% of your income initially
This leaves room for current expenses and enjoyment
Adjust this as your income and expenses change

Investment Options

Mutual funds can be good for long-term growth
Choose a mix of equity and debt funds
Review and rebalance your portfolio regularly

Increasing Your Investments

Try to increase your investment amount yearly
Even a small increase can make a big difference
Use salary hikes to boost your investments

Regular Review

Check your progress every 6 months
Adjust your plan if your goals or situation change
Stay committed to your long-term objectives

Enjoying Life While Saving

Set aside some money for fun and travel
This prevents feeling deprived and helps stick to your plan
Balance is key to long-term financial success

Finally
Start with investing about Rs. 20,000-25,000 per month. Increase this as your income grows. Regular review and adjustments will help you reach your goals while enjoying life.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

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Hello, I went to kota in class 11 in 2019 I was a below average student there but as soon as my class 12 session was to be started I already started studying the syllabus and was determined that I will crack neet in my first attempt any how but suddenly Covid came and I went back to home ,online classes started but after two months suddenly my mental health started deteriorating and eventually I was rushed to various doctors and finally to a psychiatrist , after a few months of constant visits etc I got diagnosed with schizophrenia ,my medications started heavily impacting my sleep,apettite,emotions etc. my studies got completely stopped slowly slowly till neet 2021 I was in that situation that I can just only sit in exam with no preparation at all I scored very very less again next year as I was not much well I got very less in neet 2022 same story in neet 2023 too then for neet 2024 I started studying a little bit due to not studying properly since two three years I was not studying properly I just watched yt videoes on how to study that ,how to do this and that regarding studies I mean I only accumulated knowledge but didn't took actions which ruined my neet 2024 result too .now my parents enrolled me in a regular central government college in bsc zoology hons. Inside me too for some time I accepted it and tried to move on but unable to do that bcoz I wanted to be a doctor since childhood and also have keen interest in medical study it's almost time for neet 2025 but I am unprepared due to not arriving at a firm decision but now I am almost healthy and decided to prepare for neet 2026 will it be worth the decision? I want to try atleast once with my full potential and dedication rest results will be in god's hands Or should I not prepare and focus on anything else?
Ans: Dear Harsh,
Any competitive entrance exam requires focus, discipline and a lot of hard work. Unfortunately due to your circumstances, this hasn't been possible.
Your parents possibly don't want you to go through the disappointment all over again and feel that a regular degree will get your feet back on the ground. Now, whether you must write NEET again or not is a decision you will have to take BUT only if you have a firm plan in hand. You will need to get back all your focus and give it your best shot. Now, how important is this exam for you and why you want to take it, is something only you know. You will also need your parents' support in case you decide to go for it after all, so also consult with them. If you are able to inspire yourself, then you know what is to be done.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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I am 48, male, divorced from my wife. I have a 12 year old daughter. I am in love with a colleague in my office who is also married and seeking divorce. We have known each other for 3 years. Her husband recently found about us and has since decided to delay the divorce proceedings. He is not consenting for mutual divorce. While we love and support each other, this new development is now affecting our relationship. Her husband doesn't appreciate us meeting or talking at work or texting each other. He is unecessarily harassing her to make it seem like I am the villain and she should feel guilty about choosing to divorce at the age of 45. I don't see how it is my fault. But I don't want her to go through this pain of dealing with a guy who she doesn't want to live with. Please suggest what I can do to help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What can you do other than just be by her side and simply understand her situation?
Her husband perhaps feels threatened by another male stepping in and hence delaying the divorce or not consenting to it will drag this whole thing...On your part, do not get so emotionally invested that it begins to take a toll on your peace of mind. This situation isn't going to be an easy one and it will just stretch your emotional band very thin; both for you and the lady. So, take it slow and it may help not being in the radar much so that the husband also backs off. It's sadly called - playing games.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7741 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Money
I am 62 years old.I have 1 Crore at present.I have health insurance for 25 Lakhs.I want to draw an amount of 50,000 per month through systematic withdrawal plan form mutual funds.After my life i want to give a huge Corpus to my son from this investments.Please advice me for my retirement planning.
Ans: 1. Understanding Your Financial Needs
You have Rs 1 crore at present.
You want Rs 50,000 per month through a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP).
The objective is to generate enough income to meet your monthly needs and create wealth for your son.
2. Withdrawal Strategy: SWP Setup
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) is a smart way to create a monthly income.
You need to ensure that the capital remains growing even while withdrawals happen.
Your goal of Rs 50,000 per month is about Rs 6 lakh per year.
Your Rs 1 crore corpus needs to generate this amount.
A balanced portfolio of equity and debt will help in managing risk while offering growth.
A well-planned SWP structure will ensure that your corpus grows, even with withdrawals.
3. Investment Strategy for Long-Term Stability and Growth
Equity investments are ideal for growth, especially in the first few years.
Debt funds provide stability, reducing volatility in your portfolio.
Mutual funds can be actively managed to meet both income and growth objectives.
Avoid index funds as they lack active management. They follow the market, so they cannot provide higher returns than actively managed funds.
Direct funds, while cheaper, have no expert oversight.
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures you get expert guidance, which enhances returns.
4. Asset Allocation
A balanced asset allocation helps grow your wealth while ensuring stability.
Start with around 40% equity, 40% debt, and 20% in safer assets like gold.
Equities will generate higher returns over time, while debt will give stability.
Gold helps hedge against inflation and provides diversification.
Over time, gradually reduce equity exposure and increase debt allocation to preserve capital.
5. Managing Risk
Risk management is key in your case, especially with a fixed withdrawal amount.
You don’t want to dip into the principal too soon, so focus on risk-adjusted returns.
A combination of mid-cap, large-cap, and hybrid funds provides both stability and growth potential.
Debt mutual funds with shorter durations help balance the risk and returns.
A portion should be allocated to liquid funds or short-term debt funds for emergencies.
6. Health Insurance and Emergency Planning
You already have Rs 25 lakh health insurance, which is a great start.
With rising medical costs, you may need to consider increasing coverage over time.
Set aside an emergency fund equivalent to at least 6 months of expenses in liquid funds.
Ensure that your health insurance is comprehensive and covers critical illnesses.
7. Creating a Legacy for Your Son
You want to leave a substantial corpus for your son.
Your investments should be structured to grow over time, even after your lifetime.
A combination of equity, hybrid funds, and a small percentage in gold can work well.
To ensure the corpus grows, focus on reinvesting dividends and returns.
Also, consider setting up a trust or nominee to ensure your assets are transferred smoothly.
8. Tax Planning for Retirement
Focus on tax-efficient investments.
Long-term capital gains on equity funds are tax-free after a certain holding period.
Debt funds may have a tax advantage if held for more than 3 years.
Take advantage of tax-saving mutual funds if you are eligible for deductions.
Regular review of your tax liabilities helps in keeping your investments tax-efficient.
9. Monitoring and Rebalancing Your Portfolio
Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it’s in line with your retirement goals.
Rebalancing annually will keep your asset allocation on track.
Keep track of your SWP withdrawals and adjust based on market performance.
As you get closer to your desired age, you can reduce equity exposure and increase debt allocation.
10. Avoiding Certain Investment Options
Avoid investing in annuities, as they don’t provide flexibility.
Investment-cum-insurance plans like ULIPs should be reconsidered.
These have high charges and offer lower returns compared to mutual funds.
Insurance should be separate from your investments to achieve higher returns.
Consider surrendering any such policies and reinvesting the amount in mutual funds for better growth.
11. Health and Long-Term Care Planning
Long-term care and medical expenses should be factored in.
After retirement, you may not have a regular income, so insurance will help.
Consider building a portion of your portfolio to cover these needs.
12. Legacy Planning and Nomination
Ensure you have a clear will and nominations for all your assets.
Mutual funds and other investments should have a designated nominee.
This helps transfer assets to your son easily after your lifetime.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner to streamline this process.
13. Review Your Plan Regularly
Keep reviewing your financial goals annually.
Adjust your strategy if there are major changes in market conditions or personal goals.
Your retirement portfolio should be flexible to handle changes in market conditions.
Ensure that any new goals or needs are factored into your investment planning.
Final Insights
Your Rs 1 crore is a great base for building a secure retirement.
Balance your portfolio to generate income while keeping the principal intact.
Actively managed funds are the best choice for long-term wealth generation.
Regular monitoring and a disciplined SWP strategy will help meet your goals.
Build a legacy for your son by ensuring that your investments grow even after your lifetime.
Health insurance, tax planning, and estate planning should be integral to your strategy.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7741 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

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Hello Ramalingam sir. Good day. I'm looking to invest 20L for long term (min 10Y). Please advise how should I diversify the same?
Ans: Investing Rs 20 lakh for the long term requires careful planning. A well-diversified portfolio balances risk and return. Below is a structured approach to diversification.

Understanding Long-Term Investing
Long-term investing builds wealth over time.

A well-diversified portfolio reduces risk.

Regular monitoring is essential for success.

Asset Allocation Strategy
Spreading investments across different asset classes is important.

Asset allocation should match risk tolerance and goals.

Rebalancing every year ensures stability.

Equity Investments for Growth
Equity investments provide higher returns over time.

Investing in quality mutual funds ensures professional management.

Actively managed funds perform better than index funds.

Mid-cap and small-cap funds can give high growth.

A mix of large, mid, and small caps balances risk.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures better fund selection.

Debt Investments for Stability
Debt investments provide steady returns.

They reduce overall portfolio risk.

Corporate bonds and debt funds offer better returns than fixed deposits.

Government bonds are secure but have lower returns.

A portion of capital in debt instruments gives stability.

Gold for Hedging
Gold acts as a hedge against inflation.

5-10% of the portfolio in gold is beneficial.

Sovereign gold bonds provide interest and capital appreciation.

Gold ETFs and digital gold are convenient options.

International Exposure for Diversification
Investing in global funds provides currency diversification.

Exposure to international markets enhances portfolio strength.

Developed market funds offer stability.

Emerging market funds provide growth opportunities.

Investing in REITs for Real Estate Exposure
Real estate investment trusts (REITs) provide real estate exposure.

They generate rental income and capital appreciation.

REITs are more liquid than physical real estate.

Avoiding Insurance-Based Investments
Investment-cum-insurance plans give poor returns.

ULIPs have high charges and low flexibility.

Insurance should be separate from investments.

Emergency Fund Allocation
Always keep an emergency fund ready.

Three to six months of expenses should be in a liquid fund.

This ensures financial security during unforeseen events.

Tax-Efficient Investing
Investing in tax-saving funds reduces tax liability.

Long-term capital gains from equities are tax-efficient.

Debt investments should be chosen based on tax benefits.

A Certified Financial Planner helps in tax-efficient planning.

SIP vs. Lump Sum Investment
Systematic investment plans (SIPs) reduce market timing risk.

Lump sum investments work well in market corrections.

A combination of SIP and lump sum is effective.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Portfolio performance should be reviewed yearly.

Rebalancing ensures asset allocation stays aligned with goals.

Market fluctuations require adjustments.

Final Insights
A well-diversified portfolio ensures wealth creation.

Equity, debt, gold, and international funds balance returns and risk.

A Certified Financial Planner helps in building a strong investment plan.

Monitoring investments ensures long-term success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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Anu mam, I am 21 about to graduate this year. So I am a single child and I just got to know that my parents are planning to separate. They are both seeing different people but none of them have cared to sit down and discuss this with me. I am old enough to make decisions. But I feel betrayed by my own parents. I don't have siblings or cousins with whom I can discuss this. I mean, what happens to me after my parents separate? Where will I stay? What about home? Both my parents are travelling or working late so we hardly spend time together at home to have a conversation. I have suggested several times that I want to talk but there is no response from either of them. There is always some urgent work to attend, some family event coming up and this gets brushed aside. I feel like I am not even their child any more. They have both mentally moved on... and I feel betrayed, lonely. I don't know what to do. Can you help?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear that. It is never easy to understand when your parents are planning to separate and it leaves you with a lot of questions when left unanswered can lead to a very unsettled feeling.
Perhaps they are still wondering how to break the news to you. If they have been avoiding this topic, then it is evident that they are not ready to tell you or it's still in an awkward phase.
You are 21 and obviously there's no point hiding this from you anymore. Make a dinner plan outside of home where they will not be able to move about and cite urgent work etc. Mid-way through dinner, ask them...they may deny or one of them may walk out; but at least they know that you are aware and will want to talk about it eventually. The path to a conversation has opened then and then you can make a plan about how to go about it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

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Me 38ki hu mera bf 28ka wo mujhse sucha pyar krta hai shaadi bi Krna hai usko but bola ki me 2cr kmalu tb krunga t shaadi usne ghr me baat bhi ni ki apne na mere ki confirm krde ki shaadi t krunga or sagai krle usne BTech science kri hai wo mera office me lga jha selry 18k hai but maine kha ki tum apni qualification me hisaab se khi or job krlo jha 50k mile taki tum mere ghr walo se shaadi ki baat kr sko humre riste ko 4saal ho gye hai but usko m bhoat smjhaya ki khi or job krlo set ho jaye but ni ki or is office me job krha jha 18k milre hai usko fir bolta hai ki me 2cr acount me ho tb me Shaadi krunga tumse but mere ghr wale pressure krhe hai alg or ye koi faisla ni lera hai me kya kru
Ans: Dear Tiya,
Uske paas tumse zyaada waqt hai umar ke hisaab se isiliye woh yeh bol paa raha hai. Woh galat nahin na tum galat ho. Dono apni apni jagah sahi ho.
Aapko apni life mein kya chahiye? Shaadi aur ek pariwaar? Toh aapko yahi sochna chahiye ki kya yeh aapka bf samajhta hai aur kya is waqt woh yeh aapko de paayega. Kamaai ki baare mein bol rahaa hai woh; woh 2 Cr kitne saal aur lagenge? Kya aap intezaar karna chahoge? Agar nahin, toh is waqt woh bhi shaadi nahin karna chahte...toh aap unko majboor nahin kar sakte...Aaraam se soch vichaar kar lijiye aur ek nateeje par aana. Aap intezaar hi karte rahoge aur umar bhi nikla jaayega...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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