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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on May 30, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Lakhbinder Question by Lakhbinder on May 24, 2023Hindi
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Hello Mam, my son is 17 years old and just completed his +2 class but his score is low. He is careless in studies though we are much concerned with his studies for last three years and push him to get good marks so he can make good out of his life. but i feel that he is low in confidence and also do not give his 100%. This is the peak time to make the career but still i do not see any significant change in his behaviour and routine. I scared a lot now that whether he will be able to make a good career and be successful in life. what should i do to make him confident, determined and focused so that he do good in life. Please advise..

Ans: Dear Lakhbinder,
Marks support but not destroy a future. Find his interest and allow him to do a course in that interest. It will support him immediately. Motivation and family support helps a young person feel calmer and helps him work towards his interest.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Mam, my son has just completed his 12 class in commerce stream. His self confidence is low and in exams he failed to give his 100% and score low marks than his capability. His is also careless in studies. please guide how we can help him and how he can improve on this. We are very much disturbed due to this. Please help...
Ans: Dear Lakhbinder,
That age is a very confusing time for youngsters as they not only have to deal with the expectations of the school and parents but also 'fit in' with their peers.
It is natural to be defocused from academics and not do their best and I do understand your worry especially if he is aiming at a highly academic course after Class 12.

In my experience, working with youngsters, this is what I have understood:

Youngsters are not careless with their studies without reasons.
- They are doing a course which they were forced into or don't have an aptitude for
- They have immense pressure at home and school to perform
- They have been subject to a lot of comparison with those performing well in their class
- They have a lot of unwanted influences through chat apps and social media apps
- They are constantly monitored as to how much effort they are putting
- They are simply giving into their rebellious streaks given the age

It could be any of the above. Do identify and if there are things as a parent you can do, kindly step in NOT as a friend but by being more accepting and FRIENDLY. If it's about focus orientation, seek an expert who in one session will be able to help him through re-training the mind hacks which are simple to follow with amazing results.

All the best!

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Hello sir this is Nishat , I passed my 12th in the year 2023 with a good percentage but however I couldn’t see it for chemistry exam. So obviously I failed in that subject so I decided to again reappear for that exam and in 2024 I gave betterment exam from my state board in the subject biology and chemistry. However I scored far better in biology than last time but (Chemistry) I don’t know maybe it’s it’s because of the issues that we have with our board. I couldn’t score good marks so even I had decided to give (Chemistry) separately and so in 2024. I again set for (Chemistry) exam under nios I and I scored 80 so now the thing is that I’ll be having two mark sheet so while applying in need I cannot possibly select the code 2 because although I already have the state board certificate but the NIOS certificate is not yet out and it will be out by end of the March sir can I possibly select the code one that is appearing or will it create problems while counselling or is there any other option please help me out sir , I’m very desperate like I have prepared for neey for the last two years and I don’t want to put my hard work into vain. Please Sir help me out
Ans: Hello Nishtam
Please select code 1 without any fear. Focus more on your study. But considering your fear and anxiety with the chemistry subject, it is recommended that you choose other options than NEET. This time you appear without any fear.

If you like the reply, please follow me else ask again without hesitation.
Thanks
Radheshyam

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