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Dr Aarti Bakshi |40 Answers |Ask -Follow

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on May 30, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more

Question by Lakhbinder on May 24, 2023Hindi

Health

Hello Mam, my son is 17 years old and just completed his +2 class but his score is low. He is careless in studies though we are much concerned with his studies for last three years and push him to get good marks so he can make good out of his life. but i feel that he is low in confidence and also do not give his 100%. This is the peak time to make the career but still i do not see any significant change in his behaviour and routine. I scared a lot now that whether he will be able to make a good career and be successful in life. what should i do to make him confident, determined and focused so that he do good in life. Please advise..

Ans: Dear Lakhbinder,
Marks support but not destroy a future. Find his interest and allow him to do a course in that interest. It will support him immediately. Motivation and family support helps a young person feel calmer and helps him work towards his interest.

DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.

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Anu Krishna |836 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 30, 2023

Question by Lakhbinder - May 16, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Mam, my son has just completed his 12 class in commerce stream. His self confidence is low and in exams he failed to give his 100% and score low marks than his capability. His is also careless in studies. please guide how we can help him and how he can improve on this. We are very much disturbed due to this. Please help...

Ans: Dear Lakhbinder,
That age is a very confusing time for youngsters as they not only have to deal with the expectations of the school and parents but also 'fit in' with their peers.
It is natural to be defocused from academics and not do their best and I do understand your worry especially if he is aiming at a highly academic course after Class 12.

In my experience, working with youngsters, this is what I have understood:

Youngsters are not careless with their studies without reasons.
- They are doing a course which they were forced into or don't have an aptitude for
- They have immense pressure at home and school to perform
- They have been subject to a lot of comparison with those performing well in their class
- They have a lot of unwanted influences through chat apps and social media apps
- They are constantly monitored as to how much effort they are putting
- They are simply giving into their rebellious streaks given the age

It could be any of the above. Do identify and if there are things as a parent you can do, kindly step in NOT as a friend but by being more accepting and FRIENDLY. If it's about focus orientation, seek an expert who in one session will be able to help him through re-training the mind hacks which are simple to follow with amazing results.

All the best!

Mayank Chandel |437 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on May 31, 2023

Question by Trilok - May 26, 2023Hindi

Career

My Son is in Std 12th and is pursuing PCMC and aspired to appear JEE along with SAT, CET. Now he says that he will not pursue JEE and will be interested to appear CET & SAT...he seems to be without any aim ...When asked abt his dream he is saying he is not sure or rather does not want to convey to parents. We put him in a school with is integrated and gives CBSE with JEE coaching. I would like you to suggest how can we bring out what he wants to do ..He is taking things very casually..whenever he studies he keeps his headphone on and when asked he says that this is the he remembers things...He is not giving hajjis 100 % and always into an argument whenever we ask questions on his career/studies. He was in a hostel in his 11th and now not even interested to go back there but at home he is not even focused. As parents please advise us what need to be done and what will be best for him..He is intelligent and scores 80% but has a capability to get 95%

Ans: Hello Trilok,
It's good to hear that your son is intelligent and capable of getting good marks.
With parents child usually feels the fear of being judged & avoids sharing all things with them.

I would suggest you take him to psychological counseling. It will help in identifying what's bothering him and will help in unleashing his potential.

Virender Kapoor |28 Answers |Ask -Follow

Self-improvement Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2023

Question by George - Jun 25, 2023Hindi

Career

Hi Virender Sir, My son is in 12th std and loves computers and coding, he learns all by himself and tries to innovate. But he is not at all focused in studies and hates to study. He understands only marks can get him to good college, but does not have the mind to study. Should i take him to phycologist. What is your suggestion to make him study

Ans: Hi George, You need to explain to him that formal education is a must and coding could just be a hobby and will not get him any worth while job. For example you may be a good actor but people like Anupam kher and Manoj Bajpai too went to National school of Drams -NSD to learn the craft and get some formal training. In films you can still manage but in engineering and management you cannot do without formal education. If you know any education counselor you can seek help or some one senior in the industry. Psychologist will further confuse and complicate the issue i feel.

Dr Ashish Sehgal |97 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Question by DP - Sep 04, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hello Sir, My Son 14 years old studing in 9th Standard has not pay attention in studing, He is sleeping & lazy in all the Periods of School classroom.His body language is very idle & he has very Lazy guy. this is may due to he not eating healty food like, dryfruits, vegetable (eathing Junk Food) instead our so many attempt to do so. Myself & wife do all the attempt to improve him but we are failed in all the attempt. his school marks are only 30 to 40% & we are very much scare that he is going to failed in 9th standared. he also not listing to Teachers & our Advice but only ignore & sometimes arrogant in the argument. we have changes so many classes & private tution to improve in studey & behavour, but all attempts did not work. his only interest in Cricket, watching TV & Mobile. Request to need your valuable advice & tips to make changes in my son.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling in school. It's great that you and your wife are trying to help him. Here are some tips that may help:

1. Encourage healthy habits: Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly can help improve focus and concentration.

2. Create a study-friendly environment: Make sure your son has a quiet, well-lit space to study. Remove any distractions, such as TV or mobile phones, during study time.

3. Set goals: Work with your son to set achievable goals for his studies. Break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks.

4. Reward progress: Celebrate your son's successes, no matter how small. Rewards can be as simple as a favorite meal or activity.

5. Encourage active learning: Encourage your son to take an active role in his learning. This can include asking questions, taking notes, and summarizing what he's learned.

6. Get support: Consider enlisting the help of a tutor or academic coach. They can provide additional support and guidance to help your son succeed.

Remember, every child learns differently, so it may take some time to find what works best for your son. Be patient and supportive, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if needed.

Aruna Agarwal |57 Answers |Ask -Follow

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Dec 20, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2023Hindi

Health

Good morning Madam, my son is 14 years old. He is in 9th std. He is not studying well. Even though he is good in other works he don't work hard in studies. Always he studies on the previous day before exams. And also his handwriting is not good. He is much interested in doing business as I'm into business. I own a shop. All my relatives, friends, neighbors are high educated. I really want him to pursue a good degree. When I scold him he starts weeping. What should i do to motivate him? And how should I handle this? My wife can't teach him as she's not so educated and i can teach but don't have time.

Ans: How has been with studies,where is he lacking in understanding his subjects. Check what is making him procrastinate the task. To develop his interest get him extra support for his subjects he doesn't understand. Get him counselled if required.

Latest Questions

Moneywize |102 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi

Money

I have submitted my Form 15 to my bank in April 2023. My income falls under the non-taxable category against interest received from bank FDs. Bank has not deducted any TDS up to September 2023 but from October 2023 they have started deducting TDS on FD interest earned by me saying that interest earned on my FDs have crossed the limit of Rs 5 lakh. Is the bank right in deducting tax citing this reason? Please enlighten me.

Ans: No, the bank is likely not right in this case. Here's why:

• Form 15G validity: A valid Form 15G submitted before April 1, 2023 is applicable for the entire financial year 2023-24 (assessment year 2024-25). This means if your income falls under the non-taxable category, the bank shouldn't deduct TDS on your FD interest for the entire year.
• TDS exemption limit: The current exemption limit for TDS on FD interest is Rs 40,000 for individuals below 60 years old, and Rs 50,000 for senior citizens (above 60 years old). There's no limit of Rs 5 lakh for TDS deduction on FD interest.

Here's what you can do:

• Reach out to your bank: Inform them that you submitted a valid Form 15G and your income falls under the non-taxable category. You can clarify the exemption limit and point out the mistake.
• Request rectification: Ask the bank to rectify the error and reverse the TDS deducted on your FD interest from October 2023 onwards.
• Seek professional help: If the bank doesn't resolve the issue, consider seeking help from a tax consultant or financial advisor. They can guide you further on how to claim a refund for the deducted TDS.

Additional points to consider:

• Ensure you have a copy of the Form 15G submission acknowledgement for your records.
• Keep a record of any communication with the bank regarding the TDS deduction.

By following these steps, you should be able to resolve the issue with the bank and avoid unnecessary TDS deduction on your FD interest.

Mayank Chandel |437 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi

Career

Respected Sir/Mam I have just completed my 12th grade and waiting for my results and I have decided to pursue my carrier in law ,but CLAT 2024 was already over .So ,I have decided to give Christ University law entrance exam (CULEE) and failed in the first session .I am an science stream student ,I am confused now whether should I go with law or try engineering.I know it's about my interest but still I can't choose kindly help me

Ans: Hi,
have you appeared for any engineering entrance? that's the only way to get admission in engineering colleges. or else you will have to repeat clat & engg entrances next year.

Ravi Mittal |181 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 01, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Im 28 F and planning to focus on career before thinking about marriage. Parents are pressuring me to get married but im not interested now. Is it too late already?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It's a really good decision. There is nothing wrong with focusing on your career first and marriage after. In fact, it is best to have financial independence before marriage. And though I understand your parents' concerns, 28 is absolutely not too late to get married. There is no right time frame to get married. There's only the right mindset. If you are not ready for it, you should not rush into it.
Your parents have your best intention in mind, let's remember that first. But that does not mean you have to give in to their ideas. Try to make them understand the importance of having a career of your own and the importance of being financially independent. I'm sure with time they will come around.

Best Wishes.

Ravi Mittal |181 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 01, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Im in a relationship with a guy for 9 years. We tried to convince our familes. My family got convinced, but his family didnt. He is threating him that if he marry me they will hurt us. He is fed up with all these and now dont want to get married. What should i do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. I understand that it must be hard to move on after putting so much effort into building a relationship for nine years. But if there are threats of harm involved in it, I have no other advice than to inform your parents about the same and keep a safe distance. I am sure your partner has tried his best but looking into everyone's best interest, keeping your distance for the time being seems like the best option right now. You can ask your parents to talk to his parents; if they still continue to threaten you, as any well-wisher, I would be forced to ask you to reconsider the relationship.

Best Wishes.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |1298 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Question by Vivek - Mar 19, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi, my age is 29. Married. My daughter is 8 months old. My monthly salary is Rs. 1.33L PM. Monthly expense - Rs. 35,000 Current commitments are: Home Loan EMI - Rs. 43,535 (8 months completed. 30 years tenure) Term Insurance - 1cr (Annual premium - Rs. 36,000 for 10 years. 7 more premium pending) Current NPS Balance - Rs. 75,000. Investing Rs. 15,000 pm SSY - Rs. 12,500 pm. APY - Rs. 409 pm I'm planning to save for Emergency Corpus Fund, get a medical insurance floater policy. My short term goal is to save Rs. 20 lakhs within 4 years for registeration and interior work for house. My long term goals are for daughters UG education, wedding, retirement at 55 years. I took investment risk test and Im an aggressive investor and planning to invest more on equity. Also, I want to diversify the portfolio and invest across asset class.

Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach to financial planning! With your solid income and clear goals, here's a suggested plan:

Emergency Corpus Fund: Aim for 6-12 months' worth of living expenses in a high-yield savings account for emergencies.
Medical Insurance Floater Policy: Ensure adequate coverage for your family's healthcare needs, including your daughter.
Short-Term Goal - House Expenses: Consider a mix of equity and debt mutual funds for potential growth while safeguarding against market volatility.
Long-Term Goals - Daughter's Education, Wedding, Retirement: Continue investing in equity through mutual funds or stocks for higher returns over the long term. Also, explore options like PPF, NPS, and diversified funds for diversification across asset classes.
Review and Adjust: Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed to stay on track with your goals.
Remember, financial planning is dynamic. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your unique circumstances and aspirations. With discipline and strategic investing, you'll be well-positioned to achieve your financial dreams.

Mayank Chandel |437 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi

Career

I completed bams a year ago. I passed 12th in 2014 and prepared for neet 2 times but couldn?t get seat because i was not serious about my career at that time. I had no clearity. I was so confused that I couldn?t focus. Even my parents and relatives were scolding me and not helping me . So I wasn?t thinking roperly focused. Then i gave bams entrance for the first time and got seat. I feel like if they wouldn have helped me or asked me what do i feel then i must not have been in the same place as am today. I feel i have ruined my life. Am currently working in delhi as a physician in a very renowned ayurvedic institute. But i feel like I don?t have passion for ayurveda. Am 26 years old. Everytime i feel like failure as I couldn?t get mbbs. Still my teenage to final year of my college i used to be so confused about my career. As now at 27 am having clearity that i want to be a cardiac surgeon, i feel like it?s too late to restart again. I feel depressed, failed and guilty. I don?t know if its a good decision to appear for neet again or not. I feel like defeated. I dont Feel happy. This time i have a lot of passion for becoming a cardiac surgeon but i am not able to decide this thing myself. I feel helpless. I feel guilty that I couldn?t clear neet exam. On the other hand there are some of my friends who never ever appeared for neet and did bams from private colleges are really happy and don?t have any complaints from this career. Why do i only feel defeated and unhappy.

Ans: Hi,
I cannot help you psychologically. But yes if you are really serious & want to restart give it a second thought that whether you will be able to give another 10 years into study. Plus NEET has become more competitive now as almost 24L+ students are writing this year. Again you won't make it there you will be more depressed. Other option would be MBBS abroad then. But still the question is will you be able to give your next 10 years into study?

Ramalingam Kalirajan |1298 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Question by Nitin - Jan 19, 2024Hindi

Money

I want to invest 5 lakhs one time investment in mutual fund purely for growth. Which fund would give higher returns in short period of time.

Ans: When seeking higher returns in a short period, it's important to acknowledge the associated risks. Equity funds historically offer greater potential for growth but come with volatility.

Consider diversified equity funds or mid-cap funds known for their growth potential. However, past performance doesn't guarantee future results. Research thoroughly and consult a Certified Financial Planner to align investments with your goals and risk tolerance.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |1298 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Question by Ravi - Mar 28, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi Jinal, We both partner are 40 year old. These days after having second child (9 month old), I am bit worried about my both sons (Elder one 10 year) future. We couple currently earning 3.5 Lack per month together (In hand). I am investing 15 thousand in LIC SIIP (Last two year), 25 thousand in SIP (SBI, Last two year), and nearly 20 thousand in LIC per month (Last 10 years). I do invest 1.5 Lacks in PPF every year (Last 13 year). With all this investment can i reach a core plus of 60 Lac (For younger one education) by 2030 and another 1 Cr (For Elder one education and marriage) by 2040. I don't have to plan our retirement as we both are government employee and automatically investing in NPS as per government rules (Current value of NPS is 80 Lack combined). Is this investment is sufficient or i have to increase further for our sons education. One more thing I do investment in gold also (Physical) approximately 3 Lack per year from last 2 years.

Ans: It's heartening to hear your dedication to securing your children's future amidst the joys and challenges of parenthood. Your commitment to various investments, including LIC policies, SIPs, and PPF, reflects your foresight and responsibility.

While your current investments provide a solid foundation, it's essential to regularly review and adjust your financial plan. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to assess if additional contributions or adjustments are needed to meet your ambitious goals.

Remember, financial planning is a journey, and flexibility is key to adapting to life's twists and turns. With careful planning and guidance, you can navigate towards a brighter future for your children with confidence.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |1298 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2024Hindi

Money

is insurence ( TATA AIG)avl for resurfaciIng of hip joints

Ans: Insurance coverage for hip joint resurfacing can vary depending on the terms of your policy with TATA AIG. It's essential to review your policy documents or consult with a representative to understand the extent of coverage for this specific procedure. Additionally, discussing your medical needs with your healthcare provider can help determine the best course of action and explore potential insurance options.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |1298 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Question by Yogesh - Mar 26, 2024Hindi

Money

Dear Sir, I am investing Rs 70,000 per month in HDFC Top 100 growth direct plan and will reach 1 Cr (investment) in next 15 years. If I switch to SWP for next 10 years after I have invested 1 Cr then, how much will I get per month?

Ans: Your commitment to investing for the future is commendable! However, predicting exact returns can be tricky due to market fluctuations. Instead of fixating on specific numbers, focus on building a diversified portfolio aligned with your long-term goals. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide clarity and help navigate uncertainties, ensuring your financial journey remains on course.

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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