Dr. Aarti, can I pay for my child's healthcare, food, clothes, medicine, etc. instead of giving the child support directly to my son's mother? I don't mind paying for my child, I just don't trust the mother to spend that money well.

Ans: Dear Anonymous, Relationships were made over years and they take constant work, throughout. Out of court settlements and the legal obligations of child support and alimony work out on a mutual acceptance from both parties. What I understand from your query is that the child is with your ex-wife. Supporting your child with his requirements would be handled in another household, if you both come to a concensus , maybe a joint doc on how your support money is being used for the child's benefit could be spoken as adults. Communication is key, be it verbal or while using technology. My suggestion is keeping in touch with your son through Zoom meets, letters and emails (if approved by court and concensus of both parties) to build a stronger relationship and indirectly being informed that all his needs are met. For further clarity, connecting with a legal professional would help. I am a psychologist and a lawyer's specialisation would support with the present laws.