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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Jan 31, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2023Hindi
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Dr Aarti Bakshi, Is it normal to have imaginary friends when you're a teen? Should I go to a school counsellor, not just for imaginary friends but for depression?

Ans: Dear Teenager, feeling all emotions is being human. Depression is clinically diagnosed. I suggest that having conversations with a school counsellor would help, as the professional would keep it confidential, give you strategies and see your progress. Imaginery friends are rarer as a teen but it is normal. Sometimes you may vent your feelings or do imaginary things. Yet having a social connect with real friends does support your emotions and general happiness. Do consider making stronger friendships.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Hello ma'am, I am a 17 year old girl feeling vulnerable and angry at times to the point that i end up breaking things and this affects my relationship with my parents. I feel very lonely most of the time....especially when i see other people chilling with their friends. Please help.
Ans: it's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and lonely, especially when you see others enjoying social connections. Here are some suggestions that may help you manage your feelings of anger, loneliness, and vulnerability:Find healthy ways to express your emotions. Instead of breaking things, try journaling, drawing, or talking to someone you trust about how you're feeling. Be kind to yourself and recognize that it's okay to feel the way you do. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a friend in a similar situation.Reach out to someone you trust, whether it's a friend, family member, teacher, or school counselor. Talking to someone about how you're feeling can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and provide support. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, whether it's pursuing a hobby, volunteering, or joining a club or group where you can meet like-minded individuals. Consider seeking therapy or counseling to help you learn coping skills and strategies for managing your emotions in healthier ways. A therapist can also provide a supportive and non-judgmental space for you to explore your feelings and experiences. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing exercises and meditation, can help you stay grounded and present in the moment, reducing feelings of anger and vulnerability. If certain situations or relationships are contributing to your feelings of anger and loneliness, it's important to set boundaries to protect your well-being. This might involve limiting contact with certain people or seeking support to address challenging family dynamics.Take care of your physical and emotional needs by prioritizing self-care activities such as getting enough sleep, eating healthily, and engaging in regular exercise.Practice identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that contribute to your feelings of loneliness and anger. Replace them with more balanced and compassionate thoughts. Healing and personal growth take time, so be patient with yourself as you navigate through this difficult period. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and remember that you're not alone in your struggles.
It's okay to ask for help, and reaching out for support is a courageous step toward healing and well-being. You deserve to feel supported and connected, and there are people and resources available to help you through this challenging time.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2024Hindi
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I am a 38 year old male working in an IT firm and having a good earnings. I am married and with a girl daughter 8 years old. I have cleared all my debts and also am saving for my daughter's future studies and life. I have this wired feeling of what if my earning stops, what if I lose my job, what if I die early 40s. Etc.. I get such random thoughts and get into a low phase.. Besides I am doing good at work and also trying keep my health in a decent shape . But these random thoughts is not so good and I get depressed cos of it for some time.. is this normal for male getting into 40s ? I don't have much friends whom I can share and don't want to share this with my wife as I feel she might get sad too..
Ans: It's quite common for individuals approaching their 40s to experience concerns about their future, financial stability, and health. This period, sometimes referred to as a midlife transition, often brings about a re-evaluation of life goals, achievements, and concerns about mortality.

Firstly, it's important to recognize that these feelings are normal and shared by many people. You're at a life stage where responsibilities often increase, and the realization that life is finite becomes more prominent. Acknowledging that these thoughts are common can be a reassuring first step.

Financial security can play a significant role in mitigating these anxieties. Ensuring that you have a solid emergency fund, sufficient insurance coverage, and a well-thought-out financial plan for the future can provide a sense of security. Given that you've already cleared your debts and are saving for your daughter's future, you're on the right track. Consider consulting a financial advisor to further solidify your financial plans.

In terms of job security, staying updated with industry trends, continuously learning new skills, and networking within your field can help you feel more secure about your career prospects. This proactive approach can also provide you with a sense of control over your professional life.

Maintaining your health is another crucial factor. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and routine medical check-ups can help you stay healthy and reduce health-related anxieties. Mental health is equally important; practices such as mindfulness, meditation, or even talking to a therapist can help manage stress and anxiety.

It's also important to have a support system. While you might not want to share your concerns with your wife to avoid making her anxious, finding a confidant or a therapist to talk to can be very beneficial. They can provide a different perspective and offer support.

Lastly, try to focus on the positive aspects of your life. Reflect on your achievements, the stability you've created for your family, and the goals you've set for the future. Engaging in hobbies and activities that you enjoy can also provide a healthy distraction from these worries.

In summary, your feelings are normal and can be managed through financial planning, career development, maintaining physical and mental health, and seeking support when needed. Remember, taking proactive steps towards these aspects of your life can greatly reduce anxiety and help you feel more in control.

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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