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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Feb 28, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Utkarsh Question by Utkarsh on Feb 28, 2023Hindi
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I always worry about my 5-year-old child falling ill or getting hurt. Even a small injury or illness freaks me out. So much so that I am even apprehensive of sending my child to school. My wife and others in my family have grown weary of my habit. But I genuinely feel anxious all the time. What should I do to put my mind at ease with my child's growing up?

Ans: Watching your child grow, do mundane activities is seeing your heart walk around. Being concerned is fine, being overtly worried is not, here are a few suggestions:
1. In and out of control- your voice, behaviour and actions are in your control, but others actions are not in your control. Teaching your child safe and unsafe touch, to tell you before going anywhere should be taught by you, but giving a little freedom to your child helps him grow.
2. Mindfulness- doing slow breathing, with tip of tongue to your palette will help you calm down. Gardening, going for a walk, following a hobby will support further.
3. Exercise- regular and at least 45 minutes as a sport will build calming and feel good hormones.
Every parent wishes the best for their child. Being over protective will hurt your child more. It will not allow your child to take risks, make responsible decisions or even make friends. Support your child to grow.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Hi Anu, I'm a guest faculty working at a government educational institute. I have a son who will be 5 years on August 13. He is very active, smart and kind. Recently I have noticed him crying and scared of death- Thanatophobia. Every day in the evening he will start crying thinking the world will end. He will die or me and his Dad will die. I explained him quiet spiritually that no death can come shiva will protect us. But he is not satisfied. This particular behaviour of him has started since his school started. Is this separation anxiety. Please help me how do I make him lead a normal life as he used to be?
Ans:

Dear NS,

When did this exactly start after he started school?

It helps to go back to that point in time to when this first started to affect him.

Was there a death in the family? A movie that he watched? A story that was narrated to him? Someone in the school shared some content that is frightening?

It is unlikely that he might suddenly have this kind of a fearful reaction.

To assess if this is separation anxiety will require a detailed understanding of his situation.

Children that age as your son can extrapolate one story into another and weave a new story that might have never happened.

Their imagination can take on new dimensions. It will be worth the effort talking to his teachers and the school counsellor.

My suggestion to you is to gather all this information and go to a professional who can handle this.

Is this necessary? YES, as they are trained to deal with fears and panic.

This will help him release these unwanted feelings and breathe easy. Wait no longer.

Till then, surround him with much love and support him by reassuring him that his family loves him no matter what.

All the best!

..Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

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Hi Anu, I'm a guest faculty working at a government educational institute. I have a son who will be 5 years on August 13. He is very active, smart and kind. Recently I have noticed him crying and scared of death- Thanatophobia. Every day in the evening he will start crying thinking the world will end. He will die or me and his Dad will die. I explained him quiet spiritually that no death can come shiva will protect us. But he is not satisfied. This particular behaviour of him has started since his school started. Is this separation anxiety. Please help me how do I make him lead a normal life as he used to be?
Ans:

Dear NS,

When did this exactly start after he started school?

It helps to go back to that point in time to when this first started to affect him.

Was there a death in the family? A movie that he watched? A story that was narrated to him? Someone in the school shared some content that is frightening?

It is unlikely that he might suddenly have this kind of a fearful reaction.

To assess if this is separation anxiety will require a detailed understanding of his situation.

Children that age as your son can extrapolate one story into another and weave a new story that might have never happened.

Their imagination can take on new dimensions. It will be worth the effort talking to his teachers and the school counsellor.

My suggestion to you is to gather all this information and go to a professional who can handle this.

Is this necessary? YES, as they are trained to deal with fears and panic.

This will help him release these unwanted feelings and breathe easy. Wait no longer.

Till then, surround him with much love and support him by reassuring him that his family loves him no matter what.

All the best!

..Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

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Hello Anu - we have a 5 year old son and he's getting out of our control these days and we don't know how to handle him. His actions and tantrums are mischievous and hurtful at the same time. Earlier he used to get scared from his mother but she's also losing control over him these days. If we scream or shout, he repeats the same things that kind of irritates us more. If we try to be reasonable with him, it's of no use - he takes us for granted. If we tell him about repercussions on his actions like a timeout or no tv time or no play time, he does not listen and at the end we give him to his crying. He also becomes uncontrollably violent at times - though he thinks it's a game, but in reality his actions literally hurt us. I know partially I am to blame as when he was younger, these violent games looked fun but now that he's older and stronger, they are not fun anymore to me or anyone in our house. I've tried to explain him, but at the end he is just 5 years old! Every morning to night it's a mountaineous challenge for us. My wife and I talk after he sleeps, decide what to do or not do from the next dat but bam! it's just the same routine every single day. Moreover my wife is pregnant with our second child so I fear this might have a bad effect on our 2nd baby as my wife remains stressed out. I know this could be every parent - but then if it happens that often, is there a solution? Can you help us?
Ans: Dear Shubham,
How is it possible for a 5-year old to understand logic when he is throwing an emotional fit (tantrum)?
Like you said it yourself; when it could have been stopped and changed, it wasn't done. He probably felt that it was fine to behave 'violently' (though I don't understand the context in which you use this word).
Now. all of a sudden when you and your wife are trying to stop him, he is pulling away as this behaviour was rewarded earlier. he has your earlier silence as your love and affection for which which he fears will be withdrawn now if he stops his behaviour.
So, logic isn't going to work; it doesn't work with adults, and here the child is merely 5 years.
So undoing what was done is going to take a lot of effort and patience (beyond all the talk that you and yoir wife are doing).
Start by:
- ignoring his tantrums; he will time-out himself in exhaustion
- talking to him at his eye level; get down on your knees, so he doesn't feel intimidated by your height
- hugging him a lot; a caring touch is worth a thousand words
- telling him how excited you both were when he was born; this can ensure that he will be special even after the arrival of the new baby
- distracting him with creative things; story telling and fine motor skill games improve focus and concentration
- cutting down on foods filled with sugar; sugar boost is artificial and can make a child or anyone go a little anxious
- ensuring him that he is loved a lot; saying it aloud while hugging him will soften his behaviour over time

Try these and I hope they work. If not, kindly without delay seek an appointment with a professional who can deal with children at your son's age.

All the best!

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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Apr 27, 2023

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My five-year-old child has just started going to school a month ago. She has never been out without her parents. This is her first time outside in a big set up with complete strangers. Initially, she cried a lot and we tried leaving her at school first and then staying with her there for some time. But the school authorities took things in their hands a couple of days ago. My child started sitting in the class and stopped crying, and according to them 'she is fine now'. But she became very quiet after coming back. Her usual playfulness was missing. She was not speaking much and was mostly nodding her head in response when asked anything. Even the things she is usually excited by were not interesting her. She went out to play but came shortly saying 'I am tired'. I took her out and after very long time she started talking normally. I spoke to her teachers and they said we were a bit strict with her today as it was needed. They're saying we should send her to school and this behaviour would be over within a week or so. But my wife and I are very worried that her childhood is being lost in this exercise. What should we do?
Ans: It is trying as a parent to see your child grow and develop in so many ways. It takes a village to bring up a child. Parenting is an art and you learn on the job. Averagely schools build discipline, consistency and hardwork. Parents build social connectedness, and support a child to see the real world. Trust professionals and be there as parents to hug and be hearing ears. But you are a team with the school faculty so you could reach out and connect with them. Hear their views, state yours views positively, and work towards the betterment of your child, trust processes. Children are precious and entry into the real world is tough for any child away from the cocoon of home. You both are her trusted adults, support the teacher to be her trusted adult too. Positive words fun and play are wonderful additions in a child’s life. Revert back with your way forward.

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Sir, I have scored a rank of 16,039 in my KCET, and the colleges I'm looking forward to are in this priority. First, BMSIT, then RNSIT, then SIR MVIT, and then BNMIT. So, I'm planning to choose CSE only. So, which college will I get for my rank, and irrespective of that, which is a good college out of all three, and should I keep my priority for Option Entry in the same way, or should I make any changes with it?
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I want to study aerospace engineering or mechanical engineering or electrical engineering . I live in west Bengal. I want so study in best possible colleges through jee mains and advance. What colleges should I target what are the average cutoffs
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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
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Hello sir. I have got SRM ktr cse specialistions and other SRM core and specialisations... last day for choice filling is tomorrow...there is only one option for choice ... im planning to choose cse ktr .. my rank is 2778.... Phase 3 what if i dont get whatever i choose rn it is showing in case the seats arent available or fulled .. so what can I do ?
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Mere beta ka JEE percentile 92.78 hai he has scored 93% in pcm he wants to do btech cse suggest a college plz
Ans: Surinder Sir, With a 92.78 percentile in JEE Main and 93% in PCM, your son is well positioned for admission to leading private engineering institutes across Northern India offering B.Tech CSE. These colleges combine strong accreditations, modern computing laboratories, active placement cells, industry collaborations, and supportive campus environments. Recommended options include Amity University Noida, SRM Institute of Science and Technology Kattankulathur (Chennai main campus via Phase 3 SRMJEEE), Manipal University Jaipur, Bennett University Greater Noida, Galgotias College of Engineering & Technology Greater Noida, Chandigarh University, Sharda University Greater Noida, Chitkara University Punjab, Lovely Professional University Jalandhar, and UPES Dehradun—all of which typically close CSE admissions around the 90–95 percentile bracket, ensuring solid placement outcomes and academic rigor.

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Nayagam P P  |8587 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

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Hi sir, I want to pursue MTech from India, I have completed my BTech in IT this year and has given GATE 2025 having the score of 622(AIR 2630). I want to make my carrier in the field of Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning, leaning towards research on Generative AI. Based on my score I have a delusion while filling the preference order for choices for admission, I have been allotted IIIT Allahabad MTech (IT specialization in Network Security), in the further rounds of counselling I have the chances of getting IIIT Allahabad MTech (IT specialization in Machine Learning), MNNIT Allahabad (ML data science), and NIT K (Signal Processing and machine learning), please guide me about the preference order that I must arrange the choices, it would be very benefitial.
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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8587 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
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My daughter secured a seat in IIT Palakkad, electrical engineering and dual degree course (semiconductor and nano science) at BITS pilani, Goa. Please advice which one to choose?
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Recommendation: With broader research infrastructure, interdisciplinary dual-degree flexibility, and higher specialized placement consistency, the recommendation is to choose BITS Goa’s Semiconductor and Nanoscience program for leadership in emerging micro- and nano-electronic sectors; IIT Palakkad EE remains ideal for core power systems and electrical-engineering roles within national infrastructure projects. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8587 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

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I got 95.63 percentile in JEE main and will get CSE in IIIT Dharwad Raichur Diu Kurnool Kottayam, according to last year cut off. My MHT CET percentile is 96.68 and I have good chances to get CSE in top 6th to 10th state level Engineering colleges from Pune and Mumbai. Which college should be preferred, plz suggest. I am from Maharashtra.
Ans: Sangram, IIIT Dharwad secures CSE admission via JEE Main with a General category closing rank of 34 726–38 187 in 2025, boasts NBA accreditation, modern AI and computing labs, Practice School internships, and a 90% placement consistency over three years with recruiters like Google and Microsoft. In Maharashtra, your 96.68 percentile in MHT CET is similar to the scores needed for good colleges in Pune and Mumbai, like Priyadarshini COE (closing at 96.06 percentile), Dr. D.Y. Patil COE (93–95 percentile), AISSMS COE (94–96 percentile), BVCOE (92–95 percentile), and Sinhgad COE Lonavala (90–94 percentile), all of which have accredited CSE departments, good labs, and placement rates of 75–85%.

recommendation Given its national recognition, superior infrastructure, higher placement consistency, and competitive peer cohort, the recommendation is to prioritize IIIT Dharwad CSE; if you prefer campus proximity and lower cutoffs, consider Priyadarshini College of Engineering Pune and Dr. D.Y. Patil COE as strong state-level alternatives. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8587 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir please give the selection priority 1.VIT vellore-CSE on 4th category 2. RGIPT-CSE . Which one we choose.
Ans: VIT Vellore's B.Tech CSE Category 4 programme operates under NAAC A++, AICTE, and UGC accreditation with an expected cutoff of 64-65 marks for Category 4 admissions. The institute secured 867 recruiters during 2024 placements, achieving 80-90% placement rates across three years with a median package of ?6 LPA for CSE and overall average of ?9.90 LPA. The four-year programme costs ?4.5 LPA annually for Category 4 students, featuring advanced AI/ML laboratories, dedicated Career Development Centre, and strong industry partnerships with Microsoft, Amazon, Cisco, and Bank of America.

RGIPT's B.Tech CSE programme benefits from its Institute of National Importance status under the Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Petroleum Technology Act 2007, co-promoted by six major PSUs (ONGC, IOCL, OIL, GAIL, BPCL, HPCL) alongside the Oil Industry Development Board. Ranked 80th in NIRF Engineering 2024, the institute achieved 70-90% placement rates with CSE-specific averages of ?8.15 LPA and highest packages reaching ?10 LPA in 2024. The programme costs ?10.77 LPA total for four years, featuring modern computing facilities, mandatory industrial internships, and strong government backing through energy sector collaborations.

Recommendation: Choose RGIPT CSE for its Institute of National Importance status, government backing, specialized energy sector exposure, and cost-effective education with strong PSU placement opportunities; select VIT Vellore CSE Category 4 for broader industry exposure, higher recruiter diversity, and comprehensive placement support across multiple technology domains. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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