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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
nihit Question by nihit on Jul 22, 2023Hindi
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MY 8 yr old kid has anger issues. He is not able to accept any rejections. He wants whatever he asks for. If we say no to anything he gets hyper and start beating and shouting. When angry he doesn't listen to both of us( mom and dad). Please suggest.

Ans: Dear Parents,
Anger is an emotion which caters to fear and loss of control. Give a choice and not a command to let your son know that he has a choice.
Example- your son says “ I do not want to do homework”, you could say, “ would you like to do half now and half after play time” 2. Modelling helps- accept his emotion but essential agreements are needed for accepted behaviour. Showing as parents what you do to handle any strong emotions is needed. Talking to each other as partners in appropriate tones is also needed. Have family dinners where you discuss things each of you are grateful for and how you as grown ups handle tough situations.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1576 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

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Hello Anu - we have a 5 year old son and he's getting out of our control these days and we don't know how to handle him. His actions and tantrums are mischievous and hurtful at the same time. Earlier he used to get scared from his mother but she's also losing control over him these days. If we scream or shout, he repeats the same things that kind of irritates us more. If we try to be reasonable with him, it's of no use - he takes us for granted. If we tell him about repercussions on his actions like a timeout or no tv time or no play time, he does not listen and at the end we give him to his crying. He also becomes uncontrollably violent at times - though he thinks it's a game, but in reality his actions literally hurt us. I know partially I am to blame as when he was younger, these violent games looked fun but now that he's older and stronger, they are not fun anymore to me or anyone in our house. I've tried to explain him, but at the end he is just 5 years old! Every morning to night it's a mountaineous challenge for us. My wife and I talk after he sleeps, decide what to do or not do from the next dat but bam! it's just the same routine every single day. Moreover my wife is pregnant with our second child so I fear this might have a bad effect on our 2nd baby as my wife remains stressed out. I know this could be every parent - but then if it happens that often, is there a solution? Can you help us?
Ans: Dear Shubham,
How is it possible for a 5-year old to understand logic when he is throwing an emotional fit (tantrum)?
Like you said it yourself; when it could have been stopped and changed, it wasn't done. He probably felt that it was fine to behave 'violently' (though I don't understand the context in which you use this word).
Now. all of a sudden when you and your wife are trying to stop him, he is pulling away as this behaviour was rewarded earlier. he has your earlier silence as your love and affection for which which he fears will be withdrawn now if he stops his behaviour.
So, logic isn't going to work; it doesn't work with adults, and here the child is merely 5 years.
So undoing what was done is going to take a lot of effort and patience (beyond all the talk that you and yoir wife are doing).
Start by:
- ignoring his tantrums; he will time-out himself in exhaustion
- talking to him at his eye level; get down on your knees, so he doesn't feel intimidated by your height
- hugging him a lot; a caring touch is worth a thousand words
- telling him how excited you both were when he was born; this can ensure that he will be special even after the arrival of the new baby
- distracting him with creative things; story telling and fine motor skill games improve focus and concentration
- cutting down on foods filled with sugar; sugar boost is artificial and can make a child or anyone go a little anxious
- ensuring him that he is loved a lot; saying it aloud while hugging him will soften his behaviour over time

Try these and I hope they work. If not, kindly without delay seek an appointment with a professional who can deal with children at your son's age.

All the best!

..Read more

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1146 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2025

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Planning for retirement is crucial, yet many people delay making key financial decisions. With options such as workplace pensions, private pensions, and state pensions, how can individuals determine the best strategy to ensure a financially secure retirement while optimising tax benefits?
Ans: Hello;

Retirement is the one of the most important financial goal and the key is you won't get loan to meet that requirement.

Typically people neglect it in early part of their career and then get a rude shock when hardly 10-15 years are left for retirement and they can't meet target corpus amount despite heavy investments.

NPS is a great retirement product for every Indian.

In fact since it's costs are so low that you won't find people promoting it or advertising about it.

NPS is similar to workplace pension but is available for businessmen and self employed people too.

Except for a minimum 1000 per year in Tier 1 account there is no compulsion to invest and also their is no upper limit to investment. However you may automate your investment in NPS using D-remit feature.

Limited withdrawals are allowed subject to terms and limits.

You can change your fund manager if you are not satisfied with its performance and also you can have different fund managers for different asset classes.

EPS is a add-on to other sources of retirement income and can't be the the only source since the maximum pension amount is limited to Rs. 7500 per month.

Unit linked pension plans are like private pensions but are a poor and inefficient copy of NPS.

In India only Govt employees are eligible for state pension.

PPF/EPF are also avenues for building retirement corpus but interest on EPF contribution above Rs. 2.5 L in a financial year invokes tax and PPF has lower interest rate.

Best strategy to secure financially secure retirement is to begin with a small amount from your first salary and later stepping up with increased income.

Best wishes;

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8176 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 02, 2025Hindi
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Money
Despite earning a decent salary,I often find myself living from one payday to the next, struggling to save. I don't have significant debts, yet my expenses seem to absorb my entire income. What practical steps can I take to break this cycle and start building financial stability?
Ans: Many people face the challenge of earning a decent salary yet struggling to save. If your expenses absorb your entire income, it’s time to take control of your finances with a structured approach. Here’s how you can break the cycle and start building financial stability.

1. Track and Analyse Your Expenses
Identify spending leaks by tracking all expenses for a month.

Use spending tracker apps or a simple notebook to record daily expenses.

Categorise expenses into essentials (rent, food, utilities) and non-essentials (shopping, entertainment, eating out).

Spot unnecessary expenditures and set limits on avoidable expenses.

2. Set a Realistic Budget
Follow the 50-30-20 rule:

50% for needs (housing, bills, groceries).

30% for wants (shopping, entertainment, travel).

20% for savings and investments.

If savings seem difficult, reverse budgeting may work better. Allocate savings first, then spend what remains.

Automate bill payments to avoid late fees and unnecessary penalties.

3. Build an Emergency Fund
Set aside at least 6 months’ worth of expenses in a liquid fund.

Use a separate savings account for emergency funds to avoid spending it impulsively.

Automate transfers to this fund to ensure consistency.

4. Prioritise Saving Over Spending
Start small with savings if your expenses are tight. Even Rs 1,000 per month creates a saving habit.

Use automatic deductions to ensure savings before spending.

Increase savings percentage whenever you get a salary hike or bonus.

5. Cut Down on Unnecessary Expenses
Identify subscriptions you don’t use (streaming services, gym memberships).

Reduce frequent dining out and start cooking at home.

Choose budget-friendly alternatives for entertainment, shopping, and travel.

Negotiate for lower bills on rent, internet, and insurance.

6. Start Investing Wisely
Keep money working for you through investments rather than letting it sit idle.

Consider mutual funds through SIPs to build wealth over time.

Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies. Instead, opt for a separate term insurance and investments.

Invest in a mix of debt and equity based on your risk appetite.

7. Avoid Lifestyle Inflation
Salary hikes should increase savings, not expenses.

Maintain your current lifestyle and direct additional income towards savings.

Differentiate between needs and wants before making big purchases.

8. Plan for Future Goals
Define short-term and long-term goals (buying a home, early retirement, travel).

Assign a dedicated investment for each goal.

Adjust spending habits to align with your bigger financial vision.

9. Monitor and Adjust Regularly
Review your budget every 3-6 months to adjust based on changes in income or expenses.

Keep track of financial progress and celebrate small wins to stay motivated.

If needed, seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) like us for a customised financial strategy.

Final Thoughts
Breaking the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle requires discipline and consistency. By tracking expenses, budgeting wisely, saving first, and investing smartly, you can achieve financial stability and long-term wealth creation. Taking small but steady steps will lead to financial freedom in the long run.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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