I'm a 53 year old father. My son is 17 yrs, I'm very disciplined, I expect the same from him. He his not neat. I keep telling him to eat properly, sit erect. But he hardly listens He is mostly interested in playing with phone. Some times I loose temper and scold him, in the flow I criticise him . Pls, suggest how to correct him without hurting. I'm I wrong?

Ans: Hi there! As adults, our arguments in a marriage or relationship are inevitable. But with kids around, we need to be more cognisant of the fact that kids get influenced very quickly. Since their emotional spectrums are being developed when they experience arguments or fights, they begin to believe that is normal , but since they are unable to process the frustration that arises , they tend to take it out in their own behaviour with their peers and in their social settings. The best way to address this with the child is through a counsellor or a therapist. As parents who are arguing or fighting, you are the trigger or their anger and instability and the trust factor or the feeling of you being the safe space for them has been compromised. Have your child consult a professional coach or counsellor who will ensure the child gets a safe space to express and will help re build the bridge between you and your child with their expertise of handling the child's psychology and helping your son process his feelings.

Ans: Silence is a beautiful and powerful language. Communication is both by talking and by our body-language. Home is his familiar place where he knows everyone and can talk. But school he must be trying his best behaviour, working on academics and observing everything by being silent. A few suggestions:
1. Connect with a few mothers from his class, meet for fun play in the park, perhaps 2-hours with other children at home as aplay-date.
2. Make him join an activity class where his classmates are going so that he builds friendship and starts to talk.
Do write back, on the progress.

Ans: Dear Nafees,
Well, your son is at an age where his focus is getting validation from girls. And he's just doing that...
Is there a father figure or some male member within the family who can take on the role of stepping in as your husband is away? This person can help guide your son back where he starts to focus on academics and understanding that social circles are just part of his life and right now the focus must be on his studies...if he still does not change, kindly call your husband back for a few weeks to take care of the situation...the boy needs his father/father figure who can be firm with him and yet appeal to him at this juncture of life.
It does not mean that as a mother you can't do this...It's just that he isn't responding to you and that's why I am making an alternate suggestion...Make this attempt and see what happens...

All the best!