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Worried mom asks: How to make my 12.5-year-old son take his studies and other activities seriously?

Archana

Archana Deshpande  | Answer  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more
Sunil Question by Sunil on Sep 10, 2024Hindi
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Career

Hi Mam, Hope you are doing well. I am very worried about my son who is now 12.5 years old and studying in 7th standard in a very reputed school. Since childhood, he has no interest in studies, unless we doesn't seat in front of him, he doesn't study. Every teacher from his kindergarten days upto now has the same complaint that he is doesn't pay attention in class and the result is he doesn't get good marks in the exam. When we scold him for studies, he does it for that particular time only and then get back to his non-interest mode again and start to run from studies. He will play video games, goes to play around with his friends, he will find some or the other reason for not doing studies or homework. The irony is that he is not interested in any sports or any other kind of activities. In every summer holidays, we make him to join some sports or music classes, but there also he doesn't show interest and do things just for the sake of showing. From last year, we have started sending him to tuitions also, but no change in attitude. This year we have found a teacher of his reputed school who is retired and taking tuitions, we are sending him to her and she is charging a big amount for tuitions. please guide how can we change his attitude and make him more serious in any activity he does as he doesn't have interest in anything (we have observed doing everything we can).

Ans: Hello Sunil!!

I am doing great, thank you for asking, God bless you!

I can totally understand when you say you are worried.

Your son is 12.5, he will soon be a teenager. There will be different challenges, I want you to read up on parenting a teenager and be ready to handle him well.

The problem as I see it is that everyone of you, his teachers included have made studies like a burden for him.... and subjected the young child to a lot of anxiety, he just wants to run away form it....
"Every teacher from his kindergarten days upto now has the same complaint that he is doesn't pay attention in class".... this statement of yours... it is the teacher's duty to ensure the child listens to him/her, how can she start labeling a child like this. From a young age your son has been conditioned to believe that he is not not good in studies, he doesn't focus and he doesn't sit in one place. All my sympathies are with your son...every child comes with immense potential and it's our duty as parents and teachers to nurture the child.

The following is what I propose so that we bring him back to loving to learn ( not score marks, that should never be the barometer)-
1. Love your child the way he is now
2. Give him lot of positive strokes
3. Have one on one sessions for any activity you plan for him... let him choose the activity, empower him
4. choose a teacher, who can get along with him and help him develop a positive attitude towards studies and life in general
5. look for a school where they nurture him... not just a reputed one...less number of students and a teacher who is invested in her/ his students,

If you can connect with me, I can help him. Have had many a students in this kind situation.
This is my website..
https://transformme.co.in/

Loads of best wishes to the whole family..
Career

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

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Relationship
Hello Sir, My Son 14 years old studing in 9th Standard has not pay attention in studing, He is sleeping & lazy in all the Periods of School classroom.His body language is very idle & he has very Lazy guy. this is may due to he not eating healty food like, dryfruits, vegetable (eathing Junk Food) instead our so many attempt to do so. Myself & wife do all the attempt to improve him but we are failed in all the attempt. his school marks are only 30 to 40% & we are very much scare that he is going to failed in 9th standared. he also not listing to Teachers & our Advice but only ignore & sometimes arrogant in the argument. we have changes so many classes & private tution to improve in studey & behavour, but all attempts did not work. his only interest in Cricket, watching TV & Mobile. Request to need your valuable advice & tips to make changes in my son.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling in school. It's great that you and your wife are trying to help him. Here are some tips that may help:

1. Encourage healthy habits: Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly can help improve focus and concentration.

2. Create a study-friendly environment: Make sure your son has a quiet, well-lit space to study. Remove any distractions, such as TV or mobile phones, during study time.

3. Set goals: Work with your son to set achievable goals for his studies. Break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks.

4. Reward progress: Celebrate your son's successes, no matter how small. Rewards can be as simple as a favorite meal or activity.

5. Encourage active learning: Encourage your son to take an active role in his learning. This can include asking questions, taking notes, and summarizing what he's learned.

6. Get support: Consider enlisting the help of a tutor or academic coach. They can provide additional support and guidance to help your son succeed.

Remember, every child learns differently, so it may take some time to find what works best for your son. Be patient and supportive, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if needed.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11064 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 16, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 15, 2026Hindi
Money
I have 12 lack Diamonds plain from orintal insurance company medicliam policy I want to know how much amount issue for lens for cataracts surgery
Ans: Your effort to maintain a high-value health insurance cover of Rs.12 lakh is very good. Many people realise the importance of medical insurance only during a hospitalisation. Because you already have a strong cover with The Oriental Insurance Company Limited, you have created an important financial protection layer for your family.

However, when it comes to cataract surgery and lens cost, health insurance policies usually have specific limits. It is important to understand these limits clearly.

» Understanding Cataract Surgery Coverage

– Cataract surgery is normally covered under mediclaim policies.
– The policy usually pays for hospitalisation, surgeon fee, OT charges, medicines, and intra-ocular lens (IOL).
– But most policies keep a limit on cataract treatment, even if the total sum insured is higher.

This means even if your policy cover is Rs.12 lakh, the cataract claim may be restricted to a smaller amount.

» Typical Cataract Limits in Health Insurance

In many mediclaim policies in India:

– Cataract surgery may be limited to around Rs.25,000 to Rs.40,000 per eye, depending on policy terms.
– Some upgraded plans allow up to Rs.50,000 or slightly higher per eye.
– Premium imported lenses, laser techniques, or advanced multifocal lenses may cost more and the extra amount has to be paid by the patient.

So the lens cost alone may range from Rs.8,000 to Rs.60,000 or more depending on the type selected. Insurance will usually reimburse only within the cataract limit mentioned in the policy

» How Lens Charges Are Treated

– Standard mono-focal lenses are generally covered within the cataract limit.
– Advanced lenses such as multifocal or toric lenses are treated as upgraded choices.
– The difference between the hospital bill and the policy limit becomes out-of-pocket payment.

Because hospitals sometimes suggest premium lenses, it is important to check the insurance approval amount before surgery.

» Practical Steps Before Surgery

– Ask the hospital to send a pre-authorisation request to the insurer.
– Confirm the maximum cataract limit per eye under your policy.
– Ask the hospital for a detailed estimate showing lens cost separately.
– Check whether the surgery will be cashless or reimbursement.

This small step avoids confusion during discharge.

» Financial Planning Perspective

From a Certified Financial Planner’s view, you have already taken a wise step by maintaining a large medical insurance cover. Cataract surgery is a common age-related treatment, and insurance helps reduce the financial burden.

Still, remember:

– Health insurance works with sub-limits for certain treatments.
– The sum insured does not always mean the entire bill will be paid.
– Understanding these limits in advance helps you plan your medical expenses calmly.

» Finally

Your Rs.12 lakh mediclaim cover is a strong safety net. For cataract surgery, the insurance company will normally pay only up to the cataract treatment limit mentioned in your policy, and any premium lens upgrade may need personal payment.

So the best action is to check the exact cataract limit in your policy schedule or call the insurer’s customer care before the surgery.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

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