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Shital Kakkar Mehra  | Answer  |Ask -

CEO Coach, Business Communication Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2023

With over 20 years of experience, Shital Kakkar Mehra is one of India’s leading coaches for CEOs. She has personally trained over 45,000 professionals across Asia, including numerous CEOs from leading multinational and progressive domestic companies. Mehra is an All-India gold medallist in hospitality administration from the Institute of Hotel Management, Mumbai. She also holds a bachelor’s degree in sociology from the University of Mumbai and an executive presence certification from Cornell University.... more
Riki Question by Riki on Apr 11, 2023Hindi
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Hello madam/sir, I have a question in my mind. I work in a bank. I donot like to talk much with anyone, while other colleagues are free among themselves. Does this emit any sense of ego, or haughtiness or the likes from me? How do others perceive my behaviour? I do reply their questions, wherever possible. Or else i prefer to be in me. Their questions sometimes are more of spiral in nature. Please help.

Ans: Dear Riki,
Building healthy workplace relationships is critical for success and smooth working. While you are a quieter person, do make an effort to have a few meaningful conversations with your colleagues - it builds better likeability quotient.
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2023Hindi
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hi , I am a 40 year old man with 2 kids and wife , aged parents .Financially and health wise i am doing good and working in a reputed mnc. My relationship with parents , wife ,kids and siblings is in good spirits . however i am an introvert and don't have many friends .while i had friends in childhood and youth however they have moved in there life .i want to have an improved social life and also have joined a course to improve social skills and more strong relationship socially and at work . As course suggest to approach people , however i still don't approach/talk to people when opportunity is there .i also tried to have more positive attitude towards other people ..however still sometimes i start criticizing them in my mind...and sometimes i feel that approaching /talking may belittle me in front of them,,,, and talking /approaching opposite sex is even more difficult ... any suggestion to improve on this part and how i can improve my social life and get/find company of like minded people .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Two things to understand here:
1. You are an introvert and you are happy being one
2. You are a forced introvert as you are unable to break the walls that you have put around you.

If you belong to the first category, enjoy the state of bliss as is. But from what I gather, you seem to falling under the second category wherein you want to expand your social circle and be a part of activities etc.
Then you have to put yourself out there.
1. Do understand that as much you want to be engaged with like-minded people, even these people will at some point in time think different from you.
2. Do accept people for who they are and that way you will come from a non-judgemental space while engaging with them.
3. Do connect with people who are totally different from you and it will help you expand your mind to be curious about them.

If this is a difficult thing to do...think....What if one of your children came to you with the same problem that you have now? What would you tell them to do?
Also, get into circles on social media that discuss topics which interest you. Join a gym or a hobby class and that is an avenue to make new friends irrespective of gender.
To add more friends, you need to be friendly as well...so open your heart and mind...

All the best!

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I am working as Branch Manager in Bank. My nature is more talkative and also due to my job many customers are meeting me. This fact increases my talkative nature and due to this though customer is satisfying my working time get reduced and I can't do my office work. Please advice about how to overcome this.
Ans: It's great that you're aware of the impact your talkative nature has on your work efficiency. Here are some strategies to help you manage your talkative tendencies while balancing customer satisfaction and your office responsibilities by establishing clear boundaries for your interactions with customers. While it's important to provide excellent customer service, set limits on the length and depth of conversations to ensure you can prioritize your office work. Allocate specific time slots during your day for customer interactions and office tasks. Use techniques like time blocking to schedule dedicated periods for meeting with customers and focusing on your administrative duties. Identify your most critical office tasks and prioritize them based on importance and urgency. Focus on completing high-priority tasks during designated office hours, and schedule customer meetings around these priorities. Delegate certain customer interactions or administrative tasks to your team members or support staff. Empower your team to handle routine inquiries or transactions, freeing up your time to focus on strategic priorities. When engaging with customers, practice active listening to understand their needs and concerns effectively. Summarize key points and address their inquiries efficiently to prevent conversations from veering off-topic. Clearly communicate your availability and office hours to customers. Set realistic expectations regarding response times for inquiries or follow-ups, and inform customers of alternative points of contact for urgent matters. Implement visual cues or signals to indicate when you're available for conversations with customers and when you need uninterrupted time for office work. For example, use a "Do Not Disturb" sign or closed office door during focused work sessions. Reflect on your communication habits and identify triggers or patterns that contribute to excessive talking. Practice self-awareness and mindfulness techniques to manage impulsivity and maintain focus during work hours.

Consider participating in workshops, seminars, or training programs focused on time management, communication skills, and customer service excellence. Develop strategies and techniques to enhance your effectiveness in managing customer interactions and office responsibilities.

By implementing these strategies and techniques, you can strike a balance between providing excellent customer service and fulfilling your office duties effectively. Remember that managing talkativeness is a skill that can be honed over time with practice, self-discipline, and a proactive approach to improving your work habits.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu Mam Im 27 yrs old ( married) and 10 yrs old daughter. Im seperated from my husband since 2 yrs due to several reasons like he is drinking and Totally addicted to it. And he is totally dependent and now today also roaming on the roads of some streets of hyd. I belongs to an orthdox family. Now the question is one backward caste man who is married age : 33 he is interested in me and proposed me to a marriage after knowing all my past and saying that he accepts my child too. And the thing is he said a lie to me at first that he is unmarried and even though i had a good impression on him about the way he behaves with me he even treat me in a very polite manner. He says he loves me even though i too had a good impression but the things are the castes and can we both settle down with a marriage can we be happy or he is only trying to convince me to get him a wife to care care of him or only for his parents, he always talks about his own sister and also the office colleagues calls them sister and get emotional about them those who left the office. And he cries a lot which i dont trust on him and the face i see him that was not an real cry that looks like an act which i dont like in him. May he is acting ? Or really loving me, ge cares alot i feel like he is over reacting
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are in doubt, then it's highly likely that he is putting on an act. Go with your intuition and hey hey, you said that he is married and so are you...You do realize that you just can't go ahead and marry while you are already to other people, right?
Focus on what's happening in your life; you obviously have to do something about it...Other relationships can wait!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Hello Ms Anu, I am a 42yr female..married since 14 yrs and have 10yr old son . I am highly qualified and financially independent. My marriage was a arranged one.. but in these 14 yrs.. I never experienced love or and attachment from my husband's side. He is a family man.. there is no other woman involved..He loves his parents and his two sisters immensely... but always treats me as a option. I feel humiliated and lonely and he has short temper when i talk about this issue... so basically I don't discuss... but that is no solution... I am suffering and unhappy. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A few married men can be more focused on the women on their side of the family; it becomes easy to express love, care and attention to them as he has grown with them.
A wife happens to be someone that he is yet to understand. It requires effort to make a marriage work; your husband finds it convenient to take the easy way out and 'hang out' with his family.
So, here you take the lead and start. Start not by bringing forth your complaints as this is going to push him further to them which is going to annoy you BUT by inviting him to be with you. A lot of work, I get it...but the bottom line: that's what you want, right?
Plan dates evenings, take short vacations together, work-out together...the key is to establish a connection which never had its chance in the first place...So, give your best shot! Most times actions speak louder than words ever can...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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