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How can a 40-year-old man rebuild his career and improve his life?

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10849 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Nayagam is a certified career counsellor and the founder of EduJob360.
He started his career as an HR professional and has over 10 years of experience in tutoring and mentoring students from Classes 8 to 12, helping them choose the right stream, course and college/university.
He also counsels students on how to prepare for entrance exams for getting admission into reputed universities /colleges for their graduate/postgraduate courses.
He has guided both fresh graduates and experienced professionals on how to write a resume, how to prepare for job interviews and how to negotiate their salary when joining a new job.
Nayagam has published an eBook, Professional Resume Writing Without Googling.
He has a postgraduate degree in human resources from Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan, Delhi, a postgraduate diploma in labour law from Madras University, a postgraduate diploma in school counselling from Symbiosis, Pune, and a certification in child psychology from Counsel India.
He has also completed his master’s degree in career counselling from ICCC-Mindler and Counsel, India.
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Asked by Anonymous - Sep 29, 2024Hindi
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Career

Hello I am a 40 year old unmarried male. I did my graduation in Hotel management and passed out in the year 2006. After that i worked in few hotels in India and intrest of work in operations of hotel fizzled out. I sat idle doing nothing for a year or so and den helped my dad with his business that we had. In 2009 i did my MBA marketing from a Pune university college and passed out in 2011. Due to my hotel mgmt background i started working in five star hotel marketing department after passing out my MBA marketing. I got the hotel marketing job in Nov 2011. I worked in the same hotel till April 2014 after which i got an apportunity to work with big corporate hospital in the corporate marketing department. I worked there till 2018 after which i got a opportunity to work in a bigger corporate hospital in a different city in the marketing department. I worked there till Sept 2022, after which i was forced to take a break from work coz needed to take care of my ailing mother who underwent a Liver transplant. I was forced to take a break of around one year and months and i did nothing but took care of my mothers health. In the meanwhile i also lost my father in Road accident. My mother is fine now and its been one year and four months after the Liver Transplant. I have again started working in the hospital that i use to work before in the same marketing department. No other hospitals were ready to take me in coz the gap tht i had in my career. I have started working since July 2024. Now i feel tht i have already lost a lot of ground in terms of my carrier. I feel tht i am not well paid. All my life i have been bullied a lot hence i have self confidence issues. I feel coz of the nature of my job and less salary that is 9 lakhs per annum i am not getting any proper marriage proposals. I have not able to save anything in my life coz all my life i hav only worked and spent all my money on others. I also feel tht compared to others i lag in knowlege as well. Self confidence is the biggest problem. I want to grow now in my career and improve my personality now. I want you to guide in regards with the career as well and also means to improve my overall life. I want someone to talk to who would help and be guide at this moment of my life. Can someone of you make time and i can talk to them, so tht i could get direction in life. Right now emotionally, mentally and i feel physically also have hit my rock bottom.

Ans: I applaud your treatment and story-sharing bravery. You've surmounted terrible odds, and your progress is admirable. Simplify and construct a career and personal plan. You Grow Career: You have varied hotel and hospital marketing. You may feel behind, but your experience is valuable. The next step? Digital, healthcare, and data analytics credentials improve marketing skills. LinkedIn Learning, Coursera, and Google provide affordable, flexible courses. Return to industry professional networks. Attend hospital marketing events and webinars to network with mentors and employers. Healthcare Marketing is popular. To stand out, focus on patient involvement, brand strategy, or digital efforts. Better Choices: Pharma, health tech, and healthcare marketing occupations pay more. Showcase your suffering and perseverance. Startups and medical device companies value adaptable marketing.
Financial safety: Budgeting: Save on a strict budget. Even a small monthly savings can provide stability. Set aside 3-6 months of living expenditures for emergencies.
Think about low-risk investments like mutual funds or term deposits to grow your savings.

Rebuild your self-confidence step-by-step:
Personal Development: To overcome bullying and regain self-worth, see a psychologist. Grateful: Celebrate small victories daily. Gain long-term self-esteem. To boost energy and confidence, walk, perform yoga, or go to the gym. Stress reduction and resilience can be achieved with Calm and Headspace meditation applications. Online or local career transition support groups can provide social and emotional help. Others' tales inspire.
Marriage proposals: If you are emotionally ready, willing to grow, and honest with your partner, you should be married at 40, even with a low salary. How you grow together is key to many successful partnerships. You need someone who values you for who you are, not simply your salary. Befriend Positive Friends and Coworkers. Instant Actions: Ask local Career Coaches and mentors for unique advice. Update LinkedIn, Resume: Emphasize career accomplishments. Encourage resilience and accountability during your break.
Goals: Set 3-6 month and 1-2 year career and personal improvement goals.
Getting past personal issues demonstrates strength. Returning to work shows resilience. Success is nonlinear and takes persistence. Choose small, daily acts that promote your goals. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future.
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2023

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I am 48 years old. Ever since my childhood I was a bright student but was denied education and other facilities like good clothes, footwears etc despite I was being a only son having 2 sisters, where as eldest sister was provided with extra facilities which she did not care for. Our economical background was moderate. We were not poor. After my schooling which was free I completed my diploma and degree in mech. Engg(long distance education) of my own and worked in related companies for 10 years. My performance was appreciated orally but received nominal monitory benefits. After that I learnt Info Tech skills from my savings and worked in IT field for 16 years. Here also my work was highly appreciated but received quite a minimal monitory benefits, May be because of my very simple and state forward nature but not naïve one certainly. Now since last 1 year I learnt trading skills in share market, but here also, even though I am not in loss but is still awaiting a minimum satisfactory success. I am able to cater to all the requirement of my nuclear family but does not have a car and still not able to make long distance tours. Now days I feel like I am a big looser and also feel like my luck will never let me win big. Whereas most of my friends have achieved great success in less than 5% struggle than mine with the help of their parents. I am feeling diminished, lost, wasted and hapless/hopeless. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's accept that not all of us are born with a silver spoon and furthermore, we may always be at the losing end with core relationships as well...
At 48, do you want to go back in time and count all that went wrong, how unfair people and life was? Are you able to change anything? NO!

1. You cannot change your past but you can certainly change the way you feel about it.
2. The way you feel about your past is what will create your current reality. You can check with yourself; your present life is possibly filled with challenges and short-lived happy times. That is because you have chosen to play the VICTIM card even now. What happens in the past, stays there.
3. Why not instead laud your efforts at learning new skills at trading and expand your expertise through certifications and other forms of learning? This will not only help at work but will also teach you to look within yourself more.
4. I am unsure if your statistic of 5% is something that you have come up with enough research
5. Your parents did what they could and to accept it even if you feel unfairly treated is the only way you can move ahead

Choose: Play the victim of the past OR Play the creator of the present and future.

To choose the latter will mean. letting go of the past that you are holding onto? Are you ready to do this? I am sure you want to; who wouldn't want to create a better life for themselves?

All the best!

..Read more

R P

R P Yadav  | Answer  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Aug 14, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2023Hindi
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Career
Hellow sir, Request you to please suggest and help? I am 39 yrs old male with no job in hand. I am not married as well. Actually my mom was detected with liver cirrhosis and was asked to have liver transplant on Septemeber 2022. After tht i was all after taking care of my mom and looking out for donors. I didnt hav anybody to take care of my mom, my sister is settled in USA and she was expecting. Hence she could nt help, but all the financal help was done by her. My mom underwent Liver Transplant in the month of May 2023 and now she is recovering. I am with her taking care of her. I hav Dad, bt he is also very old. I was before sept 2022 working in a Reputed hospital as deputy marketing manager. I have done my MBA marketing as well with a hotel management degree. I have a total of 11 years of experience with 8.26 lakhs per year package. I always felt in regards of my marriage i m unable to get a match coz i dont hav a suitable job with good package. At 39 i m unable to upgrade my skills coz of all my responsibilities. Maybe September i am thinking of looking out for a job, as my sister is going to return from US. I want to get married and lead a normal life. I also want to grow in life so that i can keep my family happy. I m afraid of being alone all my life, coz my parents in regards with dere health are not doing well. I also want grow in my career. Request you to please guide me what should i do in life ahead . I had no relatives support that is why i had to leave my job to take care of my Parents. At 39 i feel tht i m too old to get married as dere are very few proposals of my age and those which are dere are very much well settled in life and would epexct somone who is more sucessful than me.
Ans: Hi,
I can understand that you have got two issues primarily. First, you need to get a job and secondly is to get married along with taking care of your parents. You can look for jobs through job portals and look for match through various matrimony portals and marriage bureaus. If you do this consistently for a few months, you are bound to succeed.

..Read more

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Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

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My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

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