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HR, Recruitment Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2023

Air Commodore Nitin Sathe (retd) is an IAF veteran with experience in aviation, aviation management, recruitment and HR.He has commanded a frontline base in Jammu and Kashmir, served with the UN Peace Keeping Force in Congo and volunteered for tsunami relief operations. Today, he is a certified recruiter and personality assessor.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 19, 2023Hindi

Sir, I am a BTech MBA student with close to 20 years of experience in IT sector. I have climbed the ladder in corporate and currently working for a reputed MNC. I earn well. Few years back due to a severe health issue, had to undergo surgery and now struggle with my health due to loss of a internal organ. My energy levels are down and I am unable to focus and thrive in my job. At the same time, my marital life is full of misunderstandings and has no peace. I am not blaming anyone here but I am assessing my situation. Due to all this, I am more spiritually inclined towards salvation. However I have my parents, child and family to finish my responsibility. Basically I have lost the drive to work due to my poor health and all the stress in life but at the same time need money for family, medical expenses and parents. I lost my previous job due to being not committed and finally was fired because I did not live upto the expectations. I managed to get another job but here too I am unable to deliver due to all the issues in my life. (health, marital, lack of focus etc) I am 45 now. I tried yoga, and few other activities to boost my health. My doctor claims that I cannot work like before due to my health issue and my mind is very much oriented towards spiritual studies but I have a family duty to do. Can you tell me how should I handle all this ? I wanted to add more and hence re-submitting the question again, I love being alone with myself, I dont like people, crowd, and I am afraid of them, I want to be left alone and away from everyone. I am a normal person but I somewhat feel unnecessary to mingle and speak to people because everyone is just gossiping or talking politics or talking some irrelevant subject or conversing about someone else, providing opinions and perceptions, which at the end of the day leads to nothing ? Hence I avoid people and interaction unless it is into spirituality. After aligning to spirituality, i feel like functioning in this existence has become difficult because everything is just a play and a game and everyone's karma is dissolving or creating for their satisfaction of desires. This too is hampering my career,

Ans: You seem to be blaming your health for all the issues you are dealing with as of now. I suggest you do the following…
First read a book titled ‘Born to Fly’ It is about a pilot who loses all his limbs due to an accident and how he rebuilds his life to a more meaningful one. I am sure you will feel motivated by this reading.
Secondly, I do strongly feel that you need to go to a counsellor and get rid of the negative thoughts that seem to be plaguing you.
Thirdly, I do not agree that keeping away from people is a right thing to do. Human beings need to interact with each other to lead a fruitful life. You need to understand this and Counseling as above would help you.
I await hearing from you again after you do the above!
Best of luck!

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Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2020

Question by S - Oct 06, 2020Hindi

Hi Anu, I am 42 yrs old male. I am a Public Health Professional and work in an International NGO on health issues based in Delhi. I have ageing parents (both suffering from cardiac illness, diabetes and hypertension) which are based in Mumbai, my immediate family (wife and two kids) stays with my parents as there is no one else to take care of them. My parents especially my father is adamant that he doesn’t want to leave his house and stay with me in Delhi. As a result my immediate family is also forced to stay in Mumbai taking care of my parents. My wife is very supportive, however as this situation is like this since last 4-5 years and we are staying in two different cities, it has now taking stall at emotionally and physically on both of us (me, my wife and my two kids). I am desperately searching for job in Mumbai, however in my sector there are not very good opportunities in Mumbai. I tried my hands in two there places for job, however to my misfortune things didnt work out. I am a mid-senior level professional and have reached this position after a lot of hard work, however the stress has started affecting my performance and overall reputation in the organization. Hence there is constant stress of performance, ability to deliver, overall situation has lowered my confidence level affecting my work further. Dissatisfied with my work, my supervisor has already started sidelining me. I am desperately started thinking of leaving the job, however financial condition doesn’t allow me to do that. With COVID-19 pandemic things has worsened, as I am stuck in Delhi even in lockdown, leaving my parents and my wife struggling in Mumbai amidst the lockdown. Even now cant visit them as stressed, whether i will carry risk of infection to my parents, wife and kids, Hence staying away, it’s been 8 months that have not met them. Not sure, how to handle this. One way I thought as looking out opportunities in Mumbai, even if at junior level, However i am trying for that, but not getting suitable opportunities. Not sure, how to handle the pressures from family (Parents don't want to shift, wife is not ready to stay away and has given time till March, there constant pressure of performance). Not sure, what to do.

Ans: Dear S, surely, this pandemic has put many at inconvenience in different ways for each of us across the planet.

What we can do is make the best of what is at this point in time. It indeed is hard to be away from family at a time like this.

I know parents in some families do find it hard adjusting to a new city at their age and having your wife care for them as logical as the decision was has begun to take a toll on the family as a whole.

It is an amazing feeling to come back home to a family after a hard day’s work where they wait with love, care and support.

Either a job in Mumbai or moving your family to Delhi are the options as it is evident that family and their love is important for you to have the security and stability.

Having said this, Lockdown 5.0 begins soon, I think fearlessly take a call, visit your family.

If you think you want to isolate yourself in the fear of COVID-10, do so…but more that all of this, do sit down as a family, COMMUNICATE, talk to your parents about how this is affecting you and obviously they care and love you enough to hear your side of the story.

And finally, do what needs to be done to make sure that your parents understand and are taken care of and your wife and children are with you as a family.

Happy decision making and be happy!

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