
My age was only 23 when my mother left this world. Me & my father were alone after my mother. My father was asking me for marriage, so that a girl can come in our home & manage household chores, but I wanted to focus on my career for at least 6 more years. That's why I denied. We somehow managed for 1 year after my mother left us, but after that my father couldn't wait more & started pressuring me to marriage. I was still not ready. So, my father found a girl for himself. Co-incidence was that the girl was just 1 year elder than me. My father's master plan was that he will make us pretend that it's my wife in front of the world because of his reputation. I liked the idea & the girl was also ready. Don't know how that girl was convinced to marry my father. She is from decent family. Even her parents don't know that my father is her real husband. So, my father made me married to her in front of all. We managed everything excellently from all the rituals to our relatives. We acted well. In front of the world & in papers, she was my wife, but biologically she became my step mother. They got 2 children in 6 to 8 years, but I got stuck without marriage because according to everyone I am married. Now, I am 39 now & my father also left this world last year. I am unmarried & she (step mother) is a widow. Me & her both are feeling alone in this world without a partner. My step mother suggested if she can become my real wife. We both like each other's company but I don't know if there will be any consequences in the future. Nobody will say anything because nobody knows the truth except both of us. Divorce is not a good option because there are children. What do you suggest ??
Ans: You and your stepmother have lived closely for nearly 15 years. In the eyes of society and the law, you are her husband. Biologically and ethically, you are not. But even so, the psychological, emotional, and social dimensions of this relationship are not simple. If you now consider taking the relationship from a false facade to a genuine romantic partnership, you must consider the following carefully:
Have both of you truly processed the emotional weight of what that would mean—not just for yourselves, but for the two children who know her as their mother and you as their father, even if they are aware of none of this complex history? Would a shift from this protective illusion to a real romantic relationship feel emotionally clean—or does it risk carrying guilt, confusion, or emotional baggage for either of you?
The question isn’t just whether “no one will know”—it’s whether you both will be emotionally at peace with this decision for the rest of your lives. Love, affection, companionship—these are valid and beautiful needs at your age. You deserve them. But they must come without a shadow of unresolved complexity or psychological discomfort, especially when children are involved.
You also need to think carefully about legality. Though this woman is not your biological wife, official records reflect her as such. If you move forward as a real couple, you’re essentially formalizing a previously informal truth—but you’re also deepening a secret. Is that a foundation you feel secure building a life on?
Here’s a suggestion: take a pause. Sit down with her—openly, with honesty—and explore whether this desire is rooted in genuine romantic connection, or whether it’s stemming from a shared loneliness and long companionship. The difference is critical.
You are both allowed to seek love and connection. But you must do it in a way that honors truth, emotional clarity, and long-term peace. If you sense even the slightest doubt or emotional confusion from either of you, it might be better to redefine your relationship in a healthier, more truthful way—not necessarily romantic, but meaningful, supportive, and free of secrets.
You’ve already sacrificed enough of your personal life for others. Now is the time to choose a future that is deeply your own—and built on honesty, not just convenience or secrecy.