This will be kind of a long story... I've been in a relationship for over 4 years now and I really love spending time with my girlfriend and I never cheated on her...like she is the one, but as time goes I seem to have a different opinion of what I want in life...for she doesn't want kids and I do and sometimes that's a reason for discussion but not over-escalating it just ends there...lately we don't even have sex like about 2 months now...she fell ill for some time and now she is ok we barely get to go out. So I started this new job on some kind of high position within the company like a month ago and we had an after-office time, there was this girl there that is in another department...didn't really called my attention in there, we sat in a table and started talking and drinking, in one of the things we talked I spoke about my current relationship (everyone did) and even metioned the I want kids problem. The party was over finished in that place and we hit a club. In there of course booze was up and this girl just started dancing all sexy on me and I was like oookay then...well of course alcohol gets the best or worst of us so I started dancing with her and In one of those moments we were sooo close and I yes...I tried to kiss her...she just laughed and avoided in the first time but then...we were kissing and touching just too passionaly that having the clothes on was really annoying ..well I was really drunk, problem for me was about our other colleagues...will they report this...will she tell? (this can really go against me as I am new in the company) will others tell (because everyone saw us) I didn't wrote her later because I was too damn embarrassed, in the next week I was like so nervous at the job and when we cross paths we just say hi in a normal way and this just brings thoughts to my head of guilt and embarrassement but NOT REGRETTING thoughts... this no regret thing is driving me crazy...I see her and start looking at her in a different way, like I pay attention to the way she dress, the way she has her hair, she walks and I said to myself...WTF IS HAPPENING am I falling gor this girl? So I wrote her and wanted to clear up some things...if she told someone (but it was more line an excuse just to talk to her about what happened and try to know what she felt), but she justs...DOESN'T HAVE IDEA WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT...really? And as you can imagine we didn't get to talk about this and honestly in my head I get lot of mixed ideas about this reaction of her...like the things I said before anything happened...like my relationship thing or she is just applying some sort of strategy or It was just one night rush and FULL of regrets now... but c'mon we see each other everyday. I KNOW I did bad for cheating on my girlfriend but the emotion there is absolutely gone and the thing with this girl...well when we talked in the bar I spoke of wanting to have kids and everything maybe she also wants it? Did she took all the first interaction and I was really being attractive there? Well what should I do? I am not writting her anymore to push her to talk...her reaction of ignoring what happened gives me the right sign to stop it there I want her really bad and I'm about to give up my relationship in these days...