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Anu

Anu Krishna  |823 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Ravi Question by Ravi on Jun 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi for some reason nowdays, I am having this fetish about my wife having an affair. It does not help that she is good looking flirty with other guys and they flirt back at her. But instead of getting angry the idea of her having sex with some other guy turns me on like crazy. Is there anything wrong with me and what should I do to change this mindset.

Ans: Dear Ravi,
What happens with two consenting adults and in your case, the two of you are married...it is strictly between them.
Now, the challenge would be if your fetish is something that your wife does not want to indulge into...
Also, if this becomes the only way that you can be intimate with you wife, then you will start to become dependent on it. That's when you become a slave to it and without it, you will feel no attraction.

This way can possibly be a good add-on spice to your intimate life. But, also bring back the spice between the two by spending more quality time with each other...Do remember, there's a good reason why you married her and you do know the reason why you used to be attracted by her. Bring that back and use this add-on more as something that you summon only at times. It's not that difficult, a bit of effort to connect more meaningfully as a couple can help here...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |823 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I don't want to disclose my name. I am married and have two children. I have a beautiful wife but I always tend to think about having a relationship with other women. I haven't had any relationship but I also want to be loyal to my wife. Our sex life is average. Everyday I try to avoid thinking this is useless but I can’t. Please advice.
Ans:

Dear IS,

What we try and avoid, we obsess over that more.

What is the real reason for wanting a relationship outside of marriage?

It is very easy and tempting to run away from facing issues that might be plaguing your marriage and hold on to something outside. Justifications maybe many.

Have you and your wife worked out issues at an emotional level.

Sex is one element of marriage and not the only one.

Maybe she feels emotionally disconnected from you as you might feel physically disconnected from her.

Whatever it is, bringing another person into a marriage isn’t going to sort out anything.

But if you have decided that a few complications aren’t going to hurt, well that is what is leading you to obsess over wanting another woman.

Instead, can you actually think of rebuilding the marriage? Of course, the want needs to be there else it’s a pointless exercise.

It takes a lot of work and patience and calm understanding between spouses to make a marriage work. Slippages can cost a parson his/ her marriage.

So, maybe it’s time to actually list down the best qualities you see in your wife and oh, yes WHY the two of you married in the first place, This WHY can re-energize you to look at things differently and more usefully.

The fact that you want to be loyal to your wife does suggest that there is a lot of love and care still in the marriage.

Who knows, the obsessive thoughts may fade…give your marriage another chance. I am sure you know that it deserves that chance!

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |823 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 27, 2023

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am happily marrried for 11 years with no kids. This doesnt hamper our relationship and I wish to continue my life happily. Issue is i feel urge to chat with female friends, get into sexting and in a couple of instances got physical as well. In this process i have lost a few friends also as they did get intimate during the chat but later on felt guilty. I do not feel guilty. Me and my wife indulge in roleplays during foreplay and i am also open to be a cuckold during that. Sometimes she enjoys the talk of someone else but sometimes she gets turned off by it. I truely love her and would never leave her. But this habit of mine has cost me a few friends and i am afraid if she would come to know about this, it will destroy her emotionally which i do not want.
Ans: Dear Suraj,
Well, if both of you consent to this experimentation in the bedroom, alright...be happy! But, if she is not comfortable with something, then better to talk about it rather than push it any further. It's fun as long as both the partners enjoy it.
But, what seems to bother you is losing your friends due to intimate chats. Why are you indulging in it? Is it another form of experimentation? Is it an experience that serves you in a way that you can be closer to your wife?
Human beings do things that ultimately results in some form of gain to themselves. But if this is impacting your social circle, then it's time to understand that you must STOP!
Maybe what started off as harmless, turned into something more serious in your female friends and they feel guilty.
You might feel open and quiet fine with these intimate chats, but for them it doesn't end well and they have begun to move away from you. So, seriously turn this off and if you feel that this will hurt your wife, why then?
Making sense?

All the best! Do the wise thing!
(more)
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |177 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello. Although i am married for 12 years and have a 9 year old son, the relationship with My Wife when it comes to Intimacy is not good. There was a Female Colleague in My Last Company who was very much similar to me when it comes to hobbies and interests. Although i and her left that Job sometime back, but till date i am in touch with her and love talking to her. I talk with her everyday wishing her on WhatsAPP and sometimes chat on life. But i guess have developed feelings for her but i am not sure. Due to lack of sex in my married life, i sometimes also fantasise about her making love. She is ok always meeting me but i fear that if i meet her i might cross the line. Is it ok to feel like that and should i share my feelings with Her?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

A long-term relationship might seem mundane and routine after a while but that does not permit you to develop feelings for someone else. While meeting up with your female colleagues is no big deal, when you have feelings for that colleague and doubt that you might cross a line, do you still think it's worth considering the meet-up? I doubt that.

I understand that you have a good bond with this person, and you are feeling unfulfilled in your marriage, but that still does not allow you to cheat on your wife in good conscience. I suggest three things-

1) Introspect and evaluate why you are having these feelings outside of your marriage.
2) Have a clear discussion about the same with your wife.
3) Work on the issue one step at a time, and work on it together. If needed, see a marriage counselor. We all need a little extra help once in a while.

Every marriage hits a bump or two. It will be okay once you shift your focus to the right place.

Best Wishes!
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Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |322 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 26, 2024

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Sir, my daughter is going to finish her BA with Psychology Honours from Indraprastha College for Women, Delhi University. She has received an offer to pursue her MSC in Organizational Psychology from University of Manchester, UK. We would like to know more about the future prospects of this course and the employability. Also, we would like to know how different it is from an MBA in Human Resources?
Ans: Hello Rohit,

To begin with, thank you for contacting us. I am glad to hear that your daughter is going to complete her Bachelor of Arts (BA) with Psychology Honours and has received an offer to pursue her Master of Science (MSc) in Organizational Psychology from the University of Manchester in the UK. To answer your question first, I would like to tell you that your daughter will be offered a solid basis in understanding human behavior in the workplace as well as real-world abilities in fields viz., talent management, employee evaluation, and organizational development through pursuing a Master of Science in Organizational Psychology from the University of Manchester. Students pursuing this degree are provided with the information and skills required to tackle different difficulties that organizations encounter, viz., leadership effectiveness, employee motivation, and team dynamics.

Concerning your query regarding the future prospects and employability, I would like to tell you that with businesses recognizing the significance of comprehending and maximizing their manpower, the demand for organizational psychology continues to rise. You would be glad to know that your daughter can choose from many different jobs including talent management, training and development, human resources, organizational consulting, and other positions with this degree. Remember that organizational pyschologists are respected for their ability to use psychological principles to enhance productivity in the workplace, employee satisfaction, and efficiency of the organization.

Next, coming to your query as to how this course is different from an MBA in Human Resources, I would like to let you know that an MSc in Organizational Psychology in comparison to an MBA in Human Resources generally places a greater emphasis on the psychological facets of the behavior and growth of organizations. Although topics associated with managing people within organizations is also covered in an MBA in Human Resources, it frequently adopts a more comprehensive corporate viewpoint encompassing fields viz., strategy, marketing, and finance.

I would like to tell you that your daughter's interests and professional objectives play a key role in deciding between an MSc in Organizational Psychology and an MBA in Human Resources. An MSc in Organizational Psychology would be a better choice if your daughter is interested in studying human behavior in the workplace and wishes to gain expertise in fields viz., leadership development, employee well-being, and organizational culture. On the contrary, if your daughter wants to acquire a deeper understanding of business management with a concentration on Human Resources (HR), and aspires to work in more general management positions within organizations, then an MBA in Human Resources may be an appropriate choice.

Remember that both paths can result in lucrative employment prospects. When making an informed choice, I would suggest that your daughter carefully takes into account her strengths, personal interests, and future professional objectives. Moreover, in order to acquire valuable information pertaining to the prospects following the completion of either degree, I would recommend that your daughter conducts a comprehensive study on particular labor markets as well as gets in touch with experts of both the domains.

For more information, you can visit our website.
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Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |322 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 26, 2024

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Dear Sushil, My daughter is 23 years old , finished her MBA from KIMS and got a job in Kirloskar Pune as a HR BP ( Management Trainee)in Jan 2024. Her results were good throughout. Topped 12 from Aditya, BSc Botany from Lady Brabourne kolkata ( 1st class first). Sir, we can't manage funds for going to abroad. Kindly guide us about her next step so that her career escalates. Sanchita
Ans: Hello Sanchita. Thank you for connecting with us. Congratulations to your daughter on her academic achievements and securing a position as an HR business partner (management trainee) at Kirloskar Pune. It is evident that she has a strong academic background, leading to promising career prospects ahead. It is understandable that there are financial constraints at the moment. Furthermore, let me tell you that there are educational loans that would be available for your daughter’s education abroad. Given your daughter’s excellent academic background, she can be eligible for scholarships and financial aid, either fully or partially. This would help your daughter manage her finances well abroad.There are some universities that come with financial aid packages like grants, loans, and work opportunities. This is specially designed to cover tuition fees, living expenses, etc. In addition to this, there are work opportunities as well, which would also be a good option for your daughter. By carefully planning and prioritising expenses, financial challenges won’t be an issue.

All the best to your daughter in her future endeavours.

For any further queries, please get in touch with us. We have a team of expert counsellors who can guide you through any concerns or questions you may have.
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