Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
srikanth Question by srikanth on May 01, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am in love with a girl for almost 2 years..but she loves some other guy which is mutual...but this girl is in touch with me on and off...sometimes she returns my WhatsApp messages...I just wanna know that is she still in love with that guy,(breakup)..bcoz at times I go beyond the line speaking sexually with her which she never encourages but till now she doesnt block me...also close with my family to some extent...Is there a possibility of my getting married to her ?

Ans: Based on what you've shared, it sounds like the girl you're in love with is currently in a mutual relationship with someone else. It's important to respect her feelings and her current commitment to someone else. Even though she may still be in touch with you, it doesn't necessarily mean that she's interested in pursuing a relationship with you.

It's not appropriate to go beyond the line and speak sexually with someone who has not given you clear signals that they are interested in that kind of conversation. It's important to respect boundaries and communicate clearly and openly with each other.

It's difficult to say whether there is a possibility of you getting married to her in the future. Ultimately, that decision would be up to her, and it's important to respect her choices and decisions, even if they're not the ones that you would hope for.

If you find that your feelings for this girl are causing you distress or interfering with your ability to move on, it may be helpful to seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional. They can provide a listening ear, help you process your emotions, and offer guidance on healthy coping strategies.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 05, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 42 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some compulsion they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot is still waiting for me and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
She is married and not happy and loves you BUT will not recognize your relationship in public!
You are unmarried and want to wait for someone who won't give you the presence that you deserve!
Do the right thing...allow her to be committed to her marriage rather than be her emotional crutch...in the long run, you will be left high and dry after investing a lot of emotions into her...
Shift focus onto your life and building it the way that you want. When you put your life and emotions into someone else's hands, you end up becoming a puppet swaying about with no stability whatsoever. Put more energies into yourself instead...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dear Mam. I like a girl precisely 23 years back through one of my relative. We met quite often.she was from different city. She confessed that she loves me and we were going good. The meetings used to happen only with the knowledge of my relative. One day I called her and requested for a meeting without the knowledge of my relative . There she confessed that she loves somebody else. It was shocking . I supported her and she went back to her boyfriend. I dont know what happened between them afterwards.As the time passed we married to different spouses. In 2016 she mailed me.( requesting for my number and for a meeting). We met and there she confessed that she does not love her husband. I asked about her boyfriend . She said that they are facebook friends. After that we talked quite often. We met also many times. Three years back I realised that she is still in touch with her boyfriend and they both are liking each other post and profile pics and used to talk long on whatsapp calls. When I confronted her she said that she still have feelings for each other.Lately she has started defending him and used to put status on whatsapp only where they both have good times. I can see that. I dont know how their spouses are reacting when they like each other post and pics. Myself and my wife had an arranged marriage . We are poles apart on many things. Somehow we both are managing our lives. She knew my past. What is bothering me Mam that she has only treated me as time pass. I gave her so much of my time. I Respect her. She has always used the word parallel ( for me and her boyfriend). Though she has hided me from her husband , but once I met him because she wanted that.Her boyfriend is in all her groups and social media apps like fb, insta. Kindly suggest me what should I do. Its an old feeling. Though we have moved on.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When you have realized that she is using you as a 'Time Pass', why exactly are you still mulling over the whole issue?
Do you still want to be her 'only available person' when she chooses to connect with you?
Going weak with feelings now from 23 years back doesn't really make sense, does it?

She hasn't quite figured out who she is with or who she wants to be with. (That's what I can gather from what you have shared in your email). So, why are you putting yourself in the equation as one the one men around her?
Take yourself out of it and focus on your life and its happenings. You and your wife maybe poles apart, but that need not be a reason to be someone's 'Time Pass.'

If you say that you have moved on, then truly move on. No point wasting your time on the past and someone from the past who has little respect for you, your feelings or your time.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi mam, im a lecturer since 5 years. Im in relationship with a girl from Srilanka. Most of our conversation was through mobile. She is a tutor in srilanka for 10 and below standard students. Now I'm 29, she is 27. Since 5 years we are loving each other. We hardly met. In Krishnagiri Tamilnadu I first met her in a Psychotherapy course, witch was about a month. We were good friends in the beginning of our relationship and at the end of a month course she was flying back to Srilanka, before she goes she kissed on my forehead, from then on im in love with the girl. For first few years we were happy in our relationship, but last two years onwards we fight almost every day. Both sides parents are fixing matches, both us are rejecting all the matches but we never shared with our families. Don't know where our relationship is going to end. Its not that my parents won't accept, but when my parents and siblings ask do you any one whom you want marry, or love some one I am not able to reveal to them. Many times I decided and planned and imagined to speak with my family but when it comes to reality im not able to speak. Other side she also is not revealing anything to her parents. Im rejecting the matches that are coming, she is also rejecting of hers. But both are not speaking properly now a days. Most of the time our relationship is filled with fights. Both are adjusting. Some time im feeling to stop the relationship and not to marry at all. I told her to marry as her parents say, and I don't want marry anyone. She is also saying me to marry some one and she wants remain single. But don't know what is happening between us. Im confused to continue or break up or marry her or not to marry her. Nothing is working in my mind. Recently my parents have brought a proposal who was my childhood crush. Suddenly I am indirectly telling her to marry to whom her parents give. She also getting good proposals but rejecting saying that she needs to work and earn money. Same reason I'm also giving. One more issue is she is tamilian of Srilanka and I'm Telugu from Andra. Both family members can't speak directly also. Unable to take any decisions. Kindly help me
Ans: The fact that you're not able to communicate openly with your families, despite rejecting matches on both sides, shows that there might be some fear or hesitation about fully committing to this relationship. Maybe it’s the distance, the cultural and language differences, or the struggles you’re having recently in your relationship that are making it difficult to move forward.

On the other hand, both of you seem to be stuck in a cycle where you're not happy but also not ready to let go. This might be causing even more stress and frustration, leading to the frequent fights. The decision to stay together or part ways is something only you both can make, but it sounds like there’s a lot of unresolved tension and unspoken fears in your relationship.

One thing to consider is having an honest conversation with each other, not about the fights or current frustrations, but about what you both want for the future. If you're both rejecting matches, it shows some level of commitment, but the real question is whether you both see a future together. Do you still love each other, or are you staying together out of habit and fear of the unknown?

If you both feel there is still something worth fighting for, it might be worth giving the relationship another chance by opening up to your families. This could ease the pressure you're feeling and help you both feel more supported. If, however, the love has faded and the fights have taken over, it may be time to re-evaluate whether staying together is what's best for both of you.

In any case, clarity will only come through open communication—both with her and your family. If you continue to stay in a relationship without making a clear decision, the frustration and confusion will likely grow. Take some time to reflect on what you really want, and then take the courageous step of addressing it with her and your families. This may not be easy, but it’s the first step to finding a resolution and peace in your heart.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8467 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2025

Money
Hi I am 40 years old who is earning 1.2 L per month income working in private sector. I am the only earner in my family. I have one kid who is in PP-2 (5 years old) and wife along with my mother. She is getting pension of 30 K per month. I have one Home Loan of 20L and personal loans of 5L. My sons school fees is 2L per annum. There are not much savings. I am investing in 50K in ICICI Gift Plan and 50K in Reliance Nippon. Started 1 year back. I would like to take suggestion setting up the plan for my child future and also for my retirement plan. I am also thinking of setting up a tea stall in near future. Please suggest
Ans: You are doing your best in a tough situation. Being the only earner, with family and loans, is not easy. You still invest Rs. 1 lakh monthly. That is a strong commitment. Let’s now structure a practical, balanced, and long-term plan. We’ll look at your current income, expenses, loans, and future goals.

You want a proper path for your child’s future and your own retirement. Also, starting a tea stall shows your drive to improve income. Let's plan it from all angles.

Income and Household Review

Your income is Rs. 1.2 lakh per month.

Mother gets pension of Rs. 30,000 per month.

So total household inflow is Rs. 1.5 lakh monthly.

That is a good income level for a four-member family.

Your child’s annual fee is Rs. 2 lakh. It needs monthly setting aside.

You have Rs. 25,000 monthly EMI (roughly) for Rs. 20 lakh home loan.

Rs. 8,000 to Rs. 10,000 likely EMI for Rs. 5 lakh personal loan.

You are investing Rs. 1 lakh monthly. That is very high in current situation.

You are left with little room for other goals or emergencies.

Loan Situation Needs Adjustment

Home loan is fine if EMI is under 30% of income.

You may be paying 25% to 27% of income towards home loan. Acceptable range.

Personal loan of Rs. 5 lakh is short-term pressure.

Interest rate is usually high for personal loan.

Target to close personal loan in next 12 to 18 months.

Till then, reduce monthly investments.

Personal loan closure gives mental peace.

Your Current Investments Need a Review

You invest Rs. 1 lakh monthly. That is almost 67% of salary.

ICICI Gift Plan and Reliance Nippon are likely insurance-based plans.

These are not suitable for wealth creation or child education.

Insurance-cum-investment plans give poor returns.

Their long lock-in and high charges reduce actual gain.

You started one year back. So, minimal lock-in completed.

Ask for surrender value of both policies.

If surrender value is close to premiums paid, consider exiting.

Redeploy funds into diversified mutual funds through MFD with CFP credentials.

Actively managed mutual funds are better suited.

Avoid direct plans. Regular funds with CFP/MFD give right advice.

Direct funds miss personal guidance. Mistakes can be costly.

Building Emergency Buffer is Priority

First, stop new investments till loan EMIs are reduced.

Build Rs. 2.5 lakh to Rs. 3 lakh emergency fund in savings account or liquid fund.

It covers 3 to 4 months of family expenses.

Emergency fund prevents panic in job loss or medical cases.

Use your wife's pension to partly build this buffer.

Avoid investing pension in insurance schemes.

That money must be liquid and easily available.

Child Education Planning

Your child is 5 years now.

College cost is expected to be high 12 to 15 years later.

SIP of Rs. 8,000 to Rs. 10,000 monthly in equity mutual fund is ideal.

Use regular fund route with help of MFD/CFP.

Do not use index funds. They lack fund manager flexibility.

Index funds mirror markets, not good during volatility.

Actively managed funds perform better in long run.

Goal-specific SIPs give better discipline.

Keep these funds separate from your retirement goal.

Retirement Planning Strategy

You are 40 years old now.

Retirement goal is only 18 to 20 years away.

It needs proper fund allocation early.

Pension from mother will not continue forever.

You should aim to build a corpus from age 40 to 58.

Rs. 8,000 to Rs. 12,000 monthly SIP is good for retirement start.

Begin this only after emergency fund and personal loan are settled.

Do not mix retirement planning with child education goal.

Each needs separate tracking and investment.

Setting Up the Tea Stall – Smart Way to Plan

You are thinking of extra income. That is a very good idea.

Tea stall business needs Rs. 1.5 to 2 lakh setup cost.

Don’t take loan for this new venture now.

Use small savings or wait till personal loan closes.

Test it on weekends before going full time.

If business gives Rs. 10,000 to Rs. 15,000 extra income, use it for savings.

Don’t stop current job until business is stable.

Make your wife also a part of the stall if she’s interested.

Extra income will reduce pressure on main salary.

Insurance – A Key Area to Check

You have dependent wife, kid, and elderly mother.

Must have term life insurance cover.

Ideal cover is 12 to 15 times your annual income.

Go for plain term plan only. Avoid ULIP or return plans.

Health insurance for full family is also very important.

Avoid depending only on employer cover.

Check if you have personal health insurance for family.

If not, take one immediately.

Tax Saving Can Be Done Smarter

Current investments in ICICI and Reliance might be tax-saving policies.

Better to use ELSS mutual funds through regular plan.

They give better post-tax returns.

They have 3-year lock-in only.

PPF can also be part of long-term planning for tax saving.

Don't focus only on tax saving. Think about wealth building.

Spending and Budget Control is Important

Track monthly spending habits.

Use a diary or mobile app to write all expenses.

Cut unnecessary spends by 10%.

Don’t use credit cards for non-essential expenses.

Save on luxury items or online shopping.

Focus on family needs and long-term benefits.

Your Action Plan – Step by Step

Stop investment in ICICI and Reliance plans after checking surrender value.

Focus on repaying personal loan in next 12 to 18 months.

Build Rs. 2.5 lakh emergency fund before new investments.

Start SIPs for child education and retirement after loan closure.

Use only regular mutual funds with MFD/CFP support.

Do not choose direct funds. Lack of guidance can cause loss.

Get term insurance and health insurance soon.

Start tea stall only after loan repayment and buffer in place.

Try it part time first to understand business ground.

Finally

You have taken a strong step by asking for help. That shows your vision and intent. Your income is good. But debt and investment mismatch is blocking growth. With right steps, you can create secure future for child and self.

Don’t wait for perfect time. Take small steps now. Review yearly with support of Certified Financial Planner.

Stay focused on planning. Not on shortcuts. This gives peace, growth, and confidence.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8467 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
after loan rewritting, interest rate is reduced but emi and tenure remains unchanged, why??
Ans: You said that your loan interest rate was reduced after rewriting, but both EMI and tenure stayed the same. It is a very common case and needs to be clearly understood. We will analyse the situation with practical thinking.

Why the Lender Reduced Interest but Kept EMI and Tenure the Same

First, a lower interest means less cost on total loan.

But your EMI stayed the same because the lender decided to keep it simple.

By doing this, the extra amount from lower interest goes to principal.

So, your principal is now reducing faster with the same EMI.

This means you will still finish the loan early, though tenure appears same now.

What Happens When EMI and Tenure Are Kept Unchanged

You pay less interest overall now.

Your loan is getting closed faster than before.

Lender doesn’t always show revised schedule immediately.

But effective tenure reduces, saving you more money.

How to Know You’re Benefiting Even Without EMI Drop

Ask for amortisation table from your lender.

Compare old interest cost with new interest cost.

You’ll see the interest saved and faster principal reduction.

That’s your hidden gain without changing EMI or tenure.

Why Lenders Often Keep EMI Constant After Rewriting

They do this for ease and consistency.

Changing EMI affects auto-debit and bank instructions.

Keeping same EMI gives a smooth experience for borrower.

You don’t have to submit new mandates.

Should You Ask for EMI or Tenure Change Actively?

Depends on your goal – early closure or monthly saving.

If you want low EMI for cashflow, you can request EMI reduction.

If you want faster loan finish, keep EMI same.

It’s better to keep EMI same to close early and save interest.

How This Impacts Your Financial Planning

Early loan closure gives you freedom.

It helps redirect money to your goals sooner.

Once EMI stops, you can invest more towards wealth creation.

This increases your savings and builds faster financial stability.

Why Faster Loan Repayment Is Always Better

You pay less interest to the lender.

You become debt-free sooner.

Your credit score improves.

You get peace of mind.

You free up more income for investing.

Use Surplus EMI Amount Later for SIPs

After loan ends, use EMI amount to start mutual fund SIPs.

This builds long-term wealth and supports your financial goals.

Start with equity mutual funds for 7+ year goals.

Use hybrid or debt funds for short-term goals.

How to Align Loans with Investment Planning

Speak with a Certified Financial Planner for full strategy.

CFP helps you balance loan repayment with investing.

Don’t just reduce EMI and spend the savings.

Use savings to build wealth for retirement or child education.

Don’t Depend on Bank’s Default Setting Always

Bank may keep EMI and tenure same for ease.

But that may not suit your personal goals.

Ask clearly for revised amortisation and schedule.

You have full right to ask for EMI or tenure change.

Loan Rewriting Must Be Combined with Proper Investment Planning

Lower interest is helpful, but use the savings wisely.

Many people save on loan and spend the surplus.

Instead, channel it into SIPs through a proper plan.

Only a Certified Financial Planner can give this alignment.

Avoid Mistakes After Loan Rewriting

Don’t assume EMI staying same means no benefit.

Don’t use saved interest money for lifestyle upgrades.

Don’t keep excess savings idle in your bank account.

Don’t skip checking updated loan statements.

Best Use of Surplus After Loan Rate Drop

Use extra income for emergency fund top-up.

Start or increase SIP in equity mutual funds.

Fund your child’s education plan systematically.

Strengthen your retirement goal with higher monthly investing.

Additional Tip for Financial Discipline

Keep an Excel sheet or tracker for your loan schedule.

Compare actual loan balance with expected balance.

This will show your loan is closing faster.

Motivates you to stay financially disciplined.

What If You Already Have Investment-Linked Insurance?

If you hold LIC, ULIP, or any endowment policy, review them now.

They give very low return over long term.

Consider surrendering and reinvesting in mutual funds.

This ensures better growth with flexibility.

How Mutual Funds Help Post Loan Completion

After EMI ends, your savings rise.

Use that to start a long-term SIP.

Choose actively managed mutual funds only.

They give better returns with fund manager involvement.

Why Index Funds Are Not Ideal

Index funds only copy the market.

They don’t protect during market crashes.

No active decision-making or research behind them.

Actively managed funds perform better with expert strategies.

Avoid Direct Mutual Fund Investments

Direct funds may seem cheaper but lack proper support.

No one guides you through changes or market cycles.

With regular funds through Certified Financial Planner, you get direction.

CFP helps match funds with your life goals.

Taxation Benefit is Also Indirect in Loan Rewrite

Lower interest means less yearly interest claim under 80C.

But total wealth increases due to faster principal reduction.

Balance loan planning with other tax-saving investments.

Final Insights

Interest rate cut helps you save more.

Even if EMI and tenure are unchanged, you still benefit.

Use saved interest portion for future goals.

Review your financial plan with a Certified Financial Planner regularly.

Becoming debt-free faster is one key to long-term wealth creation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8467 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
I am 30 years old recently i married ine year. I bought house of 1.3 cr including in Bangalore. And emi is 90k with some top up loans. My monthly income is 2 lac. And the loan is 20 years. Because of AI. I feeling tensed what if job loss, how i need to repay the loan.And also i have 2 lacs of FD, 3 lacs in savings, 5 lacs in ELSS mutual fund which lockin period end in 2027 since i done sip.1 lac worth of equities.
Ans: You are 30. You are married recently. Congratulations.
You bought a house in Bangalore. Good move if you plan to stay long.
Home cost is Rs. 1.3 crore. Loan is for 20 years. EMI is Rs. 90,000.
Your monthly income is Rs. 2 lakhs.

You also hold Rs. 2 lakhs in FD.
Rs. 3 lakhs in savings account.
Rs. 5 lakhs in ELSS mutual funds (lock-in till 2027).
Rs. 1 lakh in direct equities.

You are worried about job loss due to AI.
That fear is real. But can be handled with proper plan.
Let us now review your finances fully.

A full 360-degree assessment is given below.

Understand Your Cash Flow First

Your EMI is Rs. 90,000 per month.

This is 45% of your salary.

Ideally, EMI should be below 40%.

Slightly on higher side, but still manageable.

You are saving nearly Rs. 10,000 to Rs. 20,000.

That saving can increase with planning.

Avoid lifestyle inflation to stay safe.

You need to build buffers now.

Build an Emergency Fund Immediately

You have Rs. 5 lakhs in liquid savings.

Combine FD and savings bank for this.

Keep this untouched for emergencies.

This gives you mental peace during job risks.

Ideally, have 6 to 9 months EMI saved.

Rs. 8 lakhs to Rs. 10 lakhs must be your goal.

Do not use this fund for expenses or investments.

Review Job Risk and Plan Career Safety

AI impact is serious across industries.

Upskill yourself to stay relevant.

Take online courses related to your job.

Upgrade your profile every year.

Stay aware of changes in your field.

Job loss fear reduces when you keep learning.

A better skilled employee stays ahead.

Prepare a Backup Plan for Income

Look for secondary income sources.

Small freelance or consulting roles help.

Use weekend time productively.

Even Rs. 5,000 per month is useful.

Passive income is key for loan safety.

Your spouse can also contribute if possible.

Family income gives more stability.

Do Not Depend on Direct Equities Now

Direct stocks are very risky now.

Markets are volatile.

You already have house loan burden.

Rs. 1 lakh in stocks is okay. But don’t increase.

Do not invest fresh money in equities directly.

Keep equity allocation within ELSS only.

ELSS Mutual Fund Is Good for Tax Saving

ELSS lock-in ends in 2027.

Don’t redeem before that.

Let it grow peacefully till lock-in ends.

Do not stop SIP unless you really must.

After lock-in, shift to regular equity funds.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner only.

Avoid Direct Fund Investing Later

Direct funds do not give guidance.

No one reviews or supports your portfolio.

You need professional advice.

Invest through regular plans with CFP only.

Certified Financial Planner offers full support.

MFD linked with CFP guides you long-term.

Advice, monitoring and correction are valuable.

Avoid Index Funds in Future

Index funds just copy the market.

They do not protect during downfall.

They have no fund manager strategy.

You cannot beat inflation by copying index.

Actively managed funds work better.

Good managers manage risk and returns.

They adjust portfolio based on economy.

Don’t Take Any Top-up Loans Now

You already have a home loan.

Additional loans increase your stress.

Avoid personal loan or car loan for 3 years.

Focus on stability, not consumption.

Top-up loans may look easy now.

But later, they become pressure.

Keep Your Insurance Protection in Place

Health insurance must be active.

Rs. 5 to 10 lakhs family floater is enough.

Check if your job offers it.

If not, buy outside immediately.

Buy term insurance if you don’t have.

Sum assured should be at least Rs. 1 crore.

Avoid ULIP, endowment, or money-back plans.

If You Hold LIC or ULIP Plans

If you have any LIC or ULIP or mixed plans, surrender them.

Take only pure term insurance.

Rest of money should be in mutual funds.

Investment and insurance should not mix.

Keep them separate always.

Track Your EMI and Home Loan Closely

Keep EMI on auto debit from bank.

Never miss EMI even for one month.

If job risk increases, inform bank early.

You can ask for restructuring in hard times.

But don’t wait till it’s too late.

Home loan default affects your CIBIL badly.

Plan to Part-Prepay Loan Every Year

Use bonuses or variable pay to prepay.

Even Rs. 50,000 per year helps.

It reduces interest in long term.

But don’t use emergency fund for this.

Plan separate prepayment fund.

Avoid Real Estate for Investment Now

Real estate is illiquid.

Not suitable for salaried person with big loan.

You already bought one house.

Don’t invest in another house or plot.

Focus should be financial instruments only.

Avoid Annuity Products or Locked Plans

Annuity returns are low.

They lock your money for years.

They are taxable too.

You are too young for annuities.

Stay flexible and growth-oriented.

Your Asset Allocation Looks Balanced Now

Rs. 5 lakh in ELSS – good for long term.

Rs. 2 lakh FD + Rs. 3 lakh savings – good cushion.

Rs. 1 lakh in equity – avoid further increase.

No high-risk moves needed now.

Keep asset mix 60% safe, 40% growth-based.

Track Mutual Fund Taxation for Future

ELSS is equity-based. Taxed accordingly.

LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%.

Debt fund returns taxed by income slab.

Plan redemptions with tax in mind.

Stay Calm and Follow Structured Plan

Don’t act in fear or pressure.

Take decisions based on plan.

Avoid news-based actions.

AI will change jobs. But it also creates new ones.

Be flexible and ready for change.

Work With a Certified Financial Planner

CFP helps plan your loan, taxes, savings.

He also builds your retirement and goals.

Choose a CFP who works full time.

He will guide during job change or tough periods.

Stay with one advisor long-term.

Finally

Your EMI is manageable now.

Build Rs. 10 lakh emergency fund slowly.

Prepay loan in small parts every year.

Upskill and stay relevant in job.

Avoid direct stocks and top-up loans.

Don’t fall for product sales.

Focus only on practical and liquid investments.

ELSS is fine. Direct equity should be minimum.

Mutual fund SIPs can continue if job is stable.

Do all new investments only through CFP using regular plans.

Avoid index funds, annuities, and real estate investments.

Protect health and life with right insurance.

Keep spouse informed about all money decisions.

Review your money plan once every 6 months.

Stay prepared for job changes, not scared.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8467 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
I'm 34 years years old, me and my wife have joint income of around 2 lacs per month. Current EMIs of around Rs. 45,000 per month and House Rent Rs. 22,000 per month. How much should we be savings per month to secure our future and become debt free and financially stable? Also, suggest where should I invest the money?
Ans: At 34, with a steady income and manageable EMIs, you’re in a good position to build strong financial stability. Let’s now assess your situation from all angles and give you a full financial roadmap.

Income and Expense Analysis

Your combined monthly income is Rs. 2 lakhs.

Your current EMI is Rs. 45,000.

Your house rent is Rs. 22,000.

Total fixed outgo is Rs. 67,000 monthly.

After these, you are left with Rs. 1.33 lakh per month.

This leftover amount is your starting point to build savings and investments.

Emergency Fund Planning

Emergency fund is your first priority before any investments.

Keep 6 months of expenses in this fund.

For your household, target Rs. 4 lakhs to Rs. 5 lakhs.

Park it in liquid mutual funds or bank savings-linked FDs.

This will protect you from sudden job loss or medical expenses.

Insurance Protection Plan

Get health insurance for both of you separately from employer cover.

A Rs. 10 lakh floater family policy is ideal.

Life insurance should be term insurance only.

Coverage should be 15-20 times your annual income.

Avoid ULIPs, endowments, and money-back policies.

These mix insurance and investment and deliver low returns.

Debt Strategy for Freedom

Aim to close EMIs before investing heavily.

Start with highest interest debt first.

If you can add Rs. 10,000 extra per month towards EMIs, it will help.

This shortens tenure and reduces total interest.

Avoid taking new consumer loans.

Ideal Monthly Savings Target

From Rs. 1.33 lakh available, aim to save Rs. 80,000 monthly.

Use rest for lifestyle, vacations, family gifts and goals.

As income grows, increase savings by 10% every year.

Goal-Based Investment Approach

Let us now divide your investments into key life goals. This gives focus and clarity.

Short-Term Goals (0–3 years)

These can include vacation, car, or house deposit.

Avoid equity here. Too risky for short term.

Use ultra short-term mutual funds or arbitrage funds.

These give better returns than FDs with similar risk.

Medium-Term Goals (3–7 years)

Child birth, early school needs, small home improvement.

Use a mix of hybrid mutual funds.

Choose a balanced advantage fund and multi-asset funds.

They manage equity and debt dynamically. Suitable for this time frame.

Long-Term Goals (7+ years)

Children’s higher education, retirement, wealth building.

Focus more on equity mutual funds here.

Diversify across large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds.

SIP of Rs. 50,000 monthly across 4–5 equity mutual funds is ideal.

Equity gives inflation-beating growth over long term.

Important Note on Index Funds

Many suggest index funds as low-cost option.

But they blindly follow the market without research.

In falling markets, they fall without cushion.

Actively managed mutual funds give better downside protection.

They have research-driven stock selection and flexibility.

Investment Mode – Direct vs Regular

Direct mutual fund option looks cheaper on paper.

But lacks advisor support and guidance.

Wrong fund or wrong asset mix can lower your long-term wealth.

Regular funds via a Certified Financial Planner ensure right strategy.

CFP monitors, rebalances and aligns portfolio to your goals.

Child Future Planning

If planning a child or already have one, start early.

SIP in child-focused mutual funds is a good start.

Use long-term funds for higher education corpus.

Avoid child ULIPs or endowment policies.

These are expensive and give low returns.

Retirement Planning from Now

You are 34. Retirement at 58 gives you 24 years.

Compounding works best in this time frame.

SIPs in equity mutual funds can build strong retirement wealth.

Add NPS only if you are sure of its structure and lock-in.

Better to use mutual funds with liquidity and flexibility.

Avoid Investment-Linked Insurance Plans

LIC, ULIPs, money-back plans offer low IRR.

If you have any, consider surrendering.

Redirect those funds to mutual funds with long-term vision.

How to Start Your Investments

Begin with a financial plan prepared by a CFP.

List all your goals with time and value.

Divide your Rs. 80,000 monthly savings across goals.

Allocate in the right mix of funds.

Monitor it every 6 months with the planner.

How to Become Financially Stable

Financial stability is more than just saving money.

It is about managing risk, growing money, and planning future needs.

Keep track of net worth yearly.

Avoid credit card debts. Use loans only for assets.

Increase savings rate as income grows.

Stay invested even during market falls. That’s where wealth is created.

Avoid Common Investment Traps

Don’t follow friends or social media for fund tips.

Avoid churning of funds frequently.

Don’t mix insurance with investments.

Avoid investing everything in one asset class.

Tax-Saving Investments

ELSS funds are good for 80C tax saving.

They also help create wealth in the long run.

Don’t overdo insurance to save tax.

Use PPF for some safe tax-free returns.

Use Bucket Strategy in Future

Create three buckets for money post-retirement.

Short-term bucket for regular needs in liquid or arbitrage funds.

Mid-term bucket in hybrid funds for 5–7 years needs.

Long-term bucket in equity mutual funds for growth.

This helps manage income and reduce tax stress.

Taxation on Mutual Funds (Updated Rules)

Equity mutual fund gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Gains below this are tax-free in a year.

Short-term gains taxed at 20%.

Debt mutual funds taxed as per your income slab.

Keep Your Investments Simple

Choose 4–5 strong mutual funds only.

Don’t chase past returns.

Focus on consistency and fund manager experience.

Use SIPs for regular investing and lumpsum during market dips.

Final Insights

You are in a good place financially.

Just need structured saving and smart investing.

Rs. 80,000 monthly saving is a strong start.

Focus on risk protection, goal clarity and fund discipline.

Take guidance from a Certified Financial Planner for long-term support.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8467 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
Dear sir, I am 27 year old with a 3 lakhs personal loan emi timely ni ja pa rhi h aur gold loan bhi h 1.2lakh h my monthly income 35000how to done it
Ans: You are trying your best. That’s a good start.
Your situation is tough. But not impossible.
A small change today can help big tomorrow.

You are 27 years old.
You are earning Rs. 35,000 per month.
You have a personal loan of Rs. 3 lakhs.
You also have a gold loan of Rs. 1.2 lakhs.
Your EMI is not going properly.

Let us now assess your full financial life.
Let us try to find the best and practical solution.
A full 360-degree review is given below.

Understand the Real Picture

Personal loan EMI is not affordable now.

Gold loan is adding more pressure.

Monthly income is Rs. 35,000. But expenses are unknown.

No clarity about other savings or liabilities.

Let us assume Rs. 10,000 is for basic living.

Balance Rs. 25,000 is not enough for two loans.

This is a debt trap stage. Need immediate plan.

Taking more loan is not a solution.

Your financial life must be stabilised first.

It can be done step-by-step, patiently.

Start with Budget Review

Track all expenses for one month.

Find unnecessary or avoidable costs.

Limit online food orders, OTT, travel, and lifestyle spends.

Create a written monthly budget.

Follow the budget strictly for 6 months.

Bring expenses down to minimum.

Target monthly savings of Rs. 10,000 to 12,000 minimum.

Keep a small notebook or app to monitor it daily.

Address the Gold Loan First

Gold loan usually has high interest.

It is a secured loan. Gold can be auctioned.

Try to close gold loan in 4 to 6 months.

Use all possible savings to repay this one first.

If possible, take a small help from family to close gold loan.

Once gold is released, avoid re-pledging it.

This step gives you mental relief.

Talk to the Bank for Personal Loan Restructure

Approach the bank directly.

Request to restructure the EMI.

Ask for longer tenure or reduced EMI.

It is better than defaulting EMI.

Banks do offer one-time solutions sometimes.

Keep all records of communication.

Do not ignore EMI delay calls.

Be proactive and transparent with bank.

Avoid Taking Any New Loan Now

Do not take credit card loans.

Avoid app-based loans with high interest.

Do not take hand loans with monthly interest.

It will worsen your situation.

Focus on repayment, not replacement of loans.

Start Emergency Fund Slowly

Once gold loan is closed, build an emergency fund.

Keep 2 to 3 months income in savings.

This avoids future loan needs.

Even Rs. 1,000 saved per month is good.

Emergency fund gives you peace.

Assess Your Career and Income Options

Check if income can be increased.

Take weekend freelance or part-time job.

Learn a small new skill for better salary.

Many free online courses are there.

Try for a higher-paying job also.

Small income boost can ease repayment.

Protect Your Health First

If you don’t have health insurance, buy now.

Even low-cost Rs. 5 lakh cover is useful.

Medical emergency can push you back to more loans.

Check employer coverage also.

Avoid Insurance-Cum-Investment Plans

If you hold any ULIP, endowment, or LIC money-back, stop it.

Surrender it and take term insurance only.

Invest the surrendered money into good mutual funds.

But only after clearing loans.

Insurance is for protection, not investment.

When You Start Investing Later

Start SIP in mutual funds through Certified Financial Planner.

Prefer regular funds via MFD, not direct funds.

Direct funds do not provide advice or support.

CFP gives personalised service and long-term review.

Regular funds give long-term guidance and hand-holding.

Stay Away From Index Funds

Index funds do not beat market returns.

They have no active fund manager.

They follow market blindly.

They don’t protect you in down markets.

Actively managed funds give better returns with lower risk.

Avoid Real Estate Investment

Real estate needs big capital.

It has high maintenance and low liquidity.

It is not for your stage now.

Focus on clearing loans and creating liquidity.

Avoid Annuities

Annuities lock your money for long.

Returns are low and taxable.

Not suitable for your young age.

Keep money flexible and growing.

Track Your Progress Every Month

Review your budget monthly.

Check if loan balances are going down.

Check if your savings are improving.

Make a small celebration for each milestone.

Stay motivated throughout the journey.

Build a Financial Mindset

Talk about money openly with family.

Read one finance article every week.

Stay away from people who promote quick money.

Be patient and consistent.

Long-term thinking gives stability.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner

Once loan stress is reduced, meet a CFP.

He will plan your future steps.

He will guide on savings, insurance, retirement.

CFP is trained to handle all situations.

Choose one with a good track record.

Final Insights

First 12 months will be hard. But you can manage.

Focus on one step at a time.

Close gold loan first.

Then restructure personal loan.

Stick to a budget without fail.

Start savings slowly.

Don’t take fresh loans.

Focus on income growth.

Don’t mix insurance with investment.

Choose mutual funds through CFP only.

Direct or index funds are not for your situation.

You are still young. A solid plan can help you.

One good decision today can change your tomorrow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x