Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |821 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
suresh Question by suresh on Apr 29, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

my wife not understand my feelings

Ans: Dear Suresh,
I have very little information from you on why you feel that your wife does not understand your feelings.
Let us assume: that is takes two hands to clap...
So,
1. If and when, there is a difference of opinion, instead of feeling lost that she does not understand your feelings, can you instead tell her: I feel unheard instead of you don't understand me at all.
2. Do spend time hearing her as well as she could just be complaining in her way through pushing you back and not wanting to hear you

Try this and like I always say: It takes love, commitment, trust and a lot of understanding to grow a relationship. And it takes only one assumption to break a relationship.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |821 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 07, 2023

Listen
Relationship
Hi, Anu krishna I am shekhar from Hyd, My wife always comparing the life with rich people. for that she build the pressure on me any thing . But I am explaining actual situation but she did not understand. Already once i tried for business for 3 years for her satisfaction earn the money. But that 3 years we loosed any thing and once upon time I tried attempted suicided. Then I come back and re-started my professional job. Now again i am in well position but not my wife expected level. Now my wife again and again pressurizing, earn the money. How can I explain to my wife smoothly without disturbing her mind. please help me
Ans: Dear Manny,
You cannot keep yielding to your wife's demands of becoming rich by comparing you to other rich people. No money is enough money and this is something that must understand.
If she isn't happy with your current professional job, no matter what you do, she has decided not to approve of it.
Money is not earned only by doing business but it can come through a job as well. You cannot be under this pressure of earning more money as it will start to affect your mental and physical health.
Kindly speak with her by putting down the problem as you face it or else request someone from her family to speak with her.
Money is not everything but when we compare ourselves to someone who makes more money than us, the mind becomes stressed and almost obsessive that we can make more mistakes. Time for you to speak up your mind and do what you think is right as what you need right now is stability from your losses. Speaking your mind will also help you manage your stress better. Your wife may not understand this now, but someday she will understand why you had to do this and continue with the job for the time being.
All the best!
(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |821 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 02, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello Mam, I am 45 year old IT professional, I have good salary and owning 3 flats. My wife is also working and she also having descent salary. I am having family of 4, Me, wife, daughter 11 years and son 8 years old. My problem here is, we are having discussion on only future and not living current life. My wife is think more about money and how to get money quickly as possible for further provisions like kids education, retirement etc. Also, She doesnt want to spend on me especilaly, never got any gift from her. We are not having good physical relation. Many times i have discussed with her and went through doctor for consultantion and medication. But, she doesnt want to take medicines.I feel very bad and my life is similar as earlier. Many times feels like she doesnt love me. My life become mechanic and no joy init. I am just living for my Kids betterment.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well no two people in a marriage are the same, are they?
You just have different ideals stemming from different value systems. this can be bridged by actually talking about it, so that either of you might not be on a extreme. If she likes to save, you can moderate her by actually setting a budget for spending on necessities and luxuries.
And she will in turn moderate you, if she finds you spending on things that are unnecessary.
It's about seeing things on the same page but with different glasses and acknowledging that you are both different.
As far as physical intimacy goes, I guess many couples face a slump after children occupying a huge part of their lives and with full-time jobs, it can make one tired more than excited. Set aside time to be alone with one another and practice the art of non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, cuddling, hugging...
Sometimes to jump out of the mechanical life, you need to do something different and exciting to get a different and exciting result. So do what you haven't done before! Get the drift here?

All the best!
(more)
Shalini

Shalini Singh  |61 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Shalini ji i am married since 2007 last 18 years my life was going very we'll and we both have good understanding and we both taking care of our family having two kids very well last year i come to know that before marriage my wife were having one male friend this male friends usually meet my wife at that time and gossips and even he taken her to visit on some locations 4 to 5 times as per my wife this friend was taken her to his room also 4 time but as they were good friends only so they just gossiping there as well as per my wife she had no any feeling with that guy but in between one day he asked her that he want to marry her , as per my wife he was telling him that he has been broken by his old girl friend and now since my wife listening him very carefully he started liking her , my wife still meeting him in between and go for outing at that time one day he asked to visit her home for marriage than my wife reject his proposal, after that this man gone out of station and than not met her, as per my wife telling me that i have not liked him and not having any feeling at that time and she telling that my 1st love is my husband only i am not able to decide anything now and not able to sleep properly not able to focus on me my health and my work i am vey shocked that the girl i love how she met with other man in past why she gone for outdoor and his room in past i am vey upset from last one year now and nkt able to find any Solution what to do now how to live life ahead pl guide me
Ans: Whilst I comment on dating and how to find your person, I will like to comment on this

1. basis of what you have shared you are overthinking and ruining what you have had since 18 years. your wife decided to stay with you and invest in the relationship with you is the fact that she cares for you and the relationship so stop being upset, be kind to yourself, her and the relationship.

on another note

2. marriage should not stop us from having close friends from the opposite gender.

3. if you are married, it means you are an adult which means if two adults consent to adultery its their responsibility to accept it. say if you are attracted to a woman and go all the way its not the woman who has lured you, both are in their senses and know what they are doing.

4. yes even after marrying or being in a committed relationship you can and will find others attractive and you will be found attractive to others. Its upto you and only you on how you wish to act if such a situation arises. As I shared you are an adult and someone who can not think but also overthink so you decide how to act in such a situation.
(more)
Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |821 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, i am 34 yrs old married for the last 4 yrs. I married a man knowing he is alcoholic. I had told him that I am not someone who is very fond of sex and I am very scared to have sex as I feel it's painful for which he was okay thinking I would change after marriage. Both of us din want to have kids. It's been 4 yrs I have not had sex Nor has he ever forced me to. Tat way he respects me is what I believe, the reason initially I used to deny was he used to drink and come home , just few days after being wed he came drunk abused me physically and verbally. Things escalated during lockdown he is mentally, verbally abusive , emotionally not available. He has a problem with everyone around him, I have told him multiple times that we could go for counseling, he says okay at times and later abuses me for suggesting it. I have always been there for him, supported mentally , emotionally and financially. But I get nothing in return. I used to feel it's all coz of me not having sex but will having sex just solve all this? It's not like I have not gone to meet psychiatrists I have and they advised me few things and I have also told my husband that let's have sex but he tells some reason. Also, we do get physical make out and everything except for sex. He says when he is in a good mood that it's not about sex. He has had this abusive behaviour right from day one. Why is sex given so much importance ? much more than basic care and affection? M I at fault here? Please help me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's put it all in one form...
1. You married a man who has a drinking problem
2. You feel sex is painful and believe that it is
3. You wonder if having sex can solve all your problems
4. You want to know if basic care and affection can override sex
Who is at fault must not be your question but rather ask what can be done here to rebuild the marriage?
Firstly, if you husband has a drinking issue, why has this not been treated? Instead the focus is on sex and no sex...
Sure, sex is a part of any marriage and it certainly can help couples bond together in a better way. But is it the only thing to save a marriage? NO!
But it's possible that sex may help your husband communicate better with you at an emotional level as well. You see, physical and emotional bonding go hand in hand. And wherever you got the idea that sex is painful needs to worked upon. Honestly, you are missing out on a beautiful element within marriage.
Kindly seek professional help for yourself on this, your husband for his drinking issue and it will help going for couples therapy. Do what needs to be done to put your marriage back together. Long journey, if you feel this can actually help and that you want that help...

All the best!
(more)
Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |314 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Listen
Career
Dear sir, my brother was doing b pharm right now next year he will graduate,, please suggest what he will proceed after doing b pharm sir
Ans: Hello Lomina,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am happy to hear that your brother is currently pursuing his Bachelor of Pharmacy (B.Pharm) and will graduate next year. To answer your question first, I would like to tell you that based on his interests and professional objectives, there are many career paths that your brother can pursue once he completes his degree. I would recommend that you consider the following:

Your brother can consider working as a pharmacist in retail pharmacies, hospitals, or community pharmacies. Remember that this is the most typical employment route for graduates of B.Pharm. Pharmacists provide medications, advise patients on how to take them safely, and other health-related services. If your brother possesses strong writing abilities, working as a medical writer, crafting content for regulatory bodies, pharmaceutical companies, or healthcare organizations, is one of the other jobs that he could choose from. Documents including clinical trial reports, regulatory filings, and instructional materials are created by medical writers. Your brother may choose to work as a hospital administrator, wherein he would be responsible for controlling pharmaceutical services in healthcare facilities, in turn, guaranteeing effective medication administration, and monitoring drug delivery networks. Another career path for your brother includes taking up a job as a clinical research associate (CRA) or working in other research-related roles in research institutions or pharmaceutical companies. Remember that in order to make sure new medications are safe and effective for use, this entails conducting trials to test them. He can also choose to work in drug safety and pharmacovigilance, checking if the medications sold are safe, looking into unfavorable incidents, and making sure safety rules are followed. Your brother can also take up a job in regulatory affairs, making sure that pharmaceutical items adhere to rules and norms established by regulatory bodies. This entails creating and submitting regulatory paperwork, verifying regulatory compliance, and coordinating with regulatory authorities. Your brother can also choose to work in quality control or quality assurance positions in pharmaceutical companies, making sure that products adhere to regulations and standards of quality. In addition to the above, I would like to let you know that your brother can also pursue further education, viz., a Master's degree (M.Pharm) or a Ph.D. in pharmaceutical sciences or associated disciplines. Remember that pursuing higher studies can lead to possibilities for teaching, research, or advanced roles in areas viz., pharmaceutics, pharmacognosy, medicinal chemistry, or pharmacology.

When choosing which career path to opt for upon finishing his Bachelor of Pharmacy (B.Pharm) degree, I would suggest that your brother takes into account his abilities, interests, and professional objectives. Lastly, I would like to say that acquiring practical experience through internships or entry-level work may prove beneficial, as this will allow your brother to investigate other career paths and learn valuable skills in the sector.

For more information, you can visit our website.
(more)
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x